There were a dozen texts and even more missed calls from Corbin. But I couldn’t be bothered with reading his messages. I only glanced at the last one—mainly because it was short and didn’t require much thought to comprehend—and noticed that he’d asked if he could come over tonight to talk. I guess it worked out for the best that I’d taken my impromptu road trip.
I quickly tapped out a reply and pressed send.
Me: I’m really tired, so maybe we can meet up tomorrow instead? Please respect my decision. I don’t have anything left in me tonight.
Then I turned on the do not disturb function and headed home.
* * *
Firm knocking woke me out of a dead sleep. I laid there for a moment, still unsure of what had actually awoken me. I slowly blinked my eyes and then glanced around. I didn’t see anything. It was Monday, so Phyllis had gone with our neighbor to play bridge at the local senior center.
At the realization that it was Monday—and based on the amount of light seeping through my blinds, I knew it had to around midday—I sat up straight, nearly jumping out of bed in a panic that I’d missed work. But just as I was about to whip the covers off me, I remembered that it was a teacher duty day—the schools were closed.
I didn’t even get to fully relax before another set of harsh knocking resounded from the front door. They weren’t the thuds that resulted from pounding, but more like heavy knuckles impatiently beating on wood. Then again, they could’ve been frantic of fearful knocks.
Either way, it was enough to pull me from the confines of my bed. But I didn’t hurry. Just because they were impatient didn’t mean I had to be as well. And by the time I’d made it to the front window and peeked past the curtains, recognizing Corbin’s car parked along the curb in the space he’d dubbed his reserved spot, my speed managed to decrease even more.
I turned the deadbolt and swung open the door, holding up one finger to silently communicate that I needed a moment before he started talking. Then I picked up the pace and ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth, pull my hair back, and wash my face. When I was done, I found him in my room, sat on the edge of my bed with his head in his hands.
It’d be a lie if I said my heart didn’t break a little at that sight.
“What are you doing here, Corbin? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I walked past him and grabbed my cell from my nightstand, remembering that I hadn’t taken it off do not disturb. Aside from the countless missed calls and texts from Corbin, I also saw the time. It was eleven in the morning—I hadn’t slept this late since I was a teen.
“I needed to see you.” His eyes bore into mine, and in them, I saw nothing but fear and pain—although I had not a clue what had caused him pain. I hadn’t lied to him.
“So you just left work before lunchtime to come see me?” I understood that I was making this harder than I needed to, but I was still upset and confused and half-asleep. It was all I could do to sit and talk to him right now.
“Yes. You weren’t answering any of my calls, and you weren’t reading your messages. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since you left my parents’ house. I even came by last night, but your car wasn’t in the driveway. I’ve been losing my mind, Brooke. So yes, I left work before lunchtime because I needed to see you. I had to know that you’re all right, even if you’re still angry with me.”
“I’m not angry, Corbin.” And I wasn’t. Hurt and upset? Yes. Mad? No.
He shifted on the mattress to face me. “Please tell me I haven’t lost you.”
I had to look away, the terror in his eyes made my heart hurt. “No. You haven’t lost me.”
He threw me by surprise when he leaned forward and, with one hand cradling my face, covered my mouth with his, kissing me deeply. It was intense, but he didn’t use his tongue or make it sexual; it was more than that. Which only served to completely confuse me once again.
After a moment, he broke the kiss, yet he didn’t let me go. He dropped his forehead to mine and asked, “Can we talk?” His emotions radiated through me and I tried to keep them separate from my own, but it was hard.
“Yeah,” I whispered, and with a sigh of relief, he dropped his hand into my lap and pulled away so that we could comfortably see one another without needing a chiropractor. “I’ll be straight with you, Corbin…I’m confused. And before you ask me about what, the answer is, everything.”
“I completely understand that, and I’m really sorry, Bridge. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I know. I knew that yesterday, too. But there was just so much going on, so many emotions swirling around, that I couldn’t make sense of any of it. If I’m being honest, I still don’t think I’m able to make sense of it.”
He nodded and regarded the rumpled sheet between us for a moment before asking, “Do you think it’s possible to discuss where we go from here?”
I nodded, but my heart pounded so wildly in my chest that I wasn’t able to speak.
Yesterday morning, I’d known exactly what I wanted, and I had every intention of going after it. Corbin hadn’t made a secret of his feelings since the beginning, so it wasn’t like I had any worry that he’d turn me down or surprise me by saying he didn’t want the same things. I wasn’t scared to tell him how I felt.
But the last twenty-four hours had changed so much.
Yes, I still knew where his head was at. I didn’t question or doubt his feelings or what he wanted with me going forward. And yes, I still wanted all the things I had prior to walking into his parents’ back yard yesterday. My confusion was more or less tied up in all the messy pieces we’d left loose—or should I say, that I had left loose when I walked out on him and Nellie.
“You lied to me,” I whispered. “About the plan. You never did anything. Why did you tell me that you had?”
“When I originally agreed, I’ll be honest…I didn’t want to do it, but I figured that if I was able to work it into my schedule, then why not. But soon, you and I started hanging out, and instead of putting energy into someone else, I wanted to put that energy into you. At first, I lied about it to give me excuses to see you. To talk to you. Even if they were just text messages. But then we started actually seeing each other. I never wanted to entertain Heather. I just wanted to be with you.”
That wasn’t something I could argue with. “Well, since we’re being honest with one another…I can’t be upset at you for that. I thought I wanted you to follow through with the plan, but that was because I was so stuck on wanting to get revenge that I didn’t fully think it through. And by the time I did contemplate what that would mean, I realized I no longer cared if Heather cheated on Chase.”
“Why the change of heart?”
“I decided to stop worrying about what happens to him and start focusing on what I have in my own life. Not to mention, without him breaking my heart the way he did, I never would’ve gotten the chance to be with you. Once I stopped focusing on the anger and started looking at all the positives that came from it, it was a lot easier.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me that when you realized it?”
“I guess I didn’t know how without explaining all of my feelings, and at the time, I wasn’t ready to do that yet. My mind was still all over the place, so I figured I’d wait until I had a better understanding of my feelings before discussing it all with you.”
He placed his hand on my thigh, making me take note of my wringing fingers, which called my attention to my nervous habit of nibbling on the inside of my cheek. But when his eyes held mine, he had my undivided attention.
“I care for you, Bridge. So damn much. You’ve imbedded yourself into my life without even trying. Everything is so easy with you, so effortless, exactly the way things should be.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Easy? Effortless?” I laughed and then playfully rolled my eyes at him. I had a habit of using humor to deflect during uncomfortable situations, and this conversation was the epitome of uncomfortable. “I don’t think I’d us
e either of those words to describe us, Corbin.”
“You’re right, it hasn’t been easy in some ways, but I don’t think that’s anything against us. If it had only been us, just the two of us, things would’ve unfolded so much differently. But instead, we had my sister, and the plan, and my parents, and Lindsey… We had so much stacked against us, but look at how well we did.”
He made a very valid point. Not that I hadn’t believed him prior to that speech.
“We have so much in common, Bridge. And more importantly, we have fun together. Our sexual chemistry is off the charts, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think we’ve even scratched the surface. All of these things make me optimistic about the future.”
“I get that. But you’re failing to acknowledge some very important details. Such as the fact that Nellie hates the idea of us being together. Our relationship has pretty much destroyed your entire family dynamic! That’s pretty huge, Corbin. If we’re together, does that mean you can never see your family again? How would that even work?” I realized that I’d started twisting my hands in my lap again, but no matter how hard I tried to make it stop, I couldn’t, which only served to increase my nervousness.
“Nellie and I had a long conversation yesterday.”
Well, that piqued my interest. “Does she hate me?”
“She loves you, and I think that’s why this is so hard for her. She feels like you’re choosing me over her, but that’s because she’s only considered things from her point of view. So we talked about broadening her horizon and putting herself in your shoes. And mine.”
I nodded. What he said made sense, but I needed more.
“You’ve basically grown up like sisters, except you weren’t raised with the same family dynamic, so you process things very differently. Give her some time, and I swear she’ll come around. Your friendship is stronger than this. Have some faith in it.”
I decided to put the Nellie situation on the back burner for now, because his words made me feel better and gave me hope. But also, because it was time to concentrate on the dilemma that we had right in front of us.
“Listen, I don’t mean this in any malicious way, but maybe you need to think of the other position, too. Just like you advised Nellie to do, maybe you need a moment in the other shoe.”
His gaze narrowed and brow furrowed, confusion darkening his eyes.
“If you take a step back, you’ll recognize that I’m not good for you. You’re Corbin Fields, the self-proclaimed workaholic who’s turned into leaving early and arriving late. Here you are, in my room at eleven o’clock in the morning on a workday. That’s not you. You’ve spent weekends and evenings with me, doing mindless activities instead of putting in the hours at AdCorp.”
I could tell he wanted to cut me off, but he didn’t. He allowed me to continue my rant while sitting there and taking it all.
“You don’t play hooky or skip meetings. You’re absent from daily life, and work is your priority. Yet ever since you started seeing me, your work ethic has gone to shit. And you can’t deny that it’s all because of me.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? Being present in daily life, making the people I love a priority over my job? Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?”
I ignored the giant purple elephant in the room—the L word—since it wasn’t necessarily directed at me and continued to make my point. “But that’s not what you do. What if you’re just fitting into my life? Giving up your dreams for me? That’s an awfully big burden to bear. Not to mention, your parents—your entire family—loves Lindsey. They all want you to be with her, not me.”
“Do you seriously think I’m that impressionable? That I’d spend a month with someone and suddenly start thinking like them? Not to mention, what’s so wrong with taking a page from your book? For the first time in my life, I’m living. So what if you taught me that? All that should matter is that I feel alive.” He paused and shook his head. “And I’ve already told you…it doesn’t matter if the entire world wants me with Lindsey. I want you. Only you. No one else. End of story, because I won’t repeat myself again.”
Well, that certainly was an effective way to shut me up.
“Don’t you see, Bridge? I’m finally present in my own life. The other day, I stopped by my parents’ and had dinner with them out of the blue. Then my dad and I played chess, something we haven’t done since I was a kid. I’m not giving up on my dreams. Not even close. I’m finally fulfilling them. I was lost until you found me and showed me the right direction. You’re not a bad influence. Quite the opposite, really. You saved me.”
My eyes filled with tears, and every time I tried to speak, my voice broke, so I gave up.
He brought my tangled hands to his lips and kissed them. “I love you, Brooklyn Bridge.”
My eyes widened. I’d been able to successfully ignore the slight mention of love a few moments ago, but there was no way I’d be able to pretend I hadn’t heard him say that. Instead, I didn’t say or do anything. Just stared at him.
“I really do, Brooklyn. I cannot for the life of me imagine a day without you in it. Every day we’re apart, I spend it thinking and planning of what we’ll do, excited for when we’re together again. You belong with me, by my side.” Each word spoken was full of raw emotion, it was clearly etched in his face and body language.
But I was scared to voice how I felt—how I truly felt about him—so I decided to start small. “I care about you, too, Corbin.”
“Well, that was like a knife to my heart,” Corbin joked, though he couldn’t hide his true feelings. It’d hurt him not to hear it back, but I had to go about this at my own pace.
“No, I’m serious. I really do, probably more than I’ve ever cared for anyone else—Nellie included. I’m on the verge of losing the most important friendship I’ve ever had…for us. But more than that…for me. Because it’s what I want. I do want to be with you, but I’m scared. I’m terrified that if I put myself out there, I’m going to get hurt. I’m petrified that if I give you my heart, you’ll stomp on it like Chase did. I endured Chase doing that because I didn’t really love him. But if you did it, there’s no way I’d survive. Does that make sense?”
“Yes,” he said quietly.
“When Chase left, my whole world had been flipped on its head. I’d planned our future, nurtured our relationship…but it was all me. Not him. I realized I drove the relationship and set the tone, but I never really made sure he was on board with everything. I was in love with the idea, not the reality. But you…” I released a drawn-out sigh. “Being with you is different. I do love you, Corbin Fields. More than I even wanted to admit.”
Without pause, he took me into his arms, and I hoped he’d never let go.
This was what I wanted. As soon as the words had left my mouth, peacefulness set in, and it served as confirmation that I’d made the right decision. I’d finally had the courage to share my heart, mind, body, and soul with him.
I’d battled the fear.
And won.
It wouldn’t influence this decision. And I’d start working on not allowing it to affect the other choices in my life, either. The next one on my list to tackle was Nellie. That would be a hard one. But no matter what happened, Corbin would be by my side, and we’d weather the storms together.
That was all the encouragement and support I needed.
* * *
Corbin and I had made plans to see each other once girls’ night was over, and then he’d gone back to work. Which meant I’d had nothing else to do all day but obsess over my impending conversation with Nellie. And I didn’t need to overthink it one more time. I was ready to confront her head-on. Not in a negative way, but to finally come clean with what had happened and apologize for not being up front with her.
I finished my third soda while continuing to drum my fingers along the table.
“What up, chicken butt?” At least Mady’s greeting was enough to put a much-needed smile on my face. “How are things?”
>
“That’s kind of a loaded question,” I confessed.
“Yeah, sorry. I don’t even know what all happened yesterday. Nellie came out for the adult egg hunt, all sorts of pissed at the world, and you were nowhere to be found. Julie and I left shortly after that. Nellie kind of made it awkward for everyone, to say the least.”
“I don’t doubt that, but I’m hopeful we can get through this.” When my refill was brought to the table, I took my straw from the empty glass so Dandy could take it with her and then turned my attention back to Mady. “Do you know if Nellie’s coming tonight?”
“No idea. I haven’t heard from her since yesterday.”
“Haven’t heard from who?” Julie gave us each a one-armed hug in greeting before taking her seat to my left, leaving Nellie’s usual seat to my right empty. “Who are we talking about?”
“Nellie,” Mady answered. “Have you talked to her?”
“Yeah. I finally got ahold of her about an hour ago to see if she was coming. I wasn’t sure after what happened yesterday—which I still don’t have all the pieces to. She said to order her usual drink, that she’d be a few minutes late.”
My stomach turned into knots. I did everything I could think of to untangle the uncomfortableness, but nothing worked. I’d just have to do my best and get through what lay ahead while keeping my head held high. There was no telling what all she’d said yesterday after I left, and I didn’t think it would be right to put the girls in the middle of it by asking—although, after tonight, they’d most certainly be in the middle of it.
“Hello, everyone.” Nellie finally made an appearance. She greeted us as a group, and even though she didn’t hug or greet me personally, she seemed okay. That was, until her eyes landed on me. Then a coldness took over that nearly had me running.
I couldn’t do this. Maybe I should let things lie low for a while.
There were a few tense moments while everyone placed their orders, but once Dandy walked away, it turned into awkward silence. No one knew what to say, or even where to look.
The unEXpected Plan Page 28
