by Adele Abbott
“Aww. Can I have breakfast, then?”
“Jack, your daughter wants breakfast.”
“The last time I looked, she was our daughter.”
“Yes, but you know how to make the muesli just how she likes it.”
“I suppose I’d better get it for her, or you’ll give her those awful strawberry toffee pop things.”
“They’re Strawberrycandy Pops, and I wouldn’t say no if you offered to bring me a bowl of them.”
“That’s not happening. We’ll all have breakfast together at the kitchen table, like a proper family. Come on, Florence, let’s go and get our healthy breakfasts.”
When I eventually managed to drag myself downstairs, Buddy started to circle my legs.
“Have you fed the dog, Florence?” I already knew the answer because his empty bowl was still on the worktop.
“His food smells horrible, Mummy.”
“We’ve already talked about this. Buddy is your dog, so you have to feed him. You know where the pouches are.”
“But my breakfast will go cold.”
“Muesli doesn’t go cold. If you don’t start feeding your dog, we’ll have to give him away.”
“No!” She jumped off the stool. “Please don’t give Buddy away.”
“Okay, but from now on you have to promise to feed him without me having to remind you.”
“I promise.” She emptied the foul-smelling gloop into his bowl, and then began to go through our dance routine.
“What about the rest of your muesli, Florence?” Jack said.
“I’m full, Daddy, and I have to practise the dance.”
Jack looked to me to back him up, but I couldn’t in good conscience encourage her to eat that revolting stuff.
Twenty minutes before we were due to set off for the village hall, Donna and Wendy came to the door.
“I hope you don’t mind us coming over, Jill, but this one has been driving me mad all morning, asking how long it is until dance class.”
“Of course not. Come in. Florence is out in the garden, looking at her caterpillars. Why don’t you go and join her, Wendy?”
“Okay, Mrs Maxwell.”
Whenever one of the kids called me that, I felt a thousand years old.
“Would you like a cup of tea, Donna?” I led the way into the kitchen.
“Do we have time?”
“There’s always time for a cuppa, and Jack was just about to make one, weren’t you, darling?”
“Apparently. Good morning, Donna.”
“Morning, Jack. Are you coming to the competition?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He looked at me and grinned.
“Hold on. I thought you were going golfing?”
“I was, but Florence said she’d like me to be there to watch her.”
“You can’t be there.”
“Too late. I’ve promised her now.”
Oh bum! It was bad enough having to do the dance, but knowing Jack was watching would make it ten times worse.
Wendy and Florence came running inside.
“Mummy!” Wendy whooped. “Florence has got two red caterpillars, and they both have yellow spots.”
“How unusual.”
“Look!” Florence held out her bucket.
“Wow! They really are colourful, aren’t they?” Donna said. “Where did you find those?”
“In the garden. Archie was in the back, and Mummy found Angie in the front.”
“Archie and Angie? Those are nice names.”
“Why don’t we have any red caterpillars with yellow spots in our garden, Mummy?” Wendy said.
“Maybe we do. You’ll just have to look for them.” Donna took the drink from me. “Thanks, Jill. Are you looking forward to the competition?”
“Oh yeah. I’ve been counting the minutes.”
“I certainly have.” Jack laughed.
“I’ll warn you now, Jack, if I see you videoing me, I will smash your phone into a million pieces.”
“Okay, you two!” Jack shouted to the girls who were still on caterpillar duty. “It’s time to go to dance class.”
“Yay!” Florence came rushing inside with Wendy hot on her heels.
I waited until we were halfway between the house and the village hall before making my move.
“I’ve left my purse behind. I’ll just nip back and get it.”
“You never forget your purse.” Jack eyed me, suspiciously.
“Well I have. I’ll only be a couple of minutes.”
“You’d better not miss the competition. Florence will never forgive you.”
“I won’t. You lot go ahead. I’ll be there before you know it.”
I ran back to the old watermill, rushed inside, grabbed Buddy, and then set off down the village.
“Where are we going?” Buddy yawned. He’d been fast asleep when I picked him up.
“I have a nice little surprise for you.”
“Will I like it?”
“Yeah, I’m sure you will.”
“Hang on. What are we doing here? I’m not going back to this loser.”
“It’s only for a few hours, I promise.” I knocked on the door.
“I didn’t think you were coming.” Stewart certainly scrubbed up nicely in his Sunday best. “My mother will be here any minute.”
“I’m here now, aren’t I? Where’s the cash?”
“We said twenty pounds, didn’t we?” He held out a twenty-pound note.
“Fifty or I take him home.”
“That’s daylight robbery.”
“Take it or leave it.”
“Okay, okay.” He took another two banknotes out of his pocket. “Here you are.”
“Thank you.” I handed Buddy to him. “Don’t forget what we agreed. I’ve left the gate to the back garden on the latch, so make sure you have him back there before midday.”
“No worries. My mother never stays more than an hour.”
“Okay. I have to go.”
Jack shot me a look as I rushed into the village hall.
“Where have you been?”
“To get my purse, I told you.”
“Don’t give me that. I know you, Jill. You’re up to something.”
“Moi?”
“At least you came back. I thought you’d done a runner, so you didn’t have to do the dance.”
“Were you going to stand in for me?”
“I couldn’t have done any worse.”
“You’re cruising for a bruising, buddy. Where are the girls?”
“Over there. They’re making the draw to determine the order.”
“I hope we’re on first, so I can get this nightmare over with.”
Just then, Florence and Wendy came running over. Donna was trailing behind them.
“Mummy and me are on fifth,” Wendy said.
“We’re number eleven.” Florence handed me a slip of paper with number eleven printed on it.
“How many are taking part?”
“There are twelve couples altogether,” Donna said. “You’re second from last.”
And so, the torture began.
As I watched the mother and daughter combos perform, it quickly became apparent that the mothers fell into three categories: There were those, like me, who clearly had no experience or aptitude for dancing.
Yes, I know I said I could have been a ballerina, but I say a lot of stuff. Surely, you’ve worked that out by now.
In the second category, were those mothers who clearly had some background in dancing—maybe they’d attended dance classes when they were kids—but who were now rusty, out of shape, or both.
And then there were those who looked like they worked out five times a day, went to dance class twice a week, and probably auditioned for stage musicals every weekend.
“It’s Wendy’s turn,” Florence said.
Donna and Wendy’s performance was every bit as impressive as the one I’d seen on the video.
Until.
With only
a few seconds left in their routine, Wendy tripped. Although she recovered quickly, she was inconsolable when the music finished. Florence, being the good friend she was, went over to give her a hug.
It was our turn now, and my nerves were beginning to jangle. It was then that I noticed Jack take his phone out of his pocket.
“I said no videos.”
“I promised Florence I’d record it.”
Oh bum! I could hardly deny Florence the opportunity to see herself in action, but the thought of other people seeing me make a fool of myself was scary. I had no doubt whatsoever that the video would find its way to Kathy, and she’d never let me live it down. And what if it ended up on YouTube? It didn’t bear thinking about.
“Mummy, it’s our turn.” Florence grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the chair.
It was decision time.
I could have ensured victory by using magic, but what kind of example would that be to set for my daughter? The only honourable thing to do was to do my best and live with the embarrassment of having everyone see me make a fool of myself.
***
We left the village hall with Donna and Wendy who had recovered from her earlier upset.
“Where shall I put this, Mummy?” Florence held the tiny cup aloft.
“I think you should keep it in your bedroom.”
“I’m disappointed for Wendy,” Donna said. “But if we couldn’t win, I’m glad you and Florence did.”
“Thanks, Donna.”
“You deserved it. Neither of you put a foot wrong. You must have put in hours of practice.”
“We did, trust me.”
Jack coughed and said something that sounded like cheat under his breath, but I ignored him.
Once we reached the old watermill, we said our goodbyes.
“Jill, what time shall I bring Wendy over tomorrow?”
“We have to be there at two, so let’s say one-thirty.”
“Okay. We’ll see you then.”
Florence went running upstairs, to find a spot to keep her little trophy. Meanwhile, Jack was giving me the look.
“What?”
“I don’t believe you just did that, Jill.”
“Did what?”
“You know what. You cheated.”
“What do you mean? We won fair and square.”
“With the help of magic.”
“Nonsense. What makes you think I used magic?”
“You didn’t put a foot wrong.”
“That’s because I put in so much practice.”
“I saw you do it. I saw you cast the spell.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s nothing to see.”
“Yes, there is. There’s this certain look you have when you’re casting a spell. It only lasts for a split second, but I can recognise it.”
“Rubbish.”
“Look me in the eye and deny you used magic to win.”
“Okay, I admit it, but it was your fault.”
“My fault? How was it my fault?”
“Because you were recording the dance. I didn’t want millions of people to see me make a fool of myself. And, besides, I didn’t use magic on Florence, so she won fair and square.”
“I still think it was a bad message to send her.”
“Anyway, I never would have done it if it had meant that we took the trophy away from Donna and Wendy, but they’d already blown their chances. Do you forgive me?”
“I suppose so.”
Florence came running down the stairs and then stopped dead in her tracks.
“Where’s Buddy?”
“Yeah, where is he?” Jack went through to the lounge. “He’s not in here.”
“Maybe he’s hiding upstairs.” I suggested.
Florence ran back upstairs, but came down a few minutes later, empty handed. “He isn’t up there. Did you give him away, Mummy?” Her bottom lip started to tremble. “I said I would feed him.”
“Of course I didn’t. I would never do that, darling.” I caught Jack giving me an accusing look. “I didn’t, honestly. He must be out in the garden.”
But he wasn’t.
“Did you find him, Mummy?” Florence said when I walked back into the kitchen.
“No, but don’t worry. He can’t be far away. You stay here with Daddy and I’ll go and find him.”
“I want to come!” Florence yelled.
“No, you stay here with Daddy. I’ll find him. I promise.”
I headed out of the door before Jack could ask any awkward questions, and rushed down to Stewart’s house. If anything had happened to Buddy, I would kill that man. Slowly and very painfully.
Moments after I’d hammered on his door, Stewart made an appearance, looking very sheepish.
“Where’s Buddy? Why didn’t you put him back in our garden, as agreed?”
“There’s been a slight problem.”
“If anything’s happened to—”
“He’s fine, honestly.”
“Then why isn’t he in our garden?”
“My mother is still here. I didn’t expect her to stay so long.”
“Stewart! Who is it?” The voice came from behind him, and moments later, a large woman appeared at his side. “Your tea is going cold. Who’s this?”
“This? This is—err—”
“I’m Molly, the dogwalker. I’ve come to take Buddy on his daily walk, haven’t I, Stewart?”
“Err, that’s right, Mum.”
“I can’t believe you have a dog walker, Stewart.” She shook her head. “When did you become so lazy?”
“I’ll just go and get Buddy for you, Ji—err—Molly.”
His mother eyed me up and down. “Is this really your job? Dog walking?”
“Yeah.”
“And you can make a living doing this?”
“Just about.”
Stewart returned with Buddy in his arms. “There you go, Molly.”
“Thanks. Come on, Buddy, let’s get your exercise.”
“Am I glad to see you,” Buddy said, as we made our way back to the old watermill.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“You lot may be dysfunctional, but you’re better than that loser.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You found him, Mummy!” Florence shouted when I walked through the door.
“I told you I would. Why don’t you play ball with him in the garden?”
Once Florence and Buddy were out of earshot, Jack turned to me. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me, Jill?”
Chapter 13
It was Sunday morning, and Florence was bouncing off the walls with excitement because we were going to visit Ursula, queen of the unicorns, later today.
“How much longer is it now, Mummy?” she asked for the fifth time in the last hour.
“It’s ages yet. I’ve already told you that we don’t go until this afternoon. Why don’t you go and play with Archie and Angie?”
“But we might be late for the queen.”
“We won’t, I promise. We’ll set off in plenty of time. Now, go and check that the caterpillars are alright.”
“Okay.” She rushed out into the garden.
“This is going to be a very long morning.” I sighed.
“Hmm.” Jack was looking all around the kitchen, clearly distracted by something.
“What are you looking for?”
“I was just checking that you hadn’t sold the dog again.”
“You’re hilarious. And I didn’t sell him; I just rented him out for a few hours.”
“How could you possibly think that was okay?”
“If Stewart had brought him back on time, you’d have been none the wiser.”
“But he didn’t, and I am.”
“How about I give you half the money? Will that shut you up?”
“I don’t want your blood money.”
“How is it blood money? No one died.”
“I think you s
hould spend it on Florence. Buddy is her dog, after all.”
“I—err—I was going to do that anyway.”
“Of course you were.”
“I was. That was the whole point of doing it.”
“Great. What will you buy her?”
“I don’t know. She’s quite partial to custard creams.”
“Jill!”
“Only joking. Sheesh, whatever happened to your sense of humour?”
Even though Florence was obsessed with caterpillars, they didn’t hold her attention for very long. She was now running around the lounge, holding a plastic cup on her head.
“I’m a unicorn. I’m a unicorn!”
“I wonder if Robbie would fancy a game of golf,” Jack said.
“Forget it. If I have to cope with Little Miss Unicorn, then so do you.”
“How long is it now, Mummy?”
“Five minutes less than the last time you asked. We won’t be leaving until after we’ve had our lunch.”
“Can we have it now?”
“No, we can’t. It’s only eleven o’clock.”
“The queen might not mind if we get there early.”
“She won’t be there now. She told me she had to go shopping this morning.”
“We could go shopping with her.”
“No, we can’t. You’ll just have to wait until this afternoon. Why don’t you go and play with your dolls’ house?”
“I can’t because I’m a unicorn.” She began to lap the room again.
An hour later, and I could stand no more of it.
“Jack, can I have a word?” I gestured to him to follow me into the hall.
“What’s up?”
“I have to nip out.”
“Oh no you don’t. You vetoed my golfing.”
“This is different. I’m going to follow up my lead on the compass stone.”
“Oh. That’s different. Are you going to the Rainbow Zone?”
“Hopefully, but I have to find out where it is first. I’m going to start at the queen’s palace and take it from there.”
***
After a brief detour to Bakewell to purchase half a dozen Bakewell puddings, I magicked myself to the Dark Woods. After shrinking myself to fairy size, I headed north towards Rainbow Valley.
The fairy manning the checkpoint wasn’t the one I’d encountered on my previous visit, several years earlier, but she had clearly attended the same charm school.
