by Amanda Abram
“Thanks, Hannah,” I said.
“You’re welcome,” she said with another smile.
As soon as she was gone, I glanced back at myself in the mirror.
Wait. All I had to do was wait. Wait until things calmed down between Elijah and Dylan, until they forgot all about what happened, or until Elijah found a way to move on. I could do it. I would do it. No matter if I had to wait days, weeks or months. I would wait for as long as I had to.
I just hoped Dylan was willing to do the same.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Waiting sucked. It sucked so hard.
I spent the next week waiting to see some sort of change. I waited to see if I could spot Dylan and Elijah communicating with each other, but I didn’t. I waited to see if I could spot Dylan communicating with any of his other friends, but I didn’t. I waited for Dylan to communicate with me, but he didn’t. In fact, he avoided me all week and then come Friday—Valentine’s Day—he wasn’t even at school.
Oh, right, Valentine’s Day. The only thing that sucked worse than the waiting. I was supposed to have my first date with Dylan that night. I was supposed to be walking on cloud nine because I finally had a boyfriend to spend that special day with. But I screwed that up, didn’t I?
“Are you sure you don’t want me to cancel my date with Jake tonight?” Lauren asked as she walked me to my third period Spanish class. “Because I have no problem doing that. You and I can have a sleepover and watch a bunch of horror movies while we eat our weight in pizza. How does that sound?”
That sounded amazing, but I was not about to let Lauren ruin her Valentine’s Day for me. “I am absolutely sure I don’t want you to do that.”
“But I’m going to be seeing him tomorrow at Winter Formal anyway.”
“Laur.” I stopped walking and placed my hands on her shoulders, looking her straight in the eye. “I want you to go on your date with Jake tonight as planned. I want him to shower you with flowers and candy. I want the two of you to kiss each other until neither one of you can breathe anymore. I want this to be the most magical night of your life, okay? Don’t worry about me. I’m going to be just fine.”
A little white lie never hurt anyone.
Lauren seemed to relax as she smiled. “You’re at least still going to the dance tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, I’m still going to the dance tomorrow.”
After a week of pestering me, she had finally broken me down and I had agreed to go. I wasn’t excited about it, but I also wasn’t dreading it. Because maybe, perhaps, Dylan might be there. He did have a ticket, after all. And if he was there, maybe he would share a dance with me. Maybe more.
And I didn’t even care if Elijah was there to witness it.
“Great!” Lauren gave me a quick hug. “I should get to class. See you at lunch!”
As I walked into my Spanish class a few seconds later, the first thing I noticed was that all the girls were huddled around in small groups, excitedly whispering about something. At first, I was curious as to what was happening, but then I remembered. It was Valentine’s Day. And the beginning of third period on Valentine’s Day every year was when roses were handed out by cheerleaders to the girls lucky enough to have boyfriends or secret admirers who were sweet enough to order them one.
I had never gotten one.
This year wasn’t going to be any different.
I considered asking my teacher, Ms. Ramirez, if I could go use the bathroom before class and then come back after I saw the cheerleaders leave the room. I wasn’t in the mood to sit there and watch all the other girls get roses from the boys who loved them while I had to sit at my desk all alone and heartbroken.
I lost my chance to use the bathroom as the bell rang and everyone took their seats. Ms. Ramirez, festively dressed in a red sweater with white hearts all over it, stood from her desk with a big grin on her face.
“Hola clase,” she said in Spanish, “Feliz día de San Valentín!” She glanced over at the doorway and I turned my head to see a couple of sophomore cheerleaders standing there with their arms full of single roses.
“Please, come in.” She waved them into the room and then turned her attention back to the class. “As I’m sure you’re all aware, these girls are here to deliver rosas to some very lucky chicas and chicos. And after that, we’ll be having a pop quiz on verb conjugations!”
Half the class groaned as the other half just stared at the cheerleaders in anticipation.
Well, I guess I had a couple of free minutes to study for that pop quiz.
Slouching back in my chair, I opened my textbook and started brushing up on some of the verbs we learned recently. It was hard to concentrate with the sounds of, “oohs” and “ahhs” all around me, but I pushed through as best I could. A perfect grade on a pop quiz meant way more to me than some stupid rose anyway.
After a couple of minutes, all the roses had been handed out. Only a small handful of kids—myself included—were left empty-handed. Which, I’ll admit, didn’t feel great. I made the mistake of making eye contact with another girl, Izzy, who hadn’t received a rose, and she gave me this look like, who needs a boyfriend or secret admirer, right? I just smiled politely and went back to my book.
Ms. Ramirez ushered the cheerleaders out of the room and was about to close the door behind them when another cheerleader popped her head in the room.
“Wait!” she said. “I have one more!”
Curiously, I glanced up to see Meg Larson, one of Tiana’s and Hannah’s friends, enter the room with an entire bouquet of a dozen red roses in her hands.
Whoa. Somebody had gone above and beyond for their girl.
And their girl was…
Me.
Meg made her way over to me and handed me the bouquet. “Here. These are for you.”
My jaw dropped as I took them from her; my cheeks burning as the whole class had turned to look at me. “Seriously?”
“Yep.” She nodded.
Dylan. They had to be from Dylan. Elijah would have ordered me sunflowers instead—and besides, he was just about the last person who would want to be sending me flowers right now.
Despite the fact everyone was still watching me, I snatched the little card out of the center of the bouquet to read it. I had to know if it was from Dylan.
To my bae, boo, babe, baby, and pretend mother of my pretend daughter, the card read. Happy Valentine’s Day from your ‘true love’. - D
My heart swelled at the fact Dylan had sent me these roses. It meant he still cared. It meant there was a good chance he would wait for me like I was going to wait for him. But then my heart sank when I realized the orders for the roses were supposed to have been in by the beginning of last week. Which meant he’d ordered them before I broke up with him.
These flowers didn’t mean anything now. They were nothing but a reminder of what I had given up.
“Thank you,” I mumbled to Meg as I stuck the card back into the bouquet.
“Well, looks like somebody has quite a fan,” Ms. Ramirez commented brightly as Meg made her exit from the room. “Cassie, if you’d like to keep those on my desk until the end of class, feel free. Otherwise, you’ll have no space on your own desk to take the quiz.”
She was right; there was no room on my desk to put them, and I certainly wasn’t going to set them on the floor. As I picked them up and brought them to the front of the class, I could feel a few sets of envious eyes following me; some of them even belonging to girls who had received single roses.
If only they knew there was nothing to be envious of.
After class, Lauren was waiting for me right outside the door, and she gasped when she saw the bouquet in my hands.
“Whoa!” She reached out and touched one of them with a look of awe on her face. “Are these from—”
“Yep.”
“Oh.” She grinned. “Wait, does that mean—”
“It means he put the order in last week, before we broke up. So, it means nothing.”
; Lauren pouted. “Oh. I’m sorry, Cassie.”
“Whatever,” I said with a shrug. “I’m going to enjoy them anyway. I’m sure it’s what he wants.”
“Definitely.” She glanced around the hallway. “Where is he today, anyway? Playing hooky again?”
“Probably,” I mumbled. The last time Dylan ditched school was because he was upset over what was going on with his parents. There was a good chance he was ditching school again because it was Valentine’s Day. He probably didn’t want to see me walking around with the roses he’d ordered while we were still together.
I couldn’t blame him. I might have done the same thing.
“I should thank him, though. Right?” I asked Lauren. “I mean, he hasn’t said a word to me all week, but it would be rude if I didn’t at least send a text, don’t you think?”
“You should definitely thank him,” Lauren replied with a nod. “He must have spent a fortune on these.”
“Okay. I’m texting him.” I handed the bouquet to Lauren as I pulled out my phone.
Got your roses, I typed. They’re beautiful. Thank you so much.
I turned off my phone and was about to return it to my backpack, but then I thought, was that text enough? Should I have also sent another one, checking to see if he was feeling okay? Should I have asked if he was going to the dance tomorrow?
Lauren must have noticed the conflict on my face because she gently reached out, grabbed the phone from my hand and put it away for me.
“Start with that text,” she advised. “If he texts back, feel free to respond. You don’t want to come across as desperate, nor do you want to lead him on by lighting up his phone every few seconds.”
I swallowed and nodded as I took the roses back. “Right. You’re right. I’ll only respond if he responds.”
Lauren patted me on the head as we took off down the hallway. “Good girl.”
But by the end of the day, Dylan hadn’t responded. Not that there was any reason for him to. What would he have said? You’re welcome—I just wish I could have canceled the order and gotten my money back? Even if that was what he was thinking, he would never actually say that.
He was too nice.
He was too perfect.
I didn’t deserve the roses.
And I most definitely didn’t deserve him.
◆◆◆
“Oh, sweetie, you look beautiful!” Mom exclaimed from the doorway to my bedroom.
I couldn’t help but snort at that. There was no way I looked beautiful. My entire head of hair was in hair rollers, I’d barely put the first layer of makeup on my face yet, and I was wearing a ratty old bathrobe that I kept meaning to replace.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said anyway.
Mom glanced down at her watch. “Are you running a little behind? Aren’t Lauren and her date supposed to be here any minute?”
I nodded. Lauren and Jake were picking me up and we were all going to Winter Formal together. I was running behind because, until just about an hour ago, I wasn’t even sure I was going. I didn’t want to, but I knew it meant a lot to Lauren, and she was probably right about me regretting it if I didn’t go. So, once I had made my final decision, I started rushing around to get ready, and now I was way behind schedule.
At least Winter Formal wasn’t as big of a deal as the Prom.
“Would you like some help?” Mom asked.
“No, thanks. I’m just going to put on a little more makeup, throw on the dress, and free my hair from these torture tubes.” I motioned to the rollers.
“I’ll have you know, I used to sleep in rollers like that,” she said.
“Good for you,” I teased. “Oh, actually, if you want to help out, could you look in your closet and see if you have a pair of heels that would go with my dress? I never thought to look for matching shoes.”
Mom looked pleased to be given the opportunity to help. “I will find you the perfect pair, I promise. I won’t let you down.”
I chuckled as she bolted from the doorway. I had total faith that she would be able to complete her mission with no problem. My parents’ bedroom had two closets: one large walk-in closet, and one smaller one that Mom dedicated solely to her shoe collection. And two-thirds of that collection was high heels.
Mom had never met a pair of heels she didn’t love.
While I waited, I went back to applying my makeup. I had just started on the mascara when I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye, and I glanced back over to my doorway to see Caitlyn standing there.
We hadn’t really talked to each other since she called me a bitch the previous week. I was mad at her, she was mad at me, and I guess we had just come to an unspoken agreement to give each other the silent treatment.
Until now.
“What’s up, Caity?” I asked her.
“Not much.” She shrugged her shoulders and stared down at the floor.
“Do you want to come in?”
“Nah, you’re busy,” she mumbled.
“I’m just putting on makeup.” I waved her in. “Here, you can watch me. Maybe learn a thing or two.”
Caitlyn made a face as she entered my room and flopped onto my bed. She recently declared she would never wear makeup because she wanted people to focus on her inner beauty, not her outer beauty. It was an admirable stance to have, but I predicted she would change her mind by the time she got to high school.
“Are you excited for the dance?” she asked quietly.
I returned to applying my mascara. “No, not really.”
“Then why are you going?”
“Because I already had the dress.”
Caitlyn snickered. “That’s a dumb reason.”
I glanced over my shoulder with a smirk. “It is, isn’t it?”
We stared at each other for a moment before we both started giggling. I was relieved that our silent treatment appeared to be over. Caitlyn and I didn’t always get along, and I would forever think of her as my annoying little sister, but I loved her, and I enjoyed spending time with her.
Her giggling slowly faded, and her smile was replaced with a frown. “Look, Cassie, I’m sorry about what I said to you last week. I didn’t really mean it.”
“I know.”
“I was just upset.”
“I know.”
“But not as upset as you were, obviously,” she said with a sigh. “I know you didn’t really want to break up with Dylan. I know you only did it for the right reasons.”
I scoffed. “More like what I thought were the right reasons.” I set the tube of mascara down and spun around in my chair to face her. “Caitlyn, when you meet and fall in love with a boy someday, promise me you won’t make the same dumb decisions I have. If you two want to be together, don’t let anything stop you. Don’t let anything get in between you and your happy ending.”
She considered it for a moment and then nodded. “Okay. I promise.”
The doorbell rang downstairs and I groaned. Pushing back my chair, I said to Caitlyn, “That’s probably Lauren and Jake. Can you go answer the door and send Lauren up here?”
“Yeah, sure,” she said, sliding off my bed.
“And do you think maybe you could keep her date company for a few minutes while I finish getting ready?”
Caitlyn’s face lit up. “Sure! I’ll ask if he watches Baker’s Dozen, and if he doesn’t, I’ll tell him all about it.”
I laughed. “Lucky guy.”
Once Caitlyn was gone, I quickly disrobed and stepped into my dress. I had it pulled all the way up by the time Lauren appeared in front of me.
“Omigosh, Cassie, that dress looks even better on you now than it did when you bought it,” she gushed.
“Thanks,” I said. I turned my back to her. “Would you mind zipping me up?”
“Sure.”
My light gray chiffon dress was simple yet elegant, with its beaded top, halter neckline, and flowy skirt that hit just above the knee. I had fallen in love with the dress as soon as I saw
it; it would have been a waste to never wear it.
“What are you wearing for shoes?” Lauren asked.
“I don’t know yet. My mom’s picking out a pair right now.” I looked Lauren up and down. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”
Lauren’s choice of dress was a little bolder than mine: bright red with a V-neck and spaghetti straps, and a hemline that was a few inches above the knee. Her hair, which she normally wore up in a ponytail, was cascading down her back in a mass of beautiful waves.
“Thank you,” she said with a curtsy.
“You’re welcome.” I spun around. “Are you sure this looks okay?”
“More than okay; you look like a freaking goddess.” She paused as her eyes shot up to the top of my head. “I mean, you will after the rollers are out of your hair.”
“I’m just going to give them a couple more minutes,” I said. I sat back down and grabbed my lipstick. “I still have to finish my makeup anyway.”
Lauren nodded, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. “You know, as I was coming upstairs, I could hear Caitlyn asking Jake about that cooking show she likes so much.”
I just smirked and shook my head.
“Knock, knock,” said a deep voice from the hallway. I glanced up to see my dad peering into my bedroom.
His gaze traveled between me and Lauren and he smiled. “Wow. You two look so beautiful. So grown up.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
As I finished putting on my lipstick, he stepped into the room, holding out his cell phone as though he were going to take a picture.
“Say cheese!”
Lauren leaned over to me with a big grin on her face and a thumbs-up as she said, “Cheese!” I, on the other hand, had no time to even smile before the flash went off.
“Dad!” I scolded him. “I wasn’t ready! And I still have rollers in my hair!”
Dad admired the photo he had just taken with a sappy smile on his face. “I don’t care. My little girl is beautiful, with or without rollers.”
“Ugh.” I stood from my desk and smoothed out my dress. “Can you at least come back in a minute and take another one when my hair has been styled properly?”
