She felt good. More than good. Almost...perfect. Never had he had a woman take all he had to give.
She was not afraid of his wilder needs. When he told her to give him more, she had without question, without hesitation. Even Isabela-No, he would not think of his wife while in bed with another woman. It was disrespectful to them both. He could only conclude that Heidi’s acceptance of him and his sexual demand was due to the shifter blood running through her veins. Although she might not be able to shift, she was just a little bit wild herself.
The thought made him smile.
She sighed, a sound of pure contentment. Her feather-soft hair tickled his cheek and chin. Her sweet scent filled his senses. Her slick pussy, still surrounding his softening cock, fluttered every now and then, and he vowed it would not be long until he filled her again.
“How’s your leg?” Heidi asked, her voice soft and a little sleepy.
Truthfully, it ached some, but he would not admit this to her. He didn’t want her to move. He was healing well and would be ready to leave within forty-eight hours, in his estimation. With a non-committal sound, he ran his hands up her back, into her hair, and lifted her head. “Kiss me.”
She did, without hesitation, her tongue slipping between his lips to stroke his. Her cunt spasmed around him, and his cock jumped. When she laughed into his mouth, there was no way to keep in his smile of pleasure. Perhaps he’d needed this respite from the hunt, the chase, the mission that had consumed him for the past two years. He was not finished, and as soon as he could drive he would leave Leavenworth, leave Heidi. Until then, he would drown himself in her and let her heal his wounds. All of them.
Perhaps he would never be a father, a husband, but maybe he could enjoy the life he had. Heidi’s fathers had spoken of going on with life after losing their woman. Once Durchenko was dead and buried, Javier could return to a normal life, a job that occupied his time, a woman warm and willing to share his bed. Some woman who, like Heidi, would accept his needs. With no mate, no siblings, he wouldn’t need to ever reveal his true self.
He did not wish to replace his Isabela; that was not something that could ever be done. But now he realized that if he were to continue living after he’d dispatched Durchenko, he could not do it alone.
He was no rogue. He had loved. Perhaps he’d never love anyone the way he had his mate, but lying here, wrapped in Heidi’s warmth, he knew if he had to live out his life alone, without the softness of a woman’s body, of a woman’s heart, there would be no point in breathing.
Heidi slowly pulled away from his mouth and, resting her forearms on his chest, gazed down at him with those beautiful eyes. “You’re hard again.”
“I am.” He cupped her ample, lovely ass cheeks in his hands and pressed her against him. “And you are very wet.”
She grinned and dipped her head but brought her gaze right back to his. “You make me that way.
Just a kiss from you and...” With a little shake of her head, she laughed. “You’re different from anyone I’ve known.”
“Because I am the only shifter you have met you are not related to?”
“No. Yes, that’s true. But no, that’s not the reason.” She skimmed her fingers over his chin and down his neck. “You’re very handsome.”
“There are no handsome men in all of Leavenworth?”
She laughed, and the sweet sound made him smile.
“You are also very large, very muscular...” She ran her hand over his shoulder and squeezed, “...and have a sexy accent.”
He smirked. “Please. Continue.”
“You also aren’t afraid of...” Her smile faded, and she swallowed hard. With a slight shrug, she said, “My family intimidates most men.”
“You think they do not intimidate me?” He touched her cheek with the backs of his fingers.
Her brow wrinkled. “But you faced down Axel without so much as a flinch.”
A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest, and he pushed her wild mane over her shoulder. “Ah, chata, I am injured. If Axel, or even the smallest of your brothers wished to tangle with me, I fear I would lose. That does not mean I will willingly submit or dare admit to them that I am unable to stand against a fight. I would fight to the death even knowing the outcome would not be in my favor. It is our way. And you, silly woman, should never have tried to come between us. You could get yourself hurt doing that.”
She tweaked his nipple, hard, making him jump and grab her wrist. “Don’t you call me silly. Axel’s my brother. He wouldn’t have hurt me. You two were facing off like a couple of tomcats fighting over a dead fish.”
Surely someone brought up in that household would understand the hierarchy. Understand why he refused to accept Axel as his alpha, when he was one in his own right.
Then again, perhaps not. “Did your brothers ever fight for dominance?”
Still scowling at him, she pressed her lips together in thought. “They used to fight a lot when they were younger. And last year there were some fights when Beth came into the family, but that was because she could have outted us.”
“I do not understand what you mean by ‘outted.’”
“She’s a geneticist specializing in big cat research.”
Javier’s lips parted in surprise.
“Yeah. It was pretty tense for a while, but she came through, saved Sindre’s life and hid the truth of the family.”
“That is how you found out I was not just a jaguar.”
“Right. Any big cat blood she can get her hands on, she has to run through her computer. Your chromosomes came back like my brothers’, not like a jaguar’s—or any other cat.”
“I am lucky I was shot in your town.”
“Yes, very lucky.” She placed a soft kiss on his jaw. “But you’re not hard anymore.”
“Perhaps you should do something about that,” he suggested, suddenly feeling very fortunate indeed. Her inner muscles fluttered around his cock, and he sighed. “You are a very sexy woman, Heidi Falke.”
She nibbled his earlobe. “Touch me, Javier. Touch me and say my name again in that sexy accent.”
He cupped her ass in his hands and pressed her down, grinding her clit against his pubic bone. She gasped. “Heidi,” he whispered, kissing her cheek. “Heidi.” He kissed her neck. “Heidi.” He sucked her flesh between his teeth and nipped, the odd urge to bite down harder, to mark her, nudging at him.
No.
He would never mate again.
He resisted by moving back to her mouth and kissing her. His cock surged to fullness when her moans filled his ears, and she gripped his neck while thrusting her hips against him.
“Ohhh... Javier....”
Cast be damned, he rolled with her, pinning her beneath him. He gripped her thighs and jerked them up against his sides so he could take her more fully.
She cried out and dug her nails into his shoulders at the same time wrapping her legs around his waist.
“You will take more.” He bit at the fragrant, tender flesh of her shoulder, the side of her neck.
“Yes... More...”
He slammed into her. The bed knocked against the wall. She circled her hips as if trying to get even more of him.
Madre de Dios. She was perfect. He fucked her as he’d never fucked another woman. Hard, deep, watching her face for signs of pain, of discomfort. But when her eyes squeezed tight, her mouth opened on an almost silent scream and her cunt muscles pulsed around him, he knew he pleased her.
“Again,” he demanded the instant her body began to relax from the climax. “Again.” Reaching beneath her, he grabbed her ass in one hand and squeezed.
“I...can’t... Oh...God....”
He pressed his middle finger against her anus.
“Javier! What are you—” He drove into her fast, their flesh slapping, sweat slicking their bodies. “You will come again, Heidi.” He pressed his finger past the tight ring of muscle into her ass.
Heidi bucked beneath him, and she screamed, every
muscle in her body tightening with the force of the climax. Her cunt squeezed him, and he shouted. He saw stars dance around beautiful Heidi’s face.
Blood roared in his ears. Still he drove into her, harder, faster, pumping his finger into her ass.
“Please,” she screamed.
“Again!”
On a harsh sob, she thrust against him, seemingly out of control, but her pussy contracted and she gasped. Tears streamed from her eyes to her hair, and she gripped his shoulders until her body went lax beneath him, her chest rising and falling, her heart thudding against his chest.
Madre de Dios, she would kill him before he was healed enough to leave.
Chapter Nine
Javier’s stomach tightened, his instincts buzzing that something was very, very wrong as he nudged the door open with the toe of his boot. Another smell hit him then. Rank, rancid. Some kind of animal, but nothing he’d ever scented before.
Silence from within the house. He pushed the door open farther. Damn, he wished he had his sidearm on him. Isabela didn’t like weapons in the house, and only Juan was allowed to wear one home, since he was with the police department.
The scent of death grew stronger as Javier carefully made his way through the house, keeping walls to his back, checking each room he passed. That scent, urine, he now realized, nearly gagged him. It seemed to cover the furniture.
A bloody paw print in the hallway. Not his brother’s. Too small, the pads too round.
What the fuck?
Their bedroom door was open, and the sight that greeted him made him turn away as he gagged.
Javier, he heard his brother say through their telepathic connection.
He jerked back and dashed into the room, falling to his knees on the floor next to Juan, desperately trying to not look at the bloodied, tortured body of his wife on the bed. His brother was in his cat, and blood pooled on the floor from deep eviscerating wounds in his stomach.
“Who did this?” His eyes stinging, his stomach unsettled, Javier wanted to help his brother, but it was too late. Too much blood loss. His brother’s entrails... He laid a hand on Juan’s neck, digging his fingers into his fur to feel for a heartbeat. It was slow, too slow and thready. His brother, his twin, was dying.
Lev Ivanovich Durchenko, Juan said, the telepathic words weak. Our wife, our children... I failed to protect them... His brother sobbed and gasped for air. Kill the shifter bastard... Kill him slowly...
“Juan. Juan,” Javier shouted, desperately seeking a pulse in Juan’s throat with both hands, but it was too late. His brother exhaled his last breath, and his eyes stared into nothingness.
Agony such as Javier had never known descended on him. A long, tortured cry ripped from his throat as he laid his forehead against his brother’s furry cheek.
* * *
Heidi was just pulling on her skirt over her shower-dampened skin when she heard Javier shout. She jerked open the bathroom door to see him on the bed, gripping a pillow to his chest, sobbing as he cried out for someone named Juan.
Rushing to the bed, she laid her hand against his arm. His muscles were coiled tight, his chest heaving with his sobs.
“Javier.” She shook his arm. “Wake up.”
With a shout, he surged into a seated position, staring at her with crazed, pain-filled eyes spilling over with tears. Her heart pinched as she touched his damp cheek.
“Hey. It’s okay. You’re safe.”
He swallowed loudly and swiped the back of his hand over his eyes. When he looked at her again, his expression was closed, all signs of weakness gone. “You are leaving,” he said, looking her up and down.
“I’m hungry and figured you would be too when you woke up. I was just going to run out for some sandwiches and drinks.” She laid her hand over the arm still gripping the pillow to his chest.
He glanced down, seemed to realize he was hugging the pillow and tossed it away. Staring across the room toward the window, he said, “Thank you. Yes. I am hungry.”
“Javier...”
He shook his head. “Not this moment, chata. Please.” He swallowed again. “I cannot.”
“Okay.” Heidi stood and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”
He nodded but refused to glance at her.
Her heart aching for him, she grabbed the key card off the top of the television and slipped on her sandals. “Soda okay to drink?”
“I am not particular. Water would be good.”
“Okay.” Quietly, she slipped out of the room and checked to make sure the door closed tightly behind her.
She wanted to know his story, wished to God he’d open up to her. From the little he’d shared with Axel last night, she knew he somehow lost his mate and brother. She could only assume that Isabela was his wife and Juan was his brother. However they died must have been traumatic to elicit such horrendous nightmares that someone as strong as he seemed would shed tears.
She couldn’t remember ever seeing any of her brothers cry except for when they lost their mother.
Heidi wished she were still alive. She could really use some motherly advice right about now. There was a huge heart buried under that big, muscular chest of Javier’s, and Heidi feared she would never be able to get through to him.
His wounds ran deep, and some scars not even a vet could heal.
Regardless of his past heartaches, or the dangers of caring too much for a patient, she suspected she was falling for him even though she knew how foolish that would be. He’d sworn to Axel that as soon as he was physically able, he would leave Leavenworth. A promise from one alpha to another. Not for a second did she doubt the sincerity of his word.
The drive from the hotel to Subway wasn’t long. She probably should have walked it and given herself time to think more about the smartness of going back to Javier’s hotel room and spending the night with him. Part of her wanted to stay—a huge part of her—because she knew there was no way she’d ever find another man that made her feel the way he did. The sexual chemistry was so amazing it scared her.
But so too did his vulnerable side, the part of him he tried so hard to hide. He’d been hurt, but his alpha nature demanded he show no weakness. That had to be why he refused to open up about his past.
And she had to accept the fact that there could be no future with him as long as he clung to the past, regardless of how sexually well-suited they were.
“Oh my god!” She gasped, bypassing the sandwich shop and heading to the mini mart another half mile down the road. She’d had unprotected sex with a shifter. She had no way of knowing if they were biologically compatible enough to produce children together, but there was a chance with him...unlike her previous human lovers.
She’d never had to worry too much about the risk of pregnancy before, but Javier was no average human male. How could she have forgotten that even for a second?
She ran into the store straight to the condom aisle and grabbed a box. A wave of emotion hit her, and she had to stop and drag in a deep breath when her eyes threatened to tear up. Her hand settled over her abdomen, and she imagined a baby, two, three. Babies with Javier’s eyes and her hair, his dark skin.
She grew up knowing she’d never be a mom. Her mother had done her best to present the facts gently. In all their family’s history, there’d only been one female shifter who produced offspring.
She’d married a distant cousin of hers, another shifter. It was the only way then and now. But as rare as female shifters were, lone males were not exactly easy to locate either. And after her ancestors had fled to the New World, the odds of finding any outside one’s own family was impossible, or so it had seemed. There had been no other shifters known to them for a couple generations. As far as they’d known, the Falkes were the only shifters left in the world. Until Javier.
Heidi stared at the box of condoms in her hand.
What if they were compatible?
She could have children with him.
But he was leaving.
She didn’t need a man to raise kids. She lived with her dads, and they’d welcome more grandchildren no matter how they came to be. They’d love more babies in the house. They never wanted Dakota to take the triplets home.
She set the box of condoms back on the shelf but couldn’t stop staring at it. Could she do that to Javier? With his brother and mate both dead, Javier might never become a father. What if she was the only female with shifter blood in the world? She might be his only chance too. Did he want children?
She couldn’t answer that question, only he could, and he wasn’t even ready to answer all of the other questions she had about him, his past...
He was leaving.
Could she let him impregnate her and never tell him?
No. She couldn’t. It wasn’t fair. No matter how much the thought of being a mom made her want to throw caution to the four winds, she couldn’t deceive Javier.
They might be each other’s only chance at parenthood, but that must be a decision made together, openly, willingly and without deception.
She picked up the box again, grabbed a six-pack of water bottles, a six-pack of soda and paid.
She was back at the door of his hotel room in less than a half hour. When she opened the door, she heard the shower running. Carrying the bags of food, cola and water toward the coffee table at the other end of the room, she tripped over something on the floor at the foot of the bed, almost falling on the sandwiches.
Javier’s cast sat in shredded pieces on the floor. Shaking her head, she put down the bags then picked up the pieces of plaster and tossed them in the trash can. She knocked on the partially open bathroom door. “I’m back with food.”
The water shut off, and she went to the small sofa to unwrap a couple of sandwiches. Javier came out of the bathroom, water droplets trickling down his gorgeous chest, a white towel wrapped around his waist. He limped his way to the sofa and sat next to her, raising his injured leg onto the end of the coffee table.
“Go on,” he said.
She raised her attention from the puckered scar on his thigh, exposed by the gap in the towel, to his eyes. “Go on, what?”
Falke’s Renegade pn-3 Page 9
