Despite the pure bliss of having her body pressed up against him, just like in one of her fantasies, Shelby couldn’t silence her mind. She knew she should probably just keep quiet and enjoy every second of the dance, but this was her chance to explain what happened last week.
She raised her head until her lips were just below his ear. “I need to explain what happened the other day with Blake.”
He pulled back just slightly so he could look at her. “Not necessary.”
“But I need you to understand what happened.”
He released her hand so he could cup his hand around her face. Gently, he tilted her head until she was looking into his eyes. “You don’t need to explain anything to me.” The arm around her waist pulled her tighter to him until she was pressed so hard against his chest that their bodies were almost melded together. He released her face and rested his cheek against hers.
Shelby breathed in the scent of him—a mixture of pine and something deep and earthy that she couldn’t name. She should just melt against him and enjoy these few moments wrapped up in his arms; he clearly didn’t want to hear her explanation. But her mind refused to settle, and she had never had much control over her mouth.
“But you stood up for me, and I sent you away.”
“It’s okay,” he breathed in her ear. “It’s what you needed at the time.”
Her body melted. Her legs would have given out underneath her, if she hadn’t been wrapped up tight in his strong arms.
Don’t get too crazy. He hadn’t actually said he was interested in her. But between the alcohol making her mind fuzzy and the nearness of him making her body ache, it was hard to see the distinction.
When she was this close to Ian, it was hard to remember why getting involved with a man was a bad idea.
As the song ended, Ian pulled away slightly. She held her breath hoping he would claim the next dance with her, but Ginny swooped in.
“Come on, Shelby, I need to pee,” her friend said looking pointedly at Shelby and pointing towards the back of the club.
Hesitating before allowing herself to be drawn away, Shelby hoped Ian would override Ginny’s request, but Spencer had also materialized out of the crowd and was drawing Ian away. Shelby looked at Ginny and then back at Ian and Spencer.
Spencer knew Ian; which meant Ginny knew him too.
With trepidation, Shelby allowed Ginny to draw her away, abandoning herself to her fate of being controlled by the female bladder and the sacred female code that women must go to the bathroom in pairs.
Glancing back, she caught Ian looking at her over Spencer’s shoulder. He winked at her before turning back. Her insides did a little flip, and she grinned foolishly. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t looking for a relationship; a girl could have a little fun.
As soon as they were in the line for the bathroom, Ginny rounded on her. “Spill.”
“What?” Shelby was jolted back to the present.
“Uh-uh.” Ginny wagged her finger at her. “Don’t be coy. Does your hot fantasy instructor happen to be Ian McLean?”
Shelby blushed and glanced around, trying to look anywhere but at Ginny.
Ginny laughed. “It’s him, isn’t he?”
“Ginny,” she pleaded. “I didn’t know you knew him.”
“Only since I was like five. This is just way too good.”
It was already steaming hot in the bar, but Shelby could feel the heat rising in her face. Wasn’t it just her luck to be crushing on Ginny’s brother’s friend just like some high-school girl?
She grabbed Ginny’s hand. “You can’t say anything to him.”
Ginny’s forehead wrinkled in consternation. “Honey, you think I’d break the girlfriend code? Your secret is safe with me. But I have some things I could tell you about Mr. McLean—” Ginny’s eyes were suddenly fixed on something behind Shelby. “Wait, what is that?”
Shelby turned to see what her friend was pointing at.
“Survival Spa Week. Come learn how to survive in the woods while being pampered in the natural spa of the river springs,” Ginny read off the poster. “That sounds vaguely fun.”
Turning to get a better look at the poster, Shelby breathed, “It would be amazing.” Her voice was wistful, like a kid dreaming of an impossible Christmas toy.
Ginny’s eyes lit up with the glimmer that Shelby was starting to recognize as the signal that Ginny was going to suggest something crazy. “Let’s do it.”
“What?” Shelby stepped away from the poster, her relief at Ginny getting distracted from her “crush” on Ian disappearing as a new panic set in. “No.” She started to shake her head. There was no way she could afford a week at a survival camp, never mind the logistical nightmare of getting care for her kids.
“Oh, come on. I know you’ve got holidays banked.”
“Yeah, in case my kids get sick.”
“Don’t hide behind your kids. This is your dream. You’ve gotta be brave. Make the change you’ve been talking about.” Ginny leaned in to read the small print. “Look. Down here it says they have a scholarship program, and the spa course counts. It’s win-win. You get to spend a week at the ‘spa’ with me, in the wilderness, which you profess to love. And you can potentially earn a scholarship for your training. Let’s do it.”
“There’s no way. I was terrible at the Adventure Safe course. I botched everything.” She stepped further away from the poster, her back now up against the other wall, like the poster might drag her to the wilderness spa without her consent.
“Give yourself a break. And didn’t Ian say you rocked?” Ginny emphasized Ian’s name in a manner suggesting Ian had done a lot more. “I’ll do it with you. The spa part is intriguing, and I must have some nature-loving genes in me. I do have Mr. Outdoorsman for a brother.”
Shelby made a face. Her mind was all muddled up from the alcohol. Her body still hummed from being pressed against Ian, and her emotions were in chaos. She was in no condition to be making big decisions.
But it sounded so amazing.
And Ginny was right; she needed to make actual changes, if she wanted things to change. It was time to stop talking and take some action—so why was she hesitating?
“If the survival part doesn’t work out, we’ll chalk it up to a girls’ getaway. Come on. It’ll be fun.” Ginny grasped Shelby’s arm and looked her earnestly in the eyes. “You deserve some fun.”
Shelby smiled regretfully. “Ah, thanks. I appreciate your support, but there’s no way. I don’t have the money, and what about my kids?” Plus, she was terrified she would mess it up. She needed to take some steps towards change, but this was too big of a step.
Ginny shook her head. “Those are just excuses. We’re doing this. Seriously, like right now.” Ginny pulled her cell phone out of her purse and started entering the website.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the leftover pleasure from being cozied up to Ian, but Shelby suddenly found herself engulfed in Ginny’s enthusiasm. She clapped her hands over her mouth as she started to giggle. “Yes, let’s do this.”
Ginny smiled triumphantly and tapped at the screen of her phone, occasionally asking Shelby for information. After a few minutes, she looked up. “Done. And don’t you think for one moment I’ve forgotten about Ian. We’ll be getting back to him.”
Shelby’s cheeks bloomed scarlet.
CHAPTER 10
Ian watched while Ginny led Shelby away towards the women’s bathroom, a smile still curling his lips. After thinking about her all week, it had felt so good to pull her against his body. He wanted to go after her and pull her back onto the dance floor. He wanted to grind against her, feel her warmth and bask in her burgeoning desire.
And then, he wanted to take her back to his place, so he could show her what real passion was. It had been a long time since he had felt this alive, and he wanted to slake his desire in the soft curves of her body.
He had been hesitant to come out with Spencer tonight. He hadn’t gotte
n much sleep escorting college grads to Della Falls, and he was scheduled to leave first thing in the morning for another off-grid excursion. He should have gone straight home to bed. Now, he was glad he had caved and let Spencer drag him out tonight. He had been dreaming about her and seeing her here tonight made it all worth it.
Shelby turned back towards him, and he winked, sending her a promise that they would continue what they had started, as soon as they were able to slip free from their friends. He saw a smile spread across her face—she was feeling everything that he was.
“Let’s get you another drink,” Spencer said, snapping Ian’s attention away from the spot where Shelby had disappeared.
He turned slowly towards his friend and reality rushed in. What the hell was he doing? He had spent the last week reminding himself why he needed to stay away from Shelby. She was too much temptation. She made him want to go places that he just couldn’t go. After Natalie, he had promised himself that he would never put himself in that kind of a situation again.
He had proved he couldn’t handle it.
Sensations still pulsed through his body—super-heated desire that needed to be cooled, and he knew he couldn’t turn to Shelby for that. He needed to walk away from her. He needed to put some space between them—some emotional space, before he made things more complicated than they already were.
As the room spun around him, he felt like he was a drowning man coming up for air, and he was grateful to Spencer for pulling him out. It would take a moment to get his bearings back, but he would. He would find solid ground, and then he would commit himself to forgetting about Shelby and her seductive blue eyes.
It was something he had to do.
When they had met at the café, he had been able to tell himself that it meant nothing; he had merely been mentoring her. He had seen the passion of her dreams in the depths of her blue eyes, and he had known that he could help those dreams come true—that was all it had been.
He had even been able to pretend that his reaction on her front lawn was the same reaction any man would have. He had stepped in to protect her, because it was the right thing to do—not because he had designs on her.
He couldn’t deny this dance though. He couldn’t deny the way it felt to hold her body against his. He hadn’t wanted the song to end anymore than she had. But it had ended, and now he had to face the consequences of letting down his guard.
“I don’t need another drink,” Ian said, shaking his head; his world was already tilting a little on its axis, and he needed a clear mind.
Spencer raised his eyebrows speculatively. “Are you sure about that? We’ve got some pretty serious dancing to do tonight, and I just had to peel you off Ginny’s friend. I personally feel that you need an adjustment to your judgment.”
Ian glanced one more time towards the bathroom, and then turned back to his friend, taking the offered drink—not even caring what was in it. He took a deep drink, shuddering as the fiery liquid hit the back of his throat.
“You’re supposed to sip that,” Spencer said, leaning in. “Do I need to worry about you?”
Ian tensed, ready to leap to Shelby’s defence. Spencer had always been a bit of an ass when it came to women. He wouldn’t be able to see Shelby’s charms, but the hell if Ian was going to let him slander her.
“I know going back to Della Falls was a tough move for you. I thought getting out for the night would be a good distraction, but it wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong.”
Instantly Ian relaxed. Spencer wasn’t talking about Shelby—she probably wasn’t even on his radar. He was talking about Natalie or maybe Charlene. It wasn’t like they could be separated from each other.
“I wish I’d gotten that on tape. The mighty Spencer White admitting that he isn’t always right. I could’ve probably made some money with a recording like that,” Ian quipped, trying to lighten the mood and deflect Spencer’s attention.
Spencer raised one eyebrow and tipped his glass towards Ian. “What I think is that there are some sexy women out on that dance floor looking lonely, and I think it’s our duty to rescue them.”
“You sure Stephanie’s going to be okay with you saving hapless women?”
Spencer shrugged. “Stephanie knows she’s dating a hero.” Winking, Spencer started to move towards the dance floor. “And a hero always saves the lady.”
“You’re crazy.”
“It’s what you love about me,” Spencer called over his shoulder, as he was absorbed into the dance floor. Instantly a group of women started moving around him.
Ian shook his head. He had known Spencer since they were kids, and Spencer had always had an easy time with the women. Ian had been like that once too. But tonight, he couldn’t follow Spencer’s lead. He couldn’t pretend that he was carefree. He had demons and dancing with scantily clad women whose entire focus was to entice him into doing carnal things wasn’t going to change that.
It would just make him hate himself in the morning.
What he needed was the forest. He needed to retreat so he could work out how to counteract Shelby’s siren song before he got himself in too deep.
He hadn’t wanted to hear her explanation earlier because he already felt guilty for abandoning her. He hadn’t wanted to hear about how she had needed him, and he had let her down—just like Charlene. So, he hadn’t let her speak her mind—using the romance of the dance to hide from the memories and the guilt.
It hadn’t been his finest hour.
He was an ass, and he needed to get out of here, before he caused some real damage.
Shelby emerged from the gloomy bathroom hallway, a little dazed both from the alcohol she had already consumed, and the fact that she had just let Ginny convince her to sign up for a week-long survival course.
This evening had already been crazy, and the responsible adult in her knew that she should just head home and relieve the babysitter before this night cost her an entire pay cheque. But the wild and crazy side, that had been supressed for a decade, was ready to party. Signing up for the Survival Spa Week was a giant step towards her dream of becoming a wilderness guide, and she wanted to celebrate before she sobered up and the reality of what she had done took the shine off.
Unbidden, her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for Ian. Her body still tingled from their dance, and she was keen to continue where they had left off. If it hadn’t been for his wink, she might have questioned her belief that a guy like Ian could want her.
But he had definitely winked at her, and she was ready for all that wink had promised—even if it was only for tonight.
She spotted him at the far end of the club, just past the dance floor. He turned and their eyes caught. Elation surged up through her in anticipation of being snuggled up against Ian’s rock-hard chest again. A grin spread across her face—this night certainly was turning around.
She raised a hand to wave. And then stilled, letting it drop back to her side.
Ian was leaving.
He had looked right at her, and then turned and hightailed it out of the club, like she was nobody.
Like he hadn’t promised her a thing.
“Ready for some more dancing?” Ginny asked, sidling up beside Shelby and grinding her hip into her. “I’m ready to celebrate!”
Shelby stepped away from Ginny’s gyrating hips. “I just want another drink.”
Ginny swayed her hips a few more times, and then shrugged her shoulders. “Sure. I’m up for that.”
To Shelby’s relief, Ginny turned and started dancing her way towards the bar without looking too closely at her. If she had to explain that watching Ian exit the club was too much for her to handle right now. She would cry for sure.
And only pathetic women cried in the club.
But hell, she had been so sure he had wanted her as much as she had wanted him—what a fool.
When the bartender handed her another Mike’s Hard Cranberry, Shelby barely paused before she chugged it. Apparently, even after her disastr
ous blind date, her night could get worse.
It was just after midnight when Ian finally stumbled into his apartment. He chucked his keys on the counter and made his way to his bedroom, where he fell face down on his bed. He was going to be a wreck tomorrow.
The instant he closed his eyes, Shelby’s stricken face, as he had walked away, came clear into his vision.
She hadn’t deserved to be treated like that, and he felt like an ass.
He could tell himself it was for the best; better to hurt her now when she had no expectations beyond a sensual dance, than later when there was a real emotional investment.
But that was complete bullshit, and he knew it. He should have been a man and faced her.
Ian flipped onto his back and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He didn’t want to care, but he sure as hell did. And it was torture. He was taking the cowards way out by not calling her and giving her an explanation.
Ian picked his phone up off the side table, where he had chucked it with his wallet, before he had collapsed on the bed. A sane man would probably wait until the morning. It was late, and Shelby had kids.
But right now, he didn’t feel like a sane man. He felt like a desperate man, and he knew that if he didn’t make the call tonight, then it would be too late. By the time the sun came up in the morning, he would already be on the bus on his way to Forbidden Plateau.
He was heading back to Strathcona Park, and that meant that he would be ten days without cell service.
He had to make the call now, or he would never be able to make it. You couldn’t wait ten days to make something like this right—the statute of limitations on forgiveness for being a complete jerk had probably already run out.
He pressed the power button to wake up his phone, scrunching his eyes at the hit of bright light. He tapped in his PIN, readying himself to make the call, trying to figure out what he would say to Shelby that could fix this. He had seen her face crumble, as her anticipation turned to disappointment.
He had led her on.
Saving Shelby Page 8
