“That’s never happened before.” Kiran’s brow wrinkled. “That I remember. Do it again.”
Rohan didn’t move. “I don’t think I should. I had an urge to bite.”
“Bite?”
“That would mean we were mates,” Rohan said, uncertain of what to feel, given the circumstances.
“Mates? Is that good? It felt good,” Kiran said. “I don’t remember about mates.”
“Maybe it will come back to you soon.”
“What if my memory doesn’t come back?” Kiran demanded. “How do I find out who I am? Where I come from? What if I’m married?” He held up his hands in a stop motion when Rohan recoiled. “I don’t feel married, but what do I know?”
Even though he didn’t want to move, Rohan knew he had to. “There’s no point worrying about it. You need to rest, give yourself time for the drugs or whatever is in your system to pass through.”
“Would I want to bite you if I had someone?” Kieran asked.
“No, or so they say. My parents didn’t believe in a true mate for every shifter, which is why my knowledge is limited.” Relief rippled through Rohan when he realized Kiran spoke the truth. According to his scant knowledge, if Kiran had a mate they wouldn’t feel this weird urge. And they both felt it. That was clear from their erections, the way they both trembled when they received a kiss at the base of their necks.
“Can we ask your parents? Where are they now?”
“They died in an accident. A truck didn’t stop at a red light.”
“I’m sorry.”
Rohan sighed. “It’s okay. Ambar and I miss them but we’re doing all right. On the plus side they died before they could formalize marriage contracts for either of us.”
“With a woman?”
Rohan laughed. “Yeah. I managed to scare most of them off by hinting at my preference for kinky sexual practices.”
“Didn’t your parents find out?”
“I was lucky, although I’m not sure how much longer I could have held out.”
Kiran brushed a kiss on his lips. “Lucky for me.”
“But we don’t know if you have someone in your life. I can’t…” Rohan trailed off as the enormity of their problem came to him. “I can’t have sex with you if you’re married. I’m sorry but I believe in fidelity. I won’t cheat.”
“And what if I never regain my memory? What then?”
Rohan pulled away and moved toward the edge of the bed to put some distance between them. He noticed his hand trembled and he tucked it between his knees. “I don’t know.”
A snort erupted from Kiran. “So you’re going to walk away from this thing between us because I can’t remember my past?”
Rohan swallowed, feeling the pull to the other man, wanting desperately to touch even though he knew he shouldn’t. Before they stepped into any relationship, Rohan needed to know the truth. “I…I don’t know what to do, but I don’t like the idea of not knowing.”
“And you couldn’t have discovered this before I sucked you off?”
Rohan sprang off the bed and glared at Kiran. “You took me by surprise. What was I meant to do, waking up like that?” Rohan held up a hand to stop Kiran when he started to speak. He sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. This is happening so fast. Honestly, I don’t think you have a mate because of the strong physical tug between us. You don’t have a mark. I didn’t mean to imply you were cheating, but I am concerned about your lack of memory. I want to take things slow.”
Kiran stood and glared back. “What am I meant to do?” He gestured at his erect cock.
Rohan was in Kiran’s face before he’d realized he’d moved. He grabbed Kiran by the shoulders and shook him. “This is not my fault. I didn’t come to you. You came to me.”
“Frightened?”
Rohan scowled and tried not to breathe in Kiran’s seductive scent. Even tinged with the faint smell of zoo he drew Rohan, captured his attention. A quick glance at Kiran’s mouth was a mistake. The desire to draw the other man against his chest and kiss him gnawed at Rohan. He leaned closer before he could control the movement.
“Kiss me.”
If Kiran had taunted him again, Rohan might have found the willpower to step away. Instead, the plea in Kiran’s voice pushed past his restraint. With a soft groan, he covered Kiran’s mouth with his and kissed him. It was sweet. It was tentative. It was everything he’d ever dreamed about when he considered being with a male lover. Their lips moved together slowly before Rohan deepened the contact. He flicked his tongue across Kiran’s upper lip. When Kiran opened his mouth, Rohan took advantage, sliding his tongue inside to stroke Kiran’s, his soft palate and the contrasting hardness of his teeth.
He slipped his hands over Kiran’s shoulders and down his back, coming to rest on Kiran’s butt. Rohan swiveled his hips, brushing their straining cocks together.
Kiran’s groan seemed loud in the bedroom, jerking Rohan to the present. He pushed away from Kiran, holding him at arm’s length, chest rising and falling rapidly.
“I can’t think straight when I touch you. All I can think about is fucking you,” Rohan said in a harsh voice.
“And it doesn’t seem to matter that I don’t know anything about my past?”
Rohan let out a harsh breath as the truth hit him. “No.” Hell, what did that make him? Maybe if he learned more about the mating process it might help. If he and Kiran felt this strong attraction, surely there couldn’t be another person in Kiran’s life? He swallowed, going with truth once again. “No, it doesn’t matter. I want you.”
Kiran reached out and stroked Rohan’s face. “Good.” The brush of fingers against stubble made a faint rasping sound when he repeated the caress.
“I don’t…can we take things slow?” Rohan closed his eyes, inhaled and opened them again. “I want…I need to get to know you better.”
Kiran nodded. “That’s fair. I like the idea of learning about you.”
“Good. That’s…ah…good.” Rohan took a step back and dragged a hand through his hair. He sat on the edge of the bed because his legs trembled. Rohan heard rather than saw Kiran round the bed to stand beside him.
“Can I stay here with you for the rest of the night?”
Rohan stared at Kiran for a long moment before nodding. He didn’t have the willpower to send him away.
Chapter Three
Kiran woke feeling safe. In the unguarded moments before full consciousness, his mind drifted, memories flickering like a movie inside his head.
A man. Tall. Naked. He towered over Kiran, his cock erect, the head red and almost angry-looking…
Someone stirred next to him and the memories receded, escaping like mist until his mind was a blank canvas again. Kiran turned his head and stared at the sleeping man beside him. A slow smile bloomed.
Rohan.
His gaze shifted, and he studied his surroundings. They weren’t familiar. A sparse room with no pictures or personal items. Nothing to jog his memory. Kiran turned back to watch Rohan. His straight black hair stuck up and stubble shaded his jaw. His chest rose and fell with each breath, the sound of his breathing just short of a snore.
Kiran glanced down the man’s body, visible because he’d kicked the blankets off. A body with no surplus fat. Strong. Fit. Kiran’s breath started to come faster, the familiar surge of desire shooting through his body to pool in his groin. He remembered sucking Rohan off the previous night, recalled how he tasted, the noises Rohan made deep in his throat when he came.
Kiran also remembered his promise to take things slow between them. He wasn’t sure he could keep his word.
“Morning.”
The raspy voice made Kiran start. His gaze shot to Rohan’s face. “Hi.”
“I want to kiss you.”
“I thought we were taking things slow. One day at a time.” Kiran’s mouth twisted as he said the words. Fool. He shouldn’t have agreed with Rohan. He should have argued, made him see that they wouldn’t have a chance of keeping their ha
nds off each other. Made him feel guilty about the one-sided nature of their loving because he hadn’t come while Rohan had climaxed.
Rohan laughed, the husky sound making Kiran’s cock jerk, the sensation almost painful. Damn, he wanted to touch Rohan so bad. His fingers itched with the pent-up desire.
Rohan moved, propping his body weight on one arm. “Can you remember anything?”
“Only you.”
“That’s too bad.” Rohan’s golden eyes glowed with temptation.
Kiran didn’t even bother to fight his natural inclinations. He sprang, letting instinct guide him. Evenly matched in size, Rohan could have struggled, maybe even fought him off, but he didn’t try to escape.
He relaxed and grinned up at Kiran. “What are you intending to do with me, now that you have me under your control?”
“I know what I want to do with you, but I promised to get to know you better.” Fine time to get a conscience. Kiran ran the thought through his head again and wondered what it meant, what kind of person that made him. Frustratingly, it was the only hint of a memory he had. Maybe he needed to relax, try not to force his mind to concentrate and to gather the clues when they came to him.
“How about some old-fashioned petting?” Rohan asked, amusement simmering in his voice. “Do you think you can control yourself enough to handle that?”
Kiran went with honesty. “I’m pretty close to the edge.”
“There’s no point living without a bit of danger.”
“Why have you changed your mind?” Kiran asked. “I don’t understand you. Hell, I can’t turn myself off and on like a switch.”
The humor faded from Rohan’s face. “You’re right. It’s not fair, and I’m not being honest. It’s intense, ya know?”
Kiran understood without Rohan saying more. Intense was a good word for it—this thing between them. It scared Rohan. Hell, it scared him because deep in his gut Kiran sensed his past wasn’t savory. What if he wasn’t worthy? The people he lived with…they didn’t mate…
The thought melted as soon as he tried to follow it deeper to a natural conclusion.
“What? What is it?”
“When we’re talking I have flashes of thoughts. I try to grasp them and they fade. I end up with nothing. It’s frustrating.”
“You’re pushing too hard. You need to relax.”
Kiran’s mouth curled into a wry grimace. “Easy for you to say.” To emphasize his point, he rocked his hips. The head of his cock grazed Rohan’s hip. The spike of pleasure made him hiss.
They reached for each other at the same time, mouths meeting with hungry abandon.
A sharp knock sounded on the bedroom door. It opened abruptly before either of them had a chance to spring apart.
Ambar burst into the bedroom. “Rohan, he’s gone. Oh! Oops.” She held her hands up to her eyes, spreading her fingers to peek through the gaps a few seconds later. “You know a sight like that might scar a virgin like me for life.” She closed the gaps between her fingers, screening her eyes again.
“Next time you’ll know to wait until I tell you to barge inside my bedroom,” Rohan retorted.
“I’m here,” Kiran added.
“I noticed. And I’ve seen rather more of you than I ever wanted. Can’t you cover up or something?” Ambar peeked through her fingers. “Very nice even though you’re a bit skinny.”
Rohan grasped a blanket and flicked it over their lower bodies.
Kiran frowned. “I’m not skinny.”
“You could do with a few extra meals,” Rohan said. “I noticed it earlier but got distracted.”
Ambar snorted. “Easy to see what distracted you. Lucky I’m a sensible girl. All the revelations hitting lately could have scarred me for life. First I learn my brother is gay then I find him in bed. Naked, I might add, with a man.”
“Ambar, shush,” Rohan muttered. “Go and make us some coffee.”
Ambar folded her arms across her chest. “What did your last slave die of?”
“Disobedience,” Kiran said. An unexpected shudder of horror ran down his spine. The sound of a whip cracked through his mind, the scent of blood. This time he pushed the memory away. He didn’t want to remember this one. His breath eased out again only when the memory faded into obscurity like the others.
Brother and sister stared at him before glancing at each other.
“What?” he asked.
Rohan looked somber. “It didn’t sound like you were joking.”
“I…there was something, but I can’t remember.” Not the entire truth, but it was as much as he was prepared to give.
“I’ll go and make coffee,” Ambar said. “I’ll expect you both out in the kitchen to collect it. Dressed,” she added in a firm voice. “It’s not good for me to see naked men.”
“She says that now,” Rohan said to Kiran. “I bet she changes her mind in the future.”
“Hmm, maybe a Mitchell would make me change my mind,” she said, flashing a quick grin.
They waited for her to leave the bedroom and close the door before they moved.
“You want to take a rain check on the making out?” Rohan asked.
“Sure.” Kiran rolled away from Rohan, his mind protesting the action. Rohan made him feel safe, and he didn’t want to lose that feeling. He sat on the edge of the bed and wondered about clothes. He didn’t think he had any.
“Ambar is right. You look as if you need some special care.” Rohan rounded the bed and sat beside him. He ran his fingers over Kiran’s back, not commenting on the scars even though he wanted to ask questions.
“What is it?” Kiran asked, absorbing the warmth from Rohan at his side.
“You have scars on your back.” He ran his finger over them, and Kiran shuddered. They didn’t hurt. It was Rohan’s touch that brought the self-awareness.
“I don’t remember the scars,” he said, trying to peer over his shoulder.
“They’re slightly raised.”
“I don’t remember.” This time a snap sounded in Kiran’s voice.
“We need to be patient. You’ll get your memory back.”
Kiran wished he had the same confidence. Once again he had the uneasy feeling he’d be better off not knowing about his past and his personal details. The thought of the past frightened him.
Rohan stood and grabbed a pair of jeans off the back of a chair in the corner of the room. He stepped into them, did up the zipper but didn’t fasten the button at the top. “I’ll grab you some of my clothes to wear. Be right back.”
Rohan strode to his bedroom, deep in though. He’d noticed the pain and anguish on Kiran’s face. The man was confused. Hell, who wouldn’t be, given the circumstances?
In his room he grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of sweats. Kiran would have to stay up here in the flat so he wouldn’t need anything dressy.
One more day to go before they moved. He couldn’t wait. The move to Middlemarch would bring new possibilities for all of them.
—
Middlemarch, Two Days Later
“I hate moving,” Ambar said, stretching her arms above her head and settling on the deck of their new residence. It was an old wood bungalow, single level with a deck out the back that overlooked an overgrown garden. Their shop was two streets away on the main Middlemarch road. “The garden needs weeding. Someone should rescue those purple flowers.”
“Pansies,” Rohan said, studying the garden. “We’ll get to it. We’ve barely arrived.”
“I’m never moving again,” Ambar said.
Kiran grinned and tugged lightly on her long black braid. “What about when you mate? I’m sure there will be males in Middlemarch who have brains enough to appreciate your beauty.” He felt as if he’d known brother and sister for years and was glad they’d had invited him to Middlemarch with them.
Rohan snorted and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Don’t lay it on too thick. My sister has brains as well as beauty.” He handed Kiran a can of beer and Ambar a glass of wine.
> Ambar took a sip of her wine before she spoke. “Yeah. I’m not stupid. You’d like me to start going out with someone to give you some alone time. You want to have wild monkey sex without worrying about me walking in on you or overhearing things an innocent virgin shouldn’t hear.”
“Ambar!”
Kiran’s lips twitched while Rohan glared at his sister.
“What? It’s true. I’m starting to feel like a third wheel the way you two make goo-goo eyes at each other all the time.”
“We do not make goo-goo eyes,” Rohan said, his eyes flashing with indignation.
Kiran hid his amusement while he listened to brother and sister bicker. There was teasing and a lot of love beneath the bickering. It brought out envy in him, not that they made him feel like an outsider. They included him, accepting him into their small family without a quibble. He wondered if they’d feel the same way once his memory returned.
“You can’t see yourselves,” Ambar retorted.
“You wait until a poor unsuspecting male asks you out. Kiran and I are going to give you a hard time,” Rohan said. “See how you like it.”
“Yep, count on it.” Kiran grinned, leaning back against a pillar and breathing deep. The scent of the country filled his lungs, the air fresh without the tinge of motor vehicles. Instead he smelled flowers, cut grass and the scent of the beef stew he’d help Ambar cook earlier. The sounds were different too. Birds and animals. Laughter. Bicycle bells and farm tractors. A man could feel content here—even one suffering from amnesia.
“We’re not sleeping together,” Rohan added.
“But you can’t keep your hands off each other,” Ambar said, wrinkling her nose. “It’s enough to make me wary about entering a room without peeking around the corner first.”
Kiran glanced from Ambar to Rohan and found the other man watching him. Their gazes caught and held and it was like an electrical charge jolting his body. Despite the temptation, they’d confined themselves to kissing and a bit of touching rather than going for full sexual intercourse. He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t think he’d had a relationship like this before. Right now he wanted to touch Rohan. Craved it. He suspected it wouldn’t be much longer before one of them broke.
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