by Claire Raye
When I don’t respond Ellen adds, “He’s toxic, Lauren. Jack isn’t. Please don’t let this ruin the progress you’ve made. Things are good.”
I nod, but the damage is done.
“Why did you tell me then?”
“Did you want me to lie to you? Keep it a secret and then have you find out later? You would’ve been furious if it played out like that.”
She’s right. Had I found out later that she ran into Nate and didn’t tell me, I would be angry. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting to hear his name, to know he’s asking about me.
“You’re right,” I concede, trying to shake off this heavy feeling.
“Jack is good for you. He gave me back my sister…”
Ellen tries to continue, but I talk over her. “Jack’s going to leave too, Ellen, but at least this time I know it’s coming.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Um, what’s he going to do?” I ask, my voice dripping with cynicism. “Stay here and be our maintenance man? He’s far too talented for that and I’m sure he has a life back in Australia.”
“Something brought him back here and it wasn’t just our broken crusher.”
“I’m done, Ellen,” I snap, my ass hitting the chair hard as I begin to scroll through the few emails that have come through in the last few minutes.
“Do you want to talk about the wedding?”
“My wedding!? I practically yell. “Fuck no!”
“The wedding you booked,” she says, wide-eyed at my over the top response.
“I’m cancelling it.”
Ellen lets out a long sigh and runs her hand through her hair. “You’re not cancelling it.” Her tone is harsh and firm and before I can continue this argument she walks out the door.
The entire rest of my day is spent attempting to complete the most mundane tasks but being completely distracted.
I’ve once again allowed Nate to consume my thoughts and weasel his way back into my life.
It’s not like I have any attraction to him anymore or that I want him back. He’s just a reminder of how blindsided I was by manipulation and years of letting someone control me.
Him not showing up at our wedding was the biggest embarrassment of my life, but it was also the best thing that ever happened to me.
It’s like looking back at pictures from high school and wondering what the hell you were wearing, but then coming across that one where you still look amazing.
Nate is tube tops and self-cut bangs and silver eyeliner. Things that are humiliating to look at, but gratifying to know you survived.
But it’s also a reminder that I never want to go back, that I can’t let someone get so close that I’m hurt again. That’s exactly what will happen if this thing with Jack goes any further.
I’m about to get in the shower when my front door opens and Jack steps in.
“I came looking for you at lunch but I couldn’t find you,” he says, his eyes shining as he walks over to me.
When he reaches for me, I shy away and confusion washes over his face. I watch as his demeanor changes, his shoulders fall and he shakes his head slightly.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit, Lu. You just pulled away from me. I thought we were past this being weird shit.”
“What are we doing here?” I ask, but the words fall from my lips with a bite to them and a harshness to my tone. I gesture between us, and Jack steps closer to me.
“I thought we were starting a relationship, but I guess I was wrong.” He sounds affronted and I don’t blame him given my reaction to him.
“Why? So you can fuck off back to Australia and leave me?”
“Whoa, Lu,” he says, hands up defensively. “I’m not sure when the argument started, but I need to catch up.”
“There’s no argument,” I hiss back, knowing I’ve left him far behind and confused by my behavior. “You’ll leave and I’ll be here looking stupid. It is what it is.”
Jack is silent, his eyes taking me in, his lips parted slightly as if he wants to say something but words fail him.
“Good bye, Jack,” I spit out, walking down the hallway that leads to my bedroom and into my bathroom. I slam the door behind me, and the knot that had formed in my stomach, tight and nauseating, slowly begins to uncoil.
I take a deep breath, start the shower and strip off my clothes, but before I can take off my bra and underwear, the door to my bathroom flies open.
“Jack, what the…” I shout, as he forces me against the glass wall of the shower, the length of his body pressing into mine.
“You don’t get to walk away when we argue,” he asserts. “And I’m not going to fuck off back to Australia and leave you.”
He’s looking down at me, his deep blue eyes serious and it makes it hard to form a coherent sentence. I hear the truth in his words and I want to believe him. I swallow hard and suck in a ragged breath.
He places his hands on either side of my face and I close my eyes because there’s no way he’s still here after the fit I just threw. He’s supposed to leave.
His lips brush against mine in the smallest, softest movement causing my entire body to shudder, chills rushing down my spine.
He kisses his way along my jaw until he reaches my neck, sucking and biting at me. His hands slide over my breasts, the lightest touch of his fingertips trailing over the bare skin of my stomach.
“Jack…” I start, breathless and needy, but he cuts me off murmuring, “Don’t ruin it, Lu.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jack
My hands grip her hips, pushing her backward into the shower stall as I follow her in, my lips never leaving her skin as I kiss my way back to her mouth. The water falls around us, my clothes now soaked and clinging to my skin as I slide my hands up her back to her bra strap.
“Jack,” she murmurs, her hands moving to the waistband of my jeans.
My fingers pause on the strap as I pull back a little. Lu stares up at me, her lips slightly parted as though she isn’t sure what to say. “I’ll stop if you want me to, Lu,” I tell her. “But I really don’t want to stop and I don’t think you want me to either.”
Lu swallows hard, her bottom lip between her teeth as she continues to look up at me. Just when I think she’s about to say yes, stop, her fingers slide into the top of my jeans and she pulls me back to her.
“Don’t stop,” she whispers against my mouth.
Groaning, my fingers fumble with the strap, undoing her bra before I pull the straps down her arms and it falls to the floor. Lu’s fingers fumble with the buttons of my jeans, her hands shoving the wet material down my hips when she finally gets them undone.
I let go of her long enough to pull my t-shirt over my head before throwing it in the corner of the shower stall. Sliding my hands around her back, I pull her closer, so we’re chest to chest, her skin against mine as I lower my mouth to hers once more.
I feel her hands on my hips again, pushing my briefs down before she does the same with her own panties so there is no longer anything between us.
“God, Lu,” I murmur against her mouth as I back her up against the wall. I kiss a trail down her neck, sucking on her collarbone before I lower my mouth to her breast.
When I suck her nipple into my mouth, she moans, low and sexy as her head falls back and her body bows into mine. My arms tighten around her waist, holding her as I move lower, my teeth grazing against her hip before kissing a trail across her stomach to her other hip.
“Jack,” she groans and it sounds so fucking sexy I nearly lose it. As I drop to my knees, I feel her fingers slide into my hair, my hands gripping her hips as I pull her closer, pull her against my mouth.
“Oh jesus christ,” she murmurs, her legs buckling a little as I tease her with my tongue, my hands holding her up. Her moans echo in the shower stall, even as the water continues to fall around us.
I take my time, teasing her, pushing her closer and
closer to the edge only to stop just when I think she’s about to let go. Every time I do, her fingers tighten in my hair, urging me back to her, her low murmurs begging me to keep going. I open my eyes, stare up her body, the water falling down over her skin. Her eyes are closed, her whole body leaning back against the wall, bottom lip between her teeth.
She looks fucking incredible.
I hook one of her legs over my shoulder, trailing my fingers up the inside of her thigh. She groans again, hands in my hair holding me against her and this time I give her what she wants, pushing her harder and harder until eventually she lets go, calling out my name as she comes, her voice husky with desire.
Standing, I pull her into my arms, reaching behind her to turn the water off.
“Come with me,” I whisper.
We both step out of the shower, my mouth finding hers again as I walk her back into her bedroom, neither of us bothering to dry off. When we reach her bed, I gently push her on to it until she’s lying naked in front of me.
I lean forward, my hands on either side of her shoulders as I brush my lips against hers. “You are so beautiful,” I whisper, lowering my body onto hers.
Lu’s hands slide around my back, the water still dripping from both of us as she pulls me against her, her legs wrapping around my hips.
“You want me to stop?” I whisper, smiling as I pull back so I can see her.
Lu’s deep blue eyes lock with mine as she slowly shakes her head, a smile tugging at her mouth.
My smile widens as I lower my head and kiss her. She arches beneath me now, her hips moving up to meet mine as her hands slide down my back to my arse, pulling me closer.
When I slide inside her, we both groan. “God, you feel fucking amazing,” I whisper between kisses.
“Jack,” is all she says and then both of us stop talking.
We move together, our bodies so in sync it’s like we’ve been doing this forever. She fits perfectly against me, her bones and muscles all moving to accommodate mine, her fingers digging into me, nails scoring my skin, marking me as I move against her.
My body feels like it’s on fire, my skin hot against hers as electricity courses between us. We kiss constantly, both of us pushing each other harder and harder, hands and lips everywhere.
Eventually, neither of us can hold back any longer and as she arches beneath me, calling out my name again, I push deep inside her one more time as my body shatters against hers.
I collapse against her, our bodies now covered in sweat as we lie together, both of us breathing hard. My heart pounds in my chest as I press soft, gentle kisses, slowly brushing my lips against hers.
“That was amazing,” she whispers.
I smile. “Fucking fantastic,” I murmur. “God, I’ve dreamed about this, Lulu.”
“You have?” she asks, eyes opening.
I grin down at her. “Yes,” I say, pressing another kiss to her lips. “Many, many times,” I tell her. She giggles now and it’s fucking adorable. I roll over, keeping her with me so she’s now lying on top of me. “I’ve had a crush on you since I was kid, Lu,” I confess, brushing her hair back. “It’s never gone away. And it’s only intensified since I got back here.”
Lu stares down at me, a shocked look on her face as she takes in my words, my admission to her. It’s all true, everything I’ve just said. Back when I was a kid, I’d thought it was just a teenage crush, the kind of crush that would disappear as soon as I went back home to Oz and forgot all about the skinny little blonde girl who I couldn’t seem to stop tormenting.
But it hadn’t and even though I hadn’t seen her for fourteen years, it didn’t mean I didn’t miss her, didn’t wish that maybe I’d kept in contact with her. That I hadn’t been so mean to her all those times I teased and tormented her. And even though it hadn’t been all bad between us, plenty of good memories too, a part of me wished I’d done things differently.
God, I even looked her up on Facebook once or twice, just to see what she was doing. I’d thought maybe I could drop her a message, see how she was, but instead all I’d seen was photos of her and some other guy, which were enough to stop me from reaching out.
“Does that scare you?” I ask her, skimming my thumb across her cheek.
“Maybe,” she whispers.
I lean up and kiss her again. “So, does that have something to do with whatever that was earlier?”
Lu shakes her head, sliding off me a little so she’s half lying on me, her head now resting on my shoulder. She smooths a hand over my chest, down my stomach to my hip, her fingers tracing the scar that’s there.
“Lu,” I say, titling her face to mine. “I meant what I said, okay? I’m not leaving you.”
“But you are going to go back to Australia,” she finally says, her words barely audible.
I exhale because I know she’s right. I am going back, I have to, for so many reasons. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do this, don’t want to find a way to make it work.
“But I’m not leaving you,” I tell her again. “We’ve only just gotten started, Lu,” I try, desperate to find a way to explain this so she doesn’t give up on us before we even have a chance to begin. “We can find a way to make this work.”
She lets out a long breath, leaning her forehead on my chest. I feel her lips against my skin, her breath warm as I trail my fingers up her spine. Eventually she lifts her head, her eyes meeting mine as she offers me a small smile. I smile back at her, my fingers brushing against her cheek.
“Don’t give up on us,” I whisper.
She leans forward, her lips meeting mine as she whispers, “Okay.”
The next morning, I wake with Lu naked and asleep in my arms. Every single part of me wants to wake her up with my mouth, make her moan and call my name again like she did so many times last night.
I don’t though, reluctantly easing her off me as I slide out of bed. Even though it’s early, I know Ollie and Oscar are coming over today and I don’t want to risk them finding us like this. It’s bad enough Ollie busted us kissing the other night and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before she’s announcing that nugget of information to the world.
My clothes are all still on the floor of the shower, soaking wet. I grab them and a towel, which I wrap around my waist before walking back into the bedroom. Lu is lying on her side as she half opens her eyes, a sleepy smile on her face.
I lean down and press a kiss to her shoulder. “I gotta go and get some dry clothes before work,” I whisper, nuzzling at her neck.
“Mmmm,” she murmurs, her hand sliding out from under the covers as she reaches for the towel. “Stay.”
I grin, kissing my way up to her ear. “I wish I could, beautiful,” I whisper. “But I gotta get to work.”
“Hard ass boss?” she says, smiling.
Her fingers brush against my skin before slipping beneath the towel. It takes everything I have in me to still her hand, stop her from pulling at the towel when it’s exactly what I want her to do.
“Nah,” I say, nibbling the skin just below her ear. “She likes to think she is, but I know she’s a total softie underneath.”
Lu rolls onto her back now, the sheet slipping a little. I can’t stop the groan that falls from my mouth as I move my lips down her neck and across her now uncovered chest. “God, you make it impossible,” I murmur against her skin.
“Stay,” she repeats, her hand finding the towel again.
This time I don’t stop her, my wet clothes joining the towel on the floor as I crawl onto the bed, pushing the sheet completely out of the way so it’s my body that’s now covering her instead. Lu leans up, her mouth finding mine in a hungry kiss that leaves me breathless and my hands sliding down her ribcage, over her hip to her thigh, which I hitch around my hip.
“Aunt Lulu!?”
We both freeze.
“Aunt Lulu,” Ollie calls again. “Where are you?”
“Fuck,” Lu says, shoving me off her. I can’t help but la
ugh as she scrambles from the bed, grabbing a robe from the back of the door, which she quickly shuts. She pulls it on, wrapping it tightly around her before she turns back to me.
“Go,” I tell her, smiling. “I’ll sneak out the back.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, shaking her head.
I get out of bed and walk over to her. “It’s okay,” I whisper, my mouth at her ear. “We can pick this back up tonight,” I add, before opening the door and pushing her out.
The truck is pulling up as I reach the shed, Tommy and another guy are both standing there waiting. It had taken nearly thirty minutes for me to get out of the house, as I listened through the door to Lu trying to convince Ollie and Oscar to stay in the living room and watch TV.
In the end, I’d managed to sneak out the back, legging it across the lawn to my place in nothing but a bath towel, my wet clothes still on the floor in Lu’s bedroom.
Totally worth it though.
“Morning,” I say.
The other guy, who I think is called Greg, returns the greeting, but Tommy just nods, his face stony as he stands with his arms crossed over his chest. Not sure what the fuck his problem is.
The delivery driver gets out, his eyes scanning his clipboard before he looks up and says, “Jack?”
“That’d be me,” I say, stepping forward. Tommy mirrors the action, standing beside me as he watches the driver and I share a look.
“Okay,” the delivery guy eventually says. “Sign here.” He indicates on the form and I do as requested before all the parts for the crusher are unloaded.
When the truck’s empty, the guy leaves and I take in all the boxes, mentally checking them off with the list in my head.
“Everything here?” Greg asks.
“No,” I say, shaking my head as I skim over the invoice in my hands. “Two parts are missing.”
“You forgot to order them?” Tommy asks.
My head shoots up. “Of course I fucking didn’t,” I say.
Tommy shrugs. “Well, looks like you did,” he says before turning and walking into the shed.
