“I swerved to miss a rock and hit...the embankment. It was already snowing and I...the song... I changed stations and that’s when it happened... I don’t know what I did, but after I turned so sharply, the truck wouldn’t start.”
“I’ve got to get you to the house.” He half carried her to his truck and placed her in the passenger seat. He climbed into the driver’s side and leaned over to wrap a warm blanket around her, then began to rub some warmth back into her hands.
“What about Dad’s truck?” Kate asked, shocked by how tired and weak she felt.
“We’ll worry about that later. I’ll send someone to fix it when the storm’s over.”
The blast from the heater felt like a tropical wind and Kate finally started to relax. She was terribly cold but dared not let Luke know.
All the way back to the ranch he didn’t say a word. Driving was difficult, and she didn’t want to disturb his concentration. So she sat beside him, her hands and feet numb despite the almost oppressive warmth, and her eyes heavy with weariness.
Several of the ranch hands ran toward the front porch when Luke pulled into the yard. Kate found the flurry of activity all centered on her disconcerting, but she tried to thank everyone and apologized profusely for the concern she’d caused.
If Luke had been impatient and demanding when he rescued her, it didn’t compare to the way he rapped out orders once she was inside the house.
“A bath,” he said, pointing toward the bathroom as if she’d never been there before. “Warm water, not hot.”
Bill Schmidt, Luke’s newly appointed foreman, followed them to the doorway of the tiny room, looking pale and anxious. Kate felt so weak that she simply stood, leaning against the sink, while Luke ran the bathwater, testing it several times to check the temperature.
“It’s stopped snowing. Do you think I should contact one of her female friends? Maybe Miz Franklin?” Bill asked, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. When Luke nodded, Bill charged out of the house, slamming the door behind him.
Luke turned off the bathwater and straightened. He shook his head, arms limp and at his sides, mouth stern and tight. “Kate, Kate, what could have possessed you to drive in from town during the worst storm of the year? Can you imagine what went through my mind when I was looking for you?”
It took all her strength just to manage a few words. “How’d...you know...where I was?”
“You told me you were going to town to look at an apartment on Saturday. Remember? When you weren’t back after the blizzard hit, I called around town until I learned you were renting one of the apartments on Spruce Street. Mrs. Jackson told me she’d warned you herself and that you’d left a few hours earlier. Also that she’s fond of April because of all the flowers, whatever the hell that means.”
“I’m...sorry I worried you.”
His hands gripped her shoulders and the anguish he’d endured during the past few hours was written plainly on his face. The anger and pain in his eyes told her about the panic he’d felt. A rush of emotion crossed his expression and he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.
He didn’t speak for a long moment. Instead, quietly, gently, he stroked her hair as he dragged in several deep breaths.
Kate’s heart pounded wildly in her chest. She longed to look at him, to gaze into his eyes again. She was puzzled by the intensity she’d seen there. Fear, yes, doubt and anger, too, but there was something more, something deeper that she didn’t recognize.
She longed to tell him she loved him, just the way he claimed she did, but the thought didn’t make it to her lips. Love was a strange, unpredictable emotion, so painful and difficult. Her eyes held his and she tried to smile, but her mouth wouldn’t cooperate.
Her fingertips mapped out the lines of his face, as she strove to reassure him with her touch when her words couldn’t. He captured her wrist and brought her palm to his lips.
She’d just opened her mouth to speak, when Bill Schmidt came crashing into the room. “Rorie Franklin will be over as soon as she can.”
“Thanks, Bill,” Luke said without looking away from Kate.
“Uh, I’ll be leaving now, if you don’t need me.”
“Fine. Thanks again for your help.”
“No problem. Glad you’re all right, Kate.” He touched his hat and then was gone.
“Someone should help you out of those clothes,” Luke said, half smiling, “and I don’t think I should be the one to do it.”
“I’m fine. I can undress myself.”
Luke didn’t seem inclined to challenge her statement. She floated toward the bathroom door and ushered him out, then shut it softly.
Once she started undressing, she discovered that Luke hadn’t been too far wrong when he’d suggested she needed help. By the time she sank into the warm water, she was shivering, exhausted and intensely cold again. But the water felt wonderful, although it stung her tender skin. When the prickling sensation left her, she was almost overwhelmed by the sensation of comfort. She sighed deeply, closed her eyes and lay back in the tepid water.
“Kate,” Luke called from the other side of the door, “are you okay in there?”
“I’m fine.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No,” she assured him.
A sudden thought made her bolt upright, gasping. Luke could have died searching for me. She closed her eyes and whispered a prayer of thanks that the events of this traumatic afternoon had turned out as they had.
She must have sobbed because Luke called out, “What’s wrong? It sounds like you’re crying.”
“You...could have died trying to find me.”
“I didn’t.”
“I know,” she said hoarsely, biting her lip. “I’m glad. I wouldn’t want you to die.”
“That’s encouraging,” he answered with a soft laugh.
Dressed in her flannel pyjamas and long robe, her hair hanging wetly against her shoulders, Kate let herself out of the bathroom. She looked like something the cat had proudly dragged onto the porch, but at least she felt better. A thousand times better.
Luke was sitting in the kitchen, nursing a shot glass of whiskey. Kate had very rarely seen Luke drink straight liquor.
“I blame myself,” he muttered. “I knew about the storm and didn’t warn you.”
“Warn me? That wouldn’t have made any difference. I would’ve gone into town anyway. I had to be there before noon if I was going to get the apartment. You couldn’t have stopped me, Luke. You know that.”
Luke shook his head grimly. “What I can’t understand is why moving away from here is so all-fired important that you’d risk your fool neck to do it.”
“Mrs. Jackson said she’d have to give the apartment to someone else if I wasn’t there.”
“She wouldn’t have understood if you’d phoned? You had to go look at it in a blizzard?” He urged her into a chair and poured a cup of hot coffee, adding a liberal dose of whiskey before handing her the cup.
“I already told you I couldn’t wait. Besides, it wasn’t snowing when I drove there,” Kate said patiently. “Please don’t be angry, Luke.” She reached for his hand, needing to touch him.
He clutched her fingers with his own. “Kate, if anything should convince you we ought to get married, this is it. You need me, Princess, can’t you see that?” He released her hand to brush the damp curls from her forehead. “How many times do I have to tell you that before you’ll believe it?”
“Oh, Luke,” she moaned, feeling close to tears.
“I want to take care of you, Kate. What nearly happened today, plus the fiasco with Eric Wilson, should tell you something.”
She stared at him, feeling lost and disoriented. “There are women in this community, women my age, who already have children.” Even as she spoke, she
knew she wasn’t making sense.
Luke blinked in confusion. “You want children? Great, so do I. In fact, I’m hoping we’ll have several.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Kate said, exasperated. She tried again. “These women don’t live with a guardian.” Was that clearer? she wondered.
“Of course they don’t—they’re married,” Luke countered sharply.
Kate shut her eyes. “Don’t you understand? I’m old enough to be on my own. I don’t need someone to protect me.”
“We’re not discussing your age.”
“You don’t love me,” she blurted. “You feel sorry for me, that’s all. You think because Clay’s married to Rorie and...and Dad married Dorothea that I don’t have anyone. But I do! There’s Linda and lots of other friends. I’ve got a good life. I don’t need to get married.”
Luke sprang from the chair and walked to the sink, pressing both hands against the edge, hunching his shoulders, his back toward her. He said nothing for several minutes and when he finally spoke, his voice was cool, detached. “All I can say is that you must feel a lot more strongly about this than I realized. Apparently you’re willing to risk your life to get away from me.”
“I didn’t go to town knowing I was in any danger,” she objected, but he didn’t seem to hear.
“Then leave, Kate. I won’t try to keep you any longer, despite the fact that I love you and want to marry you. If you want your independence so badly, then take it.”
“Luke, please, you don’t love me—not the way you should.”
“Oh, and what do you know about that? Obviously nothing.”
“I know you keep saying you want to take care of me.”
“That’s so wrong?”
“Yes! A woman needs more. She needs to be an equal. She—”
“My love and my life are all I’ve got to offer you, Kate,” he broke in. “It’s a take-it-or-leave-it proposition.”
“That’s not fair,” she said. “You make it sound as though I’m going to live my life alone if I don’t marry you within the next ten minutes.”
Slowly he turned to face her. His eyes were piercing and as dark as she’d ever seen them. “Fine. You’ve made your choice. I’m not going to stand here arguing with you. It’s over, Kate. This is the last time we’ll talk about marriage.”
She tried to say something, but couldn’t think coherently. Even if she’d been able to work out her thoughts and give them voice, she doubted Luke was in any mood to listen. He avoided looking at her as he stalked out of the house.
A fire was blazing in the fireplace and Kate stretched out on the nearby sofa, intending to mull over Luke’s words. But her eyes felt as heavy as her heart, and almost as soon as she laid her head on the pillow, she was asleep.
* * *
Someone working in the kitchen stirred Kate to wakefulness, and when she glanced at her watch she was shocked to see that she’d slept for almost two hours.
Her heart soared when she thought it must be Luke. He’d been so angry with her earlier, although she supposed his anxiety about finding her in the snowstorm explained his attitude. She hoped they could clear the air.
But it wasn’t Luke. Instead, Rorie peered into the living room, her eyes concerned.
“I hope you don’t mind. Luke let me in.”
“You’re always welcome here, Rorie, you know that.”
“Bill Schmidt called with an incredible story about you being lost in the storm. I could hardly believe it. Clay drove me over as soon as he could, but to be honest I don’t know who was worse off—you or Luke.”
At the mention of his name, Kate lowered her gaze to the multicolored quilt spread across her lap. Idly she smoothed the wrinkles, trying not to think about Luke.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. I just have a headache.”
“A bad one from the look of you. I’ve never seen you this pale.”
Kate’s hands twisted the edge of the homemade quilt. “Luke was furious with me for going into town—I found an apartment, Rorie. He said it was over between us.” She began to cry. “He said he’d be glad when I was gone and that he’d...never bother me again.” By the time Kate had finished, her voice was reduced to a hoarse whisper.
“I see,” Rorie murmured.
“I don’t even recognize Luke anymore. We used to be able to talk to each other and joke together, but lately we can’t seem to discuss anything in a rational manner. I’ve tried, Rorie, I really have, but Luke makes everything so difficult.”
“Men have a habit of doing that.”
“I wanted to tell Luke about the night I had dinner with you and Clay and—” She stopped abruptly when she realized what she’d almost said.
“What about it?” Rorie coaxed.
“It’s just that I’d dreaded the evening because I was afraid of being with Clay again. I’m sorry, I don’t want to upset you, Rorie, but I loved Clay for a long time, and getting over him was much harder than I thought it would be. Until the night we were all together.” The words came rushing from her. “I saw Clay with you and I assumed I’d feel all this pain, but instead I felt completely free. You’re both so happy, and I knew, then and there, that I never loved Clay the way you do. True, I adored him for years, but it was more of an adolescent infatuation. Clay was part of my youth. When I understood all these things about myself, all these changes, I felt such hope, such excitement.”
“Oh, Kate, I’m so pleased to hear that.” A shy smile dented Rorie’s cheeks.
“I wanted to explain all this to Luke, but I never got the chance, and now it’s all so much worse. I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to talk to each other again.”
“Of course you will.”
“But he sounded so angry.”
“I’m sure that’s because of his concern for your safety.”
“I can’t talk to him,” Kate repeated sadly. “At least not yet and maybe not ever...”
“Yes, you will, and it’ll be sooner than you think,” Rorie said. “You won’t be able to break off all those years of friendship, and neither will he. He’ll be around in a day or two, ready to apologize for being so harsh. Just you wait and see.”
Kate shook her head. “You make it all seem so easy.”
“Trust me, I know it isn’t. When I think back to the way things went between Clay and me, I empathize all the more with what you’re going through now.”
Kate remembered the dark days following Clay’s visit to California. Neither Rorie nor Clay had ever told her what happened. Clay had gone to San Francisco, intending to bring Rorie back with him, and instead had returned alone.
“Maybe we need to get away from each other for a while,” Kate said. “Maybe if we aren’t in such close proximity, we’ll be able to sort out what we really feel for each other.”
“When are you moving to town?”
“Monday,” Kate said, looking at the cardboard boxes stacked against the opposite wall.
“Do you need help? Skip, Clay and I could easily lend a hand.”
“That would be wonderful.”
* * *
The rest of the weekend passed in a blur. Kate didn’t see Luke once. So much for Rorie’s assurances that he’d come by soon to talk everything out. Apparently he meant what he’d said.
Monday morning, when she was about to leave for school, Kate paused before she got into her car, deciding she should at least say goodbye to Luke before she moved out.
Luke wasn’t in the barn, but Bill Schmidt was.
“Good morning, Bill.”
“Howdy, Kate,” he said with a wide grin. “Glad to see there’s no ill effects from your accident.”
“None, thanks. Is Luke around?”
Bill settled his hands in the po
ckets of his bib overalls. “No. Thought you knew. He left yesterday afternoon for New Mexico to look at some new equipment. He won’t be back until Thursday.”
Ten
Kate was carrying the last of the cardboard boxes to the recycling bins outside the apartment building on Thursday evening when she saw Luke’s pickup turn onto Spruce Street. He came to a grinding halt at the curb, vaulted out of the cab and stood there scowling. His features were contorted, but for the life of her Kate couldn’t understand why he was so irritated. Didn’t he tell her to move? Wasn’t this what he wanted?
She was about to make her presence known, but before she could act, Luke brought his fist down on the bonnet. She heard the sound from where she was standing. It must have smarted because he rubbed his knuckles, gazing intently at the redbrick building. Then, tucking his hands in the back pockets of his jeans, he squared his shoulders and strode toward it. He stopped abruptly, then retreated to his truck. Opening the door, he balanced one foot on the side rail, as if he was about to leap into the cab.
Kate leaned forward on the tips of her toes and stretched out her hand to stop him. It took everything in her not to rush forward. She was afraid she’d burst into tears. Viewing Luke’s behavior had touched something deep within her.
If Luke had planned to drive away, he apparently changed his mind, because he slammed the door shut and resolutely faced the building again.
Knowing that the time to make her move was now, Kate casually turned the corner.
“Kate.”
“Luke,” she said, pretending surprise.
For a moment, Luke didn’t say a word. “I just got back to the ranch and discovered that the main house was empty. I thought you’d be there when I returned.”
“Mrs. Jackson said I could have the apartment Monday, and since Rorie, Clay and Skip were able to help me move, I couldn’t see any reason to delay.”
“You might’ve told me.”
Kate lowered her eyes, feeling a little guilty, since they’d parted on such unfriendly terms. “I tried, but you’d already left for New Mexico.”
“Bill did say you wanted to talk to me,” he conceded.
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