“James, you need to get some sleep and have a talk with Yasu.” If there was something I didn’t want to do it was have a talk with Yasu.
“Hear me out.” He said. forestalling my complaints.
“You’re going to have the Wake Up drained from you and a solid eight hours then have a talk with her when your head’s clearer. Non-optional, I’ll have your security detail hold you down if I have to.” The intensity of his eyes showed me he wasn’t lying. Thinking about being dragged to my room, kicking and screaming, did not paint a pretty picture.
“Fine, I’ll have some sleep as long as I can sleep in my Mecha.”
“I don’t know how you can sleep in that thing, but fine.” We finished off our food quickly. The sooner I finished the sooner I could sleep and wake up I thought as we went to my room, a doctor waiting outside of it with a detox injection to clear my system.
I really need to just get them added to my auto injector, I thought.
They put it into the injector port in my Mecha, the auto injector system putting it everywhere in my body. I started to not feel so good on my feet as I stumbled into my room and lay on the floor, not even able to make it to the bed.
“Help me roll him over.” Rick said as two Mechas turned my body so I was lying on my back on the floor.
With that, I let sleep take me and the ghosts of the brothers and sisters I’d lost visited me.
***
Yasu had been thinking again when another meal was passed under the hatch she’d broken. The hatch was lifted up and then the tray was tossed in. She ate it slowly. Without any exercise, she’d put on weight, though it didn’t matter. None of it really mattered after she’d seen the look of hatred and sadness in James’ eyes. How she’d felt his trust leave her. She felt like such an idiot for listening to Takahashi and the ‘old ways’. She’d messed up anything she’d had with James and he’d never trust her again. Takahashi had been wrong about James. All he saw was the gamer. He didn’t see commander Salchar. He hadn’t seen what James could do up close. He had no respect for a man that deserved it.
After the talks she and James had had about his inability to trust anyone, her understanding of how paranoid he was, she’d stabbed him in the back and, in his eyes, tried to kill him. She felt miserable. The food was bland and tasteless as she stared at a bulkhead she’d sliced through with her plasmid sword. She thought of the looks from Janice and Dave that they’d given James, of sorrow and pity and then the rock hard emotionless masks they’d worn as Janice and Calerd pulled her from her Mecha and placed her in James’ closet. The hatch moved to the side, Rick standing in the doorway, and the hatch closed behind him.
“Why did you do it, and no bullshit.” His tone brooked no argument, she could see how Rick and James had grown, Rick becoming a confident, reliable and joking commander, while James had sully embodied Salchar, being a calming force when needed, but ever the leader who charged with his people instead of staying back.
Rick clearly wasn't joking around now.
“I thought he was sleeping with another female member of the crew,” she said flatly.
“He would never do that, he respects you too much for that, though it seems like that trust and respect wasn’t reciprocated.” Rick’s words hit her like blades as she bit her lip to stop tears. She couldn’t remember when she last cried, but from a few words it was all she could do to stop herself from sobbing. Once she was sure she had control over her own voice, she started talking.
“I just wanted to find out why he was spending all of his time away from me.”
Rick’s eyes softened a bit. “Why didn’t you talk to him?”
“Talk to him? He’s always doing something, around someone, people are always listening, I can’t talk to him. He’ll brush me off, send me to meetings for him, give me a room so he can hide in an obscure closet.” She waved at the room.
“He did those things because he didn’t want to place pressure on you. He knew that you didn’t want marriage. Hell, he didn’t, but you are married and he wants to respect you. He wanted to gradually know what was allowed and not, but he’s been so busy running the fleet that it’s been impossible. Plus, with us going back to Earth, you’ll be able to divorce him or be free of him one way or another.” Rick’s eyes were dark as he looked at the floor.
Yasu couldn’t understand it, being free of that crazy, annoying, stubborn, idiotic man was what she dreamt of. Now, when told that she would be free of him if he was dead or legally when she got to Earth, she felt at a loss of words. She couldn’t remember her life before James had pulled her and a band of recruits together into a working squad, had laid down rules to keep people civilized and then overthrown their masters with ingenuity, a forum made of data pads and his stubborn will that it would be done, and then go on to take the second biggest Syndicate post in the universe in one move.
“No,” she said, her fists bunching.
“What was that?” Rick said, leaning closer.
She grabbed his battle suit, suddenly coming to her full height, five centimetres taller than Rick. She could hear the hatch being thrown aside. “I’m not leaving him,” she said, her eyes locking with his. He held up his hand, stopping the Mechas from taking her down as a small sad smile spread across his face.
“I thought I saw a spark between you two.” He held her hands gently as she relaxed, her cheeks red.
“If you want to keep your marriage, you’re going to have to fight for it and bring it to life,” he said, the sadness and anger in his eyes replaced with happiness and relief as if he’d had the weight of the Resilient lifted from his shoulders. “Are you willing to fight for it?”
“Yes,” Yasu said, looking at the floor and, slowly, up at Rick who still held her hands, now not gripping his battle suit.
“Good, follow me.”
She was whisked out of the room as Rick marched along, dragging her by the hand. He jumped in the lift, sending them to the level the bridge was on.
The protection detail tensed as she came close.
“Shift it!” Rick said.
“She’s not to be allowed in there with him.”
“She’s his damned wife, and I doubt she’s going to be able to kill him while he’s in his Mecha. Plus, I’m making it an order. I will pull you off of that door if need be.” Rick’s eyes were ablaze.
“Scan her,” the man that had stopped them said to his team member, who passed a scanner over her quickly.
“She’s clean.” Sighing and obviously uncomfortable, the questioning guard opened the door with a code and Rick pushed her inside.
“Lock it,” he said as the hatch shut, a look of terror on Yasu’s face.
Locking bolts held the door firmly closed as she scanned the room. The light was dim but just enough for her to see outlines. Like the Mecha lying on the floor thrashing about and mumbling. She watched James as he slept, fighting his demons and talking to people he’d lost. She had never seen him like this before. She’d heard of it before from the people she talked to and trained. The higher up someone was who actually cared for their people, the more ghosts they slept with.
She knew that pain from losing those that she had known in their squad, and those she'd known as Salchar created the Free Fleet.
She felt a need to stop the pain that was written on his face, to hold him and let him share his burden. She knew such actions would only result in him pushing her away, so she sat and watched over him as he slept. She would wait for him this time.
***
I woke with a start. I never woke peacefully anymore. As I saw my sensor registered another person, I rolled, pulling my pistol as I did so and aiming at them.
The shadow didn’t move as my Mecha queried the persons IFF tag.
“Yasu,” I said as I stood up, holstering my pistol. I could still feel the fatigue as I raised the light level of the room so that we could see one another clearly and I took off my helmet.
“You need to sleep more,” she said sof
tly, looking away as if in a, dare I say submissive manner, yet I was still angry to take her tone into account.
“I would if I wasn’t running a fleet and worried about people killing me in my sleep because they don't think I'm fit for command.” You know, the very fear I told you about. I thought as I bit off any words, my whole body tense as I forced it and myself to relax. “I guess we should have a talk about what that was all about. You wouldn’t be in my room otherwise, I would hope and think.” I ground out the last part, making it clear how I felt if she was in my room for any other reason.
“Rick locked me in here. I checked the door, it’s locked and sealed,” she said into the floor at my feet. She tensed slightyly. “So ask away.”
“Did you attack me because you didn't think I was able to command this fleet?” I asked without thinking.
“No.”
I glowered at her, trying to discern if she was lying. To be honest I had expected my authority to be challenged, though I thought it would've been a lot sooner.
Always be on the lookout for those that want what you have. I had promised to look after this fleet. I was no military genius, as was evident in the manner of how the Free Fleet personnel and Commandos acted. Salutes, big ceremonies and speeches were rare, practically nonexistent. This force didn't need to be babied, and things such as marching and drill were only used as punishment.
I had often thought of how I was 'playing' commander, but after Parnmal I knew I had to embody that person. I truly became Salchar, which had been reinforced by Yasu in front of me.
“Why did you assist Takahashi in his coupe?” I asked, my eyes not leaving Yasu's downward cast face.
“I didn't know it was a coupe.” She looked into my eyes. “You're my commander. I would do anything you ordered me to. I and anyone in this fleet would follow you into hell.”
That's a boldface lie, I thought, I wouldn't follow someone that had gotten so many people killed.
She continued, her voice rising as she got angry. “I know that you don't think of yourself as the CFF, but you are, so you best not be giving me that look, James Cook!” The fire in her rose as I sat back, taking a few minutes before I said something else.
“So what were you doing, assaulting my little cubby?” I asked.
To my surprise, Yasu looked at her feet as she blushed. It was the first time that I could remember her without that trained mask for more than a few moments, and actually blushing, I knew it was real by the awkward way she tried to hide it.
“I thought you where having a relationship outside of marriage, which is not taken lightly in Japan, at least not in traditional families. Whenever I tried to talk to you, you where surrounded by people and I wasn’t sure if I could get a truthful answer out of you or if you would be embarrassed if I was wrong. The more you pushed me away and brought others closer the more I thought you had someone else.”
I thought I could hear sadness in her voice. But that couldn’t be, she was the ice mistress after all.
“Every time you slept you slept somewhere new, but on this ship you slept in the same cubby. I didn’t think of any reason for you to sleep in the cubby instead of the Captains quarters, I thought of it as proof of your guilt. I didn’t think that you where trying to give me room so that I wouldn’t feel pressured in our marriage. I’m such a baka! Takahashi kept pressuring me, telling me that we must strike now or my families name would be tarnished. He started as soon as he heard from the Sato sisters that you kept away from me all of the time, used meetings to separate us, even training of the AMC.”
“He wished violence from the start?”
“To him, anything dishonourable deserves violence of some sort. He is a very old fashioned man.”
I nodded, having seen Takahashi myself. “So what should I have been doing?” I said, putting my anger away for a second. This seemed to return some of her hard exterior as she talked.
“Well, we should’ve consummated our marriage at least once at this point, and if we are to sleep, we sleep together so as to share in our problems of the day and relax so that when battle comes our minds are cleared and our blades are ready. Instead, you’ve only slept in a bed once with me, when I forced you to, and then you left as soon as you woke up.” There was no missing the hurt behind those words as I sat down on the bed, a little shocked. She had actually wanted me to be in the same room as her, consummating our marriage. I felt my blood pressure sky rocket as I was more awake without Wake Up than I had been in months, and I was blushing like a school girl.
“Ahh, uhh, well then. I think we need to learn to communicate more.” I stumbled through my words as I saw the corners of Yasu's mouth twitch upward while I collected myself. “So, what should we do from here?”
“I’ll probably be thrown into the brig for assaulting you as well as a bunch of charges. Then shipped to Parnmal with Takahashi?” she said, her statement becoming a question.
“Well, did you attack me with a desire to take command or disrupt the attack on Sol System in any way or affect this ship or fleet?”
“No.”
“Then I see it as a violent altercation of team members. This type of thing has happened before.” I shrugged as she visibly relaxed.
“What about Takahashi?”
I leaned back as I became more serious, my voice dark.
“This might be an issue between us, but his involvement is unwarranted, and he was to become a battalion commander. He should have confronted me and made me aware of this issue, not assisted on attacking me. His purpose was violent. He wanted retribution for seemingly tarnishing your name, which does not make him innocent. Though this is a strange situation I will waive most of the charges, but he will remain without rank or privileges. He will become a grunt again in the AMC. Unless someone warrants otherwise. It will be put before tribunal.” I pulled out my data pad, sending off a message to reflect my decisions.
“On a side note, I think I should tell Stephanie what he did. She might seem like a bag of wildly contained bouncing energy, but with this I think she won’t be too happy. She’s been talking to me about how he blows her off all the time. To find out that he tried to attack me for blowing you off, now that will be interesting to watch,” I said with a grin.
“He hasn't any long term relationships that I know of. Even with Stephanie being thirteen years old, I think she'll make Takahashi understand she is no child anymore,” she reflected as I nodded.
“So, I have my rank back and everything?” she asked after a few moments of reflection.
“Yes, though I expect to have that room rebuilt before we reach Sol System,” I said as I looked at her.
“So, fix the room. What else should we do in the meantime?” The way she bit her lip clearly showed what she wanted to do. Apparently she had some stress to work through. Though I was still bone tired, Wake Ups or not.
“I think talk, and if you aren’t going to stab me, I’m going to take this off and have a shower.” I indicated my Mecha as I stood.
“I won't stab you.” Her tone was a little exasperated as she rose slowly too. I hid my grin. Somewhere deep inside, I’d missed her, and maybe not that deep inside.
I started taking off the Mecha, helmet first.
“You really are slow,” she said from behind me. Just as I was about to whirl around I felt deft hands helping me out of my Mecha, and I relaxed.
“Thanks,” I said. Yasu nodded and shook her head at my Mecha as she went to a closet. I quickly made my way to the bathroom as I saw her pull a deodorizing can for the Mecha.
Maybe I should have spent a little less time in the thing, I thought as I got into the shower. I luxuriated in the feeling of water flowing over me as my muscles relaxed and I felt a little smile form on my face.
I'm with Yasu and I don't mind it,” I said to myself as I continued to wash myself off. Some time later I heard the hiss of the hatch open, followed by the shower opening as I felt Yasu press against my back, hugging me. I felt my eyes widen in al
arm as certain, erm, things pressed up against me as she held me.
After a few moments I turned around, facing her.
“I know we used to be enemies, but everything changed when we were recruited. I can see that I was wrong.” She said, looking at my chest as I studied her as well. It was hard not to.
“You are a good warrior, no matter what I said, and I want to make this work.”
“Uhmm, okay.” Brilliant response I know, but I wasn’t exactly thinking with all my brain there.
She grinned as she crooked an eyebrow. “Something on your mind?” she asked.
“Just a lil something.” Her face split into a grin as she reached up, kissing me. It was rough and hard, but I liked it as I pulled her to me. After a few seconds she pulled away, my lips aching for hers.
“It’s about time we made this marriage real.” She guided me to the bedroom, dripping from the shower still as she pushed me on the bed.
The rest resulted in a very wet bathroom and then a soaked bed, which I fell asleep on again. I awoke to Yasu throwing me a battle suit.
“We’re about to start charging wormhole generators,” she said as I got to the end of the bed, putting the battle suit on as she pressed against me, her battle suit seeming much more seductive as I touched and caressed it.
I felt closer to Yasu than I had ever, not because of consummating our marriage, but because we'd shared our lives with one another; we’d talked until we’d fallen asleep about her father, my life with Mecha Tail. I don’t think I’d talked to anyone as freely as I talked to Yasu. I didn’t know what I was saying until I said it. I told her everything and she did the same. There weren’t any barriers anymore. Within a night we’d gone from an unsure two individuals to a married couple, and I kind of liked it. It gave me a sense of security I hadn't had before.
Coming Home (Free Fleet Book 2) Page 3
