Me: I can’t tonight.
A: Why
Me: Because it’s late and I’m not leaving the kids alone
A: They’ll be fine. Won’t even know you’re gone.
That’s typical of a man, isn’t it? They don’t have the same instincts as a mother, who would never, ever dream of leaving her children unattended. What if there was a fire? An intruder? What if one of them had a bad dream and needed me, only to find my bed empty? I could never do that to them. My answer is a firm no.
A: Then I’ll come to you
This presents another dilemma. If I let him come to me, he’d cross paths with my kids, and it’s far too early into our—uncertain—relationship for meet and greets, especially at this hour.
Me: I can’t let you in. My kids aren’t allowed to meet you yet
A: That’s okay
A: I just need to kiss you
A: I need to bite those lips
My heart is racing as I reply, my mind working out the logistics, because I refuse to deny him. Hell, I refuse to deny myself.
Me: So you’re fine with coming all the way here just to stand outside and kiss me? Am I really worth the trouble?
A: Si Mami, you are.
Once again, he’s successfully sealed the deal. Such a smooth talker. I wonder if they teach classes for that, or if it comes naturally.
Me: I look like death
A: Show me
Me: No! Then you won’t show up lol
If he thinks I’m sending him a picture, he’s lost his damn mind.
A: You’re beautiful Mami
I sigh deeply.
Me: See you soon
Then I jump out of bed and rush to make myself passible.
I didn’t want to look as if I’d tried too hard, especially considering the late hour, so I stuck with pajamas, fluffed up my hair a bit, and put on some foundation. It’s not how I would prefer to see Alejandro, but it will have to do.
He rolls up in front of the house not twenty minutes later, driving an unmarked company van. I hop in, greeted instantly by his soft, alluring smile.
“Hey,” I breathe. It’s as if everything is suddenly right with the world again.
“Hi.” He turns off the engine and lights, and we’re left in the dark, the only illumination coming from a street lamp across the street, and the sound of rock music coming from his phone.
He turns in his seat, and I in mine, and we face each other. There’s nothing in the middle of the van to separate us, and he leaves his seat, dragging a wooden box from the open back section of the van forward to sit on. He does it so fast that, within seconds, he’s got my head in his hands in that way I love, and he’s kissing me.
Our tongues duel, tasting and savoring one another. I clasp his face in my hands as his begin to roam between my legs and under my shirt. As always, Alejandro is a take-charge kind of man. He goes after what he wants, and I so admire that about him.
I let him lead the way, set the pace. It’s no surprise when he lifts my shirt and breaks away from the kiss to wrap his lips around my breast. He’s a boob man, I think. And that’s fine by me.
I kiss the side of his neck, stroke his head, and lavish in his touch. While his mouth is on my breast, his hand sneaks down the front of my pants. I open my legs wider, allowing him full, unobstructed access. His fingers feel perfect inside me, and he knows exactly how I like to be touched, just what it will take to send me soaring.
Dropping to his knees on the hard metal floor, Alejandro fits himself between my thighs. He’s everywhere, his body warm and strong and the perfect damn fit. Unable to stand it any longer, I bring his face back to mine, needing to taste those luscious lips of his that I can never seem to get enough of.
Maybe I should have brought him into the house… But even as the thought passes through my gray matter, I know it wouldn’t be a wise idea. I need to be absolutely sure he’s sticking around before I can do that. It’s one thing to risk my own heart, and another to risk that of my children.
One thing I will never do is put another person above them, as their own father has. So I take what I can when I can until I think the situation warrants something more.
As the heat between us rises, Alejandro periodically scans the street and the house. He’s worried about someone seeing us, whereas I’ve been so wrapped up in him that I’ve barely considered it.
Pushing the box back, he sits down and draws me in to follow, until I’m on my knees before him, our positions reversed, and we’re blanketed in shadows. He’s wearing shorts, and as he continues kissing and fingering me, my hands sneak their way up his thighs, beneath the silky material.
This man has me crazed with need, and I’ve only been with him for twenty minutes, give or take. How does he do this to me? How does he make me go out of my mind with lust with just a look? Hell, just his voice, a text, even. I swear he’s cast some voodoo spell on me. I’ve never in my life felt so damn out of control, as if I’d take any risk without a second thought.
Just like the first time at the hotel, he takes hold of one of my hands and wraps my fingers around his shaft. And just like last time, I didn’t even notice him free himself. He’s so aggressive, and I love it. I stroke him as he does me, and kiss him as he kisses me, drinking each other in, absorbing ourselves.
A light washes over us through the windshield, and for a brief moment, we glance up with glazed eyes. A car drives past in the dark of the night, cutting through the silence of the otherwise sleepy street. Then it’s just us again.
Alejandro scoots the box and by default, us, back a couple more inches, and with a playful, knowing smile, our lips crash together again.
He kisses his way down my jaw, my neck, across my collarbone. Pulling my nightshirt aside, he kisses and licks my shoulder and then makes his way back to my mouth. Between us, his hands move away to do something, but I’m too preoccupied to worry what. I know soon enough when he knocks my hand away long enough to roll on a condom. Then, without preamble, he grabs hold of my hips and stands me up, turning me around in the process. I feel my pants slide down over my hips, but he’s careful to keep the front of me covered in case there are prying eyes about.
I grab hold of a metal bar that forms a cage separating the front of the van from the back as he grabs his cock and angles himself. With his guidance, I ease down, taking him inside me.
Just as I had in the rental car a few days ago, I reach back and grip the back of his neck, holding him close. He’s bracing himself on the edge of the box, and I’m holding the bulk of my weight up by the bar overhead. As he pushes up into me, I rock back into him, and together we create a rhythm as old as time.
Briefly, I wonder, what is it about us and cars and sex? Maybe it’s because that’s where it all started for us, where the chemistry first exploded. The who, when, and why aren’t important to me though. Feeling alive, however, is—and that’s exactly how I feel when we’re together.
It’s hard to hold my weight with arms that have never been able to perform a simple pull-up, but I somehow manage. Alejandro is holding his own odd angle, leaning back and working his hips in such limited space. Nothing about this is comfortable, but we’re determined to make it work.
He says something in Spanish that I don’t catch, his voice so soft it gets lost in the music and the rustle of clothing and heavy breathing. I’d ask what he said, but it’s of no consequence. If it was a request, he’ll take what he wants eventually.
“You hear me?” he asks, and I shake my head no. No, I did not. He doesn’t repeat himself, either.
When my legs begin to tire and my bicep starts to burn, Alejandro, with his ever-perfect timing, urges me up and we both stand. He takes a step back and guides me farther into the back with him. Grabbing hold of the bar once again, I bend over, giving him the best angle to slide into me. It’s perfect, allowing him to go deep in long, smooth strokes.
His hand joins mine, bracing himself as he reaches around to rub circles over my clit. A lo
w, keening sound escapes my lips, and my leg quivers at his touch. Gripping his wrist, I feel the muscles and tendons flex as he works me over, and I am once again struck by how much this man affects me.
Headlights sweep over the van again as yet another car passes down the street. The distraction is short-lived, and not nearly enough to give either of us pause. If anything, the danger of getting caught just heightens the sensations.
Glimpsing his hand beside mine, skin several shades darker, veins standing out in stark relief, makes me weak, and I dip down to give a wet, lingering kiss to the back of it. I want to kiss him everywhere. Lick him everywhere. We just never seem to be in the right place with enough time to cover all the bases.
Just like in the rental car, I’m so wet he has a hard time keeping up his pace without slipping out, and as the heat level begins to rise and the air grows humid, our legs also begin to tire, and Alejandro slows to a reluctant stop, proclaiming his need to switch things up.
Good, me too. My legs are on fire and my hamstrings have reached their limits. I don’t care how much exercise I get. Sex and routine exercise are two totally different animals.
He resumes his seat on the box at our feet, leaning back against the metal caging that runs floor to ceiling, and draws me down to straddle him. Immediately, he wraps himself around me, adjusting my pants around my thighs and entering me in one fluid thrust as he buries his face in the crook of my neck. I hold him to me in return, closing my eyes as I focus on developing a rhythm that will suit us both.
It’s impossible, this position. Straddling him, my legs are too short for my feet to fully touch the floor, so my toes keep slipping. As much as he tries to help the situation, it’s not working out well. We’re sloppy, like a couple of teenagers trying to work out the logistics of first-time sex, but neither one of us are anywhere close to virgins.
I’d laugh if I wasn’t so frustrated. What I wouldn’t give for a bed!
Without notice, Alejandro bands his arm around my back and lifts us both up. I latch onto his neck and he sweeps one of my legs around his waist while I automatically do the same with the other. Then I’m on my back, resting on the box, and he’s overtop of me. It only took a matter of seconds to get here, and his body never once left mine. If I had time to be impressed by this man’s skills, I’d sing his praises, but he’s already moving.
Lying on a hard, wooden box is not exactly comfortable. In fact, I’m sure my tailbone will be sporting bruises come morning, but being the thoughtful and considerate man he is, Alejandro holds me close to his body, protecting me from the worst of it. And soon, any discomfort I feel is forgotten.
As Alejandro slides into me again and again, I’m transported back to that night in the hotel—the first time we met. This is so reminiscent, yet even more intense, if such a thing is possible. My climb toward release catches me off-guard, and this time, I’m thankful there won’t be any need to stop.
“Oh, God, I’m going to come,” I gasp as I clutch his shoulders and give myself over to the powerful sensations.
Every muscle in Alejandro’s body tenses, and I know he’s on the verge of release as well. Tucking my face into his shoulder, I unleash a moan of pleasure as my orgasm barrels down on me, and it’s only intensified when I feel Alejandro swell within me and he releases a guttural moan of his own.
5
Just as before, Alejandro and I sit and hold one another as we come down from the sex high. The passion has faded for the moment, both of us sated. Thoughts of bringing him inside, into my home, plague me. I wish so badly that he could stay here, in this state, instead of returning to his own. I want more than anything to have full, uninterrupted access to him, but I know that right now, it’s impossible.
We both have lives that need tending. Whereas I have a job that allows me total flexibility, he does not. For the time being, I have to be satisfied with what time we can steal with one another, unless or until either he or I can relocate.
Plus, it’s too early yet. We haven’t been together long enough to make such a permanent leap.
Are we even together?
In my heart, yes, we are. The moment I returned his declaration of love, there was no other man for me. Which is why I will never be able to understand how someone—like my husband—can run around having sex with random strangers. How do they live with themselves? The guilt and shame alone would be enough to kill me. It speaks volumes to their character, their dishonest, disloyal nature making them the ugliest of God’s creatures.
Wrapped tight around Alejandro, I lean back and gaze into those shimmering brown eyes and see only beauty. Honesty. I imagine he’s as stripped bare as I feel, completely open to me as I am to him.
This is why I get lost in Alejandro. When I look at him, I feel as though I’m seeing into his soul. He’s genuine—a rare and prized commodity in this modern world.
“What are you going to do when you get back home?” I ask him, my fingers flirting with the collar of his T-shirt.
His hands skim a path up and down my sides and he blows out a breath. “Sleep. Work. What about you? What you going to do when I’m gone?”
Smirking, I say, “Sleep. Work.”
He smiles briefly, finding humor in my words as I intended him to. Then his expression falls and he traces a finger across my abdomen. “When do you find out for sure?”
I don’t need to ask to understand his meaning. The question of the pregnancy test I took a few weeks ago is a constant factor in my daily life. “I have an appointment in a few days. I should know then.”
“What are you going to do if you are?”
Now it’s my turn to breathe deep. “I don’t know. I wasn’t exactly planning on having more kids right now.” Hell, neither of us were.
“Would you abort?”
Instantly, I make a face. “No. God no.”
“So, you’d want a Latin baby?”
I smile softly and lean forward to place a soft kiss on his lips, then I whisper, “Yes.” The background of a child—my child—doesn’t matter to me, especially if it’s his. Hell, in my current state of mind, I’d have a dozen with Alejandro and wouldn’t think twice about it. It’s all about where the heart resides, and mine is firmly with him.
“I think you are,” he says, and we both look down at my stomach.
“Mmm, no, I don’t think so.”
“You’re going to be changing diapers soon.” I arch an eyebrow, and he quickly revises. “Okay, okay, we both will.”
Pursing my lips, I relent, because I have enough experience by now to know that he’s relentless. Plus, he’s too cute for words. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say.”
“Ah, Mami, you not mad at me, are you?” I shrug and he chuckles. Sitting up, he starts kissing the side of my neck saying, “You can’t be mad. It’s too soon.”
I’m not mad, and we both know it, but I continue playing along. “I should smack you.”
“Why such violence?” he says, his voice shaking with laughter.
“Fine, I won’t smack you,” I relent. “I’ll just kiss you really aggressively, and we’ll have angry make-up sex.”
A deep, purr-like sound rumbles in his chest and he tips his head back to peer into my eyes. “Mmm, I like the sound of that.”
So do I. And considering the fire burning in his eyes, I’m so glad I suggested it. We fool around a bit more, taking and giving pleasure to one another, then holding and talking afterward. When the quiet morning hours begin to weigh heavily, we part ways with the promise of more to come.
It kills me knowing that he won’t be here when I wake up, and that promise is all that gets me through the days ahead. The distance is killer, chewing away at the mind, heart, and soul and the only thing that buoys me are our frequent-but-not-nearly-enough texts.
I’m texting back and forth with Jean, my best friend since grade school, the following week while sitting in the waiting room at the local courthouse. Mark is in the bathroom—nervous pees, apparently—while we wait
for the caseworker to call us back and set child support.
Me: Test results will be back in a couple days.
J: That’s too long! I need to know now!!!
Me: lol Well we’re gonna have to wait missy
J: :’(
J: What does Alejandro have to say about this?
Me: He seems okay with it?
J: I still can’t believe he came back. I thought for sure he was gone forever
Me: Me too
J: Are you relieved?
Me: Hellz yeah!
J: Me too. I thought I was going to have to hire a hitman.
Me: lmao
J: My bank acct wouldn’t have liked that very much
Me: Well I’m glad you don’t have to do that
J: Yep
J: So how do you feel? Are you still spotting? What did the doc say about that?
My attempt to reply is cut short when Mark suddenly drops into the seat next to mine and says, “What’s going on with Jean? She sick or something?”
It’s then I realize he’s read my text. For as quickly as he gleaned that information, he must have snuck up from behind and read our conversation before sitting down, something that’s not uncommon with him. Whenever I’m on my phone, Mark becomes a creeper, leaning in and around, trying to see who I’m talking to and what about. I try to keep it from sight whenever he’s around, but sometimes, like now, he sneaks up on me.
I clench my teeth, wanting to lay into him, but this isn’t the time nor place for an argument. I get ready to tell him it’s none of his business, not wanting him involved in any part of my life that doesn’t include the kids, but then I remember the way he cried after finding out about me and Alejandro, and an evil part inside of me wants to see it happen again.
Mami: Based on a True Story Page 3
