by King, Karen
‘Neither can I. But she saved Emma. I feel like I hate her but am grateful to her too,’ Lily confessed.
‘Do you think that Alicia falling down the stairs could have been an accident, like Maria said?’ Seb asked.
‘I don’t know.’ She took a sip from her coffee, as she mulled the question over. She was angry with Maria but now Emma was safe and she was calming down she had to admit that she couldn’t really believe that Maria would deliberately harm a child.
‘I’ve got a coffee for your dad too. Shall I take it in to him?’ Seb picked up a disposable cup of coffee.
Lily stood up. ‘I’ll take it.’
Her father was still sitting by the bed, holding Emma’s hand. He looked up as Lily came in. ‘You were right about Maria,’ he said. ‘You were right about her not being responsible for Emma’s disappearance too. I should have listened to you.’ He looked heartbroken.
‘I’m so sorry, Dad. I know how much you love Maria. This must be awful for you.’
The door opened and Seb popped his head around it. ‘The police are here. Do you want to talk to them or stay with Emma?’
Lily glanced at her little sister. She was still fast asleep and would be for a few hours yet. She was anxious to hear what the police had to say.
Gareth leant over and kissed Emma on the forehead. ‘I’ll be back soon, darling.’ Then he got to his feet.
Closing the door softly behind them, they went out into the corridor. Two police officers were talking to Seb.
‘Mrs Wright is back in the psychiatric unit and won’t be released for a very long time, if ever,’ one of the officers said. ‘I know that she has caused you a lot of distress, and if it wasn’t for the actions of her son and Mrs Metcalfe, Emma would have died. But she really is seriously mentally ill and the court will have to decide if she is responsible for her actions.’
Lily hated Maria being called Mrs Metcalfe, having the same name as her, Emma and their dad. She wished he had never married her. She should have tried harder to prevent it. She should have protected her little sister.
‘I understand that.’ Gareth looked grave. ‘And her son – is he facing any charges?’
‘Definitely. Simon has confessed to writing the threatening letters and assaulting and kidnapping Mrs Metcalfe. They are both serious crimes. Mrs Metcalfe has refused to testify against him but we have enough evidence without her testimony so will be sending the papers to the Crown Prosecution Service.’ The policewoman drew in a breath and looked compassionately at them. ‘I know it must be very hard for you to learn what Mrs Metcalfe did in the past, but she was very young, barely eighteen, and has served her time. She has always insisted it was an accident. And there is no doubt that she saved Emma’s life today.’
Could Maria be telling the truth? Lily wondered. Was Alicia’s death really a tragic accident?
59
Maria
It’s all so awful, Maria thought, a rock of guilt weighing her down. Emma could have died. Alicia had died. Anthony had killed himself, and Sarah’s and Simon’s lives had been ruined, all because of her. She had caused so much misery and suffering to them and now to Gareth, who she loved so dearly, and to Emma, Lily and Seb too. She picked up the photo of Ruth from the sideboard and looked at her dear, kind face.
‘I’m so sorry, Ruth. I wanted to look after them for you, not destroy them. Please forgive me.’ She kissed the photo, her eyes welling with tears, then put it back down.
How had she thought she could possibly atone for her part in that awful tragedy that had caused Alicia to die? How could she think that she deserved any happiness?
After being discharged from hospital she had spent the afternoon being questioned by police then waited hopefully for word from Gareth. None had come. She had phoned the hospital – Emma had woken up and was well, her family was with her. Thank God. So she had come to the house to pack her things, intending to leave before they all came home. She was the last person any of them would want to see.
She had booked into a hotel for a few days while she sorted herself out. If the story of her past hadn’t already been in the paper, it would be any day now. Everyone would know that she was responsible for a little girl’s death all those years ago. No one would believe it was an accident; they hadn’t back then and they wouldn’t now.
She closed her eyes. Even Chris, the man who she’d thought had loved her, the man Alicia had caught her in bed with, had thought she was guilty. Everyone, including her own parents and friends thought that she had deliberately pushed a little girl down the stairs and killed her, just so that no one would find out her dirty secret, that she was sleeping with a married man. No one had believed in her innocence. And now it was all happening again, like a horrible recurring nightmare. She would probably lose the clients at her salon, maybe go bankrupt. There was nowhere for her to go, and no one to turn to.
Once again she had to start her life over, reinvent herself, but this time she didn’t have Sue. And she had to walk away from Gareth, the love of her life. At least, thank God, she had managed to save Emma. If anything had happened to that little girl who she loved like she was her own, she didn’t know how she would have coped. No wonder Sarah had gone mad, and Joan and Simon hated her so much.
You’re not a murderer. Sue had told her to repeat those words to herself every day when she had been in the depths of despair in her early days in prison. Sue had believed her, and gradually many of the other women had too. Sue had saved her but there was no one to save her now.
Maria wrote a note to Gareth apologising for all the trouble she had brought upon them, for not being honest with him, assuring him that Alicia’s death had been an accident. She ended by saying that she loved him dearly but knew that he wouldn’t want anything more to do with her so was saving him the pain of having to tell her to go and was leaving while he was at the hospital. She placed the note by Ruth’s photo, took one last look around the room then walked out, with her suitcase, to the waiting taxi.
60
Lily
Emma was going to be fine, thank goodness. The hospital were keeping her in overnight as a precaution but she was awake and talking now. She told them how Mrs Wright had peered over the wall and asked Emma if she wanted to go for an ice cream with her mummy, that her mummy wasn’t dead. Emma had believed her, climbed on the chair and allowed Mrs Wright to help her over the wall then gone with her.
‘She kept saying that she was my mummy and she was sad when I said she wasn’t. I was crying to go home but she wouldn’t let me. Then I felt sleepy,’ she told them tearfully.
Mrs Wright hadn’t harmed her, thank goodness, although Emma had told them that she was very frightened. Gareth had gently explained that the woman was ill, her daughter had died and she had mistaken Emma for her. Then he gave her a warning that she should never ever go off with anyone no matter what they said.
‘I know, Daddy, but I thought I was going to see my first mummy.’ Emma sobbed. ‘I really wanted to see her.’
‘It’s okay, darling.’ Gareth gave her a big hug, then Lily hugged her too. Emma calmed down and asked for her second mummy – Maria.
‘She’s not here right now, darling,’ Gareth told her.
She was too young to be told the truth about everything that had happened but Lily knew that they would have to tell her at some point. It would be in all the papers. The neighbours, everyone would know. It was terrible. She felt sick thinking what could have happened to Emma.
Finally Emma fell asleep again and they all went home, knowing that Emma would sleep all night, intending to come back for her in the morning. Gareth was exhausted so Lily drove him home while Seb followed in Lily’s car. As they drove along the now dark streets, Lily’s mind was still racing, trying to take everything in. No one had seen Maria since she’d been taken to hospital and she wondered if her stepmother would be waiting for them when they got home, to try and convince them of her innocence. Did she believe her?
‘I’
ll see you both tomorrow,’ Gareth said as they pulled up outside the door.
Lily insisted on going in with him, just in case Maria was there, but the house was empty. Silent. She saw her dad look around and then his gaze rested on a white envelope propped up by the photo of Ruth they always kept on the dresser. ‘Gareth’ was written across the front of it. Maria had left him a note. Lily anxiously watched as Gareth picked up the envelope, sat down on the chair then opened it, slowly reading the contents.
‘Maria’s gone. She’s left me,’ he said flatly. He held out the note.
Lily stepped forward and took the note off him, a lump forming in her throat as she read the words written there.
She looked at the tears in her dad’s eyes and wrapped her arms around him. ‘I’m so sorry, Dad.’
She was, too, for all her dad had gone through. And part of her couldn’t help feeling sorry for Maria too. She had risked her life to save Emma. What if she was telling the truth, and she really had tripped all those years ago? Well, we’ll never know, she thought, but at least Emma is safe now.
61
Maria
A month later
It had been a difficult few weeks. Maria had phoned her staff to explain, promised them that Alicia’s death had been a terrible accident for which she would never forgive herself, and given them the chance to quit their jobs if they wanted to. Amanda had refused to take her call but – although they were shocked – Candice, Sophie and Olivia had stuck by her. Candice had even insisted on coming over to check on her and then offered to let her stay in her spare room until she sorted herself out. An offer which Maria had been touched, and grateful, to accept.
As Maria had dreaded, her story was all over the newspapers – but to her surprise, the reports also detailed how she had saved Emma’s life, and how she had spent her time in prison and the years since being released trying to atone for the dreadful thing she had done, which she had always insisted was an accident.
Maria had sent an email to her clients explaining everything, assuring them of her innocence but saying she would completely understand if they decided not to use the salon any more. Again, to her surprise, she only lost a couple of clients. The loyalty of them and her staff moved her to tears. She had intended to move right away and start all over again but now she decided to stay.
Candice had advised her, ‘You can’t keep running, Maria. You were a teenager, and if it really was a horrible accident, then you can’t let it ruin your life. It’s out there now but many people are giving you the benefit of the doubt because they know you’re a good person. Stay and face it.’
Maria had realised that she was right, so she had moved in with Candice and tried to rebuild her life. A life without Gareth and Emma.
* * *
A couple of weeks later the police came to see her and told her that Simon had given them a statement saying he now believed his sister’s death was a tragic accident. He said he’d been thinking about it since his mother had kidnapped Emma, about the way Maria had been with his mother, how kind she had been, how she had talked her down, and saved Emma; that it had reminded him of how kind she had been to them when they were children. She had loved them, he’d said, and he didn’t think she would have deliberately hurt Alicia. He remembered that there had been toys all over the landing and that Maria had lurched forward, which he had taken as a leap but could have been a trip; how in his distress as a child he’d thought Maria had pushed his sister, but now he wasn’t sure.
It was too late but Maria was grateful that he at least had doubts about the night that had haunted her for the past twenty-two years.
She was about to close the salon that evening when Gareth walked in. He looked pale, tired, thinner than she had last seen him.
‘Can I talk to you for a few minutes?’ he asked.
Candice and Olivia had been about to leave but they both stopped and looked over at her. She nodded. ‘You go, girls. It’s fine.’
When they were alone she turned to Gareth. ‘I guess you want a divorce? I won’t contest it, or claim anything, don’t worry.’
‘I haven’t come to discuss a divorce.’
His words stunned her. ‘You haven’t?’ She swallowed. What had he come for then? To shout at her? Tell her exactly what he thought of her?
He shook his head. ‘No, I’ve come to talk. I want you to tell me what happened that night all those years ago. I want to hear your side of the story.’
A film of tears blurred her eyes. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak until she had calmed herself down. Then she haltingly told him, her voice little more than a whisper, and stumbling over the words now and again, all about that awful evening. He listened without saying a word.
‘I promise you. I swear that I didn’t push Alicia. I loved her. I would never deliberately hurt her.’ She fumbled in her pocket for a tissue and dabbed her eyes, afraid to look at his face. ‘Even so, I destroyed their lives. And almost destroyed yours too. And Emma, she could have been killed.’ She let out a sob.
He reached out and put his finger under her chin, lifting it. ‘Look at me,’ he said softly. Hesitantly, she raised her eyes to his, scared of what she would see there. Hate. Contempt. She was stunned to see love. ‘I believe you. I believe it was an accident. So does Simon. The police told me. He said that he was sorry you were sent to prison.’
Tears were flowing down her face now. These were the words she had longed to hear for twenty-two years. ‘I deserved to go to prison. It was an accident, yes, but Alicia died because of me. I deserved to be punished but I hated everyone thinking I had done it deliberately, that I would be wicked enough to murder a child.’
She felt Gareth’s arm around her shoulder and leant against him. ‘You were so young to go to prison, and all because of a horrible accident. How did you cope?’
She closed her eyes, remembering those early months. ‘Alicia’s death and the trial, it destroyed me. My parents disowned me. I felt so guilty and worthless. Then I lost my baby.’ She opened her eyes, met his gaze. ‘I was pregnant with Chris’s baby, but I miscarried when I was in prison. There were complications; that’s why I can’t have any more children.’
‘Oh, Maria,’ he said softly.
‘When I was convicted I was a mess. I wanted to die. I felt that I had nothing to live for. Sue saved me.’
‘Sue? Your friend who died from cancer?’
‘Yes, she was one of the inmates, she was about my mum’s age. She took me under her wing, made me see that I could take positive action to atone for what had happened. She’d murdered her husband because she’d found him in bed with another woman, and she regretted it so much. She set up groups to help the other prisoners learn to read, she read their letters for them, helped them write them. She said she was paying back. She made me think about how I could pay back.’ Her voice faltered and Gareth squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, encouraging her to carry on. ‘I was on a hairdressing and beauty course at college before I was sent to prison. Sue encouraged me to finish the course in prison. I did the prisoners’ hair and make-up for them, gave them beauty treatments. It cheered them up so much. Then a few months before she was due to be released, Sue got cancer.’ She licked her lips, the memories of that terrible time flooding into her mind. ‘I looked after her, did her hair for her, anything to make her feel better about herself. I was released not long after her and she asked me to move in with her. I became her carer. I looked after her until she died.’
‘That must have been a hard time for you,’ Gareth said gently.
Maria nodded, the pain of losing her beloved friend still with her. ‘Sue left me some money in her will, and a note telling me to forgive myself for the past and use the money to make a future for myself. I remembered how much my beauty treatments had cheered her up and the other prisoners too, so I used the money to take more training, then opened a beauty salon. I called it Daisy’s because Sue’s favourite flowers were daisies,’ she explained. ‘I vowed to treat as m
any cancer sufferers as I could afford for free. It was my thanks to Sue for giving me something to live for, and a way to start a new life, and my payback for causing Alicia’s death and destroying her family’s life.’
Gareth hugged her tight. ‘You’ve suffered so much. I wish you had told me.’
‘I was too frightened. Would you have married me if you had known? Lily was already suspicious of me. She would never have allowed you to marry a woman convicted of murder.’
‘Wrongly convicted of murder,’ he corrected her. ‘And Lily has changed her opinion of you. She wouldn’t believe that you would harm Emma, even when the police were convinced you had – that’s why she went looking for Joan. You’re a good woman, Maria. I know you are. I saw how you were with Ruth. And even now, you risked everything to save Emma, but still treated Simon and his mum with compassion, saying that you didn’t want Simon to be charged.’
‘How could I when my actions caused all this? I should have told you about the letters though. I regret that. I put Emma in danger. I am so sorry.’ She wiped her eyes. ‘Well, now I’ve told you everything, and thank you for your understanding. It means a lot to me. I thought that you would never want to see me again.’
‘I was angry at first, and hurt, but now I’ve had time to think about it and I want you to come home, Maria.’
She stared at him, stunned. ‘You want me back? After everything?’
‘Because of everything. You’re a wonderful person, Maria. And I love you.’
Maria could hardly believe her ears. ‘But what about Lily? And Emma?’
‘Emma loves you and is waiting to see you. And Lily is starting to accept that there was a miscarriage of justice here.’
