by Nikki Blythe
“I knew you'd come around!” Faith squealed.
She placed the magazine on the coffee table and angled herself so she was facing me with her legs crossed on the cushion beneath her.
“No,” I sighed heavily. “Listen. That said, I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with you anymore. I have made my views on that pretty clear, I feel like. I think you should leave. Go stay with your mom and dad until you can find an apartment of your own. I will, of course, pay child support, and I'll even put half the deposit down on your new place if you'd like.”
Faith's face, which had been alight with joy only moments before, fell into a dark sneer that sent chills down my spine.
“What, you think I need your help?” She scoffed.
“No, but I do think it's my responsibility to make sure you have a nice enough home to raise our child in.”
“What about this home? Why can't you just admit you want to be with me?” Faith said.
Alarmingly, her dark expression shifted to one of deep sadness. It was like watching a world class actor teach a course on acting with their face alone. I sensed danger. I needed to get her out of my apartment and soon, because I didn't think I could handle another altercation. Emotionally or physically.
“Faith, I don't want to be with you,” I said bluntly. “I have been clear on this. We are done.”
“You've been cheating on me, haven't you?” She replied. “With that yoga skank, huh?”
Her voice went up an octave, and I could tell she'd start shrieking at any moment.
“No,” I lied. I was still trying to reconcile myself with the fact that technically I cheated, even if my heart wasn't in this relationship anymore. “You just don't treat me very well, Faith.”
There was a brief moment of silence. As short as it was, it was oppressive. The air closed in around me as Faith glared from across the couch. Then, in an instant, she flung herself across the space between us. She slapped me hard across the face, and then wrapped her fingers around my throat, pinning me to the arm of the couch behind me. Her anger was the only thing that made her as strong as she was, which was enough to restrict the flow of air into my lungs, but not enough to cause me to pass out.
Thanking my earlier foresight, I pulled my phone from my pocket, which was no small feat with the entirety of Faith's weight on me. I hit the speed dial for 911.
“911 Dispatch.”
I pushed up on Faith's chest when she paused in alarm at the voice. She fell back to her side of the couch and I put the phone to my ear.
I informed the dispatcher that I would need an officer at my address.
“And what is the nature of your emergency, sir?” The cool voice said.
“It’s a domestic disturbance, my ex won’t leave my home and just now physically attacked me.”
“Okay, sir, I’ll have an officer come by. There is one just a few streets over. Hold tight, okay? Can you stay on the line with me until the officer arrives?”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes, of course, I can. Thank you so much.”
Help was coming. I wasn’t alone. Hell, I was never truly alone, but to know that this would all be over soon made me dizzy with relief.
I touched my neck lightly, and when I pulled my hand away, there was a small amount of blood, from Faith's nails, I supposed. While I was distracted, Faith grabbed the phone from my ear and threw the device across the room with a shriek.
So much for staying on the line until help arrived, I thought bitterly.
“You called the police on me?” She asked, clearly betrayed and hurt.
“I had to, Faith. You can't just hurt people because they aren't giving you what you want. I'm sick of the abuse, damn it.”
“I'm sorry,” she blubbered. “I - I don't know what's wrong with me.”
“I don't either, but I genuinely hope you get some help before our child comes. I hate to think you'll be like this to them.”
A long silence passed between us, and when Faith spoke again, it was in a soft voice.
“There is no child, Neville.”
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
“I made it up, because I thought it would keep you with me. I guess I was wrong. I just couldn't lose you!” She implored.
She leaned forward and tried placing a hand on my thigh. “Please, don't do this. Don't leave me,” she wailed.
I stared at her, aghast. I couldn’t form words, but thankfully, I didn’t have to. A moment later there was a loud knock at our door.
“Highland Lakes Police Department, open up!” Called a stern voice from the other side.
I stood to answer the door, my movement ripping Faith's hands from my pant leg.
During the entire interview by the police, during which they spoke to both me and Faith separately and took pictures of my injuries, including the bruising from the previous altercation.
Faith didn't fight when they announced they would be arresting her. She was strangely subdued, and I almost felt bad for her.
Almost.
When the police left an hour and a half later, they handed me a piece of paper with a string of numbers on it.
“In 48 hours, you can come to the station and get a copy of the report. It will help you to get a restraining order, if you want one.”
They tipped their hats and left after that. I was left alone in my apartment for the first time in years. I had a lot of work to do, with regard to getting Faith's stuff packed and removed, and making sure to file for the restraining order on time, but for the first time in a long time I was full of hope. I even felt optimistic.
Chapter Eighteen
Cedar
I tried to escape a conversation after the end of class. I really did. Neville had come for the first time in weeks. I'd been so pleased when he respected my wishes that we stop talking after that afternoon in the parlor. I thought that spoke highly of his character.
Yet here he was, waiting in the lobby after coming to class for the first time since then. I had tried to ignore his presence in class, a major feat considering how terrible he was at yoga. He required a lot of help, and because I was the instructor, I was sort of obliged to help him.
I figured he wanted to talk, which is why he showed up, and I wasn't inclined to reopen that fresh wound.
If I was being perfectly honest though, I didn't really want him to leave me alone, as best as that was for both of us. I thought at some point, I would stop thinking about him, that I'd stop daydreaming about his kisses, or about him walking through my studio door to sweep me off my feet.
Here he was though, having walked through my door.
Fuck.
Bethany followed me back to my office, seeming a little harried.
“Should I send him away?” She whispered conspiratorially.
I sighed, thinking. “No, send him back. I guess I can talk with him for a few minutes.”
“All right, if you're sure,” she replied with some hesitation.
I walked to the mirror on my desk and checked to make sure I looked halfway decent. I pulled my lip balm from a drawer and applied it in one smooth motion, vowing to myself that I wouldn't cross the desk, lest our lust for one another take over. Granted, that was assuming he still felt the same.
If he doesn't, said a small voice in my mind. Then why is he here, hmm?
Shaking my head to rid myself of the thoughts, I took a deep breath, and pretended to be busy with papers in case I needed a ready excuse to kick him out of my office. You know, if things got to be too awkward.
Which was very possible. I had almost fallen in love with a man whose abusive ex was having his kid, after all.
Neville walked through the door then, interrupting my internal monologue of panic.
“Hey,” he said smoothly.
He remained by the door, leaning against the door jamb.
“Hey,” I replied, trying to keep the quavering out of my voice. “I'm surprised to see you!”
“I know, I know. Yo
u wanted me to stay away for a bit. I just-”
“How's Faith?” I interrupted. “I figured she wouldn't try my class out, but I kept a spot open for her, anyway. How's the pregnancy?”
I wanted to keep us focused. Already, I was feeling the flush in my cheeks as my eyes took in his tattooed, muscular body. He wore the same black shirt and dark blue jeans he always did, but man did that style work for him.
“Ah,” he said. He shifted, clearly uncomfortable. “It doesn't exist, the pregnancy, I mean.”
I felt a tinge of sadness. “Oh, did she lose the baby? I'm so sorry, Neville.”
I meant it, but he shook his head.
“No, I mean, it never existed. She made the whole thing up to get me to stay with her. When I told her I wouldn't be staying with her no matter what, she lost her shit, basically.”
He pulled his collar down and showed me the bright scars on his neck. It looked like a feral cat attacked him.
“She did this in an attempt to strangle me. Her hands are tiny though, so this is about all she could manage,” he shrugged.
I sat in stunned silence for a moment. “She just... made it all up?”
I didn't even know what to say about the scars. What a terrible thing to do to someone you claimed to love.
“Yeah. It was a ploy the entire time. That's sort of why I'm here. I wanted to give you the space you asked for, but it's been a few weeks now and I thought it might be okay if I came to talk to you now.” He scratched the back of his neck as he spoke, looking somewhat bashful.
“You couldn't have called?” I asked with a small laugh.
“No, I mean, I thought about it, but I wasn't sure you'd answer my calls.”
“Ah, yeah, good point. Come in and sit down, you look so uncomfortable standing by the door like that,” I said, gesturing to the chairs in front of me.
Neville paused for a moment, but slowly made his way over to the chair so he could sit as I suggested. There was a long moment of silence between us, and I struggled for the right words to say in this situation. I didn't have to speak, however, as he spoke up a moment later.
“Faith was arrested,” he said, his tone one of feigned calm.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I went to talk to her after you left, and she attacked me, so I called the police and had her removed. The apartment was in my name, and so they were able to get her on assault and trespassing. I've since moved out, and she was bailed out by her father, of course. I was able to get a restraining order, and she doesn't know where I live now.”
He paused, not meeting my eye. “I need to know if she's come by here again. Has she bothered you?”
I shook my head. “No, I haven't seen her since she came to the studio. Bethany is under strict instructions to call the police if she sees her though. I didn’t want to take any chances. And we told the guy who owns the CrossFit gym across the way. He told us to call if we need him to act as a bouncer,” I giggled. “Imagine a yoga studio needing a bouncer. How absurd.”
Neville let out a small laugh. “Good, I was worried. I just wanted to make sure you were safe, and that you didn't hate me, I guess,” he said, looking down at his pant leg as he picked at a stray thread.
“Neville, I couldn't possibly hate you. I want you in my life, I just didn't want to complicate things for you even more, does that make sense?”
He nodded and looked up to meet my eyes.
“It does, but... Forgive me for being so bold, but I figure it's now or never. Cedar, I want to be with you. I tried to just move on after everything that happened, but I realized life is too short, and it's full of drama all the time anyway, so why not go through all that together?”
I paused, the only sound in the room was the water fall on the other wall. It was deafening in the silence.
“I want that, too,” I admitted in a whisper. “I spent the last few weeks trying to forget you, trying to move on, but was impossible. You're ever present in my mind, and I can't imagine life without you. It was weird. Even though we've only known each other such a short time, you bring so much good to my life.”
I paused to take a deep breath, then continued, “I'm concerned about the fact that you and I both have past trauma to deal with. I don't want to become codependent, to use each other to heal, and end up falling into bad patterns, you know?”
“That makes sense,” Neville said. “But I don't think it will be that bad for us. Maybe we can take it upon ourselves to enter couple's counseling? Maybe that could help us cope with entering a new relationship after both of our previous ones ended so terribly.”
“Yeah, all right,” I smiled.
Neville stood and walked around the desk to meet me as I stood from my chair.
“I'm feeling rather optimistic about this,” he breathed.
“Yeah?” I said, meeting his eyes.
“Yeah. You're honestly the best person I've ever met, Cedar.”
The way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. He bent and brushed his lips against mine. His lips parted and his tongue slid against my lips until they parted, allowing him to kiss me fully.
Yeah, this is going to work, I thought, kissing him in return. Everything will turn out just fine.
Epilogue
Neville
I fiddled with the bow tie I wore at Cedar's insistence. Apparently, you weren't supposed to wear a tux with a proper tie, which I actually knew how to put on. And she wouldn't let me wear a clip-on either.
“That's cheating!” She kept repeating during the whole wedding planning process.
“Dude,” Levi said standing in the doorway. “How pitiful are you? Here.”
He tossed me a small box, and I opened it to find a clip-on bow tie in the exact color of the one I was supposed to be tying on.
“Thank fuck, man,” I breathed. “I was never going to get that stupid thing tied.”
“No problem. I'm going to head out and make sure things are ready for us to get going. You all right here?” He gestured to the groom's room.
I looked around at the dark wood paneling and gray cushioned furniture, scattered with the remains of clothing and items we needed to get ourselves ready for the ceremony.
“Yeah, I'll be fine.”
No sooner had Levi exited through one door than did Cedar appear in a door on the other side of the room. I blinked at her, astonished. I had thought that door led to a closet.
I didn't focus on the way she had entered too long though, as she had appeared fully dressed and prepared for the ceremony. She wore an ivory gown with simple ruching on the bodice. The skirts trailed behind her, and she rustled like a giant bush as she walked. The strapless bodice accentuated her breasts perfectly, and it took everything in me not to bury my face there.
She was stunning. My eyes trailed up from her dress to meet her gaze, and there on her perfectly made-up face was an expression of worry and fear.
“Cedar!” I cried. “What's the matter, is everything all right?”
A lead ball dropped into my stomach at the thought that she might be here to call everything off. An irrational thought, born of zero logic, since I knew she would never do that to another soul.
“Sort of. I was just afraid you might have bailed, or that you might bail. I love you, and I can't go through that again.”
She walked across the room and met me where I stood, placing her manicured hands on my chest. She looked directly into my eyes and I could see tears forming on her water line.
“Cedar, I'm not going anywhere. God, I'd have to be the biggest idiot in the world to let you go, you know that right?” I smiled, running a thumb under her eye to rid her of the tears spilling down her cheeks.
“I know that, logically,” she smiled forlornly. “I just... I was standing in there with the girls, thinking it was so similar to the last time, and how excited I was, and I just had to come see you. I had to be sure you were still sure.”
I pulled her into a hug then, and whispered softly into her ear, “I
am here. Always and forever. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'd be a fool to let that go. Not to mention, it never even crossed my mind. I love you, Cedar.”
We broke apart as someone nearby cleared their throat.
“Thomas!” Cedar cried.
“It's almost time, and Ivy came to find me. She was worried you'd run off.” His eyes darted between me and Cedar.
“Don't worry, everything is right on track,” Cedar explained. “I'll go back to the girls so they stop panicking though.”
She turned to look at me once more, and grabbed my hand, holding it until she was too far away to keep it in her tiny hands. She disappeared through the door she had came through, and I turned to find her brother glaring at me.
“Hey there,” I said timidly. “Can I help with something?”
“Just don't hurt her, man,” Thomas said. “I'm pretty sure I can't handle that again. She was so upset last time.”
“I know, I won't,” I smiled. “Better head out there. Levi will be coming to find me in a moment.”
Thomas nodded once and departed. In the two years since Cedar and I met, he had made it clear several times just how displeased he should be if I were to break her heart. Given he was ex-military and basically terrifying, and I loved Cedar more than life itself, it wasn't hard to promise I wouldn't harm a hair on her head.
I readied myself, which took much less time with the clip-on tie, and in next to no time I was standing at the altar, watching down the aisle for Cedar.
The venue was outdoors, just outside of the building where we readied ourselves, and would soon hold the reception. We constructed a small altar underneath a giant tree and arranged the chairs for the guests in a way that they would be under the shade throughout the ceremony. The wedding being outside meant that little decoration was needed, but there were yellow flowers at the end of every aisle, bringing a brightness to the proceedings that perfectly reflected the overall mood of everyone in attendance.
First came the flower girls, nieces of mine. They dutifully spread their petals all over the aisle, the guests, and themselves. Everyone laughed as they danced and trotted away from the aisle as soon as they ran out of petals halfway through.
