by Paul Edwards
Hey, are you coming to Vancouver in May? I’m thinking of setting up a mastermind dinner and want to see if you’re interested. Let me know and I’ll keep you posted.
You might read that and think, “That’s not too big of a bite to swallow,” but I’ll tell you categorically that nobody responded when I spelled it all out. Social media has its uses. However, acquiring an audience of any size – especially one comprised of people who go the distance – takes more finesse than a couple of clicks with a mouse. I guarantee it.
CHAPTER 7
The Curator
(Focusing on the Outcome)
Are we in an entirely new age? Look around. I mean “an entirely new age” in the same way people living in the Renaissance would look back at the Middle Ages, or those in the Industrial Revolution would recall the Enlightenment. We aren’t simply in a new decade, or even a new century. We’re in a new age.
The mistake I made in becoming a curator was – you guessed it – not curating. It never occurred to me to get very specific about my ideal client or target business relationship. I was fortunate to have several of them fall into my lap. If you’d asked me, though, I couldn’t have told you why they were ideal. I wish having those relationships would’ve stopped me from wasting time chasing business from anyone else.
I stayed on the traditional route for a long time with networking. I thought, if the day came that it didn’t yield what I needed, I simply needed to do … more networking! In the meantime, I just needed to be an “alpha networker” who showed up consistently, took leadership roles and helped facilitate groups. (That all works, by the way. But it has a ceiling).
After three years, I’d had enough. My friend Alan Shimamoto, who founded the IN Team networking group, invited me to their meetings. Several other members also invited me. They began in October of the previous year, but I didn’t go, waiting until the spring of 2017 before giving in.
This wasn’t because I hated networking. Nor was it because I thought Alan and the gang were doing a lousy job. I just knew I’d done everything I could for three solid years and seen no acceleration or ascendancy in business. All that awaited me at the IN Team was … more of the same.
I got plenty of referrals while I was in the group. I enjoyed attending it. I gave presentations and spoke regularly to promote my book. The landscape of my life was shifting, however, and declining interest and energy for traditional networking was the clearest sign.
In marketing, we’ve now covered two extremes in the past 70 years. In the postmodern era, which you could bookend roughly between 1948 and 2000, we relied heavily on being “told” what was popular, desirable, superior and so forth. Networks and media outlets controlled what was published and accessible. I would borrow the business management term “Waterfall” to describe the system – guidance, information, products and trends cascading from the top.
The democratization of media in the age of the internet took us to the opposite end of the spectrum. You could say reality TV, e-commerce and the proliferation of everything into websites and digital presence glutted the marketplace with information. So much information, in fact, that we began to seek shelter.
In the last decade, the noise increased - as the Age of Information began to embed itself so deeply in our daily lives, we hungered for the ability to switch it off. While glad of technological advances and improvements to our standard of living, many in the Western world exhausted themselves of tech’s relentlessness.
Overloaded with content and endless choices, demand resurged for The Curator. Webster’s defines a “curator” as “a keeper or custodian of a museum or other collection,” and secondarily, “a person who selects acts to perform at a musical festival.” Both definitions, in a figurative sense, describe The Curator in relationship-building. You must have an artist’s appreciation for and skill to create fine content and discern what you cross-promote when offering free publicity for other entrepreneurs. On the other hand, you must hand-pick allies, including them discreetly for the right opportunities, times and settings to meet the right people.
Radically Generous Entrepreneurs, by training if not by nature, are curators. They place a dollar figure on an hour of their time, and that of everyone they know. When someone approaches them to seek counsel or intimacy, they are generous with it – but it will not take them long to determine what they’re giving it away for!
The reverse is also true – when a Radically Generous Entrepreneur meets someone, they don’t rush straight at people with introductions or recommendations. Meaningful and informative conversation guides them on inviting others to share in who or what they know. This isn’t because they’re “better” than people they meet, but they are different. They don’t give something valuable, even to the right person, before it’s the appropriate time and setting.
Why Standard Business Networking No Longer Does the Trick
The vitality and usefulness of things usually begin to show their shelf lives when “concepts” and “ideas” become products and labels. There was a time when rhetoric like “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” served to explain much. The word “networking” once had a lot of sizzle to it, like something you couldn’t do unless you had the gift of gab.
Once the marketplace thoroughly embraced these things, they became hackneyed and stale. Familiarity, as they say, breeds contempt. There was plenty of this to go around when I entered the insurance business. Despite my best efforts to make networking an attractive vehicle, I couldn’t change perceptions (or realities) of it in people’s minds.
Much like the coffee shop went from a scarce novelty to being something our culture can’t live without, the networking group is now assumed in business communities of any size. Civic clubs, Chambers of Commerce, Business Networking International, and other independent groups all carry it forward.
These groups are great opportunities for small business owners and brand-new entrepreneurs. In a genial business community like Olympia, all kinds of value changes hands between people who know each other. I wanted to go beyond that level. I’d tasted higher success in some of the stories I’ve shared; I wanted to see where it could take me. There had to be more to this. Whatever way it took shape, I knew it would lead to new rooms full of new people quite removed from the “same old, same old.”
Luis Uribe
I met Luis as he pivoted away from fitness into media consulting for entrepreneurs. He’d grown fascinated with what makes content rise and fall on social media. It’s a point of confusion for marketers - discovering, often by accident, why audiences respond. We talked about this in an interview.
Our chat led to a discussion of curating people as much as content. Like good and bad content, prospective members will “scroll” right past a mastermind with a bunch of phony, self-interested, pushy salespeople. In the 21st-century, one of the most useful traits of technology is that it tells us, with empirical data, what people really value.
On Instagram, Luis advises clients to present “congruence” in their images and messages. “When I first meet clients, their Instagram feeds are all over the place,” he said. “It’s an assault on the human eye, and a very effective way of steering people away rather than toward your content.”
One subtlety he mentioned is the preference for authentic video, juxtaposed with professional still shots in the news feed. “Put a professionally produced video up there, and people will scroll right past it,” he said. “You can save those for Instagram story and IGTV features. But put a video that looks raw and homemade, and IG users gobble it up.”
Conversely, “authentic” still shots that lack a photographer’s eye for composition, angle, background and lighting get short shrift … but beautifully produced, artistic photos with eye-catching expression still work magic.
Expressions of proportion, beauty, symmetry and congruence – mixed with raw, real, vulnerable and homemade interactive moments. What does the popularity of these elements tell us about the Instagram aud
ience, or about humanity at large? How should it influence the membership of a mastermind?
If you’re in the Business Beyond Business mindset, you’ve probably put words to it. Human beings naturally seek equilibrium, symmetry, balance, order and beauty. Subconsciously, in our souls, these things communicate messages we desperately need to hear: “All is well.” “Everything will be fine.” “Summer’s coming.” “Your Father is here.”
Amongst ourselves, raw and vulnerable videos are powerful. We’re aware of our emptiness, weakness, failure and folly. We need hope to move beyond it, and videos of this kind bring their own reassurances: “You aren’t alone.” “Welcome to the club.” “This has happened before, and it will happen again … and it’s going to be okay.” “Been there, done that … and I have a story to share.”
Luis believes the “Instagram Influencer” bubble won’t hold. Its best-kept secrets are protected by subtle misdirection from the people who know them. “A lot of these (social media advisers) teach their customers, ‘Post three times a day, include hash tags, set up a schedule, etcetera,’” he said. “But if you look closely at how influencers themselves are growing their following, that’s not how it’s done.” A classic Pharisaical dodge.
This helped me walk away from the glitzy concept of getting likes, comments and shares. I’m not insinuating that all of what we see on social media is bogus. Good content tends to get those things; it’s just that hardly any of it amounts to the whole truth. Trying to build a connecting mastermind off the whimsical, fleeting interaction of digital media sites is putting the cart before the horse. Paying someone to gaslight it with crowdsourced engagement from Third World users will not bring new, valuable people to your inner circle.
The Handpicked Few
The Beyond Business Mastermind is different. There’s a process to enter, and a laundry list of factors I consider in assessing if someone fits the bill. One dead end I never escaped with insurance was not understanding how specific I needed to get to grow the boutique clientele I wanted.
Whether this makes sense to you or not, you can still observe the demographics of the best people who gravitate toward you. Because I did focus on building relationships with my strongest clients and allies, I knew their commonalities.
The occupation was usually entrepreneur/business owner. They typically shared my faith and philosophy. They valued relationships and meaningful interaction. They were drawn toward my soldier’s mindset. They were family men and women, usually happily married with children. They were community-minded and generous. Many of them were fellow veterans or related to people in martial occupations like law enforcement and security. It wasn’t difficult to call myself “The Business Owner’s Personal Agent” and adopt the mission statement: “Connecting People. Protecting People.”
Evolving into masterminds dovetailed with this client avatar, but it needed further modification. That led to conversations with entrepreneurs and business leaders in the Kingdom of God. In turn, I realized I needed to specifically target men and women of faith. While we include and open the group to people who are not practicing Christians, I observed the people likeliest to agree with our philosophy are deeply embedded in surrendered, disciplined Christian life. The radical generosity of Jesus Christ can form a sharp divide, when the expectation for membership is to emulate it.
Curiosity Doesn’t Kill This Cat
Among the top characteristics I look for in candidates is curiosity. With our collective distaste for shallow business relationships, it’s as bad for retention as it is for new business to have people who don’t want to deal at an intimate level. I found Dean Graziosi’s expression “Seven Levels Deep” an adequate phrase to express this.
People who join almost always take an answer to one intelligent question as a springboard to another … until they reach that magical “seventh level” where they’re speaking from one heart to another. Vulnerability is a staple of our mastermind. If you can’t feel safe where there’s no condemnation, how will you stomach business with the world where there is condemnation?
False Sense of Urgency
Here’s another necessity brought on by the spiritual plague of our age: turning down people who come rushing into relationship. It’s a counterintuitive sales strategy. It takes a lot of rehearsals to do it. A prospect gets on the phone or Zoom to interview for the mastermind and says, “You don’t need to sell me. Where do I sign and how much do you need?”
To reply, “I’m not selling anything, and there’s no signature or payment yet. This is just the first interview” flies in the face of everything sales trainers teach. Maybe this is foolishness. What I’ve found is that people on both polar ends of the sales spectrum are rarely a good fit.
Either there’s no sense of urgency - which usually means they don’t see the value of what we do at all. Or, there’s a false sense of urgency - which means they’re expecting “plug-and-play” instruction manuals for the right buttons to push to make dollars come out. You run the risk of getting people who march into a group with their own ideas, formulas and “most expedient” ways of doing things. These people often find our philosophy and pace “counterproductive.” Other groups may not have an issue with this; it’s not what we want.
Plenty of mastermind groups advertise to cater to that fleshly urgency. I know of some that can deliver on their promise. I suppose there’s something to be said for the speed of implementation dictating who gets the lion’s share of the market. To hearken back to Ted Kallman, however, I’d rather be effective than efficient. When something is effective, I want to double down. When something is merely efficient, I’d rather invest energy in making it effective.
We’re the group that guarantees quick failures for get-rich-quick personalities … and we don’t charge for it! You don’t waste a penny of your scarce time and resources because of our vetting process. If you get past it and your get-rich-quick personality starts to show, we refund 100% of your money and part ways as amicably as you allow.
The Utter Relief of Selflessness
My mentor-from-afar John Eldredge wrote a book called “The Utter Relief of Holiness,” which I borrowed and altered slightly. Relationships are so much easier to build when you simply don’t allow yourself to think of yourself while building them. Members must understand this principle to a tee, and from several directions at once.
You must be selfless enough to admit when you don’t know the answer and don’t have a solution, for someone else or yourself. You must be selfless enough to eschew shallow, hasty introductions or connections just to expedite conversation so you can attend to more interesting matters.
You must be selfless enough to participate in the generous group endeavors. These are things we do while assembled that receive no publicity. They’re distributed liberally without regard to merit or performance. As your reward for all of this, you get hours - sometimes, days - of uninterrupted time with the highest-caliber people you’ll meet. Moreover, they are matched with you precisely because I know you personally and we’ve already gone “seven levels deep” in researching you for the group.
The Outcome of Sidelining the Income
I love Times Square in New York City. I’ve only been there a few times, but I have fond memories. In 2001, just after the awful events of September 11, I went there for the first time with my sister, Tamrah. We were in the prime of youth, discovering and wandering with the breeze. I enjoyed it immensely.
Seventeen years later, Cameron Hall and I strolled south from Times Square after eating dinner. We were still processing the information download of another Vince Del Monte mastermind meeting. As we neared Madison Square Garden, Cam said to me, “I’d really like to find more groups of guys like us – believers, husbands, fathers – and maybe with some guys looking to improve their fitness or nutrition.”
I was already negotiating with Patrick Antonucci from the Dad Hackers Mastermind – a new influencer with a pastoral background and teacher’s heart – to appear on
one of his mastermind meeting calls. Using an introductory email format Craig Ballantyne shared with us over the weekend, I connected the two men. It bridged the gap, and a bond formed. Soon afterward, Cam wrote to say he’d struck up good relations with Patrick, and they were planning to feature Cam on one of the next mastermind calls. The target audience, the ideal product, genuine hearts. Business Beyond Business.
Around the same time, my first physique competition approached – the 2019 OCB South Sound Classic in Tacoma. My coach, Tammy Colbert, was looking for sponsors – specifically bodybuilding-related sponsors like supplement and nutrition stores. I took some copies of her business card and gave them to the people I’d made friends with at Lacey Total Nutrition and the Tumwater GNC store. A few days later, Tammy had sponsors. The target audience, the ideal product, with genuine hearts in Tammy and in Felicia, the GNC store manager. Business Beyond Business.
Patrick exposed me to his following. Tammy sponsored me as a competitor in the South Sound Classic and invited me to flex for their next calendar photo shoot. No one made direct personal income from any of these exchanges, but everyone’s lives and businesses were improved. Business Beyond Business.
This is what makes our mastermind unique. Some members currently earn fortunes, others aren’t there yet – but everyone gives and receives, enriches and gets enriched. We focus on the outcome of not getting fixated on income – the “outcome” being the inevitable goodness of bringing dynamic and determined people together. That’s what lies at the center of becoming The Curator.
CONCLUSION
Congratulations on reaching the end of this book. If the phrase “This Book Is Not for You” weren’t copyrighted, I would have used it because this book isn’t for most people; it’s for the right people. The chances are you are one of them if you’re reading this part. Let’s hearken back to those three first principles, and at this point, you may be able to see why so few people follow through on it:
