by Kahlen Aymes
I sucked in my breath until my lungs felt they would explode, and then hurried back to my room to touch up my makeup, wanting to be beautiful for him.
Tonight, I was going to let whatever happened, happen. I was going to let Jensen touch me and kiss me. I would completely trust my heart.
JENSEN
I had been staring at Missy all through dinner and glanced across at her now, as I pulled out of the parking lot of the restaurant. Throughout the evening she’d gotten more and more relaxed, and her smiles had come easily, which had me flying. I couldn’t help noticing the graceful curve of her neck, the soft swell of her breasts above the neckline of her sweater, or the curve of her shoulders showing through the cutout material. Her flowing blonde hair called for my fingers to run through it; I knew it would feel like liquid silk. I felt like a kid standing on the outside of a candy store salivating over everything inside but allowed only to peer through the window and dream about its contents. She was simply stunning.
Our hands were lightly entwined together, as they had been from almost the minute that I’d picked her up. We talked about work, we talked about our kids, and she asked me what parts of Atlanta I thought she should look in for a home or apartment. Selfishly, I wanted her to find something near me. If her mother wasn’t moving in with her, and if I’d known her longer, I probably would have suggested that she and Dylan move-in with me.
I wanted her in a way that drove me crazy. I felt hungry, but in a profound, more insatiable way than I’d ever been. I felt jealous when any other man even looked at her sideways. It was ludicrous to have these thoughts, but something deep inside my soul said this was it. She was the one.
When I was away from her; she was all I thought about. I couldn’t wait to see her, and when we were together, like now, I was giddy with the happiness that filled every fiber of my soul. The small smile that lifted the corners of her mouth as she looked dreamily out of the window was a strong indication that she felt safe with me, and I reveled in it. I wanted to ask what she was feeling, but instincts told me it might be too soon to press. It was going to be harder than hell to be around her, want her so badly, yet still hold back. But… I had to bide my time. Testosterone was teeming, and my instincts were screaming for me to act.
I turned my eyes back to the road, trying to calm down my inner demons. “So, this is the part of the evening where I ask what you want to do next?”
I sensed it when her head turned toward me, and I could feel her eyes studying my face as if it were an actual caress. I swallowed and slid her a quick glance. “Well?” I asked, an eyebrow shooting up.
Her head cocked to one side, and her gaze was still intense and contemplative as she considered my question. “Mmmm….” There was palpable energy between us; not just in where our hands touched, but in the air around us. The thumb on my right hand brushed slowly back and forth over the knuckles of her left. “What are my choices?” she asked softly.
Maybe she didn’t mean it to sound so seductive, but the languid way the words slipped out went straight to my dick.
I sucked in a slow, steadying breath, hoping she wouldn’t notice. “It’s a little chilly for a walk along Riverwalk, but there are a lot of bars; some with music if you’d like to dance or get a drink. It’s beautiful down there… so we could do that. We could see a movie, or,” I was about to jump off the cliff. I shouldn’t even be suggesting it, but I wanted to be alone with her, and whether that resulted in making love or not, I wanted to have her to myself. It would also tell me if she trusted me.
“Or?” She was leaning back in her seat, half turned toward me, with one leg curled beneath her. The serious look on her face told me she knew what I was about to say.
“Or, we could go to my place. I have wine or ice cream.” I huffed out a small laugh, a sardonic grin starting on my face as I looked over at her again.
Wine, or fucking ice cream? I scolded myself. I felt like I was in high school, fumbling around in the dark for my dick, for Christ’s sake. I was a complete idiot. “I mean we can talk some more, without interruption.”
Oh, my God; I thought. She probably thinks I’m like every other horny bastard who tries to get in her pants. Could I have said anything more asinine?
“Over drinks or dessert?” she asked.
I nodded, not wanting to shove my foot further into my mouth. “Yes. Anything you want to do. I’m up for anything.”
Shit.
I felt heat creeping up my face as I prayed to God she didn’t take that as an erection reference. I’d never been so conscious of every syllable that came out of my mouth, or so worried about its interpretation, in my entire life. I was out of my element.
The sun had set so I couldn’t see the color of her eyes, but they were definitely darker and trained right on me. “Wine or ice cream.” Missy’s voice was soft and sultry, but decisive as she repeated my words. “That’s my choice. I’d like to see where you live.”
My heart literally leapt as a short, relieved laugh burst from within my chest. “Okay,” I turned onto the expressway that would take me toward Decatur on the northeast side of town and squeezed Missy’s hand that I still held in mine. “My house isn’t anything like Chase and Teagan’s. I’m just warning you.”
She snorted in amusement. “I didn’t expect that. I doubt the governor’s mansion compares. I’m sure it’s really nice, though,” she said, her hand tightening on mine. “Like you.”
“We didn’t choose it for its aesthetics. It’s near a couple of the big hospitals,” I explained unnecessarily, then chastising myself because the last thing I fucking wanted was for Missy to think of Teagan and me in that house.
Missy seemed to understand. “Of course, that would have to be your first priority. How long have you lived there?”
“Just under four years. I’ve been considering a move, but I figured Remi was used to the place, and the promotion became my main goal, I guess.”
“Is it a long commute to ESPN?”
I shrugged. “Moderate. That’s definitely something to consider when you’re looking for a place. Traffic during rush hour is a bear.”
I pulled into the older part of the neighborhood further off of the main thoroughfares where my house stood on a quiet street lined with tall trees and dotted with streetlights. The homes were older, but they had character.
“The houses are nice, and the neighborhood is well maintained. Though, I did rip out the orange shag carpet when we moved in. It was gross, especially in the kitchen. The rest of the stuff I could live with.” I explained, pulling into the driveway and braked to a stop.
“In the kitchen?” Missy grimaced.
I smiled. “Yes, my thoughts exactly, but in the seventies and eighties it was the thing.”
She reached out and covered my hand with hers. “You don’t have to worry about the house. My family isn’t well to do. My mother raised us alone, remember?”
I turned off my SUV and paused, looking her in the eyes. I half-shrugged. “Yes. I don’t want you to be turned off because of incidentals.”
“You’d rather I was turned off by non-incidentals?” she teased. The streetlights were behind us, so her face was thrown into shadow, but her gentle ribbing put me at ease.
I shook my head with a chuckle and flipped my hand over beneath hers to capture her fingers in mine. “I’d rather you not be turned off. Period.”
She sucked in a quick breath. “I don’t think you’re in danger of that.”
I brought her hand up to my mouth and gently kissed her palm. “Counting on it.”
I leaned toward her, and she met me halfway. When our lips met, there was a sort of bridled tension begging to be unleashed. Our mouths played gently with each other’s, ghosting and then in a series of soft, sucking kisses. It was glorious, and my body reacted instantly. My hand came up to slide to the back of her neck, under the curtain of her flowing hair and I deepened the kiss. Missy responded, opening her mouth to mine and lightly sucking on my tongue.
I broke the contact with a groan, utterly miserable that I couldn’t keep kissing her, but hoping we’d continue a bit later. I rested my forehead against hers, our reluctant breath mingling in a hot wave. “You wanna come in?”
“Yes.” Her white teeth flashed. “I want my wine and ice cream.”
I couldn’t help the laugh that burst from me. “Well, let’s hope I have some wine that goes well with vanilla. It’s Remi’s favorite and all I have, at present.” I pretended to grimace and opened my door, quickly walking around to open the passenger door and helping Missy out.
Her eyes were flirty. “Then, I think white would be best. Do you have any?”
I slid my arm around her back and started to lead her up the few stairs to the door. “I do.” I shoved the key into the lock and opened the door, indicating she should precede me in. I reached around the doorframe to flip on the light.
Missy waited for me to come in and shut the door behind us, and I helped her out of the light leather jacket she wore over her sweater and jeans. The dark chocolate color complimented her outfit perfectly. I wanted to keep the lights low, so after I’d hung up her coat, and mine, in the entryway closet, I hooked my pinkie with hers and pulled her further into the house, leaving on only light in the entryway.
My first instinct was to pull her into my eager arms and take up where we left off in the car, but as I watched her look around the place, taking in the modest furnishings, I reminded myself again that she was fragile, and I needed to handle her with kid gloves.
The couch and matching chair were upholstered in a light beige fabric flecked with burgundy, and the oak tables were some that Teagan and I had gotten at a flea market. The furniture was weathered. Even the lamps were second hand. The only redeeming feature of the place was the hardwood floors I’d installed in the kitchen and dining room. I’d also given the kitchen a little overhaul with new paint and blinds.
I led Missy into the kitchen and turned on the light over the stove, wishing to hell I had some candles, but it wasn’t like I ever had women over here. The few nights I’d spent with females after my divorce were either in hotel rooms or at their place.
“This is nice,” Missy murmured, running her hand over the quartz countertop. “Did you do the remodel?”
“Is it that obvious?” I asked, rolling my eyes and then taking down two wine glasses from a cupboard and then opening the refrigerator to find the white wine.
She smiled, shaking her head, and then sat down on one of the bar stools around the island. “No, but it’s newer than the rest of the house, so I’m putting two and two together.”
I popped the cork and filled two of the large wine glasses half full as a slow smile slid across my lips. “Beautiful and smart. I like it.” I offered a sly wink. “The project was more for my own sanity than anything else. I did it the first time Remi went through chemo and needed to keep busy.”
Missy took the glass I offered and leaned on her elbows after taking a small sip, her eyes sympathetic. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.”
I took a swallow of wine from my glass. “I have no words for it. I’m just thankful Dylan is healthy.” I’d wanted to ask her all night why Dylan was crying when I arrived to pick her up, but I didn’t want to intrude on something personal.
“This is delicious.”
“Sorry I don’t have any candles,” I said, studying her seriously. The tension between us was so palpable that I wanted to be close to her. “It’s either the microwave light or the television in the living room for ambiance,” I suggested.
A small smile curved her luscious mouth. “It’s like we’re a couple of college kids drinking wine in a dorm or something. I like this better than the TV,” she said indicating the rays coming down over the stove.
I swallowed some more wine, never breaking her gaze. The soft golden light gave her skin a glow and made her hair shine. “I wish I would have known you back then.” I set down my glass on the counter. “Wait here.” I left her standing there to retrieve two of the large throw pillows from the loveseat. When I returned, I moved the bar stools out of the way and plopped the two pillows side by side on the floor under the bar. “After you,” I motioned for her to have a seat on one of the makeshift cushions. I held her glass as she slid off of her stool to the hardwood. I retrieved my own wine, and the bottle before I joined her. We were able to sit very close together and used the bar for a backrest. The island overhang blocked out more of the light, and it felt like we were in a cozy little cave.
We sat, our shoulders touching, and I could almost feel her heartbeat through the connection.
“This is nice,” she said. “Who needs chandeliers and ten-foot ceilings?”
“It is,” I agreed. I wanted to touch her. In fact, every cell in my body was thrumming out their demand that I do so. I shifted my glass to my right hand and then laced my fingers with hers. “I find that I can’t be around you without touching you.” It was an admission that I hope she shared. “I feel this connection between us, and I want to make it physical.”
Missy’s face was turned toward mine as our eyes locked. “Me, too,” she almost whispered.
I already had an erection, just sitting next to her, but her words made the blood surge into it more forcefully. I was in agony. “I’m trying like hell not to rush you, but I am fucking dying.” I closed my eyes, conscious of the throb in my voice. “Melissa…”
I vowed to take it easy with her, but this slow burn could turn into a flash fire with just one word from her. Only one word and we could combust.
She leaned in so her forehead rested on my cheek and I turned to kiss her temple. Her perfume, a mixture of spring flowers and musk, was a heady combination that had been wafting around me all evening.
“Will you go slow?” Her voice was a mere whisper. “No one has touched me in a long time.”
In that second, I made the decision. My needs be damned. I wanted to focus on Missy’s pleasure because that’s what she needed.
I turned toward her, careful of our wine glasses. “I told myself this wasn’t going to happen, yet.” My voice was low and soothing as my fingers traced her cheek and then down to her chin. I ran my thumb over her full lower lip. “I don’t want to scare you, but I am incredibly desperate to be close to you.”
She took a deep breath, and I watched her gorgeous breasts rise and fall. “You don’t scare me like this, but I can’t promise how I’ll feel when we get into it. The damage is deep.”
As aroused as I was, fury exploded inside my heart. She let me touch her, and even kiss her, so if she was afraid of sex, then her husband must have raped her. At that moment, I vowed that if I ever laid eyes on that son of a bitch, I’d beat him within an inch of his life. Internally I was raging, but outwardly, I was calm, stroking softly down her neck and running my knuckles lightly over the top swells of her breasts.
She was far too beautiful and delicate to have suffered at the hands of a madman.
“All I want to do is touch you,” I reassured. “Nothing will happen that you don’t want, or that doesn’t feel amazing.” Her aquamarine eyes appeared deeper, like the color of the Mediterranean and glittered in the half-light. “Do you trust me?” I leaned in and kissed her mouth, the kiss like a whisper, as I waited for her response.
“I trust you,” she breathed against my lips. “I—” she stopped mid-sentence.
My eyes roamed over the beautiful curves of her face, lingering on her eyes and lips. “What is it? You can tell me anything.”
“After our dinner in L.A., that night…”
I brushed her cheekbone with my fingers, my face hovering so close to hers that I could taste the wine on her breath. I loved the scent of her. “Just say it, babe,” I commanded softly. “Whatever it is, it’s okay.”
“I had a dream…”
A sultry smile started on one corner of my mouth and slid across my lips as my eyes widened. “A lovemaking dream?” I asked hopefully.
Missy pulled her eyes from mine and looked down, then nodded.
“Well, don’t worry. I’ve been thinking about you day and night.”
“You have?”
“Like it’s a secret. Every man at the station has,” I admitted out loud. “You’re so beautiful, how could they not?”
Her eyes flashed back up to mine. “You’re the only one who matters.”
I swallowed hard as emotions overwhelmed me. My heart expanded so much it hurt. Physically, I was literally vibrating, and my cock was throbbing and so swollen I thought it would split the zipper of my jeans. It was almost painful, but this wasn’t about me, it was about her. My head dropped to meet hers. I wanted to pull her to me and kiss her until she was breathless, but instead, I inhaled to calm my breathing and steady my words. “You’re so fucking amazing, do you know that?”
She shook her head. “I think you are.”
“Come on,” I said, reaching up to set my glass on the surface of the island. I stood and pulled her up. I cupped her face and kissed her slowly, but deeper than I’d ever kissed her. My body was aching, but my heart was singing as she kissed me back; opening her mouth so my tongue could access the deepest recesses. Over and over we kissed, creating a sort of blissful torture. When I pulled away, I couldn’t help going back for a series of smaller kisses that still worshiped her lips. “Let’s go,” I murmured, picking up both wine glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other. I could feel Missy’s hand latch on the shirttail of my button down as she followed me.
I made the quick decision to take her into the living room and onto the sofa, rather than my bedroom. I considered it would be less threatening. I didn’t want her to think full-blown sex was my immediate intention. No question, I wanted her, but I was more concerned with making her feel safe with me.
Missy sank down onto the couch as I refilled both glasses, handing one to her, and then taking a long pull on mine. I set it down and started to unbutton my shirt, keeping my eyes on her the entire time; I couldn’t help but notice how she was looking at my naked chest as it was exposed, button-by-button.
