by Paul Edwards
If your phone isn’t ringing and your numbers aren’t where they need to be, get out of the office. Reconnect with your best allies, find out what community projects they’re working on. Get on the phone to your network and make things happen for them. Then you can sit back and watch as God returns the favor and makes things work for you.
CHAPTER 5
Owning It
(How to Network with Dream Connections)
I have more embarrassing recent stories of mediocre connections with influential people to open this chapter. First, however, let’s just say the best way to practice for meeting a high profile or celebrity connection is to do it for “regular people” you already know.
Vince Del Monte’s name comes up frequently in this book. He was the first global influencer I tried this on. He noticed a lot of what I did, because I’d already done it for people with nothing like the influence he has, multiple times over. That’s why you’ll do better if you practice before trying with people in the position to elevate you.
Unfortunately, like me, you may need several rounds in the saddle before this really becomes second nature. I learned that from the events surrounding my interview with Craig Ballantyne, author of The Perfect Day Formula. We were in New York City for Vince’s 7-Figure Mastermind. He agreed to a video interview with me during one of the breaks.
If I’d paid attention to my own rules, I would have found a way to add more value to Craig before shooting the video. I’d have become, as I did for Vince, “living social proof.” Craig was gracious and helpful in giving the interview, but it turned out to be a “training environment” exercise for me. I had only a few questions prepared, only my iPhone with which to film it and very little idea of how to promote it afterward.
I wanted Craig to share and promote the interview, but totally forgot how regimented and planned his social media calendar is. I can’t blame him for not doing anything with it. Some might decry this as being too hard on myself, but it made me more thoughtful and strategic about my interviews. I don’t like to see you make the same mistakes I did if you can avoid them. Especially when you’re right in front of these people and “this is your shot.”
How to Network with Dream Connections
Radically Generous Entrepreneurs get invited to all kinds of events, especially soirees where high-caliber citizens and public figures show up. This is because the people who invited them know that their guests will not try to solicit or beg for business. When meeting such people, you’ll notice Radically Generous Entrepreneurs observe some or all the following rules, almost without exception:
1.Be an Angler
2.Keep Your Ear to the Ground
3.Done-For-You Publicity
4.When All Else Fails, Ask Them Where It Hurts
5.Focus on the Farm Team
Be an Angler
As Sun-Tzu said in The Art of War, there are only two principal methods of attack: direct and indirect. In meeting prominent people, it’s almost invariably the latter. Politicians, CEOs, celebrities, and high performers network for business reasons, but hardly ever to transact business. It’s wise, therefore, to leave the credit card processor and the free samples at home. Be prepared to build relationships, similar to how you’d build a friendship.
One of my all-time best stories revolved around this very principle. In one 60-second encounter, I solved two big problems for two nonprofits where I served on the board. In that same interaction, I also gained clients and making a strong referral partner look good. Cameron Wilson, my commercial real estate friend from Chapter Three, invited me to a private fundraiser gathering for Bill Bryant. He ran unsuccessfully for governor of Washington State in 2016.
I suppose Bill would have been a great person to know, but I went there to meet John Setterstrom, chief executive of the Lucky Eagle Casino in Rochester, Washington. I needed to meet John because of the Miss Thurston County Pageant, which needed local “celebrity” judges. I also needed his backing for the benefit of the Lacey AUSA subchapter. We were organizing its first annual cigar and poker tournament. We wanted to have it at the Lucky Eagle.
I calculated if I could enlist John in being a judge for Miss Thurston County, I might be able to get his help with executive support for the poker game at the casino. Once Bryant’s remarks concluded, I walked up to John and said, “I’ve been trying to track you down. I’m on the board for the Miss Thurston County Pageant, and we want to recruit you as a judge for this year’s pageant.”
John’s face broke into a wide smile and he said, “That sounds fun! I’d be delighted. Here’s my card; email me and let me know the details.” It was the only time I saw him before the pageant. In our correspondence, I also brought up that we were trying to bring the poker game to the casino. I asked if he could help us in getting the venue donated.
He cheerfully agreed. After that, we had a beeline to negotiating appetizers, dealers and discounted hotel suites. The poker game was a tremendous success and a barrel of laughs. We had professional dealers, cocktail waitresses bringing us booze, and raised over $4000 for the soldiers and families of Joint Base Lewis-McChord.
Before attending events like these, the cardinal rule is to do your homework and prepare. It was risky for me, but I knew enough about John’s position to know he wouldn’t be interested in giveaways or discounted insurance rates. Playing at the CEO level reframes your priorities; if there was anything I could offer that John would have wanted, it was exposure and good public relations for his company.
Also, remember this entire masterpiece came from a 60-second conversation. I didn’t make pleasantries or chit-chat with John; I shook his hand and went straight to the point, leading with what was likeliest to matter to him. I could have started off with the poker game, but it would have taken too long. If you have an angle and a chance your Dream Connection will take you up on it, just get to the point and respect their time. It’s very likely their schedule is much tighter than yours.
Keep Your Ear to the Ground
Brittany Michalchuk, who I mentioned earlier, is a connector of the first order. Of everything she does well, Brittany understands the concept of being an unofficial “executive assistant.” She runs several influencer mastermind groups, mostly via Instagram. She facilitates introductions that help members get specifically what they need. It force-multiplies their revenue in the process. She’s able to intuit, anticipate or learn forensically what people look for … and then deliver with style.
With Brittany Michalchuk and Marion Cain at the Vince Del Monte 7-Figure Mastermind, New York
“Everything is about who you know in business,” she said. “That’s how you gain a lot of opportunities. It’s how so many different things transpire. I place a lot of importance on it, and I spend a lot of time cultivating a network of powerful individuals. I don’t ask for a lot, I just add value. It inspires them to want to add value back to my life. I’ve been able to create phenomenal opportunities from it.”
Thinking about Brittany’s business model took me back to a “practice round” I had with this. Andy Ryder, the Mayor of Lacey, Washington, and I first met in 2014 during a trade show. We became friends mainly through poker and cigars. For the next four years, he occasionally mentioned an interest in having me handle his entire insurance portfolio. But for one reason or another, we never could schedule time enough to get it done.
By 2016, however, Andy became more serious about it. He was uncertain of the coverage surrounding his chain of Shur-Kleen Car Wash locations and personal assets. In the meantime, I’d become a member of the Glacier Gun Club, an exclusive, indoor pistol range in downtown Olympia. It was a man’s paradise enclave, built to resemble a speakeasy parlor, complete with a wall of private lockers and a ventilated cigar lounge at the back.
Over a business luncheon one day, Andy made mention of the gun club, and said he was curious to go and try the range with his collection of pistols. He couldn’t find the time, didn’t have a membership and didn’t really want t
o go to the trouble of making time to sign up. This was where I already had my ear to the ground.
“Hey, no problem!” I said. “I’m a member there, I can get you in on a guest pass. All you do is show up and bring the heat, and we’ll put some rounds down-range. If you have time and feel like relaxing for a bit, we can smoke cigars in the lounge afterward.” Andy had no hesitation in accepting. All he had to do was pick a time his schedule wasn’t filled and bring his guns. I paid for cigars and refreshment, we blew off some steam and had a relaxed chat about insurance over stogies.
It didn’t happen that day, but later, Andy became a client. This principle, in some ways, mirrors the next one: “done for you” is music to the ears of people with power and influence. Their days are planned for them, they spend most of their time in meetings, committees and boardrooms with piles of papers to sign and authorizations to grant. Their work usually involves solving problems no one else knows or wants to figure out how to fix. A mental marathon.
At any time, their brains are usually frazzled. Imagine their relief, and the price they’re willing to pay, if you can create and deliver solutions to their problems to them on a silver platter, particularly if it increases their top line.
Remember Jim Ladd, senior pastor of Evergreen Christian Church, from the last chapter? He reacted with similar pleasure and speed when I asked him (in the correct way) to endorse my first book. He was generous enough to grant a review of it. I, however, took a few bad swings before I realized he wasn’t responding to my follow-up because he didn’t have margin in his calendar to make it a priority. I should have known.
I sent Jim an email with about six brief excerpts from the book, along with a draft paragraph he could use either to film a video endorsement or make a written one. Two days later, I had a quality video endorsement from Jim. It’s still on my YouTube channel to this day.
Done-For-You Publicity
John Corcoran is among the best connectors in the world. In the 1990s, while completing his university degree, he networked his way to an internship as a speechwriter in the Clinton White House. Subsequently, he worked for California Governor Gray Davis, who was ousted by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 2002 recall.
“It’s common for people to think too much about themselves and not about others,” John told me in an interview. “But if we focus more of our activities on delivering value for others, it will come back around to benefit us.” On his website, www.smartbusinessrevolution.com, John has a list of seven practical ideas you can use for connecting with VIPs and celebrities:
1.Record a video of yourself reviewing their product or book
2.Ask for an interview
3.“Buy” some of their time
4.Meet at a conference
5.Reach out using a heartfelt letter
6.Look for mutual friends
7.Honor them with an award
I realized much of my journey over 2017 and 2018 included doing most of these for Vince Del Monte. I could see why Vince said when we first spoke: “You’ve become one of the leaders of my fitness tribe. You posted all these progress photos and kept commenting on what other people were doing, so now a lot of guys in the group look up to you.”
I’d recorded videos of myself doing the exercises and following the nutrition program Vince prescribed. That helped others buy into the process (#1). I’d signed up to sit in on his 7-Figure Mastermind (#3). I’d sent him handwritten notes expressing my appreciation for how his guidance changed my life (#5). When I entered business coaching with Vince, I interviewed him for my podcast (#2). I attended the mastermind meetings in Toronto and New York (#4). To complete the list, I connected with a lot of his other students and friends in the business (#6).
When All Else Fails
Just Ask These Questions and Be Human
Another good point John raised, which I’d understood but never verbalized, was “acting like you own the place” when you meet people. We’ve all seen and mocked groupies and fanboys hanging like puppy dogs on every word of influential people. Something in us knows that sycophancy has no place between equals. Yet, some of us are content to swallow the lie that VIPs are somehow more meaningful.
Now it’s true to say there is a world of difference in the mind of the average person when I say something versus when the president of the United States says it. But that difference comes from the authority, rank, and influence in the minds of the audience, not from the actual person.
Therefore, the way to approach a city official, a Hollywood mogul, a reality-TV star or a business magnate is to act like you’re meeting a stranger nobody knows. Even though you’re meeting someone very well-known, you remain low-key. If you’re not sure how to do this, I always recommend these three questions I learned from Vince:
1.What’s going well for you lately?
2.What’s not going well for you?
3.What are you looking forward to?
I discovered ways to add value to people already saturated with it by doing this. When my sons attended Evergreen Christian School, I met Lyle Overbay, a retired first baseman for the Milwaukee Brewers and New York Yankees. His youngest son and my oldest son were in the same class, so we regularly crossed paths. He’s a native of Centralia, Washington.
I could see, even though he was retired, he still faced a regular onslaught of people wanting things. Typically, they wanted money, celebrity presence, influence or sway. I made a point of never asking him for anything, but I didn’t keep silent or just goggle from afar. Some people are afraid to talk to prominent people at all. That doesn’t do you good either.
Lyle also turned up at services in the same church I attend, the Church of Living Water. At the time, we needed extra hands to set up and tear down services in the Century Theater at Capital Mall. I recruited him casually, as I would have asked any average husband or father … “Hey, you wanna help with set-up and tear down?”
He accepted, and now I had a text message beeline to a retired MLB player. That led to opportunities to add more value. Occasionally, I’d shoot videos of our sons chasing each other and a soccer ball around the grass or challenging each other to a wrestle. What father wouldn’t appreciate such things out of the blue?
The time came to ask Lyle for a favor. As a member of the auction procurement committee, I nudged him about donating a signed baseball bat. He was more than generous in his response. When you meet these people, simply be human and bring value to them. They hear quite enough begging, so they don’t want to listen to one more hungry mouth.
Focus on the Farm Team
Another excellent point Jayson Gaignard makes is there are several combinations you can use to make one dollar. His point? You need a variety of people to try this on. It’s exhausting to add value to 100 “pennies,” and equally exhausting to try and build a relationship with a “silver dollar” person who owns their marketplace (like a Richard Branson or Warren Buffett).
Instead, I keep my long-range sights set on 100-cent “pieces” like Craig Ballantyne, or T-Mobile CEO John Legere. I comment on their posts and pay attention to what they talk about. If I can add value or testimonials, I do it … but there’s just too much noise to overcome (mostly people wanting things) for them to feel like they should cater to my needs.
I’m more interested in “the farm team,” or as Jayson put it, “being a talent scout.” I hunt for nickels, dimes, quarters and half-dollars. Would you agree the people who believe in you the most right now are the ones you’ll remember the most when you become influential and wealthy? One day you’ll try to find a spare moment of privacy where no one in the room “wants anything.” Will you remember someone who took a chance on you and invested when there was no guarantee it would work? At that point, will you still try to win the favor of people who ignored or dismissed you?
Once I adopted this approach, a ton of pressure came off. I have no difficulty connecting some of the brightest influencers of the coming decade with people and opportunities they want.
Bring Kingdom generosity to people the world has yet to fully celebrate … you’ll be amazed where it takes you.
A Mistake Redeemed
Recently, I did a “re-run” of my interview with Craig Ballantyne. I’d hoped, when I first aired it, that Craig would share it in his Instagram story and blow up my following. It was from a place of desperation, thinking my success lay in getting the right people to promote me and it would snowball from there.
The post contained the same original interview, but the marketing was different. This time around, I disabused myself of the notion Instagram was my ticket to business success; it is relationships that matter, particularly to the Radically Generous Entrepreneur. No social media platform has the ability to communicate your value to the core people you want to reach. It simply isn’t there.
With all that in mind, I ran a sixty-second clip of the video with captions promoting Craig to my following and tagged him in it. A few hours later, I got notified he’d screen-shot the post and added it to his story. That weekend, he reposted it in his news feed and tagged me.
If you’re expecting to hear I added 5000 new followers, or got my first batch of new clients ... I’m happy to disappoint you. Those new “followers” would have been spambots, foreign nationals, or at best, people with only passing interest. That’s just not the way things happen for me, and the lesson I learned was to get comfortable with the slow and steady.
Depending on how this plays out, you might discover (as I have) there aren’t any “Dream Connections”: there are only real connections.
