by Bella Jewel
I don’t remember anything. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, there’s nothing but a fuzzy mess. My memories have been stolen from me, and it’s not likely they’re going to be handed back anytime soon. The fact that they have been so cleverly taken tells me that they’re worth protecting. He doesn’t want me to have them for a reason, and it doesn’t matter how many times I ask him, he refuses to give them back.
He’s keeping a piece of me from myself, and that’s not something I’m okay with.
“You’re behaving well tonight,” he murmurs, shocking me out of my thoughts with his smooth, deep voice. “I’m rewarding your group with a notepad and a pen each. You can write on it, or draw, whatever you like.”
I feel my lip tremble, but I don’t know what to say. So, I say the only thing I can.
“Thank you.”
~*~*~*~
NUMBER THIRTEEN
Master is having a dinner guest tonight, so we’ve been put on kitchen duties to make sure it’s all prepared and ready to go. It’s day eleven, and each day I count and mark in the tiny notepad I keep by my bed. We’ve been working in the kitchen all day, and it’s getting hot in here. None of us speak a lot to each other. We’re still so tangled up in our own desperate thoughts.
“Master has requested that you finish up in here, and get back to your room,” the guard says, entering the room just as I’m finishing up.
I nod obediently and finish flavoring the roast, and then I push it into the oven. I slide a tray with vegetables and potatoes in the other oven, the one that I’ve set at a lower temperature so they cook slower, then I turn to the guard. “The meal will be ready within two hours.”
“We can take it from here.”
He shoves Number Seven and I out of the kitchen, and leads us to our rooms. The others girls were sent off two hours ago to tidy up for the arrival of Master William’s guest.
The minute we step into our room, the guard turns and barks a few orders at the others guards walking past. He walks off down the hall for a second, to speak to the guard right at the end, and it’s at that moment I forgot that I didn’t turn the oven on for the roast; I was too busy seasoning it. They’ll be waiting all night if I don’t do so. Not wanting to be punished again, I run out of the room and head towards the kitchen.
The guard doesn’t notice; he’s too busy laughing with the other guys.
I’m nearly to the kitchen, when I round a corner and slam into a tall, muscled form. His hands instantly come up and curl around my arms, steadying me.
“Whoa there, I’m sorry—I didn’t see you,” he says, letting me go quickly.
I straighten up, letting my eyes dart up to the man in front of me. He’s a tall, extremely beautiful man. He smiles down at me, causing the skin around his sky-blue eyes to crinkle. I can’t help but flush. He’s the kind of man that gives you a funny feeling in your belly. He’s tall and well built, wearing a gray suit and a blue tie. He’s got unruly hair that sits messily on his head. His face is heavenly, his olive skin and sky-blue eyes giving him a breathtaking look.
“Hello there,” he almost purrs. “I haven’t seen you around here before. Do you work for Will?”
He’s talking about the master, and he’s also clearly not aware of who I am. I could tell him—the urge to do so is massive—but if he didn’t believe me, I could be punished again, and ruin all chances of escape. Panic rises in my chest, and I find myself fighting against being sensible. I want to tell him who I am; I want someone to give us a chance to be freed from this. But I don’t know who this man is, and it’s too big a risk to take. I open my mouth and stammer, “I’m just...I ah...”
“Do you have a name, sweetheart?”
Do I have a name? My mind is becoming confused, and that familiar swell of frustration consumes me. I let my eyes travel past him to see if the guards are around, but they haven’t come for me yet.
“I, well, I...”
He smiles warmly, and chuckles softly. “I have this affect on most women, but rest-assured, I won’t bite. I’m Ben,” he murmurs, extending his hand.
I reach out and take it, feeling my heart hammer against my chest. He shakes my hand softly, still smiling down at me. “That name?”
“I, um, I just work for Mast...I mean, William. I’m sorry, I’m just in a hurry,” I say, avoiding the name question.
“Benjamin,” a voice says from behind me, and my body stiffens. It’s the guard.
“Well, hello Bill. I was just talking to this lovely girl here.”
My guard’s name is Bill? Who knew?
“She’s just one of William’s new employees, I’m so sorry you ran into her.”
Ben shakes his head. “I really don’t mind.”
Bill glares at me while Ben isn’t looking, and my heart twists.
“I was just...the oven wasn’t turned on, I didn’t want William’s dinner not to cook,” I manage to stammer out.
“Very well, go and turn it on, then you can retire for the night.”
I nod, and rush towards the kitchen.
“Maybe I can get your name next time, then?” I hear Ben say.
I look over my shoulder at him, and he gives me a wink before disappearing around the corner with Bill.
Oh. Goodness.
That was something I never expected to happen.
~*~*~*~
NUMBER THIRTEEN
“Who was he?” Number Twelve whispers, sitting on my bed beside me with her hands placed in her lap.
“I don’t know,” I murmur low into her ear. “He was someone Master William knows.”
“Do you think he knows about us?”
I shake my head. “No.”
We all sit in silence a moment before the other girls join me on the bed, and lean in close so the cameras can’t pick up on what we’re saying. I speak again when they’re all settled.
“I think he might help us. If I can talk to him, maybe I can tell him we’re being held here against our will.”
“Do you think he’ll believe you?” Number Seven whispers, her eyes hopeful.
“I don’t know, he might. He seemed really friendly,” I say, my voice hopeful.
“What if he never comes back?” Number Three asks.
“He was familiar with the place. I think he’s been here a few times.”
Number Twelve shifts beside me. “Why didn’t you tell him tonight?”
“It wasn’t the right time. I would have been caught out and punished. I can’t take any more punishment right now, and neither can any of you. If I seek his help, it has to be planned out properly. I have to find out more about him.”
They nod, and before we can say anything else, the door swings open, and Bill steps in.
“On your own beds,” he barks.
The girls scatter quickly, returning to their beds. He glares at us all for the longest moment, before turning and reaching outside the door. He rolls in our dinner cart and leaves it by the door, before growling, “Stay in your own beds, or I’ll chain you to them. Eat your dinner, shower, and then go to sleep. The master will be having more guests tomorrow evening, and the place is to be cleaned impeccably tomorrow. You’ll need all your strength.”
He’s having guests? My heart flutters.
He gives us one last look before leaving and slamming the door. We all slowly make our way over to the cart. When we reach it, Number Seven leans in. “He’s having guests.”
I nod, giving her a look, but not answering her. I take my tray and walk back to my bed, sitting down and placing it on the bedside table. I lift the lid, and stare down at the chicken pot-pie with a side salad. I pick at it, not able to eat as much as I’d like. I know the guards will get angry, but I just can’t force it down my throat without making myself sick. I subtly place the lid over the tray, turning my back towards the camera as I slip the glass of milk in, too.
I finish up the mouthful, and make out like I’m eating the rest, before getting up carrying the tray back to the cart, not darin
g to look at the camera and give myself away. I can only pray that they haven’t noticed. I’m sure they will have the groups clean the dishes tomorrow, so if they don’t look, then they won’t see that I’ve not finished. I move to the bathroom while the other girls eat, and I have a quick shower, enjoying the warm water that seems to soothe my body. I finish up, and then walk back to the bed, noticing that I’m nowhere near as exhausted tonight as I usually am after dinner.
I tuck myself under the sheets, and watch the other girls. Like every other night, they eat their food, drink their milk, and then shower quickly before quite literally passing out. I narrow my eyes, wondering why tonight I’m not feeling that pull into sleep. I close my eyes anyway, wondering if I’ve just got too much on my mind. I try to even out my breathing, but it doesn’t seem to lull me into sleep. I don’t open my eyes, because I know if I’m seen moving around I’ll only bring more trouble.
Finally, after a few hours, I drift off into a light sleep.
“If you move, I’ll hurt you,” a voice breathes into my ear.
He’s so heavy. I can’t breathe when he’s like this. I’m only small.
“If you stay still, it won’t take long. You should know this by now.”
I wake up panting, and sweat trickles down my forehead. I...dreamed. I haven’t had a dream since I can remember, and tonight one decided to surface. Bile rises in my stomach as something tugs at my heart. That dream...it seemed familiar, only I don’t really know how. I steady my breathing, and press a hand to my heart. I close my eyes and try to put together some fuzzy pictures in my head, but nothing is happening, and it only makes me frustrated. Why can’t I remember?
I hear the door creak, and my body quickly stiffens. Who is coming in?
I lie still in my bed, and listen as the door opens wider. I see Bill in the light from the hall. He walks over to Number Three’s bed and takes hold of her, lifting her out. He has her in his arms, like a baby, and she stirs, making groggy sounds. He leaves the room with her, and a sick feeling washes over me. Where is he taking her? Oh God, are we being raped in our sleep? Worse? I cringe, and lay with a pounding heart, just waiting for him to bring her back.
About an hour later he does.
Then he takes Number Seven.
I want to get out of my bed and rush over, seeing if the girls are okay, but I know if I move I’ll give myself away, and something is tugging at my heart strings, telling me that right now I need to witness whatever is happening here. I have to play along.
I wait, lying still as the guards go through the girls. When it’s my turn, I close my eyes and let my body flop as Bill lifts me from the bed and carries me out.
It takes all my strength not to pant and show my fear, but I can feel it coursing through my veins.
We get to a small room, and I hear the door creak open. It seems to get a touch darker when we step in, but not so dark that there’s no light at all. It must be a dull lamp. I keep my eyes closed, even though I want to open them. I feel myself being laid on what feels like a couch, and I work my entire body to make myself seem floppy. My heart is hammering. If they know I’m really awake, I might get taken away. Something bad might happen.
“This one is the strongest of the group. She has great determination. You’ll probably need to dig deeper with her.”
Master William? Oh God, he’s here.
“What we’re doing in here, William, isn’t a proven method. With the fragile minded, it tends to work better, but with those that are fighters, sometimes we are unsuccessful.”
“You’ve been successful so far.”
“Because they’re not fully aware of what’s happening they have no reason to fight it. But I cannot guarantee their memories will be kept at bay.”
“It’s working well with the other three girls.”
Other three? What about the other girls here in the house? Why only us?
“These four girls are the most broken; you’ve got reason to believe they don’t need their memories right now. The others in the group are stronger. They’re fully aware of their lives before this, so for them, this is somewhat of a luxury. With this group of four, it’s very different.”
This woman, she’s talking about our group. He didn’t pick us randomly on that first day, there was a reason our group was put together, and it appears it’s because he wants us to forget our lives. Why would anyone think they had the right to take someone’s memories? Why do the other girls get to remember? Why does he even have them? I don’t understand.
“Begin, so we can call it a night,” William orders.
“Okay, honey, wake up a little,” the woman says, stroking my cheeks.
I nearly just fling my eyes open, until I hear William say, “The sleeping drug in the milk we give them is quite powerful. Sometimes it takes a bit to rouse them, and even then they’re drowsy.”
Drugs in our milk. Oh God. That’s why I haven’t slept tonight, because I didn’t drink it.
If I did, I’d be drowsy.
I wouldn’t have remembered this.
They have to believe I’ve had my milk. I don’t know how the other girls acted, so how am I to know if I’m doing it right? I try to think about how I feel when the milk first begins to take an affect on me. My body feels fuzzy and weak, and my eyes get heavy. It’s hard to lift my head. So, with that in mind, I slowly open my hazy eyes but I keep my body floppy and weak.
“Good, now look at me.”
I see the woman in front of me, but only just. She comes across as hazy. She’s got long, blond hair and big blue eyes. She has a warm face, very gentle. She begins speaking softly to me, and, funnily enough, as if my body is aware of what she’s going to do, I start feeling a little hazy. I move my eyes as I begin to drift, and I catch a glimpse of William sitting in the corner. My heart stops beating.
He’s got his hand over half his face, like he’s leaning into it, and he’s staring down at a phone in his palm.
Seeing him like this makes my body feel tingly. He’s tall, just as I’d thought he was. He’s wearing a black suit, with a blue tie. It stretches across his hard, muscled form. His hair is thick, long, and hangs around his shoulders. I can’t see much of his face, but he lifts his gaze and the eye that’s not covered by his hand is beautiful; it’s as blue as the ocean. My breath hitches, and I make a strange little sound. His gaze meets mine, and for a split second we hold it, just staring at each other. He scrunches his brow, as if something isn’t quite right, before the lady begins capturing my attention again.
He has eyes I’ve seen before, but I don’t get a chance to think about where.
“Put your arms over your chest, Number Thirteen.”
I do as she asks, almost automatically. The moment I do, I seem to drift off into a trance-like state, and my entire body feels warm and content. I hear her instructing me to do things, and my body complies, even though I’m not asking it to. Then, I feel myself sink off into a deep, sleepy place when she orders me to calm down and relax.
I don’t wake again until the morning.
I don’t remember much.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
NUMBER THRITEEN
“Wake up, girls.”
I hear Bill’s voice, and I groan, shifting in my bed. It takes me a moment to adjust to my surroundings, and I remember that today is going to be a crazy, full-on day because Master William is having a dinner party. I sit up slowly, and while my back still feels stiff and sore in the mornings, it feels much better. My mind is quite hazy, and I’m struggling to figure out why. It feels like there are memories hanging right on the edge, needing to get out, like there’s something I should be remembering.
“Eat, get dressed, and then line up outside the door. We have a big day,” Bill says, then turns and walks out of the room.
I slowly rise, rubbing my forehead as I do. I stare at the other girls, all ruffled from sleep, running their hands over their faces. I feel strange this morning, and I can’t quite figure out why. Maybe I just h
ad a restless sleep. I try to remember if I did, but it seems hazy. I get flickers of the evening before. I recall not drinking my milk, and...my body freezes. They took us somewhere. I remember being taken somewhere.
I get out of bed and rush into the shower, shutting the door quickly. I put my head in my hands. Think! I try to figure out what happened, but the images only come through as hazy patches. I remember a woman, pretty. She spoke to me. She asked me questions, questions I don’t really remember. Then everything went dark. I don’t know why I was there. Why did they take us? I angrily rub my head, sick of not being able to remember what’s stored in my own brain. These memories are mine, and so help me God, I’ll fight to get them back.
The one thing I have pulled from all this is that the milk isn’t something I should drink. So from now on, I will make sure I don’t drink it. I’ll also be writing anything I remember down on the small notepad that’s in the drawer of my bedside table. I need to figure this out. I’m missing something here, something big. I need my memories back; I need to know who I am. Feeling my chest swell with determination, I strip off and get into the shower.
They won’t beat me.
~*~*~*~
NUMBER THIRTEEN
It’s the first time since we’ve been here that we’re all in a room together again. I stare at the other girls, and they so obediently stand, facing the front wall. Why are they like that? So weak? Following his every command. They’re not even trying to fight; they’re not even trying to get out of here. Why? Why would they just give in and let this happen? Maybe they’ve been beaten, too; maybe they’re scared. I don’t know, but I do know I can’t ever let myself look so...so...resolved.
Bill begins speaking in a loud, authoritative tone. I slowly turn my attention to him.
“There is a lot to be completed today, the house needs to be cleaned.”
