by Nancy Krulik
TO JEFF AND AMY, WHO OFTEN LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M FROM OUTER SPACE, BUT LOVE ME ANYWAY. XOXO
—NK
FOR PIPO—LT
GROSSET & DUNLAP
Penguin Young Readers Group
An Imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
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Text copyright © 2017 by Nancy Krulik. Illustrations copyright © 2017 by Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved. Published by Grosset & Dunlap, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014. GROSSET & DUNLAP is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC. Manufactured in China.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 9780448490120 (paperback)
ISBN 9780448490137 (library binding)
ISBN 9781524785239 (ebook)
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CONTENTS
Dedication
Copyright
Title Page
Chapter 1: Crash!
Chapter 2: Home Sweet Home
Chapter 3: Earth Cats Don’t Go To School
Chapter 4: Dog Bite
Chapter 5: Uh-Oh! Where Did the Ship Go?
Chapter 6: Fairies Don’t Have Tails
Chapter 7: Kerplop!
Chapter 8: Tv Time
Chapter 9: The Champ!
Chapter 10: Have I Got a Cat for You!
Chapter 11: Earth Cats Do Not Talk
Chapter 12: I Can’t Be the Only One
1
CRASH!
Ow! That hurt!” Zeke Zander rubbed his head. He straightened his bent antenna.
“Is everyone okay?” Zeke’s mom asked.
“I think so,” Zeke’s dad said. “That was a hard landing.”
“What happened?” Zeke asked.
“We lost power,” Zeus, the spaceship commander, explained. “We got pulled through space. Then we crashed here.”
“Where’s here?” Zeke asked.
Zeus scratched behind his ear with his sharp claws. “I’m not sure,” he purred. “But it’s not Planet Z.”
“Do you think we can breathe out there?” Zeke’s dad wondered.
“Only one way to find out,” Zeus said. “You go out and try.”
“Why m . . . m . . . me?” Zeke’s dad asked the cat. “You’re the leader.”
“I can’t go out there,” Zeus said. “What if I get hurt? I’m the smart one. We need me.”
Zeke frowned. There was no arguing with Zeus when he said things like that. His dad was going to have to be the one to go.
Zeke’s dad forced the door of the spaceship open.
Zeke ran his fingers nervously up and down his antenna. He was worried.
“It’s fine,” Zeke’s dad called back finally. “I can breathe.”
Phew! That meant this planet had oxygen in its air. Just like on Planet Z.
Slowly the rest of the Zander family crawled out of the ship.
Zeke looked down. Something furry and green was growing there. Strange.
Zeke looked up. The sky was lit by a bright full moon. Even stranger.
“What kind of planet has only one moon?” Zeke asked. “Where are the other five?”
Zeus licked his paws. “Earth has only one moon.” He looked around. “Yep. This looks like the pictures I studied in college. We have landed on Earth.”
Zeus was the only Zander who had gone to Intergalactic College. That was why he was in charge.
Just then something cold and wet began to fall.
“What is this?” Zeke’s mother asked. She used her arms to shield her head.
Zeus sniffed at the cold wet stuff.
“It’s called water,” Zeus said. He shook his fur. “I don’t like it.”
“Let’s get back in the spaceship,” Zeke’s dad said.
Zeus shook his head. “We don’t know how badly the ship was damaged when we crashed. It could blow up at any minute. We are safer out here for now.”
The water was coming down harder. It felt slippery on Zeke’s skin.
“What’s that?” Zeke’s dad asked. He pointed to a big wooden thing nearby.
“An Earth house,” Zeus purred.
A house? Zeke couldn’t believe it. It didn’t look anything like any house he had ever seen on Planet Z.
That house wasn’t protected by a giant glass meteor shield. What would happen if a space rock hit it?
And that house didn’t have a floating garage above its roof, either. Zeke wondered where earthlings parked their spaceships.
“That house could be a good place to stay while we are here,” Zeus suggested.
“Won’t the earthlings in there mind?” Zeke’s mother asked. “Are earthlings good sharers?”
“Not the best,” Zeus told her. “But the house looks empty.”
“How can you tell?” Zeke’s dad asked him.
“That FOR RENT sign,” Zeus said, pointing with his paw. “The owners are looking for someone else to move in.”
“Someone like us,” Zeke’s mom said.
“Exactly,” Zeus answered.
“How long do we have to live in that thing?” Zeke asked.
“Until the spaceship is fixed,” Zeus told him.
Zeke’s mom smiled. “Don’t worry,” she said. “It will feel like home in no time.”
Zeke scratched the spot where the furry green stuff touched his leg.
He wiped cold wet stuff from his nose.
He looked up at the one moon in the sky.
Feel like home? Zeke didn’t think so.
2
HOME SWEET HOME
Creeeeeak.
Zeke’s mom pushed open the wooden door.
Slowly the Zanders followed Zeus inside.
“Hello?” Zeke’s dad called out.
The Zanders waited for someone to answer. No one did.
“The house is empty,” Zeke’s mom said. “You were right, Zeus.”
“I’m always right,” Zeus purred.
“Aaaaahhhhh!’’ Zeke shouted suddenly.
“What?” Zeus asked.
“You were wrong,” Zeke told him. “There is an earthling here. She’s crawling on my neck!”
He swatted her to the floor.
Zeke’s dad looked down.
“Earthlings have eight legs?” he asked Zeus.
Zeus shook his head. “That’s not an earthling. That’s an Earth spider.”
“An Earth what?” Zeke asked him.
“Spider,” Zeus repeated. “A creature that makes webs and catches bugs.”
Zeke had no idea what webs or bugs were. He just knew the spider was creepy.
“I’m not sharing my house with that,” Zeke said.
“Actually, it’s her house,” Zeke’s dad said. “She was here first.”
“I think she’ll let us stay,” Zeke’s mom said. “She seems friendly.”
The spider wasn’t Zeke’s idea of a friend.
“This house will do just fine,” Zeus said.
Zeke didn’t think so. The tables and chairs were covered with a film of dirt.
And the tiny panes of glass barely let in any light. Not that one moon gave o
ff much light.
“Make yourselves at home.” Zeus stretched out on the cushiony couch. “We are going to be here awhile.”
That was a scary thought.
Zeke missed the pretty moons above Planet Z.
And that spider was creepy. It all made Zeke want to disappear.
Which he did. With a wiggle of his right antenna.
“Zeke Zander, you reappear right now,” his mom scolded.
Zeke wiggled his left antenna. He reappeared.
“You can’t go invisible every time you don’t like something,” his dad said. “You don’t see us doing that, do you?”
“Maybe the house will look nicer when the suns come up,” Zeke’s mom said.
“Sun,” Zeus corrected her. “Earth has only one.”
“Sun,” Zeke’s mom repeated. “Either way, we should get some sleep.”
“Come on, son,” Zeke’s dad said. “Find a place to rest your head.”
Zeke wasn’t so sure he was going to be able to sleep. But he figured he should try anyway. So he flipped over and stood on his head.
“That’s a good zeebop,” his mom said. “Now shut your eyes.”
Zeke did as he was told.
“All your eyes,” his mom said.
Rats! Zeke had wanted to keep his eye teeth open so he could be on the lookout for that spider.
“Yes, Mom.” Zeke shut his lips tight. Now he couldn’t see a thing.
“Don’t worry,” his mom said. “Things will look better in the morning.”
Zeke figured that was true. They sure couldn’t get any worse.
3
EARTH CATS DON’T GO TO SCHOOL
Actually, things could get worse.
“Why do I have to go to Earth school?” Zeke asked Zeus the next morning.
“We have to act like earthlings,” Zeus explained. “If we don’t, the earthlings will be able to tell that we are not from here.”
“So what?” Zeke asked.
“They will capture us and put us in cages,” Zeus answered.
“Why would they do that?” Zeke asked.
“To study us,” Zeus explained. “They will treat us like we treat obi-dons.”
Zeke had once seen obi-dons from Planet O. They were in a cage at the Planet Z zoo. They looked sad.
Zeke didn’t blame them. Who would want to live in a cage? Just the thought of it made Zeke want to disappear again.
Zeke didn’t want to live in a zoo. But he didn’t want to go to an Earth school, either.
“I won’t know anyone,” Zeke said. “I will be the new zeebop.”
“You can’t call yourself a zeebop,” Zeus reminded Zeke. “You have to pretend to be an earthling.”
“Why don’t you go to school?” Zeke asked Zeus. “You’re the one who knows all about Earth.”
“Earth cats don’t go to school,” Zeus explained.
“What do Earth cats do?” Zeke asked.
“Not much,” Zeus said. “They lie around licking their paws.”
“I could do that,” Zeke said. He licked his hand.
Zeus shook his head. “You are going to school,” he purred.
“What are you going to do while I’m at school?” Zeke asked his family.
“Work on the spaceship,” his mom said.
“How fast can you fix it?” Zeke asked.
“I’m not sure,” Zeus answered. “It won’t be easy to find the right metals.”
“Speaking of finding things,” Zeke’s mom said, “look what I found in the closet. Right next to some pants and sweaters.”
“What is that?” Zeke asked.
“A cap,” Zeus said. “Earth kids put them on their heads.”
“Why?” Zeke asked him.
“To cover their fur,” Zeus said.
“If Earth kids wear caps, Zeke will, too.” Zeke’s mom plopped the cap on his head.
Zeke stared at himself in the piece of glass that hung on the wall.
“I look like a geek,” he groaned.
“Lower your antennae,” Zeus told him. “Earth kids don’t have antennae.”
Zeke pulled his antennae into his head. He looked back into the piece of glass.
“The kids are going to call me Zeke the Geek,” he moaned.
“As long as they think you’re an Earth geek,” Zeus purred. “That’s all that matters.”
4
DOG BITE
Aren’t you going to eat your hot dog?”
Zeke looked at the kid sitting next to him at the school lunch table. He was pretty sure his name was Eddie.
“Am I going to eat my what?” Zeke asked Eddie.
“Your hot dog,” Eddie repeated. He pointed at Zeke’s lunch tray.
Zeke was confused. The dogs on Planet Z had fur and tails and fangs. This hot dog didn’t have any of those.
Still, no matter what kind of dog it was, Zeke wasn’t taking a bite of it. Dogs could bite back.
“I don’t blame you for not eating it,” said Amelia, a girl in Zeke’s class. “Cafeteria hot dogs are the worst.”
Amelia smiled at Zeke.
So Zeke smiled back at Amelia. He didn’t know why he was smiling. He was just trying to act like an Earth kid.
Zeke looked around the cafeteria. He wanted to see what other kinds of things earthlings did.
All around him, kids were eating. And laughing. And running around.
But mostly, they were shouting.
Earth kids sure were loud.
“Aren’t you going to at least have a drink?” Amelia asked Zeke.
A drink. That sounded like a good idea. He was kind of thirsty. But there wasn’t any cold zoda on the tray.
Hmmm . . . That white liquid stuff in the carton looked like it could be an Earth drink.
Zeke picked up the red-and-white tube on his tray. The tube looked like a ztraw from Planet Z. So Zeke did what he always did with ztraws. He stuck it in his ear.
Zzlurp! In one quick gulp, Zeke slurped the whole carton of white stuff into his head.
“Whoa!” Eddie exclaimed. “How did you do that?”
“It must be a magic trick!” Amelia said. “But it sure looked like you drank that milk through your ear.”
Zeke was about to say that was exactly what he had done. But before he could, a few of the kids started hitting their hands together.
The hitting made a strange cracking noise. It sounded like it might hurt.
“Why are you hitting yourselves?” Zeke asked the kids.
The kids all started laughing. That made Zeke laugh. Although he wasn’t sure why.
Eddie patted Zeke on the back and smiled. “You’re going to fit in here just fine,” Eddie told him.
5
UH-OH! WHERE DID THE SHIP GO?
Missing? What do you mean the spaceship is missing?” Zeke shouted at his parents when he got home from school.
He couldn’t believe his ears. And not because they were filled with milk. It was because he had just heard terrible news!
“The spaceship was in the yard when we went off to look for metal,” his dad explained.
“When we got back, it was gone,” his mom added. “But don’t worry. Zeus is looking for it. He will figure everything out.”
Just then, Zeus leaped in through the window. “Earth is one strange place,” he mewed.
Zeke rolled his eyes. You’re telling me, he thought.
“I tried having a conversation with the cat next door,” Zeus continued. “She walked away. What kind of cat could resist my charms?”
Zeke didn’t know. He also didn’t care.
“What about the spaceship?” he asked Zeus.
“Oh, that,” Zeus said. He licked his paws slowly. “I found it.”
Zeke
looked out the window. He didn’t see the ship anywhere.
“Where is it?” he asked.
“I said I found it,” Zeus answered. “I didn’t say I got it back.”
“Huh?” Zeke asked.
“It was taken by a junkman,” Zeus explained. “He thought it was a hunk of junk.”
“Junk?” Zeke’s dad repeated. “But that’s a state-of-the-art spaceship.”
“Earthlings don’t always know art when they see it,” Zeus replied.
“How do we get it back?” Zeke’s mom asked.
“We’ll have to buy it,” Zeus said. “That’s what junkmen do. They sell junk.”
Zeke reached in his pocket. “I have five zoopers,” he said. “Is that enough?”
Zeus shook his head. “We have to use Earth money. Or gold. Gold is worth a lot here.”
“Where do we get that?” Zeke asked him.
Zeus licked his paw. “I have to think about it,” he mewed. “Right after I take my nap.”
“Nap?” Zeke shouted. “How can you sleep at a time like this?”
But Zeus didn’t answer. The fearless leader was already snoring.
6
FAIRIES DON’T HAVE TAILS
Class, we are in a library,” said Mr. Zimmermoon, Zeke’s teacher. “Please be quiet.”
It was only Zeke’s second day at Earth school. But already he had learned a lot.
Like how to make a paper airplane and throw it across the room.
And how to spit paper through a ztraw and hit someone in the back of the head.
And how to make Earth kids laugh by wiggling your fingers under their armpits.
He just hadn’t learned why Earth kids liked doing any of those things.
