by Susan Ward
THERE ARE MORE TEARS, more smiles, and more laughter before the night draws closed as everyone, except Eric, opens the letters from Jack delivered to them by Linda.
Krystal leans over her chair and tries to peek at Khloe’s. “You didn’t read yours out loud. Everyone else shared. We all want to know what Jack’s last words were to you.”
Khloe shoves her letter back into her envelope. “No. Not sharing.”
“If someone is going to go rogue, it’s always you, Khloe,” Kaley groans, annoyed.
Khloe tosses her sister a sharp look. “I’m not going rogue. I’m not supposed to share mine. Grandpa told me not to. He wrote it on the bottom. KK, this is intended to be only between you and me.”
Krystal frowns and plops around on her chair to look at her mother. “Why would Grandpa do that?”
Chrissie shrugs as she reaches for her champagne flute. “If Jack did that, he had a reason, Krystal. Leave your sister alone.”
“Why aren’t you opening yours, Eric?” I ask. The notes from Jack to his family have been so beautiful. He must have been an amazing man to have composed each one on his death bed, personalized and filled with love and wisdom.
Eric lets out a slow, trembling sigh. “A lot’s happened today. Just breathing a moment. Enjoying being alert and present with you. I’ll read it later.”
I nod, settling against him.
Alan stands up. “It’s late, everyone. We should all call it a night.”
The patio becomes quickly near empty. Hana kisses Eric, then Krystal grabs her hand. “Don’t get up, Eric. I’ll put her to bed in her room tonight. I’m sure you two could use a little alone time.”
“Thanks, sis.”
“Night, Krystal. Night, Hana,” I say as they head toward the house.
“Well, I don’t know about you, Willow,” Chrissie says, standing. “But I’m exhausted and going to bed.”
She kisses Eric on the cheek. “Night, baby boy. Happy birthday. It’s been a pretty spectacular day, hasn’t it?”
“Parker family epic, Mom. I love you.”
We stand up as Alan makes to follow his wife.
“Hey, Dad. Can we go walk and talk for a while?’ Eric says, suddenly intensely serious.
I widen my eyes at him. What is he doing? This isn’t the what next I expected. True, his mom put us in separate bedrooms, but that was for Hana’s benefit. It never occurred to me we’d respect it.
It’s hard to tell who’s more surprised by Eric’s request: me or Alan.
“Sure, son. I’ve got all the time you need.”
Eric turns and takes me in his arms. “Thank you for the best birthday surprise any guy’s ever gotten. But there’s something I need to take care of now. Understand?”
Not really—I’m completely confused and extremely let down. I could hardly wait for dinner to end because I thought the next stop would be bed with him.
“See you in the morning,” I whisper, hoping I don’t sound too disappointed.
He grins and whispers, “I didn’t say you wouldn’t see me again tonight.”
“Good to know.” Thankfully, my face is tucked against his chest, hiding from his dad the flush that rose to my cheeks.
After a moment to compose myself, I peek up at him and the way he’s looking at me assures me we’re going to be together somehow at some point tonight.
I stand by the patio door and watch as Alan walks off with Eric toward the beach.
Chapter Forty-Four
Eric
WE GET TO JACK and Linda’s chaises on the cliffs and I gesture toward them. “Is this OK? Why don’t we just sit here and not head to the beach?”
“Trying to save time? In a hurry or something?” Alan teases, his black eyes shimmering.
I grin, though I try not to. I settle on the edge of Linda’s chair, facing Jack’s that I’ve left for my dad.
“She’s a lovely girl,” he says, stretching out on his lounger. “The entire family likes her. Even Linda.”
“She’s the best woman I’ve ever known.”
He stares at me approvingly and it means a lot to me.
“You know, Eric, whatever you want to talk about could have waited until morning if you’ve got something better waiting for you.”
“No, Dad, it couldn’t.”
“What’s going on, Eric?”
“A lot. I’m thinking through a lot of things.”
Alan nods, bobbing his chin. “Anything I can help you with?”
“I’m hoping you can.”
He nods again and patiently waits. I was nervous when I asked to speak alone with my dad but, exhaling, I’m startled by how comfortable it is. None of our old friction. I’m not sure who to credit for the change in our relationship, me or him. Either way it doesn’t matter. I like it.
I deliberate how to start this. I’m seeking advice, I’m hoping for guidance, and I’ve never done that before. But the things I’m turning in my head are too important to get wrong, and I figure if anyone should understand where I am in my life it should be my dad.
His gaze shifts to the letter I’m holding in my hand. “I think I know what you have on your mind. I’ve got a thought. Why not read Jack’s letter first? There’s got to be at least one answer you’re looking for in there.”
I turn the envelope in my hand. I wasn’t planning on doing this now, but what the fuck, Dad could be right. It’s been that crazy of a day.
Alan takes his cell phone from his pocket and switches on the flashlight, holding it above me.
My hands tremble as I pull the sheet of paper out and unfold the letter. Jack’s bold, precise printing leaps off the page.
No salutation. There never is. Damn wonderful enigma of a man. My chest contracts, making it hard to focus on the words.
When I look at you , it’s like looking at myself . The good . The bad . The complicated , but always in all moments hopeful .
Our roads aren’t easy , but they’re good . We make wrong turns , but that doesn’t matter . I lost my way once and had to be found . You did , too . Wrong turns are nothing , always in the rearview once you’re on the right path , and the journey ends as it’s supposed to .
The choices we have in our lives are limited . Who we love . How we love . And where we love .
There’s a quiet peace to the earth bordering the Pacific , on the cliffs above the ocean . There is truth . There is music . There is love in the silence here .
It takes a special person to appreciate the value of what’s here . Breathe and give it time . You’ll feel the dawn and the sunset and the hope here . I don’t doubt that .
That’s why I decided you should be the one to trust Lena’s magical kingdom by the sea to . On the edge of the cliffs I’ve watched the dawn and the sunset for over ninety-four years . You do that , EJ , and you’ll never lose your way again .
Too many people spend their entire lives searching for the wrong things because the right things are the hardest to have .
Find someone to love .
Let this place bring you peace .
And don’t let anyone or anything pull you away , not ever again from either .
Love ,
Jack
I’M CHOKING BACK sobs as I rub my eyes. Jack’s not even alive, and every question in my mind is answered by a few words from him.
I can feel my dad watching me, wanting to know what’s up. But I can’t fucking believe Jack did this.
My dad sits quietly, saying nothing, and in this moment I can feel how much I’ve always loved him.
“Jack gave me his house,” I manage to say at last.
When I glance up, Alan’s bobbing his chin with his mouth scrunched up, staring out at the ocean. “No, EJ, he didn’t give you his house. He gave you his hope. Just like he’s done for everyone he loves his entire life.”
AFTER THE LETTER, I do need to walk so Dad and I go down to the beach. We haven’t
spoken a word since the cliffs. That’s OK. Even silence between us is a good thing for me now.
We get as far along the shore as the security barrier.
“You still got stuff on your mind?” Alan asks as we head back toward the stairs built into the cliffs.
I shrug. “Yep, Dad. Sorry. Just cogitating. Talking things out isn’t one of my strong points. Never has been. I’m still learning how to do this communication shit.”
My dad chuckles, then pauses in the sand. “You think too much. You’re like your mother that way. So why don’t I clear the deck for us? If it’s Willow, your mother and I approve. If it’s Hana, that’ll work out all on its own. No matter what you do, make sure she knows you love her, and it won’t be a wrong move. If it’s something else, just spit it out.”
I shove my hands deep into my pockets. “Spoke with my business manager last week. My finances, they’re grim, even with my Black Dawn royalties still coming in. You’ve done a lot for me—Tara and all that shit—and I’m going to pay you back. Every cent—”
“Eric, there’s no need. All the money goes to you kids when I die anyway.”
“Don’t ever say that ever again, Dad. I’m going to be an old man like you before that happens. And it’s part of my steps. My amends. Taking care of the things I let others take care of for me. It’s important to me, Dad, that I do this. It’s going to take time, but I’m going back to work soon. I’ve got enough new material to release a solo album and I want you to produce it if you’re willing.”
“Always willing.” He sounds almost choked up.
“Good. Ethan told me it’s easier to be a family man if you keep everything about family. I like how he’s got his shit together with Avery. I want that for me and Willow. I’m marrying her as soon as she says yes, and I don’t ever want to fuck up with her so I’m not going to do shit the way I used to.”
Alan pulls his cigarettes from his pocket and lights one. “I do have advice on that one. I asked your mom to marry me the first time when she was eighteen. She said no.” He laughs. “I asked the second time when she was forty-one. That time she ignored the question. I asked her again two weeks later, and she said yes. We’ve been married twenty-two years now. God, I love that woman. As much today as I did when she was eighteen.”
I’m smiling, though I’m not sure why. Us kids have heard that story a thousand times and I’m not sure how it fits with our discussion.
“That’s not confidence building, Dad. You’re supposed to send me in to pop the question pumped up that I’ll succeed. That’s why we’re walking on the beach after midnight. And you’re telling me it might take twenty years to get a Willow to say yes.”
He slowly exhales smoke, then grins. “No. I’m saying you never take no for an answer with a woman you love. The best things in life are never easy. They take work. Expect that, too. Even if she says yes after the first time you ask. Work, Eric. No way to avoid it.”
Oh—then I laugh. It sounds more like something Willow would say than my dad.
We start walking again. “I don’t feel right about Jack giving me this house. Shouldn’t it go to Linda?”
“Jack talked with Linda, your mother, and me before he made his bequests. He wouldn’t have given you the house if Linda hadn’t agreed. She wants to move back to LA to be closer to Madison. She said that it would be too sad for her to live in this house without Jack, and it was time for it to be passed down. Linda knew he’d decided to give it to you before he did it.”
That takes the weight of the world off my shoulders. Being here is like a talisman and I can’t think of anywhere else better to start my family.
“I’ve been offered a pay-per-view live concert series on ABO. I know how you feel about these things, Dad. I’m thinking of doing it, that it’s something that’ll work for me. The contract is good. The money is good if the show works out. I miss playing in front of an audience, but I don’t want to tour anymore. I won’t do that to Willow and Hana.”
“It’s easier to be a family man if you keep things about family,” he quotes back at me. “It seems to me you’ve put together a solid plan. I’m not sure what you needed my help with.”
I stare up at my dad, fighting to keep my thoughts from my face. “I texted Graham Carson before we went for our walk and asked him to take care of a few things for me. I want things to be perfect when I ask Willow to marry me. He said give him an hour.”
The light changes in my dad’s eyes the second he puts that one together. “Well, fuck, Eric. Now I’m disappointed. Here I’m thinking we’re having this great father/son moment, and I’m just your cockblock to keep you from your woman because you don’t think you can wait until Graham gives you the heads-up that everything is ready.”
I glance up at him, rubbing my chin. “Not completely. It was an epic father/son moment.”
When we reach the top of the stairs built into the cliffs, my dad’s black eyes burn into me, then soften as he laughs. “We’re almost back to the house, Eric. Was there anything you really want to talk about or can I go to bed now?”
“Yeah. There really is something only you can help me with. I asked Mom tonight for Grandma Lena’s wedding rings that Jack’s been holding on to for me. I want to give them to Willow, only I forgot them in your bedroom after Mom got them from Jack’s things for me. I don’t want to wake Mom. Wake up Mom, half the house wakes up. They’re on the night table. Can you get them and bring them back to me?”
Me: You still awake?
Willow: Wide awake. Just texting with Jade. I’m thinking your mom doesn’t like me to have me rooming with Khloe. ☹ Did you know your sister snores?
Me: My mom likes you lots. Did you know we share a Jack & Jill bathroom and I’m the other door?
Willow: Oh. No, I didn’t. Somehow I missed that pertinent information. So do I come to you or do we meet in the bathroom? Nasty shower sounds good to me. Don’t keep me waiting. Not one second longer.
Me: Neither. Five minutes. Meet me at the stairs above the cliffs.
I SWITCH OFF MY phone and shove it into my pocket. It’s after midnight and Hana hasn’t crept down the hallway to my bed. A good sign. She’s slept the last two nights in her own bed. Hopefully she does that tonight.
As an insurance policy to keep her from getting upset if she comes here while I’m gone, I grab my mom’s Oreo cookies from the kitchen. They’re sort of our thing. Hana and me sneaking Grandma’s favorite comfort food to eat while we watch a movie or read a book. I place them in the center of my bed beside the bear I keep in the room for Hana with a note.
BRB. Don’t tell Grandma. Don’t eat them all. I want one. Love, Daddy.
I’m sure my older sisters would disapprove of the bribery, but I don’t care. Not tonight. A few hours for Daddy to be alone with his woman and a few cookies for Hana won’t mean a thing in the long run. She is sleeping through the night on her own now. It’s been a long day. Krystal got her to bed without a problem. I doubt she’s even going to come in here. Leaving the cookies just makes me feel better.
As I head back out toward the cliffs, my nerves are jumping and both my body and heart are lit. Two weeks we’ve been apart. I don’t know how I’ve made it this long without making love to Willow.
It was torture having her within reach all day, staring up at me with those bedroom brown eyes, and feeling the tension building in both our bodies.
A sound makes me turn. My cock jumps at the sight of her, but it’s how my heart feels that my thoughts are focused on. Everything I want to say to her is bottled up like a traffic jam in my throat as I wait for her to reach me.
The half moon shines brightly over her and she’s never looked more beautiful to me. An epic pow moment this round, how she looks right before I ask her to marry me.
“There’s my woman,” I announce playfully to mask how nervous I am. I slip my hand into hers.
Her brows pucker briefly, no doubt wondering why I didn’t
kiss her. I pull her with me toward the stairs.
Willow laughs. “The beach, huh? That’s the best place you could think of for us to be alone?”
I’m moving downward ahead of her on the steps, to be there in case she makes a misstep.
I glance back over my shoulder at her. “With my entire family in the house, it’s probably the only place we have a shot at being alone.”
“It could be hot making love in the sand,” she murmurs, and the tone of her voice brushes my cock like a caress. “You crashing into me with the sound of crashing waves serenading us.”
Everything below my waist tightens to dick-ripping levels. Willow’s not making this easy on me.
Once we reach the sand, I take both her hands in mine and turn to face her. “Nope. Not tonight. Not happening. There are probably drones with infrared cameras overhead.”
Alarmed, she looks up into the star-littered sky and, laughing, I sweep her up in my arms. “No drones. Just kidding. But I’m only going to kiss you once for right now. That’s it.”
“Eric, you had better be joking—”
I lift her from the sand and kiss the fuck out of her mouth. I warn my body to simmer down. When I finally come up for air, I’m breathless and desire is ripping through me. My hands close on her hips, holding space between us as I work to reclaim the speech I had in my head.
“That better not be it, Eric,” she gasps.
“No shot of that, ever. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“But I want to talk first. OK?” I murmur, fighting against the urge to reverse how I planned this: proposal, bed, then more bed.
She stares at me and her voice is full of concern. “What’s going on, Eric? You seem very serious.”
“I am. About as serious as a man can be. There are some things I want to say to you before we make love.”
Her expression changes into sexy kitten Willow, ratcheting up the torture. “You’ve got five minutes, Eric. After that, I can’t guarantee I’ll listen. I may undress and attack you before you’ve finished.”
Laughing, I rake back the hair tumbling forward on my face. “Don’t smirk at me, and stop checking out my erection. I’ve been hard for you all night, baby. But this is important. There are some things about me I have to tell you. I want you to know what you’re getting into before you attack me.”
