Her heart fluttered in her breast. What a fine specimen of manhood. She hurried back inside and pushed a few tendrils of hair behind her ears. “I’ve got the coffee on,” she said the moment he entered.
“Thanks, I bought a loaf of bread in town, save you making any.”
“Good, I’ve still got butter left. Would you like me to cook you something?”
“No, the bread will be enough. After the funeral the doctor invited us back to his place for coffee.”
“Oh?”
“Cake and cookies, too. It was kind of him, took the edge off my hunger. I’ve decided to finish off what you started.”
“So I won’t do it?” She stood with her hands on her hips. “I’m quite capable….”
“I know you are, but it’s not a woman’s work.”
“Lots of women do it.”
“Not my woman.”
The words stopped the retort springing to her lips. She didn’t know whether it was the words or the tone of voice, which stilled her tongue. She poured out the coffee and took it to the table and cut a couple of slices off the fresh loaf.
“How many slices?”
“Two will do.”
She cut a slice for herself then buttered them all. “It feels really fresh,” she said, wondering why she was gabbling on. “I was thinking I might take a bath.”
“Are you asking me to join you?” He grinned.
Her cheeks burned. “N….no.”
“Ah, frightened I might peek?” He laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay away. Do you want me to bring extra water in?”
“Thanks.” She touched his hand. “I don’t like to ask you this when you’re so busy, but could you raise the sides of Alice’s cradle?”
He pursed his lips.
“She’s starting to roll around now, and can almost sit up on her own.”
“I’ve been noticing that.”
“I’m scared she might topple out of the cradle. I don’t mean straight away, just within the next couple of weeks when you’ve got time. Our little Alice is growing.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
After Logan left for the garden, Jemma placed two pots of water on the stove to heat. Because it was warm outside she wouldn’t need it to be hot. While she waited for the water to heat she collected clean underwear. She would have to put her dress back on for today at least, tomorrow she would wear the new one she had made from the material Logan had bought her.
It was sheer heaven lying in the hip bath with the warm water soothing her aching back and arms. She washed her hair and let it dangle over the edge of the bath to dry.
The bandages on her palms had worked well, her fingers, which had been exposed were slightly reddened, not blistered thank goodness. She would have liked to have stayed in the tub for much longer, but couldn’t in case Logan came back and caught her.
What would he look like naked? Such wanton thoughts spread heat all over her body. Hastily glancing around, she stood, reached for a towel to cover her nakedness and dashed inside to dress.
Alice started making cooing noises and flapping her arms and legs. Jemma laid a blanket on the floor, well away from the stove and the door, so Logan wouldn’t step on her when he came inside. She lifted the baby out of the cradle and laid her on her back. Almost immediately she rolled on to her stomach.
Jemma drained the water off the meat, chopped it into small chunks and placed it with the vegetables to slowly cook for supper. She had noticed a small hole in Logan’s drawers when taking them off the line, also a couple of his socks needed darning.
As she sewed she watched Alice who had almost rolled herself half way across the blanket. She was becoming more mobile with every passing day, stronger too, now she was eating a few mouthfuls of thin porridge, as Logan called it. In the next few days she was going to try her on sloppy mashed up vegetables to see how it went.
Logan arrived home at dusk. She couldn’t decide whether it was instinct or coincidence he always seemed to appear just as supper was ready.
“How are my two gals going?”
“Good, how did the gardening go?”
“I finished it off, so in the next day or so I’m going to plant some seeds. Onions and corn are my most favored ones at the moment. I’ve already got seeded potatoes in the barn. “
“Supper is ready.”
“I know, I could smell it. I’ll just wash up.”
He returned outside and came back a few minutes later, his face and hands clean, his hair damp. Probably dunked his head in the water bucket she surmised. Another thing which made Logan appealing – he was clean. A couple of men who worked at the Foster ranch wouldn’t wash for days on end. She used to hate going anywhere near them because they smelled so bad.
Logan stepped over to the cradle to play with Alice, holding the rattle close, then pulling it away as she made a grab for it. “Pa will have to make you more toys now you’re getting such a big, clever gal.”
She hit him on the cheek with the rattle.
“Ouch, that hurt.”
Alice gurgled happily in Logan’s presence. Jemma couldn’t stop a twinge of jealousy and hated herself for it.
Later, after they had eaten, Jemma went to rise from the table.
“No, we need to talk.” Logan stilled her with his hand.
“Oh?”
“I want to know what you told Max. Don’t worry, he didn’t break any confidences, just said we needed to talk, once and for all.”
Jemma felt like she was standing on a hangman’s platform with a rope around her neck, waiting to drop. “All right, I’ll tell you everything on one condition.”
“What is it?”
“You promise to hear me out and not interrupt until I’ve finished, no matter how badly you want to.”
He hesitated. “I promise.”
“You’re not going to like this.”
“Please, Jemma, just get on with it.”
“It was my fault Alice died.”
The color drained from his face, leaving it ghostly white. His hands clenched into fists on the table.
She went on to tell him the whole tragic, wretched story. Once the words started flowing, they wouldn’t stop.
The expression on his face alternated between shock and horror.
He stood and she saw he was trembling. “I need to go for a walk.”
“I knew you would hate me.” Tears cascaded down her cheeks.
“I didn’t say I hated you, I just need to think things through.” He left the cabin leaving her distraught.
She knew he would despise her for what happened, although it had to come out. She couldn’t have lived with such a burden for much longer. Would he ask them to go? No, only her. He would fight to keep Alice.
Logan strode outside. He was shaking so much he almost dropped to his knees. Never in his wildest dreams would he have expected Jemma’s secret to be anything like this. And to think Daniel had played such a key role in the events.
Poor Alice had gone to have a nap and it had led to her death.
Hatred of Sebastian Foster gnawed at his gut like a famished dog. He wanted to grab the sonofabitch and shake him until his head fell off.
Then there was Jemma. Lied to, threatened and betrayed, then living with this torment for three long years. He couldn’t believe it. Tears burned at the back of his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them fall. His father had drilled into him, men never cried.
Jemma didn’t know her confession tonight had lifted some of the guilt he also carried. Marrying Alice one week, setting off on a cattle drive the next. He had thought he loved Alice, but now knew it was only affection. He had been lonely and wanted a woman, she had wanted a husband to take her away from the grinding poverty in which she’d lived. Had she not died they would have lived a happy enough life, but there would not have been any great passion.
He had known the grass around their cabin had been long and needed to be cut down, but hadn’t done it before he left. I never should have gone. T
oo late for recriminations now.
He had been given a chance to go forward with his life and take Jemma with him. They should forget the past and forge ahead with their future and with Alice, and in time a son or two. He should have stayed and comforted her, but he had to bury his own demons, leave the darkness of yesterday and come out into the light of today.
Jemma knew she had made a grave mistake confessing all to Logan. He had acted exactly as she had feared. She thrust a fist into her mouth to stop the cries of anguish from coming out in case they woke the baby.
Logan’s hatred was the hardest thing she had ever endured. He hadn’t said anything, but she had read the contempt in his eyes, felt the hatred bouncing off his body. He wouldn’t be back tonight. Next time she saw him would be in the morning when he told her she was no longer welcome under his roof. She couldn’t leave without Alice, but where could she go? Logan certainly wouldn’t give the baby up without a fight.
Exhaustion suddenly overwhelmed her. She climbed to her feet and stumbled over to her makeshift bed, changed into her nightgown and lay down to worry, fret and mourn for what she had already lost, and the greater loss that was soon to come. How much more can I bear?
“Jemma,” Logan called out her name.
“I’m lying down.”
He pushed the curtain aside, letting in the light from the stove.
“Have you come to tell me to get out?”
“No. I came to say I’m sorry for walking out like I did.”
“You are?” she asked incredulously. Maybe she had fallen asleep and was dreaming this.
“I love you, Jemma.”
She shot up in the bed, pulling her legs up under her chin, keeping them there by wrapping her arms around them.
He hovered for a moment beside her.
“Logan, I….”
“Let me finish. You see, I’ve carried around the burden of guilt for Alice’s death, too. If I’d been there she wouldn’t have died.”
“How do you know that?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I would have cut back all the dry grass. What kind of man gets married then a week later leaves his bride to go off for a couple of months?”
“A man who wants to support his wife. You can’t blame yourself for a tragedy which has ruined so many lives.” She couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth even though they were true. She had never thought he might be weighed down by guilt.
Annabelle Foster had got what she deserved, and hopefully her father would eventually get his as well.
“We both need to put the past behind us. I’m asking you again, Jemma. Will you marry me?”
Her heart filled with joy. “I love you, Logan, and yes, I’d be proud to become your wife.”
“No more recriminations, darlin’.”
“No more recriminations.”
He leaned over to kiss her. What was meant to be a chaste kiss, quickly turned into a thing of passion, she tasted so sweet. He couldn’t let her go and return to the barn just yet. Only a few more kisses he thought. Automatically his hand slipped inside her nightgown and clasped her breast, his thumb caressing her nipple. She didn’t pull away, but pressed into him, her mouth opening to receive his thrusting tongue.
Heat spiraled all the way through him. He groaned into her mouth and tried to pull away. She wouldn’t let him go, her arms were locked around his waist.
When she finally pulled away it was to pull her nightgown up over her head.
Jemma heard Logan’s gasp of shock. She was behaving like some wanton saloon gal, but she wanted Logan right here and now. Needed him with such intensity she couldn’t stand to be denied.
His kiss deepened, and his caressing was all she had imagined it would be. She wanted more, and by the feel of his body he did, too.
She unbuttoned his shirt and he shrugged out of it. When her tongue came out to encircle his nipple he trembled.
“We….” Her mouth cut off his words. Her hands went to his belt buckle. No power on earth could stop them from having what they both so desperately wanted. Finally, they lay sated in each other’s arms.
“Maybe we should move up into my bed, we’ll be more comfortable there.” His voice was still husky from their lovemaking.
The next morning they drove into Trails End to see the preacher.
“How do you know he’ll marry us on such short notice?” she asked.
“Because he as good as said so.”
“When?” In her new sprigged cotton dress she felt attractive and Logan had been lavish in his praise.
“While I was at the funeral, Max asked how long did a man have to book ahead to get hitched. The preacher said just knock on my door and I’ll do it straight away if you’re a God fearing couple.”
“Are we a God fearing couple” Her cheeks burned. “I mean, after last night?”
He laughed. “I think so. I won’t tell if you don’t.”
They stopped near Sam’s place to feed Alice. She wasn’t crying with hunger, but Jemma wanted to make sure her little belly was full when they arrived in town.
Logan pulled the wagon up under a shady tree.
“I don’t see any livestock,” Jemma said.
“Max took care of everything. It’s not a bad little place. I don’t know what will happen to it now. Probably the government or the bank will take it.”
As soon as Alice had been fed and changed, they were on their way. Driving down the main street of Trail’s End, which was a typical western town, Jemma noticed the interested looks being cast their way, well her way really. She smiled and nodded, not knowing what else to do.
Logan stopped the wagon outside a building, which had a sign saying ‘Sheriff.’ “I’ll go in and tell Max we’re here, then he can come with us if he wants to. No point disturbing Alice.” He leapt down from the wagon and strode off.
A couple of minutes later, the two men appeared. Max came up to her and swept off his hat. “So you told him?”
“Yes, Sheriff, I….”
“I told you to call me Max.”
“Yes, you did, Max. Thanks to you we sorted everything out.”
“Good, well let’s get this marrying done. Meet you at the preacher’s place. It’s the white house next to the church. Oh, and I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“What is it?” Logan asked.
“I’m not telling you yet.”
It only took a couple of minutes to drive to the pretty white house with blue window shutters. The church itself was also painted white, perfectly plain except for the arched door and windows.
Logan pulled the wagon up on the grassed area between the church and the house. He leapt from his seat and lifted Jemma down. By the time he got Alice, Max was striding toward them.
“Right,” Max said. “Ready to do the deed?”
“Yeah.”
Logan grinned at Jemma who felt hot all over. Surely Max couldn’t possibly know they had…. No of course not.
It was Max who knocked on the door. A tall, slightly stooped elderly man opened it, and encompassed them all in a benign smile.
“Well, I brought Logan and Jemma to you like I promised.”
“When did you promise?” Logan asked, changing Alice from one arm to the other.
“After you left yesterday, Preacher Sadler and I had a long talk.”
“Come inside, I need to get some information, then we can begin. And who is this little cherub?” He smiled at Alice.
“I told you about her,” Max said. “She’s Jemma’s daughter and Logan’s niece.”
The room they were shown to was comfortably furnished, the only religious symbol Jemma could see was a large painting of The Last Supper, hanging over the fireplace.
“Would you like me to baptize the baby while we’re here?”
“She’s already been done. Daniel, my late husband, insisted on it.”
Logan’s eyebrows rose in query although he remained silent.
It was all over in ten minutes, Ma
x and Preacher Sadler’s wife acted as witnesses and Jemma was now Mrs. Logan McGregor in the eyes of the church as well as the law. Logan gave her a chaste kiss, but his blazing eyes promised much more when they arrived home.
“We’ll go to the diner for lunch,” Max said.
“Thank you, but Jemma and I….”
“Don’t argue,” Max said. “I’m paying. Besides, I’ve got something important to show you.” He turned to Jemma. “If you need privacy to feed the baby, Kate has a room you could use.”
“Thank you for all your kindness.”
“Anything for a beautiful gal. Meet you at the diner.” He walked off, a jaunty spring to his step.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with Max, he’s acting real strange.”
“Maybe he likes weddings.”
“Men don’t like weddings,” Logan scoffed.
“He told me he was once engaged, but the woman married someone with more money.”
“Really?”
Alice had been awake all this time gazing around with her big blue eyes. So like Daniel’s. Jemma felt a twinge of sorrow. He wouldn’t mind that Logan had married her and become a father to Alice.
At the door of the diner Jemma met and instantly liked Kate.
“So you got yourself married.” She dug Logan in the ribs. “And this little angel is?”
“Alice,” Jemma said. “She’s Logan’s….”
“Max told me about you losing your husband. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, Kate.”
“Now, you’ll be having your usual beef steak, Logan?”
“Yes.” He grinned. “You need to try Kate’s beef steak, best I ever tasted. And better still Max offered to pay.”
They all laughed.
Logan hadn’t exaggerated, Kate’s beef steak was delicious, as was the potato mash and greens. It was nice to eat something she hadn’t cooked herself. Alice even took a few mouthfuls of the potato, thinned down almost to a liquid form by the gravy.
After they finished eating, Kate brought out hot, fragrant coffee.
Logan (Bachelors And Babies Book 2) Page 13
