How?
Just how? How could he have been with her and then find me even remotely attractive? If he’d met me five years ago, I could have given her a run for her money. But right now, I was at my worst and so out of my league that it was laughable.
The doorbell jingled again and the room went silent, oddly, it didn’t feel like a good silence either. This was an atmospheric quiet that spoke volumes, people did not appear to be happy to see Ross, they weren’t clambering over tables to say hi. They seemed panicky and afraid.
Ross approached our table with his eyes firmly focused in my direction and before he could get a word in, Dolly jumped up and hugged him. “Well, well, well, what a surprise, it’s been a while big guy.”
“Dolly,” he smiled back at her with affection.
“You… you know I’m married now right? What are you doing here?” Neely asked him, flapping in a manner that would be funny if it wasn’t the least funny thing I’d seen in ages.
“Got the invite,” Ross replied, “and then I remember being disinvited too. So yeah, I know.”
Holy mother of God, what ever happened between the two of them? Ross wasn’t the winner, she’d married someone else and he wasn’t even a welcome guest to help them celebrate. Clearly they were big news and it was so serious that her husband felt threatened.
I felt my fairytale ending start to crack and crumble, all the crazy creative ways I’d imagined we’d beat the odds of my family so we could be together were futile. There was a tender look in his eyes when he looked at her and it broke me. I couldn’t compete with the feelings he clearly once felt for her and possible still had. Years of practice at remaining stoically calm in the face of danger was once again coming in handy. I’d play it cool until I could make a graceful exit. My first chance at happiness, at something I wanted so bad and I was just his consolation prize, his second option because the first didn’t play out for him. “Babe, stop daydreaming and get over here,” I heard.
“What’s going on?” Jack asked.
“Fuck Cara, what’s working in your head? Come here.” Ross asked me again and I found it harder to move than ever before. My insides were screaming for me to keep up the pretence, whilst my defeated heart just wanted to give up.
For good.
“Whys he here again? And why is he calling Cara babe?” Jake then asked no one in particular. The whole coffee shop was still quiet, it seemed the new girl and the unwelcome return of Ross had caused quite a stir. Realizing I was the centre of attention and exactly the wrong place for me, a woman supposedly in hiding, I pushed back my chair to move.
The doorbell jingled again and like everyone else I looked to see who it was, hearing Lottie say, “Uh oh,” was not as unexpected as it seemed unwelcome. Neely went white as a sheet as Dolly began to join in the girl group who were now visibly twitchy with the latest newcomer.
“Chris,” Ross grunted, offering him a chin lift.
“Don’t fuckin’ greet me. I told you what would happen if you ever came here again,” the hot, yet very angry looking cowboy replied. It was once again not lost on me that another dish of the day had arrived. More building blocks cemented the picture and truth forming when Neely moved like lightening to get in between them. This would be her husband then. I knew I should be doing something, but all I could think was, yeah he’s cute, but no contest, Ross everytime.
“Not good, not good,” Dolly stressed, rapidly pushing buttons on her cell phone. It was then that I noticed Lottie doing the same, “Jo’s place now. Karma kick off,” was what she said into the handset.
It was clear that things between Ross and Neely must have been serious to cause this much panic amongst the locals.
“You’ll get one shot Chris and then this shit is over,” Ross told the cowboy, slowing raising his palms, gesturing peace and surrender.
“I owe you a fuck of a lot more,” he snarled back.
“I’m not here for this and I don’t have the fuckin’ time either Chris,” Ross spat back.
The door flew open again as a suited and booted GQ centre fold walked in and pushed Neely to one side, taking her place. “Calm the fuck down. This is ridiculous. Do I need to call the sheriff?” he asked both of them.
“Already on route,” shouted the attractive older woman behind the counter, she didn’t seem as bothered as the rest, well I assumed so anyway, someone elbow deep in dishwater didn’t come across as stressed to me. More like this was an everyday occurrence.
I’d seen enough.
I was stupid to dream of any kind of future any way, I didn’t have one. I was a toe tag away from the heaven Vs hell judgment call as it was.
There was so much I didn’t know about Ross and my naivety to believe that this was more than a job to him was both innocent and stupid.
The fight began, I saw Chris throw one punch around Mr. GQ and any guy in range then surged forward to contain the spread of the battle zone. In a move so polar opposite, most of the females made a sensible decision to retreat and give them room, content to let it play out.
I was going to give them room, lots of it, miles and miles of it. A whole geographic state of room. I rose from my chair and walked towards the counter, “Rest room please? No, forget that, back door?”
“Of course, escape the drama, good idea. I just wish I could,” she commented and grabbed a dish towel whilst leading the way. I opened the door to an alley and had no idea where I was going. I’d hidden before, I could do it again and thankfully I’d learned more survival skills for the next round. Having more preparation this time should make this easier and if it wasn’t for my breaking heart I’m sure it would feel that way.
A huge Ford truck came barreling down the alley and screeched to a halt in front of me, I quickly looked around for somewhere to hide as Jonas unfolded out of the driver’s side. “Fuck!” I heard whistle through his teeth, “Where are you going Cara. You were supposed to stay in public.”
“Anywhere. Not here. I’m not watching them fight over…”
“Do me a favor and wait in the truck,” it came across as an instruction not a request.
“I think it’s best if I leave.”
Jonas could tell I was bolting and moved towards me, “It’ll take me just a minute and then I’ll drive you where ever you want to go.”
I couldn’t turn down a free ride out of town, I was starting again and out of options. “OK.”
I heard the clink of metal before I’d even sat my butt on the passenger seat, “Hey!”
“Sorry honey, it’s for your own safety. You can’t be running off on your own. Too fuckin’ dangerous. I won’t be long. Gotta go help Oli break up the party before the sheriff arrives.” Jonas shut the door on me and ran to the same back door I’d just walked through.
I tried everything I could think of over the next thirty seconds, but short of biting my own thumb off or hulking out and ripping the steering wheel clean off, I was going nowhere.
“Fuck!” I shouted, I hated cursing and I’d been raised to believe that ladies don’t swear. Realizing I’d let my potty mouth get the better of me, I began to slam the dashboard with my free hand.
All that training, it wasn’t worth shit when I’d been hoodwinked by a huge man with handcuffs.
Looks like I wasn’t running away anytime soon.
Chapter Twenty Six
*****
Ross
“Jesus fuck, it’s like being at home with the girls. You two are like children, grow the fuck up,” barked Jonas. He stormed into the café looking like the Jonas I used to know, the one from his navy days, very unimpressed.
“Uh, honey who has the girls?” Dolly asked him.
“I’ve thrown them at Barbara, literally. Take your motor and get ‘em. My truck is fuckin’ occupied. This shit done?” he said looking in my direction.
“I didn’t have a problem in the beginning, although I do remember asking you to smooth the way brother.”
Jonas started shaking his hea
d, “I figured you’d both be over it, seeing as he’s married and you’re taken.”
“He’s taken?” questioned Neely. It was then that I remembered Cara was here and witness to all of this.
“Where’s Cara gone? Where’s my fuckin’ woman?” I roared. I couldn’t believe she’d run again, whilst I was busy fucking around with this nonsense, she’d slipped away.
“Cara’s with you?” Jack enquired.
“Yeah and if I see you look at her like she’s fair game again I won’t be tryin’ to work as hard at remainin’ calm.”
“For fuck’s sake, are we done?” Jonas asked again impatiently. “Your woman is in my car and she’s gonna be pissed, so pull it together.”
I had to make things right with Chris and Neely, this shit was in the past and I needed Jonas on board to help me. Chris was his best friend and Jonas didn’t possess the time or patience to be playing peace maker. “Chris, we need to sort this out. I’m here on business, my woman is in trouble. Knowin’ what I’m feelin’ right now helps me understand what I put you through with Cortez. I apologized before, but this time I mean it so please accept it.” I stick my hand forward and the room held its collective breath with anticipation as Chris looked at Neely. It seemed she wanted this over with too.
“OK. This is done. I don’t have to like you though. I guess I did get the girl though,” he conceded smugly. It was finally done, the slate had been wiped clean and as ever, it was that simple with guys. You either punched it out until someone won or you got the fuck over it quickly.
“Chris, I need a ride home,” Jonas grunted, indicating to both him and Neely that he meant now.
Before she finally left our gathering she leaned into me and kissed my cheek, whispering, “If she doesn’t treat you right I’ll be… displeased.”
“Whatever. Later Neely.”
At the last minute Jonas whistled for my attention and chucked a set of keys at me, “You’ll be needing these.”
“Handcuff keys? Jo, what the fuck did you do?”
“My guess is she’s like a typical woman and been over thinking what she saw go down in here. Either way, I think you’ve got your work cut out for you.”
“Shit,” I wanted a sweet reunion, not an argument and then make up sex.
“I’ll sort your dad out, see you later. The keys to the cabin on my land are on the truck key chain. Later.” Jonas left and I steeled myself for some bitch ass chewing from my woman.
I didn’t need a psychology degree to sense the mood she was in, I could see it pouring off her, storming around the insides of the trucks cabin. Nothing for it, I opened the door and reached for the heavy bracelet on her wrist, “Baby,” was all I managed to get out.
“Don’t. Just don’t,” she said dead pan, rubbing her wrist and shrugging her shoulder.
“Let’s go somewhere and talk,” I started the engine and hit the reverse gear.
“I’d rather not. If you could take me to get my bag.”
What the fuck. Did she actually think that was going to happen and whilst she was in danger to? I had to put some of this crap to rest, she had to stop running and I definitely needed to feel like I wasn’t the only one fighting for us. “If that’s what you want,” I told her and she drew in a shocked lungful of air. From the corner of my eye I could see her bottom lip start to quiver, she was playing a very dangerous game if she didn’t want this to be over.
Driving through town to Jonas’s ranch I gripped the steering wheel tight, mind games were never easy. I could feel her try to pull herself together and remain in control. This was what her life had always been like, disappointment yet not allowed to acknowledge that you’re feeling it. Hurt, but never, ever allowed to show it. Using all your concentration to act emotionless when you felt the complete opposite.
If I could convince her to put her faith in me, then I’d bust my fucking balls to make sure she never felt those things again.
I pulled up next to the cabin that Jonas lived in whilst his family ranch was being built and climbed out. “Get out of the damn truck Cara,” I told her, taking the keys with me.
“You said you were taking me back to Jonas and Dolly’s,” she looked at me all confused.
“We kind of are, but if you think you’re runnin’ again then you’re mistaken. We’re gonna talk until you see that runnin’ is no longer an option in your playbook anymore.”
“I don’t want to talk. I don’t need to talk, I’ve seen enough.”
“Last chance Cara,” I waited and she didn’t move, like I expected. “OK, you asked for this.” I walked around to her side of the truck and pulled her until she was suspended upside down, over my shoulder.
“Put me down Ross,” she protested, slapping my back.
“I will. Once we’re inside, the doors and windows are locked and you have no escape.”
“Put me the fuck down, I’m not going inside.” Well that’s a first, I haven’t heard her cuss before. “Ross, put me down,” she began to shout again. I ignored, locking the door from the inside whilst trying not to drop her, she had now progressed to kicking and punching me.
Finally, I was seeing a reaction out of her, seeing some emotion and hopefully, truthful emotion. By now she was balancing precariously, like she could topple off at any moment. I kept walking until the bed came into sight and dispatched her, through the air, in that direction.
I braced for a return of abuse, “You fucking ass hole,” she started, pushing me. I didn’t budge an inch and it made her tirade more explosive. “I trusted you, I fucking trusted you. I went against my instincts and let you…”
“Let me what?” I pushed back, getting in her raging face.
“Nothing,” she said shutting down her emotions in an instant. Just like that they were gone.
Oh no, I wasn’t fuckin’ having that. I wanted her spit and fire, I wanted the truth, so I started to prod the monster within her. “I fuckin’ let you what Cara?” I spat getting closer to her face again, closing the gap between us so quickly so that she’d have to react if she wanted space again. “What’s the matter? Scared? Have I wasted my time gettin’ in there?” I saw her eyes flash with anger, I was winning. “What’s the matter the truth hurtin’? Maybe I should just let you fuckin’ run.”
That did it.
Quick as a flash her hand sliced through the air and she palmed my cheek with a sting. “I let you get under my skin, inside me. I let you be in my head, the fucking good bits of my head,” she screamed. “I wanted the life you teased me with. I believe you wanted it too. I actually thought you could want me too.” Hysterical laughing took hold of her, “But then what do I know? I’m not an exotic beauty whose wedding you couldn’t attend because of some past love affair. I’m just some lost cause who your dad fooled you into looking after.”
I could tell her rage was coming to an end, she wasn’t as fiery because she was running out of steam. I actually saw the moment that she succumbed to some resigned fate that she’d managed to conjure up in her head. “She’s so beautiful and I’m… me. Troubled, inexperienced, ordinary and plain or at least I am now. I get it, I really do. Just let me be Ross.” Cara finally slumped back on the bed, tears filling her eyes and I finally understood it. She wasn’t just running because of the fear factor, her insecurities were doubling those emotions and causing a kind of fear she felt deep within her.
Too scared to run and too scared to stay.
“You done now?” I asked finally ready to have my say.
“Yes. I think we are.”
“I said ‘you, not we,’” I have to say I like this feisty bitch, the one that lives deep inside you. This bitch I can deal with because she tells the goddamn truth.”
“Don’t call me a bitch.”
“Own it baby, sometimes you have to let the bitch out. If she’s stuck inside there is no room for the nice. All that fuckin’ shit you just spewed, I don’t ever want to hear it again.”
“But…” she tried to protest.
> “We. Are. Not. Done,” I confirmed for her in a voice that she had to listen to. It was time to convince her. “Take your clothes off.”
“No. I don’t think so,” she replied indignantly.
“You think you have a choice, but you don’t. I will help you out of them, just like I helped you out of the truck. What’s it gonna be?”
I saw fear creep into her eyes, I knew my approach was a risky one but I needed her to understand what she did to me.
I reached out to take hold of her head and pulled her face towards mine, my target was her lips. I wanted to feel the smoothness of those lips and her wet tongue against mine. It didn’t take long before I felt some of the fight leave her and be replaced with lust. “Now, take your clothes off.”
Cara began to undress and with each item of clothing she removed, the steel hardness grew in my pants. I was fucking aching by the time she got down to her bra and panties. The temptation was killing me, it had been too long since we’d been together, since I’d kissed her, since I’d been inside her.
“All of it Cara. Every scrap of material, I want it gone.” She went with the bra first and the cheeky fucking minx dragged a nail over her hard nipples on the way past, a move which had me adjusting my cock within the confines of my jeans.
This was a new side of Cara. “Bitchy and horny, I like this side of you baby.” Next she smoothed her hand down her front, pushing it into her panties before she removed them. I watched the action and nearly exploded when I saw her middle finger disappear between her beautiful lips. I could smell her arousal and it was killing me, “Fuck, that’s it,” I growled and launched myself at her. “If I don’t get inside you soon…” I didn’t get chance to finish, Cara’s mouth attacked mine, whilst her fingers fumbled with the button and zipper on my jeans. Feeling her fingers connect with my cock made it no better, it just made the ache worse.
As soon as I realized I couldn’t take anymore, I pushed her onto her back and fell between her spread open legs. “Tell me you’re wet baby.”
“Yes, oh yes. God, yes.”
I stabbed the end of my cock into her opening, watched her eyes flutter shut, her mouth form an O shape and then accept the rest of me as I speared inside her in one fell swoop. When I hit the end of her I stopped, breathed deep and waited for her to look at me. “Feel me. This. Us.”
Survivor (The Soul Mates Series Book 1) Page 16
