He looked down at my hand and smiled. “Thank you for inviting me.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek.
“Well make yourself comfortable, dinner is almost ready,” I said, feeling my cheeks quickly redden where he kissed me.
“Do you need any help?” he asked.
I smiled. “Thanks. I’ve got it. Caleb wasn’t completely lying when he said I’m territorial in the kitchen.”
“Alright. I’ll take your word for it,” he said with a laugh.
I quickly turned back to finishing the risotto as he walked away.
“Trust me, it’s safer in here,” Trevor joked.
“I can still hear you,” I yelled.
“We know sweetie,” Caleb said. “Would you like a drink? We have beer, wine, and water.”
“I’ll have a beer please.”
They got settled and I tried to listen in. It only took about ten minutes for me to finish. I felt at ease listen to their banter. I couldn’t explain the peace I felt when Dillon was near but it was a refreshing feeling.
“Dinner is ready,” I said, walking around the island to set the last dish on the table. “Hope you’re hungry.”
Dillon’s eyes widened when he saw the spread I had laid out.
“Trust me,” Caleb said. “She an amazing cook. It’s a wonder I haven’t gained a hundred pounds since she’s moved back.” They all laughed.
“Very funny, dig in.”
Dillon pulled out a chair and then sat next to me. “This looks amazing,” he whispered.
“Thank you,” I said, smiling.
“Wow, you really are an amazing cook,” he said after taking a couple bites. “Where did you learn to cook?”
“My grandmother taught me,” I explained.
Caleb interrupted and asked where all he had lived before I had to go any further.
“So Caleb, what do you do? I’ve seen you at the club,” he said, continuing the flow of the conversation.
“I am a nurse for now. I’m currently getting my business degree online.”
“What kind of business do you want to get into?”
“Clothing, fashion, and design. Something along those lines,” he said, smiling.
“I’ve been around the design business when I lived in New York. It can be crazy,” Dillon said, looking over at me.
“I can’t believe you left New York to move here,” I said.
“I needed a change and I have family here,” he said, after he ate his last bite.
Caleb stood and cleared the dishes as Dillon led me to the couch. “So what movie are we watching?”
“Well we have quite a selection, so why don’t you chose,” I said, motioning to our movie bookcase.
Caleb and Trevor got comfy on one side, while Dillon picked out a movie and sat beside me.
“What did you pick?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” He smiled at me.
I saw Caleb smiling as Trevor snuggled between his legs. Dillon seemed very relaxed and at ease around my friends, and not at all like his normal, rigid self.
“I’m betting action movie,” Trevor said.
“I’ll take that bet. Winner does the dishes.” Caleb laughed. “I’m thinking drama chick flick to impress JoJo.”
I just shook my head. I looked over at him and saw a tiny twinkle in his eyes. “I think your both wrong,” I said smiling. “I’ve got you figured out.”
“Do you now?” he said. He softly moved so that one of his legs was behind me and pulled me close. It felt so natural.
“I’m betting comedy, with a little love story,” I said smartly as I snuggled against his chest.
“Smart girl,” he whispered as Princess Bride popped up on screen.
“A man after my own heart,” Caleb swooned.
“It’s a good thing you have a dishwasher or we’d be doing them for a week,” Trevor complained, elbowing him.
“Now, dearest. You know she’s a neat freak in the kitchen. All those dishes are rinsed and waiting to be loaded.” Caleb grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and slid it over Trevor and me.
Dillon wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled closer. I had been right; he was built to hold someone, and right now that was me.
“Dinner was amazing,” he whispered. “You really are a great cook.”
“Are we even?” I asked.
“I had a picture of Cameron James’ ass on my phone. Not even close,” he joked.
I huffed.
“Awe, are you pouting now? That’s kind of cute.”
I moved to get up but he pulled me back down.
“I’m kidding, sweet girl.” He kissed my forehead as the movie started. My whole body relaxed and it felt great. There was so much we needed to learn about each other, but for now this was nice.
Chapter 7
I couldn’t run any faster and my legs were on fire. Suddenly I was on the ground and he was on top of me. I knew I was dreaming, I could see it all happening. I found what little strength I had to buck him off me. I scrambled to my feet and started to run. He punched me again, and slashed his knife across my back. As he ripped at my clothes to get a grip, he snarled. “I’m going to kill you—”
Someone was shaking me awake.
“Josilyn wake up, it’s just a dream,” Dillon’s panicked expression was looking at me.
I threw my arms around him and tried to find solace in his embrace. He went rigid but still held me as I tried to calm myself. Caleb and Trevor were right beside me.
“Josi are you ok? I grabbed your pills,” Caleb whispered then looked at Dillon.
“It’s OK, Cal. I think I’m OK. Thank you.”
Dillon seemed a bit uneasy.
“Sorry about that,” I whispered, looking up at him. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Why would I leave? The movie’s not over,” he said, sitting back on the couch and pulling me close.
“We’ll give you guys a minute,” Caleb said, dragging Trevor with him out of the room.
“You don’t have to hide it if you’re freaked out,” I confessed. “I’ve seen videos of me. I’m surprised I didn’t hit you.”
“That was some nightmare, and you did,” he told me, turning me to look at him.
“It’s just so embarrassing for a second-date thing,” I said, dipping my head to hide my shame.
“Hey, everyone has nightmares,” his whispered. He lifted my chin and smiled.
“It’s more than a nightmare, Dillon, and not something I’m ready to talk about,” I said as I started crying.
He hugged me close. “Seems your baggage has a lot of pain attached to it.”
I just nodded.
“I think it’s time we get her to bed,” Caleb said, coming around to my side.
Dillon easily lifted me off the couch. “Where’s her room?”
Caleb led the way. Dillon laid me down and knelt by my side.
“I want to know your story, but only when you’re ready,” he said, kissing my head. “We both have haunted pasts it seems. I’m not perfect, but I like spending time with you. I hope you’ll call me when you’re ready and we can hang out.”
I nodded as Caleb handed me a glass of water and some anxiety pills. They quietly slipped out as I laid there. I could hear them outside my door.
“Please call me if you need to,” Dillon said.
“Thanks, I will. She’ll be out until the morning.”
It turned to mumbles as I began to get drowsy.
“Maybe one day we will both be ready to unburden our souls,” I swear I heard before I drifted off.
I woke up to a sweet text from him.
“You didn’t scare me away. I meant what I said. It was very hard to leave you last night. Have lunch with me today? Meet me at the Quarter at 11. If you’re not there I’ll know you’re not ready.”
I looked at the screen and smiled. Where did this sweet guy come from? Caleb handed me a cup as I sat down at the island.
“Well that was embarrassing,�
�� I groaned.
“Sugar, that man likes you a lot. I basically had to push him out last night. I don’t know what you did to him, but he’s got it bad.”
“He probably just feels bad for me. He asked me out to lunch,” I confessed.
“Stop it. I think he really likes you,” he admonished me. “He may not be telling you everything about himself, but then again neither are you.”
I leered at him. “Really.”
“Yes sweetie, I know you. You’ll use that to push him away. I love you but when you’re ready, I think you both need to come clean. There are demons in his closet too, Sugar.”
Caleb seemed to know more about him than he was letting on about, but I didn’t let it bother me. If he felt Dillon should tell me about himself then I should give him the chance.
I finished my coffee and laced up my sneakers. It was time to try to clear my mind of the nightmare that Dillon witnessed. I thought for sure he’d think I was a freak, but he stayed. I also thought about what Caleb said. The pounding of the pavement wasn’t doing anything for my troubled mind, so I stopped at the park and watched the workout group. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I leaned against the tree and watched them sweat. I need to decide soon if I wanted the relationship between Dillon and me to go further. Do I want to risk my heart again? I walked out from under the shelter of the trees just as it began sprinkle. It was only a small cloud burst but it was enough to cool me down.
I made it home just in time to shower and head back to the Quarter. He didn’t say where he wanted to eat so I wandered around and thought about him. I knew deep down I liked Dillon, but it was hard and I was afraid of what might happen if we got intimate. I brushed it off and thought about how he made me feel. Just as I thought it, my body warmed in that special place in my soul. Then I felt his arms around me.
“Hey beautiful. Sorry I was late, but honestly I could watch you deep in thought all day. Your forehead crinkles and it’s cute.”
I turned and smiled up at him. He lightly kissed my cheek and I stiffened slightly. I am almost positive he noticed but didn’t say anything.
“So, what’s for lunch?” I asked.
“I’ll show you,” he said, grabbing my hand and walking us to a little restaurant a few blocks away. He knocked on the side door and a nice little Italian man answered the door.
“Ah, Dino my boy, come in. I’ve prepared your lunch. Is this your lovely lady?” He looked to me and smiled. “Good afternoon. I’m Luigi. I’m Dino’s Godfather.”
I smiled up at Dillon. “Nice to meet you, I’m Josilyn.”
He kissed my hands. “She’s just as beautiful as you described her,” he said, grabbing for a picnic basket. “Next time you come here to eat, I cook something special for you.”
I nodded. “OK, we will.”
Dillon was oddly quiet as we walked to the park with the basket. I could see him peeking over at me.
“You’re awfully quiet,” I said as he steered us to a nice pergola. He laid a blanket down then poured our wine.
“Sorry, I’ve just been thinking,” he said and handed me a glass.
“So what were you thinking about?” I asked, sipping my wine. It was crisp and cool. I noticed him watching me lick my lips and smile.
He still seemed on edge. “I’ve been thinking about last night and how I felt. How upset I was that you wouldn’t wake up, and how I wish I could make it better. We both have things it seems we are carrying around, but I wonder if my baggage would be too much for you to bear. I am worried if I open up, you’ll go running for the hills. I don’t do relationships and have never had a girlfriend. Bringing people into my life has never been easy for me, but with you I want to. I have this need when I’m with you to tell you everything. Woman, I don’t know what you are doing to me.”
“That’s a lot to think about in one night,” I said with a smile. “I’ve thought about you all day. I’ve been worried the things I have going on will stop you in your tracks. The night terrors, as the doctor calls them, are just the tip of the iceberg.”
“I think this is something we should take slow, maybe,” he said. He picked up his glass of wine.
I knew I wasn’t ready to explain my nightmare. Those demons need a lot of time but I also knew how he felt. Whenever I’m with him, I want to tell him all my fears because I knew he’ll keep me safe.
“I moved to Iowa with my grandmother when I was ten because my parents died in a car crash. Caleb has been my best friend since we were toddlers, but I’ve never told him I tried to kill myself when I was fourteen. I was in a very dark place after my parents died, and found things to take my mind off it. One night it wasn’t enough, and I just did it. My grandmother walked in not even a second later and got me help, but I never had the heart to tell him. I knew it would upset him. She started me cooking, and occupied me with that and school. She died when I was in my freshman year at college.” I felt the tears pricking my eyes. I’ve never felt so comfortable with anyone. I knew I could tell him everything that burdened my soul and he would hold me and try to take the pain away. I struggled to find more words.
He pulled me over to him. “You don’t have to bare your soul all at once. Baby steps, love. Baby steps.” He held me for a moment and I knew he was deep in thought. “I’m guessing you heard the rumor that I’ve been in to prison. That’s not true. I was in juvie until I was eighteen. I was arrested when I was fifteen for attacking my step-father. He was alright when my mother started dating him, but after they were married, he changed. He started beating and abusing me when I was seven, then eventually started in on my little sister. When I was fifteen I walked in on him with her and flew off the handle. I only stopped hitting him when my older sister pulled me off. He wasn’t dead, but he was close. My older sister is the only one who stood by me. She lived with her father but was there to visit us. She believed everything I told her about him. My mother and little sister told the cops I attacked him, so I went to jail. When I turned eighteen my little sister finally told my attorney the truth, and I was released.”
Dillon went quiet.
“Thank you.” I snuggled close to him.
“The only family I still talk to are Luigi and Lori, my older sister. My mother and step-father divorced, but she’s hasn’t spoken to me since. My sister…” He paused. “She’s married with her own family. We haven’t spoken since then. I couldn’t find it in me then to forgive her and after ten years, I still can’t.”
Something was happening between us. Something comforting and yet confusing. A small piece of my wall was crumbling, and all because of the man next to me. I wasn’t sure if I was having the same effect on him but I didn’t need to know.
“Come on, let’s eat. I think we’ve excised enough demons for one day,” Dillon said taking a sip from his glass
We sat quietly, eating the delicious meal Luigi made for us and occasionally stealing glances at one another.
“That was very good,” I admitted.
“I’m glad you like it. I told Luigi you were a cook and he couldn’t wait to impress you.”
“He seems like a nice man.”
“He’s the best. My real dad died when I was little and Luigi stepped up to help take care of us. When my mom met Raymond, we moved and didn’t get to see him anymore.”
“Leaving loved ones behind sucks. I tried pleading with my grandmother to let me stay with Caleb’s family, but she wanted me close. Looking back, if I had stayed, I probably wouldn’t be here.”
“I’m glad you’re still here.” He smiled and kissed my hand. “Let’s get you home.” He lifted me up off the ground, and we walked hand in hand back to my car.
“I had a nice time, thank you for coming,” he said opening my door.
“I did too.” I smiled. “Thanks for not freaking out about last night.”
“Josilyn, I was serious about giving us a try. I’m not sure it will work, but I feel like I need to try. I need to handle a couple things before we go any
further though.”
I smiled up at him. “OK. I can handle that.” Then I kissed his cheek.
I laid on the couch when I got home, thinking about the last two weeks. I had two guys vying for my attention, but Dillon was the only one I was truly interested in. He felt safe. I knew I wanted him in my life as more than just a friend. This was a huge step and I was terrified. I wasn’t sure if my demons would allow me to be in a normal relationship.
My phone buzzed, startling me.
“Hey gorgeous, what’s going on?” Cameron asked.
“Oh, hey CJ. Not much. What going on with you?”
“I was bored and thought I’d call and talk.”
“How was your shoot?”
“Good, it was just a few stills for the movie posters and stuff. How was your day?”
“Great. Oh, yeah. So I kind of sent that picture of your ass to Dillon. Which was weird, but then we hung out and now I think we are kind of dating.”
“Why’d you send him that picture?”
“It was an accident, I guess I sent it to both of you.”
“Be careful Josi. He’s um… Let’s just say he’s not who he seems.”
“We both have a past, Cameron. We are taking our time. It’s fine.”
“I’m sorry. I just trying to look out for you.”
“Thank you, Cameron. I appreciate it.”
“If you ever need to talk. I’m here. Tell him I said he better treat you good.”
“Thanks. I will.”
“Well I have to head into a meeting. I call ya later and I meant what I said. You better tell me if he gets out of line.”
“He’ll be good CJ, but thank you. Talk to you later.”
I wanted to get to the bottom of why they didn’t like each other. I wasn’t sure if either of them would tell me. They seemed to keep their secrets very well. I was no better I guess.
Chapter 8
It was a nice week of Dillon coming by and hanging out during the day, or us going somewhere in the afternoon. It became so routine and comfortable, you’d have thought we’ve been dating for a while. Work kept both of us from hanging out in the evenings, although I still wasn’t sure what he did besides being the bouncer at Jake’s. When we were together, we talked about the happier times in our lives. I had a few more than him—given what he lived through—and we seemed to steer clear of the topics that upset us both, but I knew those would come up soon enough.
Burdened Souls: Can Love Save a Burdened Soul? (The Burned Souls Series Book 1) Page 5
