“And if he didn’t?”
“Then I would shoot him, Clarissa.” Jenna stopped rifling through the clothes and took the girl’s hands. “Just like you were ready to shoot Barker. But I don’t think Roy’s like that, just like Barker’s not. Trust your instincts on this one.”
Clarissa’s hands trembled. “I’m terrified of having sex. I really am.”
“Sex is supposed to be fun, right? Let him remind you of that.”
“I’ll see how I feel after the bath.” Clarissa smiled and shook her head. “This is crazy.”
“No it’s not. As far as I’m concerned, having sex with someone you like is about the best way to enjoy life right now.”
Clarissa took the clothes for her and Roy in her arms. “I’ll think about it.”
Jenna entered the large master bathroom. Barker was already naked, in the tub, with a candle glowing softly.
“Come on in,” he said. “Water’s cool but not cold. And we’ve got soap, and shampoo.”
“I haven’t used shampoo, real shampoo, in so long,” Jenna said, pulling off the uniform she wore.
She stepped into the tub and sank down with a sigh of contentment.
“Let me wash you,” Barker said, holding the soap.
Jenna smiled and closed her eyes as his soapy hands lathered her up, running down her thighs, her legs, washing her feet.
“Here, give me that,” she said, taking the soap. She washed her private parts, then ran the soap up to her breasts, her underarms, keeping her gaze fixated on him.
His cock was erect beneath the water.
“You like watching me bathe?” she teased.
“I do. You’re beautiful.”
Jenna poured shampoo into her hand, relishing the flowery scent. She took her time washing her hair, rubbing her scalp and rinsing it until the strands were clean.
“This might be the cleanest I’ve been in a year,” she laughed.
“Me too.”
Barker pulled her toward him in the tub, and she lay with her back against his muscular chest, his erection pressing into her flesh.
“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” she suggested.
Barker helped her stand and get out of the tub. As he handed her a towel, she remembered that she still needed to talk to him.
Not that she wanted to kill the mood. She didn’t. But some things had to be said.
“Barker,” she started, “I appreciate that you feel responsible for me. I do. It’s very sweet, chivalrous. But you need to remember that I’m a big girl, and can take care of myself.”
“So, don’t hand you a towel?”
“Ha ha,” she said dryly. “You know what I mean. You do, right?”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I know what you mean. The ‘damsel-in-distress bullshit,’ right?”
“Exactly.”
“I’ll do my best to treat you like a man, then,” Barker said, wrapping his arms around her. “But not tonight.”
Jenna wanted to lose herself in his embrace, to kiss until everything fell away, so they could pretend—the way they did their first night together. But she couldn’t.
“Treat me like a woman who has survived this long.”
“Okay.” He kissed her neck, sending ripples of desire through her. “Damn, you smell perfect.”
“You do too.”
Barker lifted her in his arms and carried her out of the bathroom, laying her down on the king-sized bed.
Jenna spread her legs wide, inviting him toward her with a smile.
“Fucking hell, Jenna,” he growled. “I’m going to eat your pussy till you scream.”
“That might scare some people.”
“Then bite the pillow,” he said, lowering his head between her thighs.
She gasped as his tongue found her clit, licking slow circles, making it swell with need and desire.
He took his time, nibbling her, sucking her clit into his mouth, murmuring sweet nothings against her pussy until she felt the vibrations from his lips in her very core.
Her hips ground up against his mouth, needing more contact, more of everything. And he gave it to her. Her climax crested and she moaned, gasping for air as her womb spasmed, her pussy clamping onto nothingness.
“I need you in me, Barker, fuck me, please,” she begged.
“Where’s my scream?” he asked, and bent his head down again, licking her overstimulated clit until he’d forced a second orgasm from her, wrenching it out of her until she tossed her head against the luxurious pillows to muffle her scream of ecstasy.
“There we go,” he whispered, and rose up, his muscular arms bracing around her as he thrust inside her wet pussy.
“Yes, fuck me, God, I need you,” she breathed, meeting him thrust for thrust.
He rolled her to the side, making use of the large bed, and mounted her sideways, facing her, pinching her nipples as he rammed inside of her.
Every stroke hit her G-spot perfectly, and she moaned with desire.
“I wanna be on top,” she said, pushing him onto his back.
He looked up at her with raised eyebrows. “Trying to show me who’s boss?”
Jenna laughed and pinned his wrists to the bed, sliding slowly onto his huge cock, letting her body adjust to the new position. She rocked forward and back, using his cock for her pleasure, going so slowly that he winced as if in pain.
“You can take it,” she teased, “if you can give it.”
“Fuck,” he groaned, bucking his hips up, trying to speed up the pace, but she raised off of his cock completely, making him wait.
When he stopped, she sat back onto him, filling herself with his length, and resumed her slow, tortuous pace.
* * *
In one of the guest rooms, Clarissa looked at herself in the mirror and detangled her long red hair.
Roy was in the other guest room, taking a bath there. Should she approach him? Would he even be interested?
Was she?
Yes. She was interested, she had to admit. Roy seemed like a really genuine guy, and during their time walking together they never had a dull moment in the conversation.
Yeah, he was older. Old enough to be her father. But from the moment he’d shaved his beard and cut his salt-and-pepper dark hair, she’d seen he had a good-looking, kind face under it all. And his body . . . well, the food shortage following the Pulse had stripped everyone of any ounce of extra fat, and with all the moving around, lifting things, and fishing Roy had been doing, he’d gotten himself quite a fit figure.
Oh hell. Maybe she could just go talk to him, and see if he made a move. That would make it easier. Then again, Roy wasn’t the type to make the first move, not when he knew even some of what she’d been through at Grand Central.
He’d been careful not to make her uncomfortable in any way, never leering, never touching her even. And it worked. She felt more comfortable around Roy than she did even around Barker, perhaps because Barker was so clearly a sexual man, and he always had desire in his eyes when she caught him watching Jenna from afar.
Just go. Take a chance.
No. Why should she, when it was just as easy to remain alone, and celibate?
Clarissa wrapped a fluffy robe around her body and hugged herself. She couldn’t live in fear of men and of sex forever. Like Jenna said, having sex with someone you cared about was probably going to be the best time anyone could have in this world right now.
Clarissa walked out of the bathroom and out of the guest room before she could second-guess herself again. She knocked on the door to the room Roy was staying in.
Roy answered the door wearing a towel around his waist. “Is something wrong?” he asked.
“No, everything’s fine. I was just . . . um, bored. Wanted to see if you wanted company.”
Roy smiled,
his straight white teeth visible even in the dark corridor. “Sure. Let me put some clothes on. Just gimme a sec.”
Tell him not to bother, a little voice whispered in her head. Probably Jenna’s voice. Clarissa ignored it.
Roy came back wearing a T-shirt and a pair of jogging shorts he’d borrowed—
(stolen)
from Evan’s father.
“Come on in,” he said. “Unless you’d feel more comfortable going back down to the living room?”
“Roy,” Clarissa said softly. “This is awkward for me, but I . . . If you want to say no, you can, I won’t be offended.”
“Say no to what?”
“Maybe we could share a bed tonight. Not necessarily for sex, just . . . It would be nice to spend the night together, maybe.” She could feel her cheeks warming with embarrassment.
Roy looked downright shocked. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
“Forget it. Forget I said anything, it was a stupid idea—”
Roy wrapped his arms around her in a hug, a gentle embrace. “It’s not stupid. I like you a lot. And you know you’re beautiful. I honestly didn’t think you saw me like that. An old geezer like me.” He laughed and tilted her chin up so she couldn’t keep averting her eyes.
“I’ve had some really bad experiences with sex lately. You know . . . just bad. I’m not even sure I could have sex, if I’m ready for that.”
“We could cuddle and talk, if you want.”
“Will that be difficult for you?” Clarissa looked away again.
“You’re beautiful, and I’m attracted to you. If you wanted to, I’d make love to you in a heartbeat. But if you don’t want to—I’m completely in control of my own actions. Any man who says differently is a liar. If all you want to do is sleep, actually sleep, we can do that.”
“Thank you, Roy.” Clarissa smiled, feeling more relieved than she’d felt in a long time.
He went to the bed and pulled back the covers, patting the space beside him. “Hop in, the water’s fine,” he joked.
Clarissa laughed tentatively and joined him, still in the bathrobe. The robe covered all of her, and yet she felt so very naked underneath.
“Is this weird for you?” she asked.
“My wife passed away a long time ago, before I even met Barker. Barker’s father, that is. I’ve been with other women since, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I meant . . . is it weird to be with me?” Did Roy care that she’d slept with so many men since the Pulse while staying on the Tracks? Did he even understand?
“No. I feel very blessed to have you here.”
He pulled her next to him, and she rested her head on his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat.
“Clarissa, may I kiss you? You can stop me at any time, you know that, right?”
Fear merged with excitement within her. This was really happening. Could she do it?
“Yes,” she whispered, and lifted her face up to meet his.
His lips were soft, his face freshly shaven. He smelled like soap from his bath. Here, in this bed, she could imagine everything was normal again.
As if the past year hadn’t happened at all.
She opened her mouth to his, letting their tongues mingle, enjoying the kiss.
They kissed for a long time, like teenagers who weren’t sure how far they should go. Finally she slipped her hand to her waist, untying the bathrobe. It fell open, revealing her nakedness.
“Clarissa,” he whispered. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.”
He touched her breasts reverently, dipping his head to kiss each nipple, gently flicking them with his tongue until they tightened into hard peaks.
Clarissa rested her head on the pillow and breathed in sharply as he slowly stroked between her legs, coaxing her body to relax.
Her pussy became wet with desire, and she found his cock, rubbing it over his shorts.
“Can I take off my clothes?” he asked.
She nodded, and he stripped out of the shorts, freeing his hard cock, and his shirt. The light fuzz of hair on his chest tickled her breasts as he embraced her, their bodies pressed together.
“Do you like this?” he asked, rubbing her clit. “If you need me to stop, or do something different, you just tell me.”
“This is lovely, thank you,” she said, barely able to get the words out. All of her energy was focused on the feel of his strong hands on her body, the tight coil of her lust slowly unfurling.
It had been too long since she’d been touched by gentle hands, by hands that wanted to pleasure her, not hold her down. Too long.
Roy rubbed faster, kissing her neck, and slipped one finger deep inside her. She came hard, gasping with pleasure as he rolled his fingers over her clit, drawing out her orgasm.
“Thank you,” she breathed. “That was amazing.”
Roy smiled and looked at her. “You have a really sexy orgasm face. Anyone ever tell you that?”
Clarissa blushed. She didn’t want to talk about anyone else that she’d slept with. She shook her head.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” he asked.
She looked as his cock, still so hard, and smiled. “We can have sex. If you want to, I mean.”
“Of course I want to.” Roy moved on top of her, kissing her so sweetly she never wanted the night to end.
And yet, she was still nervous. Why?
She opened her legs for him, and he pressed his cock against the entrance of her pussy.
It hurt.
“Ow, I’m sorry, wait,” she said.
He stopped immediately. “Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry, I just, I’m tense or something. Maybe just go slower.”
Roy reached his fingers down between their bodies and touched her, opening her up for him, sliding some of her moisture over his cock to lubricate it.
This time, she breathed in and out, relaxing her mind as well as her body, and he was able to carefully fill her.
“How’s that?” he asked, stopping when he was completely in her. “Does it hurt?”
“No, I’m fine now.”
She held on to his back, gripping him tightly as they slowly, gently, made love.
Right before he came, he sped up, fucking her harder, and she moaned, both with desire and with a frisson of fear. Old memories die hard.
Would she ever escape the memories of the Tracks?
* * *
The following morning, Jenna went downstairs and found Clarissa boiling water.
“How was your night?” Jenna asked.
Clarissa smiled. “Good. I took your advice and slept with Roy.”
“Way to go, hon!” Jenna grinned and sat down next to her. “How was it?”
“A little weird. Kinda awkward, since I had to basically explain to him that I wanted to try having sex, and then out of nowhere it was like my body just shut down, right when we were about to do it. He literally couldn’t get it in for a moment there.” Clarissa laughed. “Sorry, TMI.”
“No, no, it’s fine. Are you kidding, TMI? There’s no such thing as too much information between girlfriends. So what do you think happened?”
“I think I’m just not ready yet. I’m still really touchy about sex stuff. It’s too recent, too fresh of a wound, so to speak.”
Damn. That was disappointing. For some reason Jenna had truly thought that if Clarissa just gave it a go, she’d let go of her inhibitions. But not everyone worked like Jenna did.
“Maybe you need to try with a woman,” Jenna said.
Clarissa laughed and shook her head. “I’m straight, anyway. I mean, we ended up having sex, and it was good. I had a really great orgasm that melted like a year of stress out of my muscles.”
“Good!” Jenna tried not to picture Clarissa having an orga
sm, but she couldn’t help it. In her mind, she saw Clarissa throwing her head back, her body arched in ecstasy, a soft moan on her lips.
Fuck. She really needed to stop thinking that way.
Why couldn’t she just be happy sleeping with Barker? They’d had an unbelievably hot night.
“How did it go with Barker?” Clarissa asked, as if reading her mind.
“Amazing, as always.”
“Did you talk to him about how he’s being overprotective?”
“Yeah, we talked about it. Barker’s a good guy. A good fuck-buddy.”
Clarissa rolled her eyes. “Is that all he is? A fuck-buddy?”
No. She’d never felt so strongly about a friend with benefits before, anyway. So why now? Why him?
“I mean, it’s not like we’ve had a relationship discussion,” Jenna said. “And I’m still not sure I even want to be in a relationship, with anyone.”
“Because you like sex too much.”
Jenna laughed. “It sounds stupid when you say it like that, especially since Barker’s really good at that aspect.”
Evan walked into the living room, his eyes still sleepy. He looked even more like a child than usual with his face still lined from sleeping against his bedsheets. “Good at what?”
Clarissa ignored the question. “Good morning, Evan, how are you?”
“Usual. Hungry.” He watched the pot of boiling water. “You guys find everything you needed?”
Jenna smiled at him. “Yes, thank you. We’re going to want to get on the road today, so you should pack a backpack with some fresh clothes, socks, and any supplies you have.”
“What do you mean, supplies?”
“Anything to make fire with. Candles. Can opener. Food. A mug, maybe a pot. Things we can use camping.”
“Okay, but I don’t want a gun,” Evan said. “I’m not shooting anyone. Look at you guys—it’s not even breakfast and you both have rifles on over my mom’s clothing. It’s weird.”
“Well, if someone broke through that door right now, just like we did yesterday,” Jenna said, “you’d be glad we had them on us.”
The Escape Page 15
