Every night the ten horses and twenty pack mules had to be led farther and farther afield to find forage, and the water was often sulphurous and unpotable. Their emergency supply had become brackish by now, and added a stale taste to everything they cooked. By the time they crossed the summit of the hills and found the Dry Sandy River, both humans and animals were anxious to reach Fort Bridger and the comforts it promised.
Besides having a sore rump, Glee thought she had done rather well, all things considered. She and her mare "Honey" had made friends by now, and they had a quiet understanding: Honey didn't bite and Glee didn't saw on the reins as she had been wont to do during the first few days.
It galled Glee that Alex had been the one to discern her problem with the animal and explain how to correct it. She ignored him, of course, and went on getting nipped for several more days before she relented and used his advice. From that point on, she and Honey had been non-combatant, which got Glee a few words of congratulations from her friends, and a glittering smile from Alex.
It appeared that Amina and Erdogan had fared about as well, and were beginning to look more confident with the animals. But it had been hard work for everyone involved, and no one was expendable. As a consequence, Alex was allowed to work in camp without manacles. His leg-shackles were not discarded, however, and made his usually long, smooth gait decidedly awkward. They did prevent him from escaping though, and that was all that mattered.
It snowed during their decent from the hills to the Dry Sandy and again the morning they reached the junction of the Oregon and California Trails at the Big Sandy River. Steam rose from the sulphurous pools and hot springs they passed and Glee longed again and again for a hot bath. When they were thoroughly cold and uncomfortable, Fletcher pulled them off the trail and led them to a meadow some two miles off.
The color that assailed her eyes made Glee gasp. She pulled off her spectacles to be sure the myriad greens, yellows, reds and oranges were really there and not some exhaustion-induced hallucination. Everywhere she looked the age-rounded boulders were coated with brightly colored algae in a vibrant spectrum, perhaps made more vivid by the contrasting whiteness of snow patches dotting the meadow. Small mud pools burbled, other-worldly, as they rose toward a snow-coated rise. The rise faced an identical mound, which hid the source of a constant fog of steam.
"Camp here," Fletcher announced. "They's a big ole hot pool o'er that thar hill, and I aim to soak in it while you set up." He dismounted and threw his reins at a dead scrub bush. It wasn't long before he disappeared over the far rise, saddle bags slung over his shoulder.
"Why does he never help?" complained Erdogan, as he pulled out one of the two big tents they were now using to stave off the cold.
Glee began peeling the accoutrements from Honey's back. "Just be glad he's going to take a bath, Erdogan." She snorted. "I guess I shouldn't complain about Fletcher. I probably smell nearly as bad. It's been ten days since I bathed!"
Hakki had released Alex, and they gathered up the pack animals to lead them to food and shelter for the night. "I will hunt when the animals are settled, mistress," Hakki shouted to Glee.
Amina clapped her hands, and Glee smiled. "Marvelous, Hakki!" she returned. "Another brace of rabbits would be like a banquet after so many beans."
Amina, Erdogan and Glee set up the camp with practiced efficiency, and not long after, Fletcher returned. He was wet and straggly, and Glee was gratified that he was smiling and walking with the step-step-lunge gait she recognized now as drunkenness. Soon he would crawl into his tiny tent and sleep. The more she was around the man, the more she disliked him. Even though he had been right about his prisoner's identity, Glee thought the man a fool and knew that she'd not miss him a whit when they parted in California.
Glee and Erdogan took Honey and the other horses to a little grove of pines, where the snow hadn't much penetrated the thick branches, leaving a fair amount of grass for the animals to crop. They spent quite a bit of time currying them, checking their feet and legs, as Alex had taught them, and making sure that the water available from a small creek nearby was potable.
When they returned, they saw Hakki's horse and Alex bending over a carcass of a small elk doe. He was very efficiently carving the beast with a long sharp knife.
Glee frowned and looked around for Hakki, ready to reprimand him for giving their prisoner a weapon. She couldn't see him, though, and so stood and watched Alex working for a few moments, wondering what to do.
"I will rest now, mistress," Erdogan said as he passed her and went to the new army tent he shared with Hakki and Alex. "Later, I will bathe."
Glee nodded distractedly. Her gaze never left Alex. His hands were bloody to his elbows, his shirt discarded to avoid further stains. The dark skin and thick muscles of his back and shoulders were sheened with sweat as he labored. The knife he held glinted in the weak winter sunlight as, very carefully, he peeled back the animal's hide and separated the meat from the bones. Every ripple of muscle, every bulge of hard power, made Glee more angry.
It simply wasn't fair for God to have brought her so near to discovering the mysteries of the flesh, only to take the promise away. No, it had been Satan's work, surely. For only he would find a man so devilishly handsome and clever to aid him. Esteban Garcia: thief, murderer. A man who spoke poetry to seduce her. Lord! Poetry! Her gaze strayed back to his big hands. They were hands that could crush and kill. Undoubtedly the strength was there, but was the will?
He glanced up, likely feeling someone staring at his broad back, and Glee's eyes locked with his for several moments. He seemed to be asking her a silent question and waiting for an answer. How long can you resist me, Señorita? Don't you know I will win in the end?
Glee blinked hard, breaking the contact, and turned to stalk to her tent.
Intent on getting towels and soap for a bath, Glee didn't pause at the flap of the canvas shelter, but pushed it open. Only one foot entered, however, before she stopped hard and her mouth fell open.
The tent was not empty. Nonetheless, the occupants didn't notice Glee. Amina and Hakki were too busy fulfilling nature's most basic urge, their dark bodies pressed so tightly together that it was difficult to tell where one started and the other left off in the shadows of the tent. At first stunned and shocked, Glee stood at the entrance, a silent witness. Then, as her wits returned, she turned and left before the couple noticed her presence.
* * * *
Alex hadn't stopped her entrance to the tent, though he knew what she would find within. The stubborn woman wouldn't have believed him anyway, would have called him a liar or worse. Though it affected him to see Glee come out of the tent pale and shaken, he told himself that she deserved it. If she felt a little jealous that she was not enjoying similar pleasures, then it was her own fault!
Nevertheless, he was compelled to ease his own bitterness somewhat by rubbing salt into Glee's wounds. He wiped his hands on a towel and walked with shortened steps to within inches of her. Her eyes were closed, and she didn't seem to notice his presence.
"It is a lonely thing, eh, querida, to know so well what you cannot have?" he said.
Glee gasped and her eyes shot open. The pitiless need clouding their turquoise depths showed her vulnerability for a heartbeat before it was masked.
She pushed against his chest, but Alex moved closer and caught her hands in his. Ah, what a joy to have his hands free!
"How dare you!" she hissed.
A brief harmony of sounds came from within the tent. Alex watched Glee's eyes close, and her lips press tightly together as she tried to get away; if not physically, then emotionally. He gripped her wrists with the long, strong fingers of one hand and touched her face with the other. Her cheek was silk painted with rose petals. Her delicate jaw so tense and determined to ignore reality. His fingers left a red streak, primitive and harsh against her pale skin.
For a moment Alex wondered what the reality was here, but he only knew that he wanted this woman. He was
drawn to her, inexplicably, and would not be satisfied until he discovered her secrets. But first, he wanted to taste her, experience her, and know her in every sense of the word.
She must have sensed his intense feelings, because she opened her eyes half-way. "Let me go, Alex," she said hoarsely. "I don't want you anymore." Her gaze went again and again to his lips and he knew she was lying.
He shook his head. "No. Lie to yourself if you must, but do not lie to me." He kissed her eyelids, and heard her breath stop. "You want to make love with me. Why do you deny it?"
"Don't do this, Alex," she pleaded, though his name was a groan as his lips touched the shell of her ear. "I hate you. You're a liar and a killer. I don't..." She gasped. "Want... You."
"I am still Alex, sweetheart. Nothing has changed."
His tongue traced a thin line along her jaw, inching toward her lips and she turned her head away. He was relentless, finding her lips and tracing them too.
"No," she whispered. "No, please."
Alex felt the trembling heat of her skin, the hard kernels of her nipples even beneath the layers of her clothing as she pressed against him and his own body ached with need. But he would not force her. It was not his way. Eventually, she would come to him. Even if he had to carry her away with him when he left. Then they would be alone, and she would not be allowed to hide.
He released her so abruptly that she stumbled back and his hands went to her upper arms to brace her. When she was steady, though her breath was rough, as if she had run a very long way, he let go and shook his head.
"Eventually, mi amor, we will finish this thing. There is something between us and it must be satisfied."
Glee ran her hands over her face, weariness making her fingers tremble. "You're wrong," she said as she pinned him with a stubborn, intense turquoise stare. "I was using you to teach me something I needed to know for my father's book. I don't need to know more. I don't need you anymore!"
Alex's frown was menacing. "You used me?"
"Of course!" she proclaimed, realizing that it was a lie as soon as she affirmed it. She hadn't used him, she'd wanted him. Wanted all the sweet sensation and tender affection she could wring from him. It was a profound realization, and one she was unprepared to deal with. Bitterly, she hissed, "And I won't take a murdering thief to my bed. Not ever!"
"No one has asked you to, mujer." He turned stiffly and crossed the camp to finish butchering the elk.
* * * *
Glee found ways to keep herself busy around the camp for the next hour, though she was distracted. Her mind kept replaying her harsh argument with Alex. Was she doomed to loneliness and unfulfillment? She had come so close, had felt something magical with him once. Even under the most dreadful of circumstances, he had been able to arouse her to heights she'd never imagined.
Just two weeks ago, she had been anxious to know what it would feel like to have Alex pressed against her as Hakki had been to Amina. Two weeks ago, Glee would have turned her face toward his kiss, not away. Two weeks ago, she had been very ready to give herself to Alex with no promises expected. But that had all been shattered in a single, heart-breaking moment in Laramie.
The truly horrible part wasn't even that he had lied to her, played her for a fool. It was that she had lied to herself. She still wanted him, and it had nothing to do with intellectual curiosity. She cursed herself every time she looked at him, every time she imagined his hot flesh beneath her hands. And she imagined it far too often.
It was some small consolation that he still desired her, too. Glee almost wished he wouldn't. If he turned away from her, then perhaps she could ignore her perverse feelings. But he didn't turn away. He seemed, instead, to be waiting patiently for her will to give out. She found him, now and then, watching her as she rode her horse or performed some small labor in camp. His tawny gaze seemed to hold a brazen promise; or was it only her imagination? Yes, it must be just a fantasy, a dream she used to salve her wounded ego. The only thing Esteban Garcia promised was another lie.
Amina clapped nearby, and Glee looked up to find her friend smiling. A bitter wave of jealousy swept over her and she responded more harshly than she should have.
"I want to talk to you, Amina. Get towels and soap and we'll bathe. I'm sure you'll want to."
Amina's face fell, and Glee felt a twinge of guilt. It was not enough, however, to keep her from stalking away toward the promised bathing pool without waiting for Amina.
The grass had been tamped down by Fletcher's passing, and there were footprints in the snow, so Glee had no trouble finding the pool. It was much larger than she expected; perhaps thirty feet across. Large bubbles formed at its boiling center, but when she stuck her fingers in at the sandy edge it was just warm. A cooler stream must be adding its current to the hot spring, Glee surmised. A few small boulders, some covered with the colorful algae, surrounded the pool, and Glee chose one of the bare ones to sit down on and remove her clothing.
She was naked and wading into the pool when Amina arrived. Glee saw her but did not acknowledge her until Amina too was entering the pool. Glee had settled onto a sandy shelf where she could rest her head against the mossy bank of the pool.
"I hope you had a good time," Glee said. She was surprised at how snide she sounded, it wasn't what she meant to do.
Amina's soft brown gaze could only be called hurt, but the girl shrugged.
"So you know that I saw you with Hakki," Glee deduced. "Who told you? Alex?"
Amina nodded. "Why are you so angry?" she signed.
"I'm not angry!"
Amina's eyes widened.
Glee pressed her hands to her face, miserably aware that she was indeed angry. Not with Amina or Hakki, but with herself. "I'm sorry."
Amina moved to sit side-by-side with her friend, putting her arm around Glee's shoulders.
"Oh, Lord, Amina," she said, half-sobbing. "I feel as though we'll never reach California. Never end this wretched journey."
Amina moved away to sign, "You are just tired, Glee. And hurt by that pig, Esteban Garcia." Her sign for the big prisoner had changed subtly, indicating that he was cruel and heartless; once again he was Garcia, not Pacheco.
"Is he a pig?" she whispered. Amina pulled her close again. "What is he? Why am I so tormented by him?" Her friend's look was sympathetic and Glee felt hot tears on her cheeks. "How can I want him when I know what he's done? I still think of him as ‘Alex’ and not ‘Esteban Garcia.’ I’m so confused." Glee turned her face into Amina's shoulder and sobbed, curling toward her friend like a child.
"Forgive us, mistress," Hakki said from the far edge of the pool. "We did not know you would be here."
Glee pulled away to see Hakki and Alex. Alex looked from Glee to Amina and back again, and then his jaw tensed and his face became shuttered.
Something about that look made her furious, made her feel judged. "Go away," she shouted. "Just get the hell away from me!"
Hakki bowed and led Alex away quickly.
* * * *
Amina watched Glee as the men left. She saw a potent mixture of anger and desire in the girl's eyes. It was almost pitiful. In some ways, it would have been best for Glee to take the prisoner for a lover. It would take the edge off her curiosity, unlock the room of secrets she knew about but had never experienced. Esteban Garcia was a fine-looking man, and no doubt experienced with women. No man of so exceptional a face and form would be otherwise.
But it was not to be. Glee was refusing to take whatever little pleasure he offered because he had lied to her. Amina couldn't blame her friend, though she would have handled the matter quite differently. Had she been in Glee's position, she'd have used the man, and well, enjoying him for as long as she could. Life was too short to overlook things that brought joy. But Glee was too young and inexperienced to know this truth.
As she watched Glee soaping herself vigorously, Amina wondered if perhaps the girl was avoiding the criminal for another reason. Could it be that she felt more than desire
for the man? Could her heart be telling her that an interlude would not be enough, that she'd want this man for longer than circumstances would allow?
Maybe Glee was not so foolish in her stubbornness. A broken heart took forever to mend.
Chapter 18
Alex awoke in his huge featherbed, white-linen-sheeted and warmly covered with the colorful quilt his mother had made as a wedding gift. His bedroom was much as he had left it, sparingly furnished, with two hide-covered chairs and the broad walnut armoire he brought back from Charleston eight years ago. A soft click at the door caught his attention.
"Magdalena?" he asked, seeing her tiny frame and dark hair in the shadows.
She stepped forward and smiled her angelic smile. "Yes, my love, of course it is me. Who else would be here, Alejandro?"
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