A mechomart! Which was exactly what I wanted. This was an all-day and all-night shopping mall, completely automated, with never another human being in sight-if you didn’t count the customers. There were a few of them and I stayed out of their way. Which was easy enough to do since they pointedly ignored each other as they loaded up on beer and groceries. I bypassed them and probed the inner shopping walkways, which were now completely silent and deserted. But as I approached, motion detectors sensed my approach and switched on their amplified appeals. I ignored the shouted appeals to buy shoes, furniture, dildoes, books, vibrators and weight-reduction pills; all the necessities of our modern society.
“Buy my suit!” a mannequin in a window shouted as I walked.
“Buy me…” a sexbot whispered seductively from the depths of a pink bed.
“Win credits on the lottery!”
“Get drunk quicker and stay drunk longer than you ever imagined with SkunkDrunk, the intravenous alcohol drip!”
“Talk as you go—” That was it!
The holodisplay swirled with color and phone shapes. I punched my way through the commands until I found a portable phone small enough to fit in my shirt pocket. I poked coins into the money slot, then more credit notes for a lot of connection time in advance. Finally the screen lit up with a rainbow of light, a brass band played a short fanfare and a smarmy voice said, “Thanks good buddy-you’ve been a great customer!”
The phone finally rattled into the basket; I grabbed it up and left. To find a dark doorway to make my calls. I worked the directory until I got the right number, punched it in.
“Welcome to the galaxy famous Colosseo. Now featuring the incredible Bolshoi’s Big Top. If you wish to contact the box office for advance ticket sales press one. If you wish… ”
I pressed until my thumb was sore, working my way through menu after menu until I finally got the number I wanted. The phone rang a long time until a sleepy voice answered.
“Do you know what time of the night it is?”
“I do, Gar-and wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t an emergency. Your great-aunt Matilda is ill and at death’s door. For more information would you please call this number.. .” The silence stretched out-then he spoke.
“Wait a second, I have to find a stylo.”
Done! Gar Goyle was no longer in the Special Corps-but he hadn’t forgotten the Matilda code. And had responded with the Stylo countersign. It was simplicity itself. If an agent thought that a phone number had been compromised, tapped into or no longer safe, he would use a sentence with Matilda in it. After that the phone number would be given-with the last four numbers being one digit too high. If they were four, seven, zero, nine, the transcriber would write them down as five, eight, one, zero. Simple and foolproof. I rung off and started walking back to the warehouse.
Gar must have had as much trouble finding an unvandalized phone as I had had. I was almost back to the warehouse before the phone bleeped.
“Is that you, Marvell?”
“Yes. I am sure that a certain illegal party has bugged all the phones at the Colosseo-keep that in mind. Is Megalith Man back yet?”
“No. Should he be?”
“I’m not sure. He was safe when I left him, but we were out in the boonies and he had no transportation.” I looked at my watch. “Tell him to call me from a safe phone at noon. If he doesn’t return until after that, tell him to try again at midnight. And keep doing that until we make contact. Do you read?”
“I read, “ he said and hung up.
That was all that I could do. Bolivar in his Megalith Man outfit might find it more than a little difficult to get back to the circus. But as long as Chaise or the police hadn’t found him I knew that he could do it.
I hoped. “No-know he is safe and will get back!” I shouted out loud to build my morale a bit. Went and let myself back into the building. Igor was still out and still snoring. I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to emulate his good example.
I awoke cursing. My dimwit companion was kicking at the bed. Then he moved fast enough so my swinging fist missed him.
“Got orders. We gotta go. North, that’s good. Boss came by. This for you. Go north.” He almost smiled. I did not question him: I would find out soon enough why north was good. I picked up the package and read the label on the side.
MASK-A-RAID on one side. On the other, FOOL. YOUR FRIENDS. I opened it and looked at the’ face inside. It was no one I knew. Which, I imagine, was the whole idea. A mask of pseudoflesh with operating instructions. How to stick it to my face. How to keep it in working order. How to feed it. Apparently it lived on chicken soup rich with nutrients. A can of soup and a funnel were included in the package.
It worked a wonder. A different me stared back out of the cracked mirror. Well, at least I did not have to worry about the police anymore. Chaise was enough to keep my worrier going full time.
I had a bit of an appetite, but when I watched Igor chomp down two greasy servings of octopus nuggets, all thoughts of food vanished, And I wished, not for the first time, that I could do with a less disgusting roommate. I skipped breakfast.
We kicked our crew of robots to electronic life and rolled them aboard the truck. Then Igor added one item that I found very interesting. A portable battery charger that he plugged into the truck’s electrical system. Which meant that we would not be returning this night. I wondered just where in the north we would be.
We trundled through the morning traffic until we reached the tollway. This was filly automated and switched the truck over to autocontrol as soon as we left the slipway. We speeded up until we were exactly ten meters behind another truck. We stayed there with machinelike precision. With the tollway doing all the driving, Igor fell instantly asleep. I watched the dismal industrial landscape slide by—and timed the service areas. One appeared every half an hour. Very organized.
It was just ten minutes to noon when I killed the road control and turned off the tollway. A loud siren sounded; Igor woke in a panic and wrested back control of the truck. Pulled over and braked to a juddering stop.
“You try kill us!”
“No. I just wanted to stop.”
“Stop? Why stop?”
“Rest stop stop. Little boys’ room.”
“What little boy?”
“Pee, you moron.”
“Yeh, pee.” His eyes rolled up as he took a bladderpressure test. “Yeah.” We went inside.
I kept an eye on my watch, finished and exited the rest room before he did.
“Where you going?”
“Food. See you back at the truck.”
He was suspicious but there was nothing he could do about it. I waited until I saw him head for the parking area. Ten minutes to noon. Just enough time to punch in the vending machine for a kafinkola—I was still tired from the night before-and a high-energy beanwich. I sat in a booth in back, eating and slurping and watching the door.
My phone rang exactly at noon.
“Bolivar?”
“None other. “
“Tell me-no don’t!” Igor had suddenly appeared and was coming in the door. “Give me your number, be ready to take a call at midnight.”
I crouched down in the booth, put my finger in my drink and wrote his phone number out in wet figures of kafinkola on the tabletop. Had the phone back in my pocket an instant before my companion in crookery popped into sight.
“No time. Gotta go.”
“Go, go, here I come.” Memorizing the number as I stood up.
Things got better the farther north we went. The mills, mines and factories gave way to automated farms. It was nice to see a bit of greenery. Then trees, more and more of them until the road was cutting a wide swath through virgin forest. A tunnel ahead dived under rolling hills-to emerge above a coastal plain bordered by a blue sea. I was beginning to see why Igor thought the north was good.
The first of the homes appeared, most of them sprawling mansions. Even the verges of the payway were landscaped
now.
“Bosses live here?” I asked.
The. answering grunt sounded positive. Top and bottom in this polarized society-with very little in the middle I was sure. We took the first exit, found a high-tech industrial estate hidden by trees from view of the road. Igor had obviously been here before. He worked his way through the numbered drives to the rear of an isolated unit. The sun shone warmly on a patch of grass and an umbrella-shaded table. And shone as well on Chaise, who was sipping from a frosted glass.
“You look disgusting,” he said when I swung down from the truck. He was right. My unshaven face was beginning to itch under the, living mask. My eyes were gritty and an interesting shade of red. After being soaked with rain my once fancy dress was not fancy at all.
“About Angelina—”
“I shall tell you nothing,” he snarled. Under that that flintlike exterior beat an even more flintlike heart. “You are my employee and will do exactly what I order you to do. Events need speeding up.” He threw a cashcard on the table before me. “There is a mechomart in rollway fourteen. Get some clothes, smart dressy clothes, dipshave, soap, you know what. This is not Fettorscoria. I want you looking exactly like everyone else here so the police don’t get curious. This is the finest residential site on the entire planet. When you buy the clothes, think rich. And try not let anyone see you dressed like that. You are completely out of place here. The police routinely stop and search anyone who looks out of place. Let us not forget that the police are still looking for you. If they catch you remember that you are not the only one who will be in jeopardy.”
Was there any point in arguing?
Flower-bordered walkways cut between the various commercial units. I noted the numbers and made my way to rollway fourteen. A few vehicles hummed down the roads between the units and I made sure that they didn’t see me. A couple were in the mechomart buying wine. I slipped by them and made it to the clothing section, where I bought a lightweight sports jacket which I put on. I started to discard my tuxedo jacket, thought better of it. It was the kind of clue the police would just love to find. I finished the rest of my purchases, bought a hold-all to hold everything, and retraced my steps.
When I returned with my purchases the truck was gone and, blissfully, so was Igor. I started to talk, but Chaise waved me to silence. “Clean yourself up first. I find your present presence as revolting as that of Igor.” I was in total agreement. “In there.” He pointed to a doorway of an office, at the end of the building. The legend on the door read CHAFUKA INVESTMENT SERVICES. Another of Kaia’s enterprises?
There was a residential suite behind the office with a single bed. I took my face off, had a relaxing hot shower, followed by an invigorating cold one. Washed clean, shaved close, and dressed sportily I felt eminently better. I rinsed the dust off of my new face and put it back on. On my way out I passed a small and well-stocked bar that tempted me sorely. I did not resist. I strolled out with a tinkling glass to find my employer, joined him at the table. He looked me up and down and nodded approval.
“Any more banks you want me to rob?” I said sourly.
“No. Something bigger than that. What do you know about the atomic generation of electricity?”
“I can trustfully say very, very little. I turn the switch on the wall and the lights come on.”
He threw some blueprints across the table to me. “Keep these. I will have more material for you soon. This particular problem is still in an early stage. We will talk about it later. Meanwhile you have a more pressing assignment. Not a single bank-but a single source of supply to a number of banks. You are going to take the armored van that distributes the cash to all the banks in this city. You have two days’ time to work out exactly how it is to be done. The next day after that is deposit day, when the van will be fully loaded with credits to distribute to the local banks.”
“And what exactly is your plan?”
There was not an iota of humor in his smile. “I told you, work it out for yourself. I have absolutely no idea how it can be done. You are the expert, so you devise the robbery.” He took a projector from his pocket and slid it across the table to me. “Here are all details of pickup and delivery times, route, vehicle, drivers, everything you might want to know. I personally think that it is impossible to do. With all that information I have never been able to work out a plan for a successful robbery. I will be very interested in your solution to the problem.”
“And if I can’t find a way to do it?”
He pointed to the black watch like object on his wrist, at the silver button set into its center. “I have only to touch this twice and you will never see your wife again. You will not know if she is dead or alive, taken to another planet, imprisoned here or just what. You will never know. She will just be gone.
I think you had better get to work. I have things to take care of, and won’t be back until tomorrow. You will sleep here.”
“There’s only the one bed. Do I have to share it with Igor?” That was a singularly repulsive thought.
“No. He sleeps in the truck. He prefers it that way.”
“So do L”
He finished his drink, put it down and started to leave. Turned back. “Don’t do anything that you-and your wife will regret.”
I sipped my drink and I am pretty sure that my expression did not change. Particularly since I was wearing a new face. But at that moment I knew that I not only had to get Angelina out of this predicament-but I had to stop Kaia’s clock as well. I must put him out of business, bring him down, ruin him or worse. I promised myself that.
“Hungry … “ the thin voice said. Just at the edge of audibility. I looked around, but I was still alone. Then I heard it again-and realized what it was. Before I did anything else I was going to have to feed my face. Literally. I put it into the bathroom sink and got out the funnel. Then opened the can of chicken soup.
With this task out of the way I could get down to work and plan the robbery. “A piece of cake,” I said, reaching for the projector.
An hour later I was beginning to regret the rashness of my promise. The van was armed and armored, sealed, gas proofed. With a two-way radio. All of its many alarms automatically radioed in to the police if they were set off. The driver and the two other men were all heavily armed. The thing even had radiation proofing in case someone tried to nuke it. Chaise was gone, I was on my own. He would return in the morning and expect some answers. It was getting late, the sun was setting, I was feeling thick-headed and stupid. I ran through the data just one more time. The crime was impossible.
“Impossible!” I shouted and went to the bar for another Silurian Slivovitz. “Not even magic could get into that thing.”
Some blurred minutes passed until I blinked and realized that I had poured the entire bottle into my glass, poured it out and over my hand and it was soaking into the rug. I put the bottle and glass down. Because I was nibbling at the very periphery of an idea.
No guns, bombs, blasts, violence. Magic!
Chapter 15
Oh dear maestro, good great Grissini, blessed be thy name, peaceful and alcoholic may your retirement years be. For you taught me your skills—and, more important, taught me to look at the world with a magical eye. To turn reality on its head. To question everything, to misdirect and deceive. Make an armored car vanish? Why not? Size did not matter. But illusion did. If it could be done with a porcuswine—why not with a vehicle? The illusion supports and enriches the trick. When it is done properly, magic is the most effective persuader of all since it is they, the audience, who are actually persuading themselves.
I raided the office for paper and began drawing up the illusion to end all illusions. A few hours later I had most of the details roughed out-but I kept waking up with my face lying on the desk, snoring. Enough! I knew what had to be done, the overall concept was clear. I could work out all of the details in the morning after a good night’s sleep. I set my alarm, stumbled towards the bed and crashed.
In my dr
eams a large insect had alighted on my arm, sat there buzzing and sinister. Opened its jaws wide and buzzed even louder
I awoke, yawning broadly, and turned off the alarm. Tenminutes to midnight. I splashed cold water on my face then slipped out into the street away from the buildings. There were too many bugs and detectors on this planet to take chances. I knew that my employer had already made good use of them. This place was probably thickly bugged. I stood in the middle of the road and phoned Bolivar.
And let the phone ring twenty times before I gave up.
“Don’t worry, Jim,” I reassured myself. “Something came up, he couldn’t get to the phone. He’s a tough lad—he’s all right. Try again in twelve hours.” Despite all this, still exhausted, I had trouble getting back to sleep.
By the time Chaise arrived in the morning I had worked all of the details out. I had made a diagram of the construction, as well as printing out a list of all the materials that I would need. I slid the printout sheets across the table to him.
“Here is a list of everything that I will need to set the trap. The sooner I get all of it the sooner you will get your armored truck.”
He flipped through the pages, growing more perplexed all the time.
“What is all this? Seven hundred and fifty square meters of microwave-oven screening? Four multi-megawatt holo projectors—alight truck-plywood-aluminum powder-iron filings-what are you going to do with all this?”
“Perform the heist of the century. Now you can get it for me—or we can sit here talking about it. In which case we won’t be able to finish in time. Over to you.”
His eyes did a good job of boring holes into my skull. I blew on my fingernails, then buffed them on my shirt. I won the waiting game.
“If you are just playing games with me, diGriz …”
The Stainless Steel Rat Joins the Circus ssr-11 Page 14
