But no, that can’t be true. I know how I feel about him, and I know how he feels about me. Prophecy or not, we fell in love. I can’t disregard what we have just because I’m wary of it all. In a way, I’m surprised by my thoughts…I didn’t even know I could be this cynical.
I replay the night we met in my head, and suddenly, every piece clicks into place. Everyone’s reaction makes sense. Now I get why everyone was so excited to meet me when they heard my name.
“Everyone knew. Your sister. Your parents. Everyone knew the whole time I have been here,” I say, matter-of-factly.
“They’ve known for years. It was almost an inside joke between us. Your name represented the woman I was probably never going to meet and obsess over the rest of my life. You were a mythological creature that was never going to materialize. For the record, I tried to find the fortune teller years ago, but she’d moved away.”
“Shocking.” I can’t contain the sarcasm in my voice.
“Unfortunately for me, no matter what I did, no matter who I met, I always had that woman’s words in the back of my head. Every single time a relationship ended, or when things with Reagan would get ugly once more, I told myself it was because the fortune teller was right, and it wasn’t meant to be. It was because none of those women were right for me. It was because I was waiting to meet you, Ines.”
If I believe everything he’s told me so far—and I really want to—that would explain why I’ve felt the kind of pull I’ve felt for him since the beginning. It would all make sense, right? However, the rational part of me refuses to believe. This can’t be. I can’t let myself believe this is the truth. I can’t let myself believe that a man I didn’t know at all six months ago has been waiting for me his entire life. My brain refuses to let me accept Esteban has been waiting to meet me since he was seventeen years old.
This sounds like some Twilight shit, and I can’t take it, even though I love Twilight.
“Breathe, Ines,” he cautions, and only then do I realize I’ve been holding my breath. How very Bella of me. “For the love of God, please say something.”
“I don’t know what to say.” I pause. “This whole time I’ve been trying to make sense of why I was so crazy about you since the beginning, why I ached to see you again. But now I know the truth…and I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know how to wrap my head around it.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“I believe you,” I reassure him. “I don’t know what to think about the whole thing though, mainly because it feels like it’s too much.”
“Too much?”
“In a good way?” I say, uncertain. The look he gives me breaks my heart. This is not the reaction he was hoping to get from me. “Y-you do know this is a bit too much to handle…which is why you haven’t told me until now, isn’t it?”
“Yes and…no. God, Ines. The night we met you were having one of the worst days of your life. I couldn’t say anything then, and how could I tell you the truth when you were trying to put your life back together? I couldn’t be the jerk to come into your life telling you this, like you owed me something. I realized after I met you that if the fortune teller was indeed right, and we were destined to be together, I would only have to wait a little bit longer. I had to wait for you to be ready. How would you’ve felt if I’d told you sooner, ‘hey, by the way, I know this sounds crazy, but I think you’re the girl I’ve been waiting for this whole time’? That would have freaked you out, wouldn’t it?”
I nod and look away, because I can’t take the uneasiness in his eyes. I’m hurting him, and I can’t stand it.
“I wanted to know if you were my Ines,” he adds, his voice so soft, tears prickle my eyes. “And you are. I have no doubt about it. I saw you even before I knew your name, remember?”
I do remember. I remember him looking at me before he came over to the table.
“You have to know how afraid I’ve been that I would ruin everything. Staying away from you at first was torture…and when we finally got together? I couldn’t get enough of you. I fell so hard…so fast.” He pauses, his eyes meet mine, and I nod in understanding, pursing my lips to hold back my tears.
“That’s how it’s been for me too,” I tell him, my voice gravelly and uneven.
He breaks eye contact, closes his eyes and licks his lips. My hands are still in his, warmed up by the heat of his skin.
“These months…they have been some of the happiest I’ve had,” he says, and I have to let him know that’s how I feel, too.
I lean in and press my lips to his, softly, taking him by surprise. My mouth lingers on his, and it’s the most contact I can handle right now. A touch of his tongue would probably make me come undone. Too many emotions fight to occupy the confines of my heart, and I can’t decide how I feel.
But I’m sure of one thing.
“I can’t remember if I’ve ever been as happy as I am with you,” I tell him, but my words aren’t enough to reassure him.
“Are you about to pack up and leave?” he asks. “Because for some reason, that’s what it feels like.”
I give his hands a squeeze. “I don’t want to run away from you, Esteban.” Not now. Not today. Maybe, not ever, if I can work through the shock of this. His gaze softens as he exhales. My hands release his, and his arms wrap around me. I let him embrace me. “But I have to be honest with you. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that I feel like I’ve just been bestowed with an enormous responsibility. You’ve been waiting for me your whole life. I didn’t know you were ever going to be in mine until a few months ago. I need some time to come to terms with this.”
“Do you believe what I told you? Do you believe we’re fated to be together?”
“Honestly? I want to believe, but right now I don’t know how. All I know is that I never would have imagined that you’d become part of my life, but I’m so happy you are. I want you to know how important you are to me. I know I love you, but I’m also confused, Esteban. Now more than ever. It would be stupid not to question things, wouldn’t it? Would you expect me to accept everything you just told me without questioning it a little?”
“No, I wouldn’t. You’re right to be suspicious. And you’re right to be mad I didn’t tell you sooner. I just didn’t know how…I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”
Nodding, I press my lips against his, trying to heal his wounded ego, and I’m soon lost to the passion of his kiss, unraveling me and dissipating the doubts my mind keeps feeding me. When we break apart, I have to catch my breath.
“What if the shoe was on the other foot? What would you do if a girl came to you and told you she’s been waiting for you her whole life? You’d be a little freaked out by it, wouldn’t you?” He considers my words for a moment and lets out a deep breath.
“I suppose I would.” He reaches for one of my hands and holds it in his. He brings it to his mouth and then places it over his heart.
“This is why you’ve always looked at me like this,” I tell him adoringly, cupping his jaw.
“Like what?” he asks sheepishly.
“Like I’m destined for you.”
“It’s more than just that. I don’t even know if I fully believed the prophecy this whole time…but the night you walked into my life? I knew there was something about you, even before I knew your name.”
“I knew it too.” He smiles at me, reassured by my words.
“After everything happened, when we got to talk that night, I knew I couldn’t miss my chance.”
“I was desperate to see you the whole time we were apart. I wanted to tell you for weeks, but I was too ashamed of it and I didn’t want to freak you out. You were all I could think about and I didn’t understand why.”
“It was the same for me, and I had to stay away from you, remember? I had to make sure you were ready to move on. And then I got to know you and fell in love with you, the real you.”
“I fell in love with you too…and everything has been so perfect since. Alm
ost…magical, in a way.” I laugh at my words.
“I know it’s hard for you to believe, but what else can I do? I love you. I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall for you the way I have, but it happened. I understand you’re confused, but prophecy or not, all I know is that you are my destiny and I have no choice but to wait for you to believe it too.”
My body is in California a few days later. But my mind? My mind stayed in New Mexico, along with my heart. My chest is heavy, and I’m conflicted about so many things.
It’s raining when I land in Los Angeles and everything plays like the sad part of a movie, before the hero and heroine are reunited. Are we going to be? Is there going to be a happily ever after? I don’t even know.
Things between Esteban and me have been slightly weird, and after the most recent revelations I’ve been holding back a little, but somehow, he doesn’t seem frustrated with me. He’s been trying to give me time and space to let me process what he told me. He knows better than to put more pressure on me when I have the divorce hearing in just a couple of days.
After that, I’ll have to box up everything I own and decide where my future will be.
Esteban told me to text him when I landed, so I do just that, and edit the text I send him to refrain from telling him I miss him already. I don’t want to give him false hope if I’m not one hundred percent convinced that I want to move permanently to Albuquerque and be with him.
We finally talked about it after he told me about the fortune teller.
He told me that of course he’d hoped I would want to move out there and be with him, but he hesitated to discuss it with me because he knew he had to tell me the whole truth first, and also because he wanted to make sure it was my decision alone.
“I love you,” he said last night before we parted ways, and even now the gravity and emotion in his voice echoes in my ears and my heart clenches, missing him even more.
“And I love you,” I replied to him. I held him tight to me and tears fell from my eyes. Just the thought of leaving him made me feel unsettled.
After I make it through arrivals, I take an Uber to Lily’s house. She opens the door and exclaims, “Darling! You’re here!” Then she kisses me on both cheeks, like a French girl. I frown, and she says, “You looked like you needed it. How’s Esteban?”
I sigh and explain everything, since I didn’t have a chance to do it over the phone.
She listens and gets incredibly excited hearing that Esteban and I might have been brought together not so much by chance but by fate, but then quiets down when I tell her I’m not sure what to think.
“What do you plan on doing?”
“I have no idea. I do like him…I love him, Lily. But now that I know everything I’m confused. I don’t know how I feel about all of this and I’m afraid I’ll end up hurting him. I don’t want that. I want to go back to him absolutely certain that it’s the right thing to do, you know?”
“I get it. You don’t want to let him down.”
“Your dad emailed me and said to meet him tomorrow for breakfast. Are you coming along?”
“Yep. It’ll be like old times, when you used to stay at our house. Only this time we’ll be discussing your divorce.” She makes a sympathetic face, and I groan.
“Har har. By the way, thank you for the hospitality.”
“Do you even have to say that? Are we friends or what?”
“You know you’re my best friend,” I tease her.
“Are you sure? What about Lupe? She sounds like she’s trying to replace me.” Lily cocks one suspicious eyebrow.
“Lupe is…a force of nature. She loves with all her heart. At first, she told Esteban to stay away from me because she knew I couldn’t possibly be ready to date, and then she nagged him to tell me the truth. However, I honestly believe she’ll have my head if I break her brother’s heart, so I better tread lightly.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
After a weekend of fun with Lily and discussing strategy with Richard, Monday comes entirely too soon. My heart has been heavy, not so much because of the hearing, but because I miss Esteban, even though I still have conflicting feelings about the fortune teller story. I don’t even know why I can’t get over it. Is it because I don’t want to accept that my destiny has been out of my control, just when I thought I was finally in charge of my life and my happiness?
I think about what I’d be doing in Albuquerque if this were a regular Monday. I left a half-finished portrait of Lupe I hadn’t been able to work on ever since Esteban told me the truth. Just as I think of him, his name shows up on the screen of my phone, bringing a smile to my face.
Esteban: Good luck today.
Me: Thank you. I miss you.
I text the words before I can help myself.
Esteban: I miss you too.
Seeing Brad outside the courtroom with his attorney is surreal, and I realize how much of a disadvantage I have. Brad has been in a courtroom plenty of times, while this is my first. He approaches me, wanting to chat before our hearing. We haven’t talked in months. He looks…strangely calm and on his best behavior.
Richard warns me. “If he just wants to clear his conscience that’s one thing, but make sure you engage in no talk about the proceedings.” I nod and join Brad a few feet away from my attorney, even though I’m appalled he wants to talk now. Forty-five minutes before our hearing.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
“Ines, I know it’s too little, too late, but I wanted to apologize.” I brace for a soppy speech about reconsidering the divorce and getting back together and how he’ll be a better husband, but he doesn’t go there. Thank God.
“It took me a long time, but I’ve finally come to terms that I’ve made my fair share of mistakes during our marriage. My mother convinced me to try therapy and it’s been…difficult. I’m not going to deny it, it’s been hard realizing that I haven’t been a good husband all these years. I’m sorry. It’s part of my therapy plan to apologize to those I mistreated and verbally abused. Obviously, you’re the one who suffered the most. Anyway, I want you to know I’m trying my hardest to be a better person and I’m sorry I wasn’t a better husband.”
I nod but remain silent because I can’t come up with anything to say.
We stare at each other for a minute. “I’m glad you’re trying to work through things.”
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asks out of the blue, making me frown.
“Why are you asking me that? Do you want to know if I’m on a dating app like you?” I reply a bit defensively. I have been completely mum on social media about seeing Esteban, and very few people know I haven’t lived in LA the last six months. There’s no way he’s heard from Lily, either. She wouldn’t tell him anything about me.
He shrugs. “No, nothing like that. I just saw you a while ago talking to Lily and thought you looked…different.”
“Different how?”
“Happier…despite where we are today, despite the fact that we’re here because we didn’t make it.” I listen for traces of bitterness in his voice, but I don’t detect any at all. Could Brad really be on the path to a better version of himself? And if so, why couldn't he realize it sooner? It doesn't matter anyway, because it’s not like I’m looking to go back and call the whole thing off.
“Look, it’s probably going to sound stupid, but you had this light in your eyes just a minute ago, kind of like when we first got together. It reminded me of how…” His voice breaks. “It reminded me of how we were in the beginning.”
I want to tell him many things, how part of me is still angry at him with how things went. I want to tell him I’m sorry we couldn’t fix our marriage before it broke irreparably, but I can’t bring myself to do that. He hurt me so much over the years, that even though I appreciate his words, I can’t even offer some parting grace to him.
“I am dating someone. It was…unexpected, but I’m happy. I’m doing good.” I study him, and he smiles uneasily, pu
rsing his lips.
“Are you going to stay in Albuquerque?”
Ask again later, I think to myself. I wonder why I randomly think of Magic 8-Ball answers when I don’t even own one?
“Probably,” I tell Brad.
“I hope he makes you really happy.”
“I hope so, too. Thank you. Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?”
“Yes, actually, there is. I’ll be out of town the next couple days, so you can move your stuff out. I’m having the locks replaced on Friday. If you need more time, let me know.”
And just like that, he’s back to business and we part ways. It seems hard to believe this was the man I shared my bed with for the last seven years. I look over my shoulder trying to find any trace of regret, but once again, I only feel relief. I’m sad that everything is so…cold and impersonal.
I miss Esteban and his warm embrace.
I’m in a daze when it’s our turn to stand in front of the judge.
“Remember, this is just a formality,” Richard reminds me. “There’s nothing to worry about.” Right, other than the dissolution of my marriage.
We follow protocol and then the judge asks us both a couple of generic questions and asks us if we want to add anything or if he can sign off.
“No, Your Honor. My client is satisfied with the terms of the parties’ current agreement.” Brad has been fairly generous. He knew better than to fight over our house, the only asset we share. He paid back my share and then some. And I already told him I’m leaving all the furniture. I’m only taking what is mine.
I don’t need to keep any reminders of my old life, especially not now.
As much as I’m uncertain about the future, I’ve never been readier to move forward.
Enchanted By You Page 20
