by Kaye Draper
He paused to catch his breath and I had the feeling he was trying to hurry and get this off his chest. He looked at the warded cottage again. "But the beatings were easy for him. It was the times they locked him away…shut him up in a small, dark room and starved him for days on end to build character. That was what always broke him." He met my eyes. "The elders don't know this, but it was me. The last time he got out and ran away from here. I'm the one who let him out. I just couldn't stand to see him suffer anymore."
Son of a bitch.
I felt like I was going to puke. I knew Hisashi hated his clan. I knew he was desperate enough to run away from his family and live on the streets at fifteen years old. But I had no idea the shit he'd been through. I thought the whole binding him to a shrine and using his powers for the rest of his life thing was a good enough reason to run away.
I should have known better.
Living under those kinds of unreasonable expectations wasn't what drove someone to finally snap and leave. It took something more visceral. I'd been the same way. I hadn't left my clan and their bullshit until a clan member raped me and the council let him get away with it.
Hisashi hadn't run away from the commitment. He'd run away from fucking abuse.
I growled, low in my throat, wanting to go back and find his parents and rip their intestines out through their throats. How could they? Even if it meant stopping the end of the fucking world, I would never hurt my own child. Uh. Not that I ever planned to have children.
Oisin put a hand on my shoulder, a bare hint of his magic slipping through the touch to calm me. "Easy gryphon."
Kai stepped up and wrapped her arms around Hisashi's brother, earning a startled look when she squeezed him so hard he wheezed. "You poor thing," she murmured. "You did what you could. You were a kid too."
He laughed, but it turned into a choked sob as he wrapped his arms around my clingy kraken. "I tried. But I failed him so many times."
I blinked rapidly. I wasn't going to cry. It was just dusty out here in the yard. "Can you let us in to see him?" I said impatiently. So much fucking emoting. It was making me antsy.
Hero disentangled himself from Kai with an embarrassed smile. "Yeah, of course. Sorry. I just…I wanted you to know…." He met my eyes. "You're his mate, aren't you? No matter what they say about that being wrong."
I nodded. "I am." I glanced at Oisin. "We are."
Hero grinned, and his odd glances at Oisin suddenly made more sense. "I knew it."
Then his grin fell. "He's doing this willingly. He thinks it's the only way. But that's only because they've drilled that bullshit into his head all his life, kept him isolated here to protect their power source. I'm sure you guys can figure out some other way to keep him safe. I hope you can convince him to go with you."
I nodded, wondering if Hisashi knew how much his brother loved him. "We will."
He waved a hand and muttered something. A small orb of orange fire floated from his hand, flashing when it connected with the energy of the ward. Foxfire, apparently. The ward would only open for another fox.
"Thanks." I grabbed my bag and headed inside. I'd planned to tear Hisashi a new one for running off on us. But now…I don't know if I had it in me. I swore to the Gods the first thing I was going to do when we got this sorted out was get to know all my pride a little better. Because shit, we had some issues.
The inside of the traditional little building was clean and elegant, but simple. I started to move deeper into the house, but Con grabbed my arm and pulled me back as he toed his shoes off and left them on a little mat by the door. The others did the same and I rolled my eyes, but I paused to pry my boots off. Wouldn't want to offend anyone.
There was a soft rustle of fabric, and Hisashi's deep voice started to speak. "Hero? If they know you're in here, they'll—"
He stopped, probably sensing our auras. We reached a room at the end of the hall and I stopped on the threshold, stunned at what I was seeing.
Hisashi lounged on a long couch, a jug of sake clutched in his hand. His blue eyes widened in surprise, then slipped closed in resignation. "I should have expected this," he said tiredly.
I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Yeah, you should have, moron."
Kai crossed the room and dropped down to sit by Hisashi, reaching out a finger to trail over the delicate gold and silver embroidery of the freaking epic kimono he was wearing. It was huge, with trailing sleeves and voluminous skirts, dozens of layers of silver, blue, and gold. Hisashi himself was decked out with long, dangling gemstone earrings, beads, and chains, and had feathers braided into the long side of his hair.
He glanced at Kai and gave her a wry smile when she breathed out, "so pretty."
Jesus, Buddha, and Odin, he was even wearing eyeliner. It stood out against his white skin and lashes. They'd made up my fox to look like some sort of expensive, exotic male geisha.
"What the hell?" I managed. I expected him to be like, I don't know, tied up or something. Starving. Maybe bruised from them restraining him. Instead he sat here looking like some sort of ancient emperor.
The nine-tail sat up straighter, his high cheekbones going red as he realized what I was staring at. "Uh…it's supposed to be an honor. To give one's life this way. So, they shower you with riches. Well, plus…I'm supposed to be a girl and all. Nine tails are supposed to be beautiful. They're doing their best with what they have to work with, I suppose."
Oisin pushed past me and went to shove Kai off the couch, stealing her spot. He reached out and took Hisashi's hand in both of his. "I will help you with your magic, fox." He was completely unfazed by the strange and fucking gorgeous vision before him. "You're making a huge mistake."
I let out a breath. "Right. I promise if you come home, we'll let you dress up like an androgynous emperor anytime you want."
Kai laughed. Con went and pulled up a footstool to sit in front of Hisashi and pat his knee. "I'll cook for you every day. Whatever you want. Just come home idiot."
I stood back and let the pride have their moment.
Kai sank down on the floor on Hisashi's other side, like a servant at her ruler's feet. "I miss you, Hisashi. Come home and I'll give you my hoard. Anything you want."
I knew it! She did hoard like a dragon. Her unused bedroom was stuffed full of anything shiny that caught her eye.
Hisashi breathed out a soft laugh, his eyes sad. "You guys are so dumb."
He slumped. "I want to go home. You know I do. But…I fucking lost it. One minute, I was standing there, wondering what to eat for lunch when I got home. The next thing I know, I'm hearing and seeing and feeling every wandering spirit in the whole damned county. “He shuddered. "Then I felt it building inside me. I don't know what would have happened, but it would have been bad. Like making the city a literal ghost town bad." His ice-blue eyes were haunted. "I can't go back. I have to be bound so I don't kill people." He touched Kai's cheek, glanced at all of us. "So I don't hurt you."
"Hisashi, there has got to be another way," I growled.
He shook his head, staring at me from across the room. "Like what, Gesa? Oisin's magic is depleted. And even if it wasn't, he and Halstad can't contain me forever. In fact, I'd be surprised if they could even contain me at all, now. It gets worse every day."
He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in his long white neck. "I've been through it all a thousand times, tried to think of anything but coming back here. But there just isn't another way.” He bit his lip. "I even considered finding a way to bind myself to the bookstore. But it's just too risky. Even if I could convince someone to do the ritual, which I can't, it's important that I pick a place that will be stable—where I don't have to worry about a city rising and falling over the course of a few hundred years. Here, I'm surrounded by my clan. They're assholes, but they know how a nine-tail works. They can support me." He shrugged and looked down. "They'll protect my shrine. Feed me and give me shelter. Make sure all my needs are met."
And divert his power for their own use. I gr
itted my teeth so hard it felt like they were going to crack. "So that's it then? You've given up?"
He raised his eyes to glare at me, little hints of silver sparking around the irises. "I tried, Gesa. I tried for six fucking years. You think I want to be here? Without you? Without my…mates?" His voice shook and he refused to look at Oisin, thinking the fae still didn't remember their relationship.
He dragged his hand from Oisin's, pushed the others away and stood in all his finery, moving with ethereal grace as he went to the door. Gods, he had changed. He was somehow more other than he'd been, even just this morning. He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Well? If that's all, it's time for you to go home. Sorry you had to waste a trip out here."
We all stood, refusing to move. Finally, Oisin let out a long sigh. "Kai, Con," he said softly. "Please give us a moment?"
The kraken and the human shared a look and moved toward the door. "Take your time," Kai said with a smirk. "We'll find some way to amuse ourselves in the village."
Hisashi held the door for them, his face devoid of emotion. Then he shut the door and turned to Oisin. "You guys aren't going to talk me out of this," he said firmly. "There just isn't any other option."
Oisin's emerald eyes were sad in that deep, aching way only someone who's lived a few centuries can be. "I didn't send them away so we could try to convince you to leave," he said quietly. "I just wanted to say goodbye, since this is what you've chosen."
Hisashi watched him with a wary expression, hope and resignation warring in his eyes. "What do you mean?"
I smiled sadly at Hisashi. "He's been working on recovering his magic. And his memories."
Hisashi's bland expression cracked. He lost the ability to keep his emotions under wraps. "Oisin?" His deep voice wobbled.
The fae lifted one perfect red eyebrow. "I remembered a few things about you, kit."
Hisashi stood frozen as the fae paced toward him, all predatory grace. "Oh?" the fox asked, his voice saying he didn't care, his face saying his heart was going to explode. "Like what?"
Oisin stopped before him, running a graceful finger up the front of his kimono, over the gold detailing there. His green eyes flicked up to meet Hisashi's. "Like how I wanted you the first moment we found you in that ridiculous little tent reading tarot cards." He smoothed his hand up over Hisashi's shoulder. "Like how my heart sang the first time we kissed." He cupped his hand around the back of the fox's neck. "Like how right it felt to touch you. To share a life with you. To sleep beside you every night."
He stared up at Hisashi, eyes shimmering with love. The fox bent, pressing his forehead to Oisin's. "I've missed you so fucking much, fae." He let out a shuddery breath. "I love you."
Then he lifted his eyes to meet mine over Oisin's head and his voice broke as tears escaped his eyes. "I love you both. So damned much I don't know how I'll live without you."
I moved to them and hugged Hisashi, Oisin trapped between us. "You don't have to—"
But he cut me off. "I do. I have to. Because even if I don't end up killing myself with this power, I'll eventually end up killing one of you. Or Kai. Or Con…he's so damned fragile."
I chuckled, even as I felt tears tracing down my own cheek. "He really is. It's so dumb. I'm afraid he'll get broken every day."
Hisashi stopped my rambling by pressing his lips to mine. I'd kissed him only that morning. Before he left for his shift on White's damned job. Before we drained our collective savings accounts to fly across the damned country last minute. But it felt like it had been years since I'd tasted him.
He drew back and bent to press a kiss to Oisin's wicked mouth, shutting up the fae's complaints that we were crushing him.
Gods, they were beautiful together. I bent to nuzzle Oisin's ear, nibbling at the sensitive point before I remembered what he told me. His fear of intimacy. It all rushed back, and I paused, trying to sense his mood. His body was nearly vibrating with tension. I thought that was arousal. But maybe it was fear? I pulled back, giving him space to breathe. The poor guy was pressed between Hisashi and I like a tiny fae pancake.
Hisashi released the fae's lips and straightened. "Would you guys…will you stay with me? Just tonight? Until I'm bound tomorrow? I want…I can't…." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I know it's cruel when I'm sending you away. But…please? I don't want to be alone."
I growled. It wasn't right, damn it. We couldn't just leave him here. But I didn't see a way out. And I had to respect that this was his decision. His life. I glanced at Oisin to make sure the fae was okay.
He was staring at Hisashi with tears pooling in his emerald eyes. I'd never seen the fae cry like this. I brushed a hand across his cheek and down to his pointed chin. Turning his face toward mine. I kissed him softly, then looked into his eyes. "I'm staying," I told him gently. "But I won't judge you…if you can't."
He shook his head, mute for the first time in recorded history. But he didn't let go of Hisashi. I got the message. Turning to our mate, I smiled. "We're staying."
Hisashi let out a shaky breath. "Good. I'll…have a chat with my wardens."
I took Oisin's hand and we went back to the room we'd found Hisashi in, while our fox argued with someone at the door. Finally, he returned, a strange combination of happiness and sadness on his face. "Hero is going to make sure Con and Kai are settled at his house. But if you want, I can call them back. I just thought…."
I shook my head at him. I understood. They were all my pride. But Hisashi wanted this last moment with his mates. "It's okay."
He nodded, then grinned evilly. "I told him to tell the elders if they disturb me between now and tomorrow, I'm leaving. That should get them to back the hell off, at least for tonight."
I stood and went to hug him, pulling him close and breathing him in, his scent of incense and cool mist. "Gods Hisashi, you can't stay here."
He stroked my hair, calming me when he was the one who needed the comfort. "Shh…" he whispered. "Focus, Gesa. Do you know how long it's going to take to get me out of these stupid clothes?"
I laughed, even though my heart was breaking.
Chapter 12
Hisashi was being overly dramatic. It didn't take that long to strip him down.
And it was fun—like unwrapping a present. Oh, my Gods, I might have a thing for…pretty guys. My clan would all spontaneously combust from righteous indignation if they knew.
Oisin regarded me with his head tilted, a sexy smirk on his lips as he set aside the silver silk obi embroidered with foxes we had just unwound from our fox. "Gesa? What dirty thought just went through that fascinating mind of yours, darling?"
I cleared my throat and averted my eyes. "Nothing. Shut up."
Hisashi caught the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss, his firm lips curling up under mine as he grinned. "He's right. You've got that look that says there's a kink here we really need to explore."
I rolled my eyes as I pulled away. "Who is the alpha here? Honestly. I thought canids were respectful of their elders."
He just chuckled. Then he stilled as Oisin's graceful hand slipped under the kimono, parting it in the front and stroking a smooth, sculpted white pec. I smirked. Oisin would distract him and we'd never have to talk about this again.
The redheaded traitor glanced at me. "It's your clothes," he purred. "She'll be imagining you all dressed up like this every time she orgasms from now on."
I scowled, leaning in to bite his plush bottom lip. "And you won't?"
Hisashi laughed, his high cheekbones stained with red. "You're both idiots." He slipped off the rest of his clothes, standing there gloriously naked. He thought that got rid of the kink material. He was wrong.
His silver-rimmed, ice blue eyes stood out thanks to the dark eyeliner ringing them. And the blood-red rubies at the ends of his earrings glittered as he moved, the chains so long they brushed the snow-white skin of his shoulder. I glanced at Oisin. The fae had an absolutely evil look on his face.
This im
age would be burned into my brain forever. My heart clenched and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I was having a heart attack. I stared at Hisashi as I tried to get over the fact that this was the last time I'd ever see him like this. Maybe they'd let us visit sometimes. But somehow, I knew once he was officially stuck here, his clan was going to bar us from ever seeing him again. And they'd use his power to do it. Because it would be communal clan property.
"Hisashi…." I clenched my jaw hard. There was no use crying the whole time. I needed to get a grip, so we had something good to remember.
I blinked through my tears and he was just there, right in front of me, kneeling at my feet while I sat on the low bed in the middle of his pretty prison. He kissed me, slow and deep, pulling the dagger out of my heart, for just a moment.
Soft, graceful hands slid under my t-shirt from behind, coming around to stroke my abs, then moving higher to cup my breasts as Oisin pressed against my back, leaning in to bite and kiss his way up the side of my neck. When Oisin got to my jaw, Hisashi's lips left mine and he reached for Oisin as the fae smoothly moved from me to the fox.
I chuckled when I found that Oisin was already naked somehow, the sneak. I was the only one who was sitting there fully clothed.
If we had more time, I might leave it that way, sit there and enjoy the show for a while. But I was hurting, and I needed to burn the feel of them into my body. Into my soul.
I wiggled out from between them and shucked my clothes, turning to find both men watching me. I growled as I prowled toward them, as if I was sure and confident.
In reality, I had no clue what came next. I had been with Con and Oisin together enough to know what that dynamic was like, what would and wouldn't happen. We had a routine. The same went for my times with Con and Kai.
But I'd only ever had the fae and fox together the one time. And with them it was different. I wasn't the primary focus of this triad, the way I was in the others. Hisashi and Oisin wanted each other as much as they wanted me. And I was okay with that. Hell, I was happy for them. Every person in my pride deserved all the love and attention they could get. My heart swelled with love when I saw them together.
