by K. I. Lynn
“Neither do you.”
He shakes his head, his green eyes swirling with pain, much like they did years ago. “I don’t do emotional pain. To me, that’s all love ever was. If I didn’t fall in love, problem solved. But there’s a flaw.”
“Flaw?”
He reaches out and caresses my cheek. “Love isn’t a choice. It’s a force, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You can fight it, but in the end all you do is cause yourself the pain you were trying to avoid in the first place.”
“So you had sex with all those women, and your father has also run through his fair share, both while claiming to love one woman . . . How does that make you any different from him?”
He turns from me, dipping his hand in the water and splashing it onto his chest. When he looks back, there’s a sort of resolve I haven’t seen in awhile.
“I couldn’t be with you. First due to your age, and then because they got married. I was a horny teenager and didn’t make the best decisions for me or for you. That’s the power of hindsight. The correlation means nothing, because I don’t want anyone else. I want to love you and you alone. I’m not a cheater.”
“Yeah, right,” I grumble and place my hand on the edge of the pool, preparing to get out.
Brayden stops me, grabs my chin, and forces me to look into his burning eyes. “I’d rather die than ever cheat on you.”
“I’m not in the mood to fucking deal with this right now.”
“You never are.”
“Damn right. I don’t owe you shit. Now let me go.”
Clearly, “let me go” translates into “don’t let me go” in his book. If I tell him to keep his hands on me, will that somehow register in his dyslexic brain and make him release me?
“I haven’t been with any woman, except you, since I decided I was going to do right by you this time. Since the day I told Ryan I would wait for you, come to you at your eighteenth birthday.” His eyes beseech me.
I shake my head, and his hand falls away from my face. “So?”
“Do you believe me that I haven’t been with anyone else?”
“What?”
Brayden moves closer. When I try to look away, he moves back into my line of sight. “Do. You. Believe. Me?”
The cynical, injured part of me doesn’t, but . . . “Yeah, I do.”
His shoulders fall, and he sighs as the tensions leaves him. “I will not be with another woman now that I’ve had you. You’re the best I’ve ever had in every fucking way. No one’s ever owned me like you do. I can’t even bring myself to think of another woman.”
My cheeks heat up again, and I’m grateful it’s night out. Even with the pool lights, I doubt he can see me blushing. “That’s impossible. You’re a human man. I’m sure you still have some sort of celebrity crush, at least.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “Baby, celebrity crushes? Sure. Why not? But even if one of those chicks somehow appeared in front of me, I doubt I’d be interested in the real life deal. Hot women are everywhere, but in my opinion, I’ve got the hottest. The sexiest. The best girl in bed and out of it. Why the hell would I look elsewhere?”
Giddiness floods through my veins, overwhelming everything I consist of. It’s the perfect thing to say. Something every girl on earth would die to hear. It’s too good. Straight out of a dream. I know better than to believe that. He’s just reeling me in. Hook, line, and sinker.
Nothing I tell myself penetrates through. I’m freaking happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. His compliment sucker-punches me in the gut. No man has ever had the power to make me feel this way with just a compliment. And I’ve received many, I won’t lie.
I . . . Oh, God, am I still in love with this man? Like, in in love with him? Is that why his words have such an intense effect on me?
The world spins.
“Kira?”
“I’ve got to go.” It’s probably the millionth time I try to run away from him. Rounding him, I half-run, half-swim toward the stairs. I’m about to take the first step when his arms come around me from behind, hauling me into his wet body. The feel of him compounds with the emotions I’m struggling with. Hunger hollows out my soul, begging for him.
I struggle against him; he tightens his arms around me and lowers his head next to my ear.
“Let me go, Brayden.”
“No.”
“Why, damn you? Why?”
“I need to know.” His breaths are harsh in my ear.
I grind my teeth, squeeze my eyes closed, and struggle to ignore how much I need him. “Know what?”
“What I just saw in your expression . . . I need to know it’s real.”
My first fear-fueled instinct is to deny. Deny, deny, deny. But I’m too tired to play this stupid game anymore. “Please, let go. Just let go of everything so we can both move on.”
He exhales roughly and bites down into my shoulder. “Never. Do you hear me, Kira? Never.”
This is why hanging out with him is a bad idea. Why I’m so stupid. I can’t keep letting him convince me to spend time with him. Fucking him isn’t helping to get him out of my system, so there’s only one thing left to do.
“It’s over,” I tell him. “Whatever this thing between us was, it’s done. I’m finished fucking you. We had each other, multiple times. There’s no need to continue.”
His arms slacken.
I grab my chance and bolt out of them, practically flying up the stone steps and onto the deck.
That’s where he catches me. I don’t get more than a second’s notice. My ears register the sound of splashing water as he rushes out the pool, then his hands are around my waist, spinning me around so fast I lose my footing on the wet deck.
Brayden catches me and slowly lowers me to the ground. He kneels on the first step, still inside the pool, and tries spreading my legs to make room for his body.
I beat on his shoulders. “It’s over. Just stop already!”
He takes my hits and forces my legs open. Leaning into me, he kisses my cheek softly.
I hit him harder.
For each hit, he gives me another soft, soothing kiss.
“Why are you still here, damn it?” I want to cry. I’ve given this man so many of my tears during my life, and it’s inconceivable that I have yet more to give him.
“Because I love you. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. This man right here can’t breathe without you. Losing you is certain death for me.”
“It’ll never get any better. It’ll always be this. Us fighting. Me reliving the pain. The never-ending fucking misery.”
His lips graze mine. “It’s not just misery and you know it.”
“Ugh!” The worst thing in the world is coming against this level of stubbornness. I won’t budge, and neither will he. “Don’t you hear me? It’s always going to be like this. I’ll never be the sweet, innocent, stupid, naive, loving girl with you again.”
“Okay. I’ll take it. For the rest of my life, I’ll take whatever you have to dish out. But I’m not going anywhere.”
An entire lifetime of this? I can barely imagine it, so I don’t know how he can be this accepting of the idea. My heart’s breaking at the thought of never finding peace. Of constantly living in this crazy up-and-down rollercoaster.
How can it be so hard to push someone away when all they bring into your life is pain?
The fight leaves me, and I drop my hands away from him. Panting, I sit here, staring at him, trying to figure out a solution for our fucked-up situation.
“Just forgive me,” he whispers, grabbing my hands gently.
“I can’t,” I whisper back.
“What do I have to do? Why can’t you forgive me?”
“Because I don’t want to.” This makes me sound like the biggest bitch on earth, I know that, but it’s true. “You don’t deserve to just have a happily ever after with me. Not after all of that.”
Forgiveness is a choice. A hard, brutal, up-hill battle. In order t
o embark on that kind of journey, a person has to truly want to do it.
Brayden lifts my hands up to his lips and kisses them like he’d kissed my cheek. “Then I’ll wait until you feel like I deserve that forgiveness.”
There’s no more will in me to fight him. Not right now. I don’t know if the anger will return tomorrow, but as of right now, I just don’t have it in me. I’m drained. I relax, the hostility draining out of me. Letting my fingers curl around his hands, I stare down at our joined hands.
My gut tells me he’s not the one, but my heart wants him so damn bad.
Not just my heart. At the very least, I’ve come to accept that I’ll always need this man’s cock.
Giving in, I slide one of my hands out of his and place it on his wet shoulder. Just touching it is enough to make me tremble with hunger. He stays perfectly still, breaths speeding up, waiting for my next move. Looking away from his eyes, I rub his large, defined shoulder in circles.
I hear his deep swallow, and the sound of it turns me on so much.
Eyes on my hand, I watch it move from his shoulder. My fingers graze his clavicle before moving down to his chest. Beneath my hand, his heart is a wild war drum, a powerful beat that speeds up my own. I trace his nipple, loving the way his breath catches.
“You’re fucking killing me here,” he grits out.
Laughing under my breath, I let my fingers trail down to his glorious, glorious abs. There are no words to describe this six pack. I’ve kissed, licked, and bitten it many times, and I still can’t get over how sexy his midsection is.
I reach the band of his red swim trunks. His cock is even harder than it’d been in the kitchen earlier. Hard and pulsing for my touch. Panting, I dip my finger just inside the waistband.
Like a fucking bullet, that man grabs both my hands and maneuvers me so I’m lying on my back. He does it so fast I barely have time to register my new position and then he’s crawling over me, his movements slowing down to that of a deadly predator.
That large body moving over mine with all that barely held-back intent.
I swallow the lump in my throat, arching up toward him.
The cups of my bathing suit top are yanked to the side. I gasp at the feeling of air caressing my exposed nipples. Brayden reaches down and unties his trunks, pulling them down just low enough to slide his cock out.
I wrap my thumbs around my bikini bottoms and begin to push them down, but am stopped by his hands wrapping around my wrists.
His eyes are so dark and hypnotic. The vibe he’s putting off has me shaking. There’s no will to resist as he pulls my hands up above my head, pinning them with one hand as his tongue moves across my parted lips.
Eyes locked on mine, his fingers shove my bathing suit to the side and he slams his cock in. My back arches, every nerve firing off as my eyes flutter and I clench around him.
Fuck, how does this feel so perfectly right when everything else is wrong?
The concrete stings my skin as it bites in with each thrust. His hips slow down to long, slow strokes, his arm moving under my back, cushioning me. I draw my legs up, wrapping them around his waist, trapping him. Little whimpers mingle with his low moans that turn me on even more.
One hand is fisted in his hair, the other digging into his back, and I bite his lower lip, earning a single hard, deep thrust.
“Fuck, Kitty, you feel so fucking good.”
With each rotation of his hips I lock on harder, pulling him closer, deeper. My breasts are mashed against his strong chest. The slower pace is agony. Every inch that enters until his hips meet mine drives me crazy because it’s not enough and too much at the same time. When he pulls out, my thighs clench to draw him back in.
“Fucking tease,” I whine.
His lips quirk up into that fucking smirk of his. “Just feel, baby.”
A strangled cry crawls out of my throat as he winds me tight with each slow thrust.
My walls clamp down, and he lets out a long, low moan that makes me shiver. His forehead falls onto me as he pushes deeper.
Closer and closer, on the verge of spiraling out of control. Just a little more.
“Shit!” he hisses and freezes.
When my eyes pop open, there’s light suddenly flooding into the backyard, shining through the windows and sliding glass door. I crane my head back in time to watch Steven’s silhouette through one of the windows.
“Oh, fuck!” I push on Brayden’s chest, forcing us up, and move the cups of my bikini back over my breasts.
My heart is hammering against my ribs as fear rips through me. Brayden is still inside me, not moving, his gaze locked on the wandering shadows in the house. I can see it in his eyes, kinda like Ryan. He’s formulating a plan.
His eyes focus back on me and his look of dread morphs into a soft smile, followed by a tender kiss.
Fuck.
Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fucking, fuck.
My dick is trapped in the hot, wet suction of Kira’s pussy, practically begging me not to leave. And the parents just arrived home while I’m fucking my stepsister on the pool deck.
That makes my cock even harder. The shock of being found out should drain the desire from me, but somehow, it amps it up.
I want to keep sliding my cock in her, racing to get us both off before we’re noticed.
Kira is frozen in place, staring at me, silently begging for direction. My brain is quickly formulating a plan, and step one is to pull my dick from the only place I want to be right now.
“Fuck,” I curse under my breath.
Step two is to find a way to get us not only out of suspicion, but also upstairs. I move the strip of her bathing suit back over her juicy pussy that’s calling to me and give it a little pat, then take in a breath as I slide back into the water.
My cock thankfully shrinks back some from the cool against the skin. It’s a puzzle piece to get it back in and keep it from being too obvious I’m sporting a boner.
Kira’s still not moving, and I push out of the water and kiss her lips. “Stay here, or find a way upstairs,” I whisper.
Nodding, she slowly pulls her legs out and sneaks over to get a towel.
Guess upstairs it is.
My heart is hammering in my chest with each step I take, water sliding down my body. I grab a towel from one of the loungers and do a pat dry of my legs, then swing it over my neck to drape in front of me.
Dad hasn’t seen my tattoos, and I don’t ever want him to if I can help it.
I pull open the sliding glass door and step in. The air conditioning makes me shiver while the voice I hate echoes off the walls. He steps into the kitchen and jumps when he sees me.
“Brayden, you scared me.”
“Sorry.”
“Night swim?”
I nod. “It’s nice and warm out tonight.”
He glances around, his gaze scanning me as I run the towel over my hair.
“Is your sister home?”
She’s not my sister.
I shake my head. “She went out with some friends.”
He nods, still eyeing me. There’s doubt in his gaze, and he’s right, but I’m not going to let him know that.
“You’re home early.”
He shakes his head. “Somehow got out of the house and all the way to the restaurant without my wallet.”
“That sucks.” I hate our small talk. It’s too forced. I also hate how his continued presence is keeping me from Kira.
“Steven, did you find it?” Sonia asks, coming around the corner from the direction of the half bath. “Oh, hi, Brayden.”
I wave at her as she grabs onto my father’s arm. “We should get going, we’re already really late.”
The lines around his eyes crinkle, and his lips form a thin and downturned line. “You think I don’t know that?” he asks through clenched teeth.
There’s venom in his tone and my first instinct is to put myself between him and her.
Sonia starts, but quickly recovers. “Have a
good night, Brayden.” She gives me a soft smile, then turns to him. “Come along, Steven.”
I watch them walk into the garage, staying completely frozen as I listen both for the garage door to close and their car to speed off.
The adrenaline coursing through my body has me so jacked up that the only way I’m going to both calm down and alleviate the blue balls I’ve got going on is to go find my girl and finish what we started.
I take the stairs two at a time, rushing up to find her. When I get to the top, only the hall light is on.
“Kira?”
Nothing.
I check my room first, but it’s empty, then turn the handle to her door.
She’s there, sitting in the middle of her bed, wrapped in a towel, staring at me with wide eyes that are glowing from her phone.
“Are they gone?” she asks, whispering.
“Yeah.”
She leans over and turns on her bedside light. “That was close.”
I nod. “Exciting, too.”
“No, not exciting at all.”
“You’re telling me that the thrill of getting caught didn’t turn you on just a little?”
She squirms where she’s sitting. “No, it didn’t.”
Her cheeks are flush and as I dip down, I can almost feel how turned on she is. “I call bullshit.”
“You’re full of shit.”
I chuckle. “Don’t go denying it too strongly.” I lean over her, pushing her down onto the bed, my lips running across hers. “Now, where were we?” My big toe bumps into something, causing a stinging pain to zing up my foot. “Shit!”
I pull back and use my foot to feel out what I hit. My toes catch onto the edge of what feels like a frame. Rising up on my straightened arms, I curl my toes around the object and drag it out from beneath the bed.
“Brayden? What are you doing?” Kira stares up at me with those beautiful, confused hazel eyes.
I tilt my head and look down at the ground.
The world shifts in an eerily familiar way.
Silence comes next, the type of silence that comes from deep within. I can’t move as my eyes take in the picture at my feet.
A picture that’s shredded, only bits and pieces of it hanging onto the frame.
