The Creeps

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by John Connolly


  The bride and groom stand in the middle of the front row. Maria looks beautiful, and Samuel looks like a man who knows that the woman beside him is beautiful, and that she loves him, and he loves her. At their feet sits a small dachshund. He is not Boswell—for Boswell has gone to another place—but the son of Boswell, and yet the spirit of his father lives on in him.

  To Samuel’s right is a figure dressed in a very elegant dark suit. His skin has a slightly greenish tinge to it, although that might just be a problem with the camera. His chin is very long, and tilts upward at the end so that, in profile, he resembles a crescent moon. He has a white flower in his buttonhole, and he is content.

  • • •

  Let us leave the album and move back into the sunlight. The oldest of the trees in the garden is a spreading oak. Beneath it, shaded by leaves and branches, is a bench, and two friends are seated upon it. Nearby, Wormwood tends the garden, aided by Crudford. Wormwood, it has emerged, is a skilled gardener, perhaps the greatest the Multiverse has ever known. A dachshund digs beside him, hoping to unearth a bone. This is the great-great-great-grandson of Boswell.

  His name, too, is Boswell.

  There is much of Samuel the boy in Samuel the older man as he sits on the bench, a glass of champagne by his side. His hair, now gray, still flops across his forehead, and his glasses still refuse to sit quite evenly on his nose. His socks still do not match.

  Nurd’s appearance has not changed. It will never change, for he will never age. He once used to worry about what might happen when Samuel died, for he could not imagine a Multiverse without his friend, but he worries no longer: he has learned the secrets of the Multiverse, and has seen what lies beyond death. Wherever Samuel goes, Nurd will go, too. When the time comes, he will be waiting for his friend on the other side.

  Waiting along with a host of Boswells.

  “Tell me a tale,” says Samuel. “Tell me a story of your adventures.”

  He has heard all of Nurd’s tales many times before, but he never tires of them. It is not just in appearance that he resembles the boy he once was. He has never lost his enthusiasm, or his sense of wonder. They have carried him through difficult times, for it is not only Nurd who has led an exciting existence over the years. Samuel’s life, too, has always been enjoyably odd, and there are stories about him that may yet have to be told.

  And as the sun warms them, Nurd begins to speak.

  “Once upon a time,” he says, “there was a boy named Samuel Johnson . . .”

  Acknowledgments

  My thanks to Emily Bestler, Judith Curr, Megan Reid, David Brown, and all at Atria/Emily Bestler Books; Sue Fletcher, Swati Gamble, Kerry Hood, and the team at Hodder & Stoughton; Clair Lamb and Madeira James; and all of my foreign publishers and agents who have supported these odd little books. As always, I’m indebted to my agent, Darley Anderson, and his staff, without whom I wouldn’t have a career at all. Finally, love and thanks to Jennie, Cameron, and Alistair.

  JOHN CONNOLLY is the author such international bestsellers as The Wrath of Angels, The Gates, and The Book of Lost Things. He divides his time between Dublin, Ireland, and Portland, Maine. He can be contacted through his website at johnconnollybooks.com, or via Twitter at @jconnollybooks.

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

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  First Emily Bestler Books/Atria Books hardcover edition October 2013

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  ISBN 978-1-4767-5709-4

  ISBN 978-1-4767-5711-7 (ebook)

  Contents

  Chapter I: In Which a Birthday Party Takes Place, and We Learn That One Ought to Be Careful with Candles (and Dangling Prepositions)

  Chapter II: In Which Someone Sees a Ghost (Yawn)

  Chapter III: In Which We Travel to a Galaxy Far, Far Away, but Since It’s Not a Long Time Ago the Star Wars People Can’t Sue Us

  Chapter IV: In Which We Go Shopping, and Rather Wish That We Hadn’t

  Chapter V: In Which We Go on a Date—Well, Not “We” as in You and I, Because That Would Just Be Awkward, but We Go on a Date with Other People. No, Hang on, That’s Still Not Right. Oh, Never Mind. Just Read the Chapter.

  Chapter VI: In Which We Are Reunited with Some Old Friends, and Keep a Close Watch on Our Wallets

  Chapter VII: In Which We Have a Musical Interlude

  Chapter VIII: In Which the Forces of Law and Order Encounter the Forces of Lawlessness and Disorder

  Chapter IX: In Which Clever Disguises Are Adopted

  Chapter X: In Which We Pay a Brief Visit to Hell

  Chapter XI: In Which We Learn Why People Should Just Call Their Children Simple Names Like Jane or John—Especially John, Which Is a Very Good Name. Manly. Heroic, Even.

  Chapter XII: In Which Invitations Are Received

  Chapter XIII: In Which We Learn That Hilary Mould May Have Been Even Odder Than First Suspected

  Chapter XIV: In Which the Worst Date in the History of Dating Begins

  Chapter XV: In Which Brian the Tea Boy Really Wishes That He Had Found Himself a Safer Job, like Hand-Feeding Great White Sharks, or Juggling Scorpions

  Chapter XVI: In Which a Scientist Tries to Be Cleverer than Maria, and Fails

  Chapter XVII: In Which BoyStarz Return to the Limelight, Thus Making a Bad Situation Worse

  Chapter XVIII: In Which
Maria Explains Things to the Scientists

  Chapter XIX: In Which Wreckit & Sons Reopens, and There Is Much Joy and Good Cheer. (Part of This Chapter Heading May Be a Lie.)

  Chapter XX: In Which History Comes Alive

  Chapter XXI: In Which the Dwarfs Make a New Friend. Sort of.

  Chapter XXII: In Which All Threats Begin with the Letter E

  Chapter XXIII: In Which the Cracks in the Relationship Between Samuel and Lucy Become Greater

  Chapter XXIV: In Which Nurd and Wormwood Plan a Great Escape

  Chapter XXV: In Which Battle Commences

  Chapter XXVI: In Which Constable Peel Is Reduced to Tears of Unhappiness

  Chapter XXVII: In Which Dorothy Seems Slightly Confused

  Chapter XVIII: In Which Crudford Proves to Be the Smartest Gelatinous Blob in the Room

  Chapter XXIX: In Which Efforts Are Made to Console Constable Peel

  Chapter XXX: In Which Help Arrives, Wearing a Very Fetching Hat

  Chapter XXXI: In Which the Funniness of Clowns Is Doubted

  Chapter XXXII: In Which We Learn That If One Can’t Go Through Something, and One Can’t Go over It, or Around It, Then There’s Only One Way Left to Go

  Chapter XXXIII: In Which Spiggit’s Plays an Important Role

  Chapter XXXIV: In Which the Great Size of the Multiverse Is Revealed

  Chapter XXXV: In Which We End on a Cliffhanger

  Chapter XXXVI: In Which Mrs. Abernathy’s Identity Is Revealed

  Chapter XXXVII: In Which Mrs. Abernathy Finally Gets Her Just Deserts

  Chapter XXXVIII: In Which There Is a Parting of the Ways

  Chapter XXXIX: In Which We Step Forward in Time

  Acknowledgments

  About John Connolly

 

 

 


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