“Maybe even thinking about dating Dillon is a bad idea. I’m way too fucked up to have a relationship.”
“It will get easier and you will find someone you can share your fears and nightmares with. You just need to take baby steps.”
“Thank you, Caleb.”
I laid there thinking about what he said. I knew he was right but I wondered how long it would be before I was OK enough to let someone in. Could that be Dillon? Did I want to chance it? So many fears and worries, and I hadn’t even talked to him yet. I was getting ahead of myself and fearing a relationship that wasn’t even there yet.
Chapter 4
The week flew by with training, and Friday was here before I knew it. It was nice that my group was doing so well and I could help others get up to speed before opening night. That’s all we needed was added stress of training and opening. Marcus seemed to keep his distance, but only slightly. I would notice him looking at me but he didn’t make any more advances.
I didn’t have to work until four this evening, so I relaxed a bit before my shift. Thankfully tonight would mostly be reservations and VIP tables for the grand opening. I spent the morning getting caught up on cleaning, running errands, and doing laundry. I think I was trying to busy myself and avoid thinking of Dillon as he was still a nightly visitor to my dreams. They have become so intense I would find myself waking up to see if he was beside me. I couldn’t explain why he was driving me so crazy.
As I rounded the corner to the produce aisle at Chambers, my body registered his presence before I saw him. It was like everything about him called to me. As if sensing I was there, his eyes shot up to meet mine. Somehow, he had a direct line to my inner goddess because she was at full attention. I felt my cheeks warm and my panties soak all at the same time, as all my dreams raced through my mind.
“Afternoon Josilyn,” he said with a nod.
“Oh. Um, hi Dillon,” I stuttered. “How are you?”
“Good. How have you been feeling?”
“Great. Thanks again for everything.”
A curious look crossed his face as he replied. “It was no problem. Well, I better get going. See you later. Are you coming by the club tonight?”
“Um, I don’t know. I work tonight and its opening night. I’m not sure how I’ll feel.”
“OK. Well then, I’ll see you around.” He sounded disappointed, but smiled as he walked away.
I couldn’t believe I felt and sounded like a shy school girl when we spoke. All I needed to be doing, was twirling my hair in my hands and chewing gum.
“Caleb, give me a hand with these,” I called as I walked through the door.
“Goodness woman did you buy the whole store?”
“No, I was nervous shopping.
“You’ll be fine, why are you nervous?”
“I ran into Dillon at the store and basically acted like a school girl talking to her high school crush. It was embarrassing.”
He laughed and patted my head like a dog. “Silly girl. Just ask him out already. Get one date under your belt, before you have a sexual break down. You are going to explode if you continue to bottle all that up.” He gestured to my whole body. “I know for a fact you aren’t handling yourself.”
“I just don’t know if I’m ready and how do you know I don’t diddle my piddle?”
“Did you really just say ‘diddle my piddle’? I know because my room is right next to yours and the walls are thin.” He stuck his tongue out at me. I laughed, knowing he was right. He grabbed his work bag and walked over to me. “Have a great first night tonight. I’m going to Jake’s after work. Text me when you get home,” he said opening the door. “And please take it easy. You’re not superwoman, and you’re not fully recovered.”
“Yes, mom. I love you, have a good night.”
***
“OK crew, the doors open in an hour. Servers if you have any questions, see Marcus or Josilyn. Let’s get the service stations ready,” Marissa said.
“OK servers, you know your sections. Josilyn, I’ll give you heads up, I’m setting up several VIPs in your section. As you are all aware we are booked solid, so I expect to see you busy, always. Are there any questions?” Marcus asked.
When no one spoke up, we started our prep. I was looking forward to a busy night. It would distract me, which is exactly what I wanted. My first VIP table came in at seven.
“Hi, I’m Josilyn, I’ll be your server. May I take your drink order?”
“Josi?” the gentleman asked, looking up at me.
My cheeks flush as I realize who he is.
“Remember me? Cameron James. When went to school together, until you moved after.” He stopped suddenly, probably trying to remember why I moved. “I’m sorry. How have you been? When did you move back?”
I tried to find my voice. I had a small crush on him when we were in elementary school. “Um I’ve been back about two months, and I’ve been good, thanks.”
I could already tell his date wasn’t liking the attention he was giving me. “Hi, yes, I’ll have a gin and tonic,” she interrupted.
I pulled myself out of my daze and tried to concentrate. “I’m sorry. Yes, and for you CJ?”
He smiled. “Brandy, straight up.”
I nodded and left.
“OMG is that Cameron James?” Stacey, one of the other servers asked.
I nodded.
“Lucky. He’s so hot. I wonder if I could get a pic?” she asked.
“Let’s not, ok? I know this is your first job but trust me it wouldn’t look good. He’s a paying customer and you need to respect that,” I admonished her. She huffed at me and walked toward the kitchen. I know I should have said it nicer, but it annoyed me when people did that.
I caught Cameron peeking glances at me throughout his dinner. I couldn’t help but blush each time. As I went to clear their plates, I caught part of their conversation.
“Cameron, why don’t we go out after this. Unless you’d rather take me home?” Blondie said, stroking his forearm. Cameron peeked up at me as I picked up his check.
“It’s early, we’ll go out,” he said standing.
I felt a pang of disappointment that he was leaving. I needed to get laid. All these hot guys are doing a number on me, and I don’t like it.
By eleven, the last customer was walking out.
“It was a good night, ladies and gentlemen. A few hiccups, but nothing we couldn’t manage. I’ll see you all tomorrow evening.” Marissa commended us all when the night was over. It was as I began cashing out my checks that I saw Cameron’s ticket.
Call me sometime. I’d like to catch up. 555-5649901. He wrote.
And there was a $100 tip. I couldn’t believe it.
“Nice job tonight,” Marcus said walking over. “Who is that from?” He was looking at my ticket.
“Oh, one of my tables was an old friend of mine,” I said while I cashed it out.
“Oh cool. Hey, want to grab a drink after we finish cleaning up?”
I was exhausted, but a drink sounded good.
“Sure. I have a friend at Jake’s. Mind if we go there?”
“Sounds good to me,” he said, turning his attention back to cashing out tickets.
It was midnight when we were finally done, and I was ecstatic at the tips I’d made. Five hours of work and $517 later, I was ready to celebrate. I don’t know if it was a buzz from a great night’s work or what, but I was ready to go. A couple of the other servers decided to come with us.
The rain didn’t deter the crowd at Jake’s. “Great, we’ll be standing here all night and I’ll be drenched,” Desi complained.
I quickly led them to the front of the line. Zach just smiled and nodded. After he checked their ID’s, he let us thru.
“I guess it pays to know people,” she said as she laughed, looking over at the line. We weren’t going to end up friends as I hated people who rubbed things into other people’s faces.
Before I even made it to the bar, I could
feel him. It was like an electric current coursing thru me. Dillon was tucked away in the corner, but I found him instantly. His body was practically a beacon to my own. I was a bit disappointed when he didn’t look over at me, despite the attraction I knew was between us. I knew he was working, but I hoped me being here would get some acknowledgement. Just one look into those eyes was all I wanted.
“Trevor, babe. Drinks,” I called turning my attention to the bar. He wasted no time with our order.
“Did you text Caleb?” he asked as he took my money.
“She most certainly did not. I’m hurt. Who are your friends?” Caleb said, being overly dramatic.
“Caleb, these are a few of my coworkers. You remember Marcus, this is Desi, and Ryan. Guys, this is my best friend and roommate, Caleb.”
He shook their hands and ushered us to his table. “So, tell me about your first night,” he asked.
Before I started, Desi and Ryan left for the dance floor and I soon noticed Marcus moving closer and I got uncomfortable. “It went great. We were packed all night. Guess who I ran into? Cameron James.”
Caleb eyes widened and he smiled devilishly. “Is he still just as gorgeous in person as he used to be?”
I nodded. “He wants me to call him,” I said showing him the paper I ripped off.
“Well do it,” he said with a smile. “I Think you’re ready to loosen the reigns and maybe he’d be perfect.”
“I thought you said Dillon would be perfect,” I reminded him.
“Well at this point, I’d be happy if you gave Bob the time of day,” he joked and I smacked his arm.
Marcus slowly moved closer, but thankfully Caleb decided it was time to dance and dragged me along with him. “Dillon can’t keep his eyes of you,” Caleb said with a knowing smile.
“Funny, because when I walked in he didn’t even acknowledge me,” I scowled.
“That’s not fair, he’s working,” he scorned.
“Make up your mind, Dillon or Cameron.”
“It’s not me who has to make up their mind. It’s you.”
“I know, I know. Baby steps.”
“What’s up with that Marcus guy?”
“Just friends and I should probably tell him that so he understands.”
“Ya Think?”
Suddenly I felt a pair of hands on my waist.
“Care if I join you?” Marcus asked, moving closer.
I was taken aback when I felt the extent of his pleasure pressed against me. Shocked, I could only nod. Caleb scolded me with his eyes as we continued dancing. I figured he got the same weird vibe from Marcus as I did. I couldn’t concentrate on Marcus when I had my mind on a couple of other people.
As one song ended, I turned to face him. “Thanks for dancing with me. I’m going to grab a drink,” I said as I moved away.
He grabbed my wrist quickly and pulled me close. “Don’t be long, beautiful.”
I know the shock registered on my face when I struggled a little and then pulled back. “I don’t appreciate being grabbed. So, if you don’t mind letting go…”
He still held my wrist. A weird smile graced his face, and I was instantly uneasy about being close to him.
“I said let me go,” I growled, balling my free hand into a fist. I felt him before I heard him.
“Release your hand before I do it for you,” Dillon growled.
Marcus puffed out his chest. “What’s your deal? I was just talking to my date.”
Dillon looked to me for confirmation.
I shook my head. “He’s my boss. Not my date.”
Dillon backed off slightly but kept his eyes on me. As I left to walk to the bar, I could feel it.
“What was that all about?” Trevor asked.
“Marcus grabbed my wrist,” I said grabbing a drink. “I don’t know what got into Dillon.”
“I know who he wants to get into,” he joked.
I just laughed. I wanted that too but it wouldn’t be happening for a long while.
“Did he hurt you?” a familiar voice asked behind me.
“No, but thank you Dillon,” I said trying to assess what was going on. “You didn’t need to step in.”
“I did,” he said as he slid a finger along my cheek. He walked away without another word and I was left confused.
“See what I mean,” Trevor said, handing me another drink.
Caleb joined me at the bar and we stayed there for a little bit. I couldn’t face Marcus again tonight, and the way Dillon had acted was bothering me. “I think I am going to go home,” I said and squeezed Caleb’s hand to get his attention.
“Do you want me to go with you?” he asked.
I shook my head no and kissed his cheek.
I crawled under my covers and pictured Dillon’s beautiful eyes looking down into mine. His tender touch still lingered on my skin. I closed my eyes trying to figure out what it meant. My dream was a giant beautiful watercolor image of Dillon and Cameron. Dillon’s strong arms cradling me close, and then Cameron’s. Dillon eventually won out, and I woke up deciding I needed to get laid before I went crazy. I have to figure out a way to overcome my anxiety, and I need to come up with a plan of action. I don’t know how to go about it, or who the lucky—or unlucky—guy would be. I’m not sure either of them will understand my hesitancy and I’m not sure I’m ready to share the story.
Chapter 5
I woke up and decided to go for a run to clear my head and get my brain working again. The hormones raging though me we so distracting, I put salt in my coffee this morning. I laced up my sneakers and took off. The crisp morning air was refreshing and felt nice against my cheeks, but it instantly reminded me of Dillon’s touch. At mile fourteen, I decided to turn around and head home. I thought more about Dillon during my run than I care to admit, and as a result I had more things running through my mind. I rounded the corner and headed straight for my front door.
As I got ready for work, I became more nervous about being around Marcus. I got the feeling Marcus didn’t mean any harm by grabbing my arm, but still those feeling returned. He seemed like a harmless enough guy, and never came across as jerk, arrogant yes, but not a jerk. I have a hard time being grabbed and he set off all my alarms It unsettled me and I needed to quash this before he thinks things are going to go further.
We were just as busy tonight as we had been the night before. Thankfully, that didn’t give Marcus any time to speak to me, at least not until closing.
“Hey Josi. I just want to say I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to grab your arm like that. It was rude and I wanted you to know I’m not like that. I just noticed a few guys eyeing you and wanted to steer them away. I overstepped my bounds, it won’t happen again,” Marcus said as we cashed our checks.
I didn’t feel the conviction in his words. He didn’t come off sincere and almost forced himself into the apology. “Thanks. I hope I didn’t give you the wrong impression last night. I am still not looking for a relationship,” I explained.
He nodded. “Look, here’s my number. If you ever just want to hang out, give me a shout. Just as friends.”
“That sounds good, thanks. I could use a friend besides Caleb.”
We finished at the same time. On my way out, I decided I wanted to punish myself and see Dillon again but didn’t want to go alone, so I text Caleb.
“Where are you?”
“Home. Are you off already?”
“Yes. Think I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be home later.”
“Ok be careful. Call if you need me.”
I wanted to go out, so I texted Cameron.
“Hey it’s Josi. You busy?”
I sat in my car and waited for him to text me back. I’d almost given up and drove to the club alone when he answered.
“Just getting home. Do you want to come over?”
“How about we go out and catch up?”
“Sure, I’ll pick you up. What’s your address?”
“I’ll meet you at
Jake’s if that’s ok. I’m headed there now.”
“Alright give me 15 minutes.”
I decided to wait for him inside. I knew the paparazzi followed him and didn’t need to be the next tabloid headline. I just hoped they didn’t follow him inside.
Once again, my pulse quickened and I felt Dillon deep in my soul. He was standing off to the side of the bar, those gorgeous steel blue eyes were busy scanning the room. I quickly noticed his stance was rigid, and he had an almost hostile glare in his eyes as he looked around. Something was bothering him and I desperately wanted to know if it was me. As I walked to the bar his gazed finally found me and I waved only slightly. He smiled back but quickly went back to scanning the room. My cheeks redden at his quick assessment. I could look at him all night if he’d let me but I didn’t want to bother him at work, so I looked away and continued to the bar, sending a text to Cameron
“Standing by the bar.”
I knew the moment he walked in because everyone could hear the girls outside. He saw me and motioned for me to follow him, so I did. Of course, he was taking me to the VIP section. “I thought this would be better than sitting down there. At least this way my security can control the crowd.”
Just as I was sitting down, I caught site of busty redhead stroking a finger across Dillon’s chest. When he leaned down and seemed to kiss her ear I let out what sounded like a low growl.
“Everything OK?” Cameron asked, following my gaze.
I don’t know why I was upset. He wasn’t mine to be jealous over, but I was. I don’t know who she is, but I want her hands off him. I tried to get a better look at her but they were too far away. “Yeah I’m good, want a shot?”
He nodded and I motioned for our bartender. “Four shots of Patrón with lime and another round please, Chelsea.”
Cameron was silent but amused. “So. How have you been?” he asked, trying to regain my attention.
“Good,” I lied. “Just glad to be back. I couldn’t take living in a small town anymore. What’s been going on with you, big shot?”
“Yeah. Big shot. I got a lucky break after high school, modeling. That landed me a couple roles in some movies. Other than that, I’ve been working with a few charities. Helping to get things back in order down here.”
Burdened Souls: Can Love Save a Burdened Soul? (The Burned Souls Series Book 1) Page 3
