“The second thing is…well…”
Her eyes stung. She had to say something to lighten the serious mood. She couldn’t stay here; she had responsibilities at home and people who counted on her. “You aren’t going to serenade me with a corny song, are you?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not very musical, but here’s the thing.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve never been in love…not until I met you. I love you. I just wanted you to know.”
She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat and the burning in her lungs. “Thank you, Zak. Thank you for saying that.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I didn’t lie when I said this has been the best week of my life. I need to go now. Goodbye.”
She shoved the window closed, ran to the bed and shut off the bedside lamp. She whispered incoherently into her pillow, punched the mattress, then let her tears fall.
* * *
SABRINA HAD CALLED AHEAD to let her parents know she was coming home. She sat up straighter when she pulled into the circular driveway of the ten-room mansion she had always called home.
But she was ready to begin a new chapter of her life. She had money from her grandmother locked away in mutual funds she could pull out as start-up money for her yoga studio. As much as her father would like her to work for him assisting his campaign manager, that wasn’t where her heart was. Yes, she enjoyed how politics could help people, but she wanted more face-to-face interaction.
Her intention moving forward was to build a yoga studio. The first thing she’d do was study the area for the best location, although generally speaking L.A. was saturated with yoga studios already. She’d have to research other areas of the state and look for the greatest need. The entire flight home, she’d poured herself into her plans, anything to keep her mind off of Zak.
She walked into the marble-floored entryway. Everything in her parents’ home said opulence. This house smelled of new carpet and antiseptic, and she instantly missed the smell of spruce trees at the lodge.
The Lutron lighting system illuminated expensive oil paintings and sculptures from only the most famous artists.
Her mother came running down the curved staircase. “There you are!” she exclaimed and threw her arms around Sabrina. “Are you all right? Why didn’t you call? I was so worried.”
“I’m fine, Mom. In fact, I’m better than fine. Is Dad here?”
“Yes, he’s in the den waiting for you.” Of course he was in the den, he wouldn’t come to greet her at the door. If nothing else, he was predictable.
She stepped into the sunken den, paneled with mahogany hard wood. Three tiers of bookshelves covered one wall. Sun filtered in the east bank of windows across the waxed wooden floors. Her father sat stoically in his wingback chair. Her mother filed in behind her and took a seat adjacent to her husband.
“Hi, Dad.” Sabrina’s stomach sank. No matter what her age, she had always felt like she was disappointing him. She kissed him on the cheek like the dutiful daughter she was.
“Hello, Sabrina. It would have been nice to know where you were and what you were doing. Your mother was worried.”
“Melody assured me she told everyone I was safe.” She sucked in a breath. “If you knew where I was, then reporters would have known, too. This way I got a week of privacy.” She sat down. “I went to Alaska. And I have to say I found myself—for the first time I really got the time and space I needed to think. But I am curious how things went after I left?”
Her mother said, “Well, everyone was shocked and disappointed, of course. But we managed. Some of the guests stayed and we had the reception, but we had lots of leftover food so we took it to the shelter.”
“Good. I’m glad you did that.”
“Melody insisted,” her mother said, “but we still haven’t seen Kyle.”
“I’ve spoken to Kyle,” her father interrupted. “He regrets his decision and he’s agreed to make amends.”
Her mother’s worried expression turned angry. “You’ve spoken to him? You didn’t tell me.”
Sabrina tightened her clasped hands. “I haven’t even spoken to him yet.”
“Yes, well, he realizes he made a mistake,” her father reiterated again.
“Dad, it wasn’t a mistake. He did the only sane thing. We don’t love each other. At least not in that way. We’re friends, is all. At least we used to be friends. But we both deserve better. We both deserve to be happy.”
Her father stiffened in his chair. “He should have never done that to you and to our family.”
“Well, of course he shouldn’t have, but he did and honestly it was the best thing for us. I would have gone along with the wedding. I would have married him and I would have ultimately been unhappy. My whole life, my entire life, I’ve done what you wanted me to do. I’ve gone to all your political fundraising events, I’ve pasted on a smile, and I’ve mingled with the right people. I had the right friends. I majored in business communications—just like you wanted. I got all A’s like you wanted. But you went too far when you maneuvered Kyle into proposing marriage to me.”
Her father stood up. “I never did any such thing, and I resent what you’re implying.”
“You must have held something over his head.” She paced back and forth between the windows and the coffee table. Or did she just want to believe her father had orchestrated all this? Pressing down on the anger rummaging inside her, she said, “I’m grateful he backed out of the wedding, because I found me. I found out what I really want. But first of all I’ve got to make sure this tennis event is ready. I left some items in my volunteers’ capable hands, but I need to re-check a couple of things. I don’t want anything to go wrong.”
“It will be a great success, dear,” her mother said. “You put a lot of work and advertising into it. But what do you mean you found out what you really want?”
So the moment had arrived. Sabrina stopped her pacing and faced what she was sure to be her parents’ disappointment. “I want to help people feel good about themselves and I’ve found that with yoga. I taught some classes in Alaska.”
“You’re not going to talk to me about yoga.” Her father’s tone took on an edge she’d heard only a few times before.
“Yes, Dad, I am,” Sabrina continued. She eyed him critically, determined to say what she had to say. Somehow, she had to get through to him. “You think it’s a career unworthy of my place in society.”
“It’s not a career. It’s a hobby,” her father said.
She let out a long breath. “I don’t know why I came here. I thought I could make you understand, but you won’t even listen.”
“Dear, we are listening.” Her mother was trying desperately to smooth things over—like she always did. “Go ahead. What were you saying?”
Fine. She didn’t want to leave here with anything left unsaid. “I want to open my own yoga studio.”
“You can’t be serious,” her father said. “You have this huge tennis fundraiser lined up, worthy of your time and energy, but—”
“How is a yoga studio not worth my time, Dad?”
He stood up from his chair. “Be reasonable, Sabrina. You want to help people. That’s great. Look at how many people will benefit from the courts you’re going to be able to rebuild because of the event you’ve organized.”
“But it’s a very hands-off approach,” Sabrina insisted. “I’d prefer more face-to-face interaction with the people I’m trying to help.”
“You accomplished all kinds of face-to-face interaction with Pete Sampras and the Bryan Brothers to get this event off the ground.”
“Yes, I did. By making several phone calls to their agents and name-dropping—your name in particular.” Sabrina felt her will start to crumble. “I don’t know how to make you understand, except to say I’m a grown woman and I’ll make my own decisions concerning my future.”
Hanging her head, she walked toward the front door of her house.
“Sabrina.” Her father’s voice hit her like a lance.
“You walk out that door, and I’ll cut up your credit cards. I’ll take your car, your allowance, everything. And what about Kyle? He wants to make things up to you.”
Sabrina spun around. “Kyle has not contacted me and he’s none of your concern. I’m not a little girl anymore Dad, but you insist on treating me like one. I’ll take some of the blame because I let you treat me like a child. I didn’t stand up for myself, but I am now. I didn’t earn any of the things you’ve given me and I don’t want any of them. Goodbye.”
Her mother ran up behind her. “No. You can’t leave.”
“Mom, I’m sorry. I’ve got to find my own way.”
“But where will you go? How can I find you?”
“I’ll stay with Melody until I get my feet on the ground.” She gave her mom a hug. “Bye, Mom. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
* * *
IT HAD BEEN a week since Sabrina left. Zak threw himself back into his routine of work, but sadness seeped into his life like he’d never known before. There were no towels to pick up in the bathroom. He squeezed toothpaste from the middle of the tube as a reminder of her and how everything in his life didn’t need to be in perfect order.
He knew his brothers were trying to find a way to cheer him up, but nothing would do the trick. Hell, he even pulled out the Scrabble game and played with Harold and Lenny down at the café, but darkness still enveloped him, no matter what he tried.
On a Friday afternoon, Ethan opened his office door. “Hey, remember Dane’s game starts in ten minutes.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll be right there.” Like he’d forget his brother’s NHL game was on television. It was the only reason they even had a television at the lodge. Another reminder of Sabrina pierced his brain. She’d asked about television. He mentally banished the memories from entering again and went back to his accounting sheets.
Ethan had left his office door open. He could hear laughter down the hallway, making it impossible to concentrate.
“Hey, you left the door open,” he yelled. “I’m working…oh, nevermind.” He shoved his chair back and went to close the door.
It wasn’t close to Christmas yet, but he swore he heard a jingle bell. He stood in the doorway of his office and peered down the hallway.
A fluffy puppy jumped up and ran full-speed down the hall toward him. Her pink collar’s bell jingled as she ran. Zak knew immediately the puppy was a she, because he knew it was Bunny.
Travis and Ethan stood grinning at him from the end of the long hallway.
Zak squatted down just in time for Bunny to jump into his arms. She licked his face and he laughed.
“We thought you needed a dog,” Travis said.
Zak scooped Bunny into his arms and stared at her blue and brown eyes. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to say no. Even though I should.”
“Vince said he wouldn’t take her back, so unless you want her to be homeless, you better keep her,” Ethan said.
“A dog is a lot of work.” Zak took the responsibility of a dog very seriously.
“Like you’ve ever been afraid of work?” Travis said, “Besides, this way Duke will have a friend when he comes to visit.”
“Where is Duke, by the way?”
“I left him with mom and Fiona,” Travis replied. “Come on, the game is about to start.”
They sat down on the couch in Ethan’s apartment to watch the Alaska Fury play the Colorado Yellow Jackets. Bunny sat comfortably on his lap and fell asleep. “We’ve got to find a way to get more people to the lodge in the winter, so we can get Dane paid back,” Zak said.
“We will pay him back,” Travis said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I do worry about it.”
“You worry too much,” Ethan said. “Besides I’m working on getting a snowmobile race going. I’ve been talking to a couple possible sponsors. Vince has a lot of connections there. A sort of mini Iron Dog, a race between Fairbanks and Gold Creek. Just can’t decide if it should be two- or three-person teams. Anyway, if I can make it happen, there will be plenty of winter traffic in Gold Creek, so stop your worrying.”
“Were you going to tell me about this?” Zak said. “It might be nice to put me in the know. There’s a ton of legwork to make a snowmobile race work. There aren’t many villages to use as checkpoints between here and Fairbanks.”
“See, I told you,” Travis said.
“Told me what? You haven’t told me anything,” Zak said.
Travis grabbed a corn chip and pointed it at Ethan. “This is why I told you not to even mention it. He gets all worked up and thinks he needs to be in charge.” He pointed the chip at Zak now, instead of Ethan. “Well, you don’t. We’ve got this.”
“So I’m supposed to just sit back and do nothing?” Zak asked.
Ethan set his beer on the end table and leaned forward on the sofa. “We know you feel somehow responsible for us, for all of us. Ever since Dad died, you’ve been like this, taking charge of everything, but just let me do this. Let someone else take the lead for a change.”
The announcer called number ten, Dane Forrester, to the starting lineup.
“I haven’t taken charge of everything. We are all equal owners in this lodge.” Zak stood up, unable to sit still and take their accusation. “Every decision concerning this lodge has been a joint decision between all of us.”
“And for god’s sakes, Dane,” Ethan said to the television, “stay out of the penalty box for one game, why don’t you?”
“Are you listening to me?” Zak stood in front of the television, blocking his brother’s view.
A half-beat of silence ensued before Ethan said, “I’m purposely not listening. Move out of the way.”
“You’ve got something to say, then say it.” Zak folded his arms across his chest, his heart sped up and ready to do battle.
“Can we discuss this later?” Travis asked. “I’m trying to watch the game.”
“No, we can’t.” Ethan said, his voice determined and strong. “This has been a long time coming. Yeah, I’ve got something to say, you need to back off, that’s what. You’ve tried to control our lives, acting as the replacement parent. I’ve got news for you. You aren’t Dad. Dad is dead and nothing can bring him back.”
Zak had expected a conversation about the running of the lodge and his management of it, not painful memories of their father.
“And if you want to go back to that day, then let’s do it.” Ethan stood up and positioned himself inches away from Zak.
Travis quickly got off the sofa, stood behind Ethan, and said, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Zak felt like he’d been sucker punched in the chest. “The hell it wasn’t.”
Ethan inched closer to him. “You’ve buried yourself in this lodge and its success and providing for this family, but we don’t need it. Not this way. You’ve pushed us and maybe it’s what we needed a few years ago, but we’re grown men now. We don’t need you as a father figure. We need to be treated as equal business partners, and not dictated to.”
Zak went on the offensive. “We are business partners. I’ve never tried to be a father figure. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Travis stepped between them. “Let’s get to the root of the problem. It’s not the lodge—it’s Dad, and the wreckage his loss left behind. That’s what all of this is about.”
“What are you?” Zak said. “The family counselor?”
“Maybe I am.” Travis said. “All I know is having Sabrina around here changed you. She made you human again. You were more light-hearted, not so stressed.”
“We need to get Dane paid back.” Zak backed up a few steps. He didn’t like this inquisition and he didn’t want any talk about Sabrina.
“There you go, making this about the lodge again.” Travis shook his head, looked to Ethan, then back to Zak again. “We will pay Dane back. I’m not worried about that. But you need to stop your pushing. Ethan can handle this race on his own, he doesn’t need
your interference.”
“Fine.” Zak’s pulse pounded in his head. He held up his hands. “You handle everything, Ethan. I’ll stay out of it. All I am is interference.”
“Good.” Ethan sat down. “Can we watch the game now?”
“Yeah, sure, you watch the game,” Zak took his bottle of beer and left the room.
He heard Travis’s footsteps behind him, then Ethan said, “Let him go.”
He didn’t always take charge. Did he? He wasn’t trying to be a father figure. He just wanted the lodge to be a success. What was wrong with that? He strode through the lodge to his room. The bell from his newly acquired dog jangled behind him. He wanted to shut the dog out of his room and out of his life, but the blue and brown eyes of the puppy melted the wall he’d built around his heart.
“Fine. You can come in.” He shut the door behind Bunny and strode to his window overlooking the hot springs. He imagined Sabrina swimming among the mist the first day she’d arrived.
“Why couldn’t you stay?” Zak said to no one. His heart was completely broken. Travis was right—she had changed him.
How was he supposed to pick up the pieces again? He had been more light-hearted with Sabrina here. He had enjoyed every second with her. And as if missing her wasn’t enough, his brothers were angry with him over his interference.
Ever since his dad had died, he’d been like this, just like Ethan said. He’d wanted to take care of everyone, since he’d failed in helping his dad that morning. He’d been selfish then and he’d never allowed himself to enjoy one day of being selfish since. But then, he did allow himself to fall into Sabrina’s arms, and somehow in her arms he’d felt free. He’d been at peace and wasn’t constantly trying to organize and take care of everything.
Maybe he would let Ethan work on this race idea on his own and he’d concentrate on this dog. The fluffy ball of fur brought a sense of calm over him, and knowing Sabrina had cared for Bunny too gave him a sense of contentment he hadn’t felt in days.
Her Alaskan Hero Page 15
