The sight of Blake’s silver SUV parked in the driveway, blocking the parking spot for the main house, brought her to a swift halt.
What the hell is he doing here?
The minute she opened the door and stepped into her tiny suite Shelby was overwhelmed by Blake’s presence—it was like he took up all the space. As the door clicked shut, he turned towards her, leaving her no time to get her bearings; his irritation was plain on his face.
“Mommy!” Kevin, her youngest son, launched himself off the futon and directly into her arms, almost knocking her backwards.
“It’s good to see you, honey,” she said softly, still reeling at Blake’s presence. As she bent to plant a kiss on Kevin’s head, she breathed in his scent, trying to steady herself. “I’ve missed you all day. Did you have fun at Nana’s?” She squeezed him hard, returning his bear hug.
Speaking of Nana, where was her mother? Why on earth would her mother think it was okay to leave Blake alone in her house? Anger rose inside Shelby, pushing out the anxiety.
This was her home. Her mother had no right to leave Blake here.
Then her eyes landed on Blake, and the anger began to boil like molten lava, ready to erupt. He hadn’t even greeted her; he just stood there like he owned the place. She fought her reaction hard. She didn’t want to fight with him—especially not in front of the boys. Their marriage might be over, but they were still parents together.
Blake’s own impatient nature saved her from saying anything she would regret later.
“That’s enough, Kevin. Go and get your stuff. Now that your mother has finally graced us with her presence, we can get out of here.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Kevin said quickly. He looked up at his mom for a split second, his eyes big and round in his pale face, before he disappeared quietly into the bedroom he shared with his older brother, Bryan.
Shelby’s heart constricted, as she watched him go. He was too little to have to deal with his parents’ separation.
“You too, Bryan,” Blake ordered.
Bryan, who had been too absorbed in his tablet to acknowledge her arrival, sighed, and then without argument followed his little brother into the bedroom. Shelby’s gut clenched in frustration—Bryan would have lipped back at her for sure.
Blake had always had more control over their kids.
Shelby’s mind flailed around trying to figure out what to say. It should be easy. They had been married for over a decade—since just after high school. But nothing came to mind. They may still be married, but it had been a long time since they had been close. Blake had seen to that.
“What are you doing here?” she asked finally, trying to keep her voice neutral. Why hadn’t he just taken the boys and run?
“Taking care of your responsibilities.”
His words stole her breath, making it impossible to think. She knew the best thing to do was just keep quiet and let it go. But she couldn’t seem to stop her mouth. She needed to start standing her ground, and she was choosing now.
“I take care of my responsibilities.”
“Is that right?” Blake asked eyebrows raised. “I think you need to get your head straight. You’re supposed to be their mother.”
His words hit her like a punch to the solar plexus. “I’m a good mother.”
“You’re delusional. Look around you. You live in a cave.” He swept his arm out to indicate the space around them. “The boys don’t even have their own rooms. You sleep in the living room, for God’s sake. And how are you financing this little castle of yours? Huh? With my money?”
“I have a job.”
“Right,” he scoffed. “What you have is not a job.” He waved his arm again, indicating a pile of envelopes on the table. “Looks like your so-called job isn’t really cutting it. When are they going to turn the power off?”
Indignation rose like bile in her throat. “I pay my bills,” she said defensively. She didn’t owe him an explanation, but she couldn’t help herself. “I just haven’t filed that stuff.”
Blake stared hard; his eyes burrowing through her, like he could see inside her, see all the ways she didn’t measure up. “You could at least clean up a bit. Try to show some pride.”
“I just got home.”
“That’s my whole point. You need to examine your priorities.”
“My priorities are none—” She cut her words off as Kevin and Bryan reappeared with their backpacks. She would not fight with their dad in front of them—this was between Blake and her.
Fighting tears, she spread her arms out to them. Clutching his teddy, Kevin wrapped his arms around her, and she enfolded him into a bear hug. Bryan just headed to the door, not even making eye contact with her. He had been angry with her ever since she had moved them out of the family home and into this basement suite; today was no different.
Shelby clutched Kevin to her, like he could give her the strength she needed to deal with Blake’s presence. Leaving him hadn’t been an easy decision. He was her first boyfriend. And dealing with his hostility every time they did the kid swap wasn’t making it any easier. Even if she couldn’t really blame him.
“Let’s go, Kevin,” Blake directed.
Kevin held tighter to Shelby, and her heart broke a little. Shelby knew he would have fun at his dad’s once he got there, but it didn’t make it any easier to watch him leave.
She swiped a tear from her eye and stood up. The truth was that she didn’t want the boys to go because she didn’t want to be alone. Facing the challenges of her new single life was much easier when they were around.
Once the boys were outside and out of earshot, Blake turned to face her; his face grim. “You need to think long and hard about what you really want and what’s best for the boys.”
Don’t take the bait; just let him go.
It took everything she had not to answer back. Blake always knew exactly where it would hurt the most. It had been a long time since things had been good between them, and it looked like that wasn’t going to change any time soon.
Even after he was gone, Shelby could still feel him there, judging her. She opened a window to let some fresh air in and to cleanse the heavy scent of his cologne from the air. Then, exhausted, she dropped onto her futon and kicked off her shoes. What she really wanted was a bath. She wanted to slip into the hot, steamy, fragrant water until her chin was just at the surface. She needed to wash away all the doubts that Blake’s presence had brought to the surface and loosen all the muscles bunching in her neck.
But her “cave” didn’t have a bathtub. So instead, without bothering to make the futon down into a bed, she pulled her pillow and her father’s old quilt from the bin, where she stored them during the day, lay her head down, and pulled the quilt over her head.
The quilt felt like a warm hug. It was the only thing she had left of her dad. Right now, she missed him with an intensity that left her heart feeling charred. When he died, it had felt like she had lost her whole world, and tonight, it felt like she was right back there.
Her dad had always made her feel safe and, more importantly, accepted. She had known without a doubt that no matter how bad something was, she could confide in her dad, and he wouldn’t judge. He had been her rock. She could use that support right now.
Her mother hadn’t stepped in to fill the gap for her teenage daughter. Shelby had never been close to her mother, and her dad’s death hadn’t changed that. If anything, it had brought her mother and her sister, Meghan, closer, squeezing Shelby out.
Sometimes the memory of her father’s love and encouragement was enough to help her keep going; sometimes it was enough to counteract the doubting of her mother and her sister—but not today. Today, Shelby had to admit that maybe there was more truth to the things her mother said than she liked to believe. Maybe she was ruining her life; maybe she should get back together with Blake and repair her marriage. They had kids together; you couldn’t just throw that away.
Pulling the quilt tighter around her, She
lby squeezed her eyes shut, ready to be done with this awful day. But her mind was unruly and not ready to rest, and it immediately turned to Ian. Overwhelmed with exhaustion and needing something pleasant to focus on, she didn’t fight it. Instead, she lay on her futon, wrapped in her father’s quilt, while her mind drifted to thoughts of Ian, and the things he might do to her, if they were alone in the forest.
She let the fantasy come. What harm was there? She wasn’t ever going to see him again. And a girl could use a little realism in her dreams.
CHAPTER 4
Shelby fumbled for her cell phone; its incessant ringing yanking her awake.
“Hello?”
“Shelby?” a deep, masculine voice said.
She sat bolt upright; the sleep cobwebs instantly swept away. She knew that voice. In fact, she had been dreaming about the body belonging to that voice when the phone had woken her. She had to still be dreaming—there was no way Ian McLean was calling her.
Always check the call display!
Normally, she never answered without checking the number. If she had checked the number, she wouldn’t be struggling to form coherent, intelligent words.
Who was she kidding? She would be staring at the call display, frozen, and not knowing what to do while the call went to voicemail.
“Hello?” Ian’s voice was every bit as deep and manly as she remembered it, stirring up sensations in her core that weren’t helping her concentration one bit.
“Um, hi, this is she.” Shelby cringed inwardly, dropping her forehead into her hand. Why couldn’t she say something clever?
“Morning, Shelby. It’s Ian McLean.”
Oh God, she groaned inwardly. It really was him. Ian McLean—stuff of romantic fantasies—really was calling her.
“Ian, from yesterday’s course...”
And she was making an idiot of herself.
Why couldn’t she just answer the phone like a regular, non-lunatic person?
“Yes. Yes, I know. Hi, Ian,” she finally managed, her eyes squeezed tight to try and contain herself. Her cheeks felt so hot they must resemble beets. Ian rattled her for some reason, and it wasn’t just the fact that he looked like he had walked off the cover of a romance novel.
What could he Ian possibly be calling about? Her brain could not catch up with the situation. It didn’t help that he had caught her still in bed—not that he knew that. But she did. She was certain he wouldn’t understand lazing around in bed. He had probably already climbed a mountain and rescued someone this morning.
She knew she was being ridiculous. He was just a regular person—steaming hot—but still just a regular person. It wasn’t like he saved people every day—probably just on special occasions and, of course, in every single one of her fantasies.
She groaned again. This was too much. A girl could not talk to her living fantasy before she had a chance to brush her teeth.
“I’m calling about your purse.”
“My purse?”
“Yes, you left it yesterday.”
“Right... My purse,” she said slowly, trying to stall while her mind scrambled to explain how she hadn’t noticed her purse was missing. Apparently, the mental chaos of being late and then finding Blake in her home had really thrown her.
“Yes. That thing women keep all their secret weapons in.”
Under any other circumstances she would have laughed, but she was too mortified
“Oh, great. I thought I’d left it on the bus,” she lied. “I was worried I’d never see it again, and you know how much of a pain it is to cancel all those cards and get new ones...” Her last words faded into a whisper, as she realized she was babbling. “I can come by the office today and pick it up. I just need the address.” She closed her eyes and willed herself to just stop talking.
“No need. I’ve got it.”
“Oh.” She could feel her cheeks heating up again.
“I planned to get it back to you last night,” he continued. “But all I got was voicemail. You’re a busy lady.”
Her mind went into another wild loop. How was it possible he couldn’t get a hold of her last night? She didn’t remember ignoring any phone calls. She pulled her phone away from her ear for a moment—there were three missed calls from Ian.
“But, since that didn’t happen, how about we meet for coffee and make the exchange?” Ian said nonchalantly, inadvertently sending Shelby’s mind spinning in a whole other direction.
Meet him for coffee?
She couldn’t possibly meet him for coffee. She couldn’t even speak coherently on the phone. What would she say to him face-to-face? What crazy embarrassing thing would she do, if they were one-on-one?
“I don’t drink coffee,” Shelby squeaked, closing her eyes tightly. Could she just once say something intelligent when she spoke to him?
He chuckled. “How about tea? Do you drink tea?”
She let her breath out with a groan. He was so smooth, and she was in serious danger of forgetting all the reasons why she had sworn off men.
“Yes, I drink tea. But...” She tried to think of a good excuse not to meet him. She couldn’t face him today. He was so delicious, and she was such a disaster. “You’re probably busy. You could just leave it at the office.”
“It’s no trouble. Can you squeeze me in at 10:30?”
With a jolt, it hit Shelby that Ian McLean was asking her out—not a date, but still. A goofy grin slid across her face. Maybe her life didn’t suck quite as much as she had thought when she went to bed last night.
Maybe there was hope for her.
“I’ll have to check my schedule. I’m pretty important, as you know,” she quipped. It didn’t matter that her life was a wreck. She would be crazy not to meet up with him. It was just tea—it couldn’t hurt, could it?
And if she was meeting her living fantasy, why not have some fun? It wasn’t like this meeting was going to go anywhere—no matter how badly the naughty side of her wanted it to.
“Good. You don’t even have to drink anything. You could just grab and go, if you like.”
Oh, she would like to grab and go...
When Shelby hung up a few minutes later, after Ian had given her the details about the café, her heart was still beating wildly. Her mind was racing, but she was smiling like an idiot. Giddiness overwhelmed her, as she suddenly realized what had just transpired. Unable to contain herself, she flopped sideways onto the futon, pulling the quilt up over her face to stifle her giggles. She was meeting up with Ian McLean.
Here she was sitting on her futon in yesterday’s rumpled clothes and with her hair in knots all around her head. Yet she had just accepted a coffee date with the man she had spent an entire day drooling over, and whose dark eyes and sexy-as-hell muscles had featured prominently in her dreams the previous night.
It didn’t matter that the last thing she needed right now was another man complicating her life. What mattered was that she was meeting Ian, and it felt good. She could worry about all the other stuff later. Besides, he was just returning her purse. It wasn’t like it was an actual date. For the first time since leaving Blake, she was grateful her boys spent Sunday mornings with their dad.
But then, as her giggles subsided, her elation began to crash and doubts started creeping in. She could tell herself all kinds of encouraging stuff, but the truth was she wasn’t even close to being in Ian McLean’s league. She was straight up crazy to think she was.
Why had she agreed to meet with him? It was going to be excruciatingly awkward when she couldn’t manage to hold an intelligent conversation.
She wrapped her dad’s quilt tighter around her like a cocoon. Meeting with Ian was a big mistake. She should have said no. After all, she had felt the same kind of thrill when Blake had first shown interest in her and look how that had turned out. Her independence was new and fragile; she couldn’t afford to do anything to jeopardize it. Just because a man paid her some attention didn’t mean she had to go running after him—no matter that he was
mouthwateringly delicious.
Shelby could pretend this wasn’t the same thing. Ian wasn’t Blake, and this was just coffee. But in reality, it was the exact same thing. Blake had taught her that it was easy to be fooled by first impressions, and her mother would say there was no such thing as just coffee between women and men.
Her looping thoughts were cut short by the phone ringing. Shelby smiled ruefully; it turned out she wasn’t going to have to find out if she had made a huge mistake in judgment after all. She instinctively knew Ian had realized it was a mistake to meet with her and was calling back to cancel. He probably had a better offer—coffee with a woman who curved in all the right places. She held the phone briefly, steeling herself to take the call; just because it was for the best didn’t mean she wasn’t disappointed.
“Hello,” she said, doing her best to sound nonchalant.
“Are you still in bed?” said a voice that definitely wasn’t Ian’s.
“Mom?” Relief swept over her. It wasn’t Ian calling to cancel.
“Seriously, Shelby, you can’t sleep the day away,” Caroline scolded.
“Mom! I’m not sleeping.”
“Blake called me this morning—”
“Mom,” Shelby interrupted, relief quickly replaced by frustration. She should have known her mother would be calling about Blake this morning. Why hadn’t she learned the first time and checked the call display?
“I don’t have time to chat right now. I’m meeting someone for coffee.”
“Really? Who?”
Shelby winced. She had made a rookie mistake. She had managed to divert her mother from her initial reason for calling, but now there was no hope Caroline was going to let her off the phone until she had all the dirty details.
“I really have to go, Mom.” She could almost hear her mother putting her hands on her hips.
“What are you hiding?”
Shelby sighed. “Nothing, Mom. I’m just in a hurry.” She wanted to keep it all secret, but she also knew she would have to confess, or Caroline would never let her be, and then she would be late. “I’m meeting the instructor from my course.”
Saving Shelby Page 3
