July 2011
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Paulina Gruscheva’s handwriting was bold and sophisticated, like the woman herself. She wrote with a Montblanc fountain pen, the black ink flowing in curved flourishes over the expensive cream-colored envelope.
She’d had to look up his address. Miraculously, he was in the Cambridge telephone book.
As she peered down at the letters and numbers she’d written, a smile of satisfaction spread across her beautiful features. Then she sealed the envelope and readied herself to take it to the post office.
He was going to be surprised.
Chapter Twenty-one
July 2011
Italy
Julia and Gabriel said good-bye to Katherine, Paul, and Oxford a few days after the conference. The last words exchanged with Paul were especially awkward. Julia knew her friend and consequently knew that something was wrong. But when she asked him about it, he merely referenced his anxiety over his dissertation.
When he hugged her good-bye, he held her tightly and a little too long. Julia said they’d stay in touch, and he nodded but didn’t agree. She excused his behavior by telling herself that he was simply being nostalgic about their friendship.
Gabriel distracted Katherine from noticing Paul’s exchange with Julia, trying to give them some privacy. He took no pleasure in seeing Paul’s discomfort, or the way he tried to appear happy and at ease for Julia’s sake.
The Emersons traveled to Rome, celebrating Gabriel’s birthday on the seventeenth of July with a special tour of the Vatican Museum. There was, however, a shocking lack of museum sex.
(Not even Gabriel was tempted to indulge himself with Julia inside the Vatican.)
They visited Assisi for a few days, where they prayed and lit candles at the crypt of St. Francis. Although Gabriel and Julia didn’t confess the content of their prayers, it was understood that they prayed for each other, for their marriage, and for the eventual gift of a child.
To these prayers, Julia added her own requests for wisdom and strength, while Gabriel asked for goodness and courage. Both of them prayed for Rachel and Aaron, asking that God would bless their attempts to have a baby.
So it was that they arrived at their house near Todi, an Umbrian village, at the end of July. The house was located near a mixed fruit tree orchard and boasted an enclosed pool that was bordered on one edge by lavender. The fragrant flowers perfumed the air, and Julia placed a few sprigs between the sheets of their bed.
When she awoke the next day, Gabriel was gone. With the sun high in the sky and shining in through the balcony windows she was not surprised by his absence, or by the coolness of the sheets on his side. Clutching his pillow, which still retained the scent of Aramis mingled with lavender, she found a handwritten note.
Good Morning, Darling.
You were sleeping too peacefully to awaken.
I’ve gone into Todi to pick up a few things from the market.
Call my cell phone if you need anything.
Love,
G.
PS. You’re breathtaking.
Julia smiled. It was a simple note, not unlike countless others he’d written for her. But in the bottom corner, almost as an afterthought, he’d sketched her. It was her profile while she slept, transposed into a small pencil drawing. Underneath it he’d written My Beatrice.
She hadn’t known that he had skill with a pencil, although his dexterity in other respects suggested a multiplicity of manual talents. The sketch was quite good. She wanted to frame it.
Still smiling, she swung her naked feet to the floor and walked gingerly to the closet. She didn’t feel like wearing clothes. So she took one of Gabriel’s dress shirts and put it on, buttoning only a few of the buttons before searching one of the dresser drawers for some socks.
From downstairs, she heard Gabriel’s voice calling. Enthusiastically, she sped down the stairs and toward the kitchen.
“Hello.” He kissed her forehead as he set the groceries on the counter. ”You look pretty.”
Hands free, he pecked first one cheek then the other before trapping her in his arms.
“Did you sleep well?” His lips moved against her hair.
“Very well. Between our stay in Assisi and last night, I think I’ve slept more than in months.” She pressed her mouth to his Adam’s apple, and he recoiled slightly as if she’d tickled him. “Thank you for the drawing.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I didn’t know you could draw.”
“Darling, I’d paint you if I could. With my fingers.”
“Stop teasing me, Professor. Every time I think of paint, I think of what we did on the floor back in Selinsgrove. And it gets me hot and bothered.” She pouted in jest.
“I’ll see to that later, I promise.” He released her from his arms, smiling slyly. “I like your socks.”
She looked down at her feet and flexed them.
“Argyle is sexy.”
“Indeed. A friend once told me that argyle is the fabric of seduction.”
“You have strange friends.” She shook her head, plucking a grape from the fruit bowl and eating it.
He began unpacking the groceries, watching her from the corner of his eye. ”You seem happy.”
She hoisted herself up onto the counter and began to swing her legs back and forth.
“I am. The conference is over; we had a great time in Rome and Assisi. I’m in love with my husband and I get to share this fantastic house with him. I’m the luckiest woman in the universe.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. ”In the universe? Hmmm. I’m sure the inhabitants of the galaxy next door will be sorry to hear that.”
She playfully poked him with her argyle-covered foot. ”You’re a nerd.”
He turned on her and grabbed her foot, pulling it upward until her leg was extended to the height of his shoulder. She reclined on her elbows to maintain her balance.
“What did you just call me?” He feigned anger, but his sapphire eyes twinkled.
“Um, I called you a nerd.”
He raised a single eyebrow.
“Oh, really? Would a nerd do this?” Expertly, Gabriel used his fingers to stroke the contours of Julia’s instep.
When she sighed at the pleasant sensation, he peeled off her socks before tossing them over his shoulder.
“Let’s see if we can get you all hot and bothered, shall we?” His voice was low, and it made Julia quiver.
He slid his hand over her leg, toying with the back of her knee until she groaned.
“Julianne,” he growled, his eyes dancing.
“Y-yes?”
“You aren’t wearing panties.”
With a single finger, he traveled the length of her inner thigh and back again, stroking up and down in a patient rhythm.
She began to breathe rather rapidly as his fingers approached where she was exposed.
“Nerds are not known for their skills in lovemaking.” Gabriel withdrew his hand and placed his index finger against her mouth.
She parted her lips and he pressed his finger inside. She closed around him, sucking his finger slightly before releasing it.
He winked at her before using his now-moistened finger to stroke the inside of her upper thigh.
“Would a nerd know to do this?” He leaned over and began to blow across the trail of wetness he’d left with his finger.
When Julia shivered, he smiled wickedly and nuzzled the same trail with his nose.
Standing up again, he kissed her hungrily and then abruptly retreated. Before she had the time to protest, he dropped to his knees in front of her.
“Hmmmm,” he said, moving her legs so that they rested on his shoulders again. “This counter seems to be the perfect height. I guess you really are the luckiest woman in the universe.�
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Chapter Twenty-two
The following evening, Julia awoke in the middle of the night and visited the en-suite. On her return, she heard Gabriel shifting in bed, a few muffled words escaping his lips.
This was not surprising. Gabriel was usually a deep sleeper, but there were nights when he’d toss and turn and even talk in his sleep. Usually, Julia wasn’t bothered by it. But on this evening, he started thrashing in bed and cursing.
She was at his side instantly. “Gabriel?”
He continued his erratic movements, punctuated as they were by moments of torpor.
She switched on the lamp. “Gabriel?”
He mumbled. Then, all of a sudden, he tore at the bedclothes, wrestling and flailing until he was free.
His eyes shot open and he sat up, gasping for breath.
“Are you all right?” Julia elected to keep her distance, speaking in a low voice.
He looked at her, disoriented, and clutched his chest.
“Is it your heart? Can you breathe?”
“Nightmare.” His voice cracked.
“I’ll get you a drink.” Julia returned to the en-suite and retrieved a glass, filling it with water from the tap. He accepted it wordlessly.
She sat on the edge of the bed and waited, watching him closely.
“What was your nightmare about?”
He finished his drink, placing the glass on the nightstand.
“Give me a minute.”
Julia wanted to brush his dark hair back from his forehead, but she didn’t think he would welcome the gesture.
His blue eyes blinked before fixing on the wall behind her.
“My biological parents.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Julia reached out to hug him, but he stiffened. She paused for a moment, then walked over to her side of the bed.
Gabriel didn’t move. He didn’t even bother to turn out the light but continued to sit with his back against the headboard.
She slid over to him, underneath the sheets. She wanted to comfort him. But the air around him was charged with a strange kind of energy. Gabriel didn’t want to be touched.
She closed her eyes and had almost drifted into sleep, when his voice came out of the darkness.
“I was with my mother in our old apartment in Brooklyn. I could hear her and my father arguing.”
Julia’s eyes snapped open.
“I heard a crash. I heard my mother crying. I ran into the kitchen.”
“Was she okay?”
“She was kneeling on the floor. He was standing over her, shouting. I hit him with my fists. I shouted back. He shoved me and went to the front door. My mother crawled after him, begging him not to leave.”
Gabriel’s eyes glinted coldly, anger distorting his handsome features.
“Fucking bastard,” he spat.
“Sweetheart,” Julia murmured. She slid her hand across the sheet, making contact with his hip.
“I hate him. He’s been dead for years and still, if I knew where his grave was, I’d piss on it.”
Julia pressed her palm into his hip.
“I’m sorry.”
When he didn’t respond, she stroked his skin softly, an act that was meant to be soothing.
“He hit her. It was bad enough that he seduced her and abandoned us. But the asshole hit her.”
“Gabriel,” she whispered. “It was only a dream.”
He shook his head, still staring off into space.
“I don’t think so.”
Julia stilled. “You think it was real?”
Gabriel covered his eyes, pressing his fingers into the sockets. “I don’t think that was the first time they fought. Or the first time I intervened.”
“How old were you?”
“Young. Five or six. I don’t know.”
“You were a brave boy, defending your mother.”
Gabriel dropped his hands into his lap.
“It didn’t do any good. He broke her. Can you imagine crawling after a man who hit you? In front of your son?”
“She must have loved him.”
“Don’t make excuses,” he snapped.
“Gabriel, look at me.” Her tone was gentle.
He turned in her direction, his eyes blazing fire.
“I stayed with Simon,” she remarked quietly.
Gabriel blinked, and slowly the fire in his eyes began to diminish.
“I didn’t know your mother. But I know how messed up my head was when I was with Simon.”
“That was different. You were young.”
“I can’t imagine your mother was very old when she had you. How old was she?”
“I don’t know,” he ground out.
“She thought she loved him. She had a child with him.”
“He was married.”
Julia fidgeted with the sheet that covered her. “We can’t change our pasts. All we can change is the future.”
“I’m sorry I woke you.” Gabriel pressed a kiss against her hair.
“You didn’t.”
He pulled back so he could see her face. “Oh, really?”
“I had a female problem to attend to.”
After a moment, realization passed over his features. “Oh. Are you feeling all right?”
“I’m not feeling my best but it will pass.”
“I thought you seemed a little sensitive earlier.” He ghosted a hand over her breasts.
She grabbed his hand, stilling it.
“I’m sorry about your nightmare.”
He moved away, turning the light off. Then he slipped under the sheet next to her.
She could hear him bring his teeth together, clenching his jaw.
“Do you really think it’s a memory and not just a nightmare?”
“Sometimes I can’t tell,” he admitted.
“Has it happened before?”
“On occasion. It’s been a while.”
“You never said anything.”
“It isn’t something I like to discuss, Julianne. My memories of my childhood are vague at best. And what I remember, I try to forget.”
“Have you told Dr. Townsend about them?”
“Briefly, yes.” He touched Julia absently, floating his fingertips over her back. “I know very little about my parents.”
“I can understand your anger at your parents. But it isn’t a healthy thing to hold on to.”
“I know that.” He stopped touching her and rolled to his side, facing her. “There might be terrible skeletons in my family’s closet. Could you love me in spite of them?”
“I’d never love you in spite of anything, Gabriel. I just love you.”
He captured her mouth, but only for an instant. They relaxed into the bed, spooning under the covers.
Just as she was about to drift into sleep, Gabriel’s voice sounded in her ear.
“Thank you.”
The next morning, Julia was sunning herself by the pool before it grew too warm. She wore a large sun hat and a very small blue bikini. Gabriel had persuaded her to purchase the bikini during their trip to Belize before they were married. She had had few occasions to wear it.
She thought back to the previous evening and Gabriel’s nightmare. It had disturbed them both. She couldn’t help but envision what he’d described—his mother on the floor, crawling after the man who fathered her child and abandoned her. Perhaps that image, fictional or otherwise, was part of what generated Gabriel’s intense antipathy to the sight of Julia on her knees. Even now, several months into their marriage, that was one position he couldn’t countenance.
Perhaps it’s because of Paulina.
Julia winced. She didn’t like thinking of Gabriel’s former lover and the mother of the child they’d lost. But unless Gabriel was hiding some
thing, he hadn’t heard from her in over a year.
Julia was inclined to let sleeping dogs lie.
A shadow fell over her legs and she looked through her sunglasses to see him standing over her. He was clad only in black swimming trunks and was carrying a towel.
His muscled chest and arms rippled as he moved, kissing her before placing the towel on a chair and diving into the pool. The water was warm and a welcome respite from the bright Umbrian sun.
Gabriel swam laps, losing himself in the almost-silence of the water. Back and forth and back and forth. During physical exercise, as during sex, he could relieve his mind of all worry and stress, focusing only on his movements.
He actively suppressed all thought or reflection on his nightmare. An intuition had taken hold that told him that the dream was a memory. No amount of reasoning had been able to persuade him otherwise. So he simply turned his attention to something else—the feel of the sun and the water against his flesh, the sound of splashing in his ears, the taste of chlorine, the glorious burn in his muscles as he pushed himself to swim faster.
He was counting laps, flip turn upon flip turn, when the peacefulness of his morning swim was broken by a sudden cry.
He surfaced immediately, his eyes searching for Julia. She was still in her chair, but she’d swung her legs over the side of the lounge and was holding her iPhone to her ear.
“She’s what?” Julia’s voice was unusually shrill.
Gabriel wiped his eyes so he could see her better.
“You’re kidding.” She paused, mouth gaping. “When is she due?”
Gabriel swam to the ladder and climbed out of the pool. He picked up his towel and began to dry off, his eyes fixed on her.
“No, I’m happy. I’m happy for you both. I just can’t believe it.” Her tone was sincere, if not surprised, but her body language was notably tense.
Gabriel waved a hand in front of her face. “Who is it?” He pointed at the phone.
My dad, she mouthed.
Now it was Gabriel’s turn to gape. If her words meant what he thought they meant, then . . .
“So when is the wedding?” Julia peered up at Gabriel, lifting her eyebrows.
“I don’t know. I’ll check with him and get back to you. Wow, Dad. This is really sudden.”
Gabriel's Redemption (Gabriel's Inferno Trilogy) Page 16
