by Vlada Asta
“They won’t go there – but they’ll hire someone who will.”
“It’ll be their funeral,” Aeterni chuckled. “When in the world have you become so cowardly? We’ve discussed this with Mother. She supports Robert’s decision.”
She supported it – but she didn’t promise him anything. Neither she nor her children could tell if he would survive this. Teresa would create a new body out of his flesh, that was for sure. The trick was to keep his personality and memories intact. That was what made him Robert Laas, the scientist!
But if his memories were gone and he’d have to start his life from scratch, that wouldn’t be too bad. Robert didn’t think his achievements were that great. A couple of useful inventions, and that was it… That wouldn’t change history. That wouldn’t make his soul stronger.
The Hente were the first to get into the car, and then he joined them. He wasn’t afraid to stay alone with them. After all, they could kill him anywhere, why would they do it now?
Robert was curious about why Sebastian didn’t join them, but he thought it was tactless to ask something like that.
“Are we waiting for somebody else?” he enquired just in case.
“No. Maya will stay here as the ambassador of our Clan. We may leave now.”
He wasn’t talking about Maya, but Aeterni let him know the topic was closed.
The car with the Laas family symbol on it had no problems with moving through the peninsula. No control point tried to stop it, all ways were open to it. The roads were empty now… Almost all military and labor resources were concentrated in Toulouse, improving the Hydrosystem.
Robert could’ve been part of that, but he didn’t want to. He told his relatives he was afraid to travel that far, and they left him alone. They believed in his helplessness, which actually made his escape simpler.
They had been driving in silence for a long time. Robert had no idea what the Hente were thinking about, their solid eyes gave nothing away. And he was dwelling upon his future… that suddenly seemed so weird!
“Can you tell me… how is it going to happen?” he asked.
“What, having second thoughts?” Aeterni was surprised. “You’re no longer confident in what you’re doing?”
“No, it’s just… Knowing makes things easier.”
“I told you he’s too weak,” Karim grumbled.
“Oh shut up!” Aeterni smirked, and looked at Robert again. “No-one can tell how it’s going to be, because Mother has never done this before… One thing is clear: it’s too complicated of a task for a replacement body to perform. That’s why we’ll take you to Mother’s main body.”
They didn’t tell him where they were going. Robert understood everything. It was their Clan’s main weakness, and he wouldn’t know where it was until he reached it.
“Mother will have to swallow your body completely,” Aeterni continued. “And then she’ll unite it with new flesh, because your own flesh isn’t enough to make a mature predator. The point is to save your brain, which holds your knowledge and memories. It’s possible, though it’s very hard.”
“You know… Can I ask you to do something if I die?”
“What?”
“Give the Hente Teresa will create from my flesh my name. Tell him about me. Let him think he is me.”
Aeterni nodded briefly. Karim didn’t comment, and for the first time since the beginning of their journey he was looking at the human with interest.
Robert couldn’t even see Barcelona in the distance anymore. His old life was left behind… and his future remained uncertain.
***
Warm wind touched the rose bushes gently, filling the air with their aroma. Gabriella loved this place, and Sebastian was thinking about her every time he came here. He couldn’t skip visiting her favorite spot for the last time – it was equal to saying goodbye. She didn’t have a real grave after all… When earth became priceless, it wasn’t provided for something as sentimental as cemeteries anymore. Only the richest citizens could afford to have family tombs. Others were burned, their ashes given to the sea.
So only such places were left to remind about the deceased. Sebastian doubted he’d ever return to this garden again…
“Sebastian… is that you?”
The voice coming from the monastery entrance made him turn around.
“Yeah,” he replied. “Haven’t recognized me, huh?”
“I’m not used to seeing you like this…”
Lucas’s surprise was logical: the church warriors always wore their uniforms, making it easy for the citizens to recognize them. And Sebastian came here wearing civilian travel clothing. He had his uniform with him, neatly folded in his arms; he was still to return it.
His cross was laying on top of the clothes.
“I guess it’s the truth after all…” Lucas said quietly. “You’re leaving.”
“The rumor has already spread?”
“Such rumors always spread easily.”
He thought that making that final decision would be difficult. But the reality turned out to be the opposite: he felt wonderful, as if an immense load had been lifted off his chest. His intuition told him: he did the right thing, that was his destiny, not the monastery.
The Cardinal was amazingly understanding about his request. He must’ve felt it was God’s will…
Sebastian couldn’t live in deceit anymore. He loved a woman – it didn’t matter if she was a Hente or a human. He couldn’t stop loving her. He had to abandon the Church not to offend his own faith.
Naturally, the retired warriors weren’t welcome in New Vatican. They were a disgrace to the Church, shattering the basics of its discipline. They weren’t punished officially, but it was easy to feel the attitude of the crowd.
Fortunately, that didn’t matter to Sebastian. He wasn’t going to stay in Barcelona or New Vatican. He didn’t care what people thought and talked about him. He knew that by staying here he would miss his chance to be his true self.
“I know why you’re doing this,” Lucas admitted. “People talk many things about you now, and almost none of them are right. Not like I give a damn! I was there, and I saw you together… Back then I already knew you wouldn’t be the same. I want to ask you something else… is she worth it? Is she worth burning all the bridges?”
“Yes. Only with her I can see some sense in my life. You can blame me all you want.”
“I don’t want to. What you are doing now is more honest than a forced attempt to stay here. A warrior who isn’t confident in his beliefs will fail the entire squad someday.”
Strangely enough, Lucas actually understood him – and didn’t judge him. His former enemy… that was truly ironic. Not everyone was like that.
Ulmanas didn’t forgive him. He considered this to be the betrayal of Gabriella’s memory and stopped talking to Sebastian. Sebastian couldn’t blame him… He knew that by accepting this love he was giving up his past, and that could be painful to some people. But it had to be this way.
He and Lucas left the rose garden and went to the storeroom, where Sebastian was to leave his uniform and get his new pass for traveling the peninsula.
“Are you going to return your weapons too?” Lucas inquired.
“No. Lord Cardinal allowed me to take my sword and a set of cartridges. No-one needs my bastard sword anyway, so it’s not a great loss to the Church.”
“Not the sword, but you are. Don’t think I’m trying to talk you into staying, I’m just stating a fact.”
“What about you? What are you planning to do here, patrolling again?”
“No. You wouldn’t believe it, but His Eminence assigned me to be the new Hente’s partner. Of that little girl! We fought together in Toulouse, and Lord Cardinal believes we’re friends after that. In a certain way, I am to take your place. But this time everything will be different!”
“It’s always different for everyone,” Sebastian noted. “Just remember: she’s not really a little girl.”
&nbs
p; “I know. And I wonder if she can change our city the way Aeterni did. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but… working with Hente is for the better. That’s our future.”
“Our future is also about changing our opinion if we were wrong. That’s the only way we can survive.”
While Sebastian was walking down the hallway, hostile looks were directed at him from all sides. He could hear whispering and laughing behind his back. But they didn’t dare to criticize him openly: few of those warriors could equal him in a fight.
They also looked at Lucas with suspicion, but he paid them no attention. He became Maya’s assistant, and that made his position special, his life would never be the same anyway.
The storeroom workers didn’t talk to him at all. They took the things that belonged to the Church from him… It was still strange not to have the heavy cross on his chest. However, Sebastian felt greater faith inside now than in the times he was simply wearing it.
“How are you going to find her?” Lucas asked.
“I have no idea.”
He didn’t know where Aeterni was at the moment. She left the city yesterday morning, travelling on Laas’s car… She was probably in the wild lands by now! He didn’t stand a chance to find her there.
Most people believed that his actions were suicidal. But Sebastian finally followed his soul’s desires.
“Doesn’t sound like you have a plan,” Lucas smirked. “You’re a psycho after all!”
“I know. Please, keep an eye on Ulmanas.”
“I’ll try my best. I hope I’ll meet you again someday.”
“Me too.”
Lucas was the only one whose hand Sebastian could shake confidently. People changed so fast… as well as relations between them. He wasn’t surprised by this anymore, he was glad.
He left the city on one of the buses that carried new shifts of soldiers to the border. Other passengers ignored him demonstratively, but Sebastian even liked that. In spite of his obviously hopeless position, he felt truly alive. He was overflowed with energy and desire for action, there were no burdens he couldn’t overcome. It was all the confirmation of doing the right thing he needed.
Toulouse was still being actively rebuilt. No-one left the city, all tools and materials were brought by sea. Sebastian’s lonely journey started from here. He passed the field where people were working – and continued walking. He knew they’d be shocked to witness it, but he didn’t turn around, he kept smiling to the sun above him. He no longer thought about what he left behind.
But it was hard to get used to the fact he was in the wild lands now. He remained on the wide roads that looked rather civilized, though he didn’t meet any people here. It was foreign territory, hostile towards any newcomers.
Especially lonely newcomers! The further he was from the border, the higher the chances of being attacked were. He was a perfectly easy target now! However, he couldn’t notice even the slightest movement around him.
The great defeat in Toulouse must’ve affected all Clans. They’d think twice before coming to the peninsula after that!
He didn’t know how far he would have to go, how and when he would find her. He expected nothing. But when Aeterni walked onto the road right in front of him, he wasn’t surprised. Her appearance here made sense to the harmony inside of him.
“It took you too long,” she smiled. “We grew tired of waiting… We’ve been here for half a day already!”
He knew that Laas and Karim were somewhere nearby. But she was the only one meeting him.
They didn’t agree on this. He took his decision to abandon the Church only after her departure! Because he understood he couldn’t fight himself forever.
But she knew he would do this. Because she loved him.
Aeterni came closer and hugged him. He could smell the sweet scent of her hair; he missed it.
“You look better now,” she whispered into his ear. “That uniform didn’t suit you.”
“You’ve never complained before.”
“Because I had nothing for comparison. You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”
“Never.”
Kissing her without feeling any doubt or guilt was wonderful. No matter what pain leaving the past behind brought, it was worth it. Sebastian got a final proof of that when he held the woman he loved close to him.
“The others couldn’t figure out why I parted with you so easily,” Aeterni winked at him. “Robert couldn’t, that’s for sure. And Karim thought I got smarter. Dreamer! I told them you’d come for me. They didn’t believe me… The longer we waited, the more they grumbled it was useless.”
The sun above them was starting to set. If they didn’t wait for him, they would’ve been too far by now, and he would never have found them. He was grateful they waited.
“So what happens now?” he asked. “What’s going to happen to us?”
“Life. We don’t have to set some great goal! We can start by setting small goals, doing something great along the way. We need to help Robert now. Then we’ll do something else. I don’t care what, as long as you are with me.”
He was thinking about the importance of one day again. That truth returned to him… An important stage of his life was over, just like the world had collapsed for the people from the past when the first Hente appeared. But Sebastian wasn’t scared. Losing one’s past meant having their soul reborn in a new way.
It was often frightening.
It could be hard sometimes.
But having this “you are with me” in his life was enough to overcome anything.
“I love you, Aeterni, do you know that?” Sebastian smiled. He felt like all of his previous years had been just a preparation for those words.
“I live for that. Now come on, I’ll show you the wild lands!”
