The rush of images of them together that followed it both transfixed and angered him, saddening and warming him at the same time. It was strange to see himself looking so different to his current appearance, and to see himself fighting so fiercely to protect the petite woman who looked at him with so much love and devotion even though he was demonic.
Veiron knew deep in his heart that her desire for him then hadn’t been born of her link to Hell, to the realm surrounding him now. She hadn’t known that she had the Devil in her blood.
He saw her pain and confusion as her visions revealed her unknown power, and she unleashed them on the angel he knew as Nevar. She hadn’t lied about that either. They had fought on a rooftop in a city because Nevar had sought to take her to Heaven, to take her from him. She had attacked the angel with her power, protecting Veiron and forcing the angel to retreat.
Nevar couldn’t remember it, so Heaven must have tampered with his memories too.
Veiron’s anger spiked back up but faded again when the scene shifted and he saw himself with Erin, walking a moonlit shore hand in hand. She was beautiful as she looked at him with so much love shining in her eyes. He ached for her to look at him that way again, for her to realise that he was still the man she had loved back then, even if he couldn’t remember her. He still wanted to protect her, and he was coming to care for her again.
Hell filled the pool and he witnessed the fight she had mentioned with the angels, the one he remembered in part, and forced himself to watch as he died, killed by an angel and taken back to Heaven. He didn’t follow himself there though.
Veiron stayed with Erin, captivated by her and how distraught she was. Her pain beat in his heart as she suffered, held by the Devil, devastated by his death and scared by what was happening to her. Veiron frowned and held his hand closer to the pool, aching for her as she awakened, listening to everything she said to her father in that moment and wishing her faith in him had been proven true.
Her fear clawed at him as she struggled against the change and another form shifted beneath her skin, turning it dark wherever it pushed hardest.
But her suffering as she awakened was nothing compared with what came afterwards when the Devil returned her to the island and she struggled to cope with what had happened to her and Veiron’s death. It tore at him and he longed to see her, wanted to reach into the pool to her and offer her comfort, needed to wrap her in his arms and protect her from all the cruelty and pain in the world.
She had suffered enough but Heaven had used him against her. They had sought to hurt her further and weaken her by sending him to capture her. They had known that she wouldn’t be able to use her powers on him because she loved him.
The knowledge that they had burned away his trust in Heaven, leaving him cold to the bone and unsure of everything. He had been so certain that Erin and the others had lied, that this had all been a trap, and that Heaven was good and pure and intended only to protect the world from the danger Erin represented.
Now he was only certain that Heaven wanted her dead in order to protect itself, and it had used him and Nevar, tampering with their memories as they had tampered with others.
He felt sick.
Veiron stood on unsteady legs and let the pool switch back to showing the present Erin where she stood on a beach staring at the moon.
He needed to see her.
He turned away from the pool and walked over to Apollyon where he waited a few metres away, his back to him. When he touched the dark angel’s shoulder, he turned and his blue eyes were full of compassion and understanding. He had suffered because of Heaven too.
“Have you seen enough?” Apollyon said and Veiron nodded. “Then we should leave.”
It was what he wanted most.
Veiron followed him in silence, lost in his thoughts as Apollyon opened the path to the mortal realm and they flew upwards. He ached to see Erin and tell her that he knew the truth now, but he feared being around her at the same time. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Heaven tried to control him and make him hurt her. He hoped he could overrule their commands and stop himself from going through with it.
The flight to the mortal realm seemed to take forever, the darkness ahead of him never ending. A cool salty breeze blew down the crevasse and Veiron breathed deep of it, using it to rid his lungs of the toxic air of Hell and soothe his pain.
Finally, he broke free of the earth and spread his pale wings to slow his ascent. The ground beneath them began to close, the sand shifting to repair the crack Apollyon had created.
Amelia and Marcus were instantly on their feet and approaching them. Apollyon landed first and Veiron was grateful when he herded them away, giving him space. Veiron landed and his gaze sought Erin. She sat at the far end of the palm-fringed beach, holding her knees to her chest, her head tipped upwards towards the starry sky.
Veiron walked the shore towards her, footsteps silent on the white sand, and focused so his wings disappeared. He sent his armour away too, replacing it with shorts similar to Apollyon’s, mortal clothing. He didn’t want to see his armour tonight. It was a painful reminder of what he was and what he had just witnessed.
Erin didn’t look at him when he reached her.
Veiron sat on the sand beside her, unsure how to proceed. He wanted to break the silence but he couldn’t find his voice. He stared at the water, watching the moonlight ripple across its black surface, and then tilted his head towards Erin.
She was beautiful, the soft silvery light of the moon turning her eyes dark and skin milky. His gaze traced her profile. Too beautiful to be born of sin and brimstone like her father. The sight of her caught his breath, stole his heart, and left him speechless. He wished he could speak to her. There were a thousand things he wanted to tell her, things that might lessen her suffering and some that would probably only worsen it. But most of all he wanted to tell her that whatever he had felt for her before his death and rebirth, he was beginning to feel for her again now.
It wasn’t enough for him though. He didn’t only want to feel for her, he wanted to remember her too. He wanted to remember his old feelings for her not discover new ones. They weren’t the same thing. He wanted to recall everything so she wouldn’t spend forever feeling as though he was no longer the man she had once loved and so she could let go of her desire for revenge.
“Did you see everything?” she whispered, never taking her eyes off the moon.
Veiron nodded. “I saw it all. I know you were telling the truth, and I am sorry for how I treated you.”
“It wasn’t your fault. They made you do it.” She paused and sighed. “Do you know what Heaven did to you now?”
“No.”
Her gaze fell to his and she frowned. “You didn’t see your rebirth and what happened?”
He shook his head, took a deep breath to find his courage, and lifted his hand and gently brushed his fingers across her pale moon-kissed cheek, holding her gaze.
“I stayed with you,” he said and her eyes widened. “I stayed so I could see what happened to you. I had to see it. I am so sorry.”
Pain filled her eyes and her jaw trembled. He stroked her cheek, enjoying the softness of her skin beneath his fingers and calling himself cruel for using her suffering as an excuse to touch her. He couldn’t help himself. He needed to touch her like this, had desired it for so long now.
“It’s not your fault.” She lowered her head and turned her face away from him, so his hand slipped from her cheek. His fingers instantly cooled, missing her heat. “It’s their fault.”
Her tone had hardened again and her anger flowed through him.
“Fighting them is not the answer.” No matter how much he desired it was. He wanted to destroy both realms for what they had done to him and to Erin, and to everyone on this island.
“Yes, it is,” Erin said, grim determination darkening her usually soft voice. “It is because they brought this upon themselves. They hurt Amelia and Marcus, and Apollyon. They hurt me…
and they hurt you. They took you from me and I won’t let them get away with that. I’m going to fight them, whether you like it or not.”
She glanced across at him, eyes steely and bright.
“Will you fight with me?”
Veiron was beginning to see why he had fallen in love with Erin. She faced everything head on without flinching and was willing to take on the two most powerful beings in the world because they had hurt those she loved and wronged her. She was brave, and beautiful.
“Always.” He nodded and his heart thumped harder when she smiled right into his eyes.
“You’re starting to sound like your old self.” Her bright tone tailed off at the end, turning sombre.
Veiron sighed and she looked away from him, raising her eyes back to the moon.
“I wish I remembered you for myself… not just saw myself with you in some pool,” he whispered and she bit her lip. It trembled regardless of her attempt to stop it and he cursed himself when tears lined her eyes, sparkling like diamonds. He hadn’t meant to hurt her with his words. He had wanted to be honest with her and let her know that he was here with her now, and that he wanted to be with her again. “I want to remember you, Erin.”
She closed her eyes and gave an almost imperceptible nod as she swallowed.
Veiron turned his gaze to the moon and the stars, absorbing how peaceful it felt to sit with Erin. How right it felt. Would he ever regain his memories of her? Would she love him even if he couldn’t? They could make new memories together but he knew she would be haunted by the ones he had lost and the past he couldn’t remember.
Her fingers brushed his where they rested on the sand and he stilled as she slipped her hand into his. Veiron shifted his hand and she tensed, clutching it.
“Just let me… for a little while?” she said, voice so low that it might have been the breeze blowing in off the sea and his imagination that formed those words.
He finished moving his hand as he had intended, linking their fingers together, and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye to find her smiling at the stars.
What future could an angel and the Devil’s daughter have?
Whatever that future was, whatever it entailed, he wanted it and he was willing to do anything to achieve it.
CHAPTER 33
It had been three days since Veiron had visited Hell and returned to her, aware that she had told him nothing but the truth. Those three days had been sheer torture. Erin hadn’t known what to expect when Veiron finally believed her and saw his past life and his time with her, but she hadn’t anticipated him coming to her and telling her that he wanted to remember her.
She hadn’t expected him to hold her hand like that and sit with her in silence that had felt too comfortable.
She hadn’t expected to end up resting her head on his shoulder and falling asleep on him, only to wake in her makeshift home with him lying beside her on top of the covers and still holding her hand, watching her. She had slept for fourteen hours straight and he hadn’t left her side once. She had dreamed of him and those sweet dreams had torn at her more viciously than her nightmares, leaving her feeling weaker than ever. When she had looked into his eyes, he had told her that he would sleep like it again if she desired it, so she might find rest and regain her strength.
It had confused her feelings and muddled her heart, and now she wasn’t sure what she was doing. The Veiron she had loved was dead and gone, but he was alive too. She couldn’t deny that he was different now. The cocksure arrogant side of him seemed to have died with his demonic past and while there were glimmers of it sometimes as he spoke with the others and planned what they would do next, she still felt as though she was looking at a different person.
And then he would look at her across the group and fall silent, staring into her eyes, his dark ones so beautiful as they softened and glittered with something she could easily fool herself into believing was affection.
It killed her when he did that.
She wanted Veiron back, the one he had been before he had died and Heaven had fiddled with his mind. She had hoped he would come back from Hell and tell her that he had seen Heaven tampering with his memories and that he would be his old self if he could only get them back.
Was that too much to ask?
Erin scuffed the sand with her bare foot and basked in the sunlight, letting it wash over her in the hope it would soothe away her confusion and make everything clear to her.
Veiron wanted to remember her.
She wanted him to remember her too.
Sometimes she felt that if she just gave him a chance, she could come to love his reborn self as she had loved him before his death. It only lasted a short while though. He would do something that would remind her of how he had been before and that he would never be that man again, and it would hurt so much that she would have to leave and find some air.
That was the reason she was standing alone on the other side of the island, as far away from everyone as she could get.
Heaven and Hell had taken everything from her that day.
It had taken Veiron and replaced him with a man who left her confused and vulnerable.
It had taken her sister and her family from her. Her past.
It had left her bereft and cold inside. Dark inside. That terrified her. There were times when that darker side of her pushed and a change came over her. She fought it whenever it happened, afraid that someone would see.
Afraid that Veiron would see.
She couldn’t let him witness that side of her. He was an angel again, a man of Heaven. Good. And she was evil. The old Veiron would have understood and comforted her. She could have told him all about it, even let him see it, and he wouldn’t have judged her. He would have supported her. The new Veiron would want to kill her.
Erin cursed herself and scrubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. She pulled in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. She was stronger than this. They hadn’t beaten her yet. They had shaken her world and turned it all upside down, but she wasn’t defeated. She could rise above this and come out of it stronger than ever.
She had come so far with her powers now that she was close to feeling ready to return to Hell for the showdown with her father that her heart demanded. If he had left her alone, she never would have gone through all this pain and suffered so much. She would have had her family still.
But she wouldn’t have had Veiron.
Her heart ached at the thought of how life would have been had she not been captured and taken to Hell. She hated both Heaven and Hell for their part in what happened to her but she could never regret it because it had brought her together with Veiron and she had known true happiness.
Now she knew true pain.
Erin picked up a piece of driftwood and scribbled in the white sand with it, keeping her hands occupied while she thought about how far she had come and where life would take her next.
A storm was brewing.
Everyone on the island could sense it.
It wouldn’t be long now before Heaven or Hell, or her group, made a move.
Would Veiron fight by her side when that happened?
Could she bear that?
If she saw him fight, it would only cement her feeling that he was a different person now, and that would only confuse her further and distract her, leaving her open to attack. Would Veiron protect her if that happened? She wasn’t sure how she would feel if he did, or whether she wanted him to do such a thing. She wanted to scream whenever he did something that reminded her of his old self and protecting her was something he had done so often in his previous life.
“It is not safe for you to be alone.”
That deep voice sent a shiver of heat over her skin and she glanced over her shoulder at Veiron, meeting his dark eyes. He stood in the shadows of the palm trees wearing only a pair of long black shorts, the gentle breeze ruffling the longer strands of his short scarlet hair. If it weren’t for his hair and his lack of tattoos, she might have
been able to fool herself into believing that her Veiron stood before her.
Erin looked away from him and prodded the sand with her stick.
Veiron sighed and she stilled as he approached and rounded her, coming to stand before her. She lifted her eyes to his again and caught the look in them, the one she hated most of all. He knew that she hurt whenever she saw him and his dark eyes offered a silent apology for it.
He felt sorry for her.
Erin had preferred it when he had been trying to kill her.
At least then he hadn’t made her feel like some sappy girl clinging to a dead love.
“I brought you something.” He held out a green coconut to her.
“I’m not thirsty,” she said and looked away from it.
“Oh.” He lowered it and held it in both hands in front of his stomach.
Erin refused to look at it. She could understand why he had chosen to ditch his Heavenly armour but she wished he had chosen to put on a few more clothes. His body was a distraction. Whenever she set eyes on it, she wanted to lick every ridge of muscle and nibble him in a few choice places.
“Erin, I…”
“I’m sorry, that was rude of me. It’s a very nice gesture. Thank you, Veiron.” Erin hastily took the coconut and didn’t have the heart to tell him that she had no way of opening it and wasn’t even sure it would taste any good if she did. She had only had coconuts that were darker in colour, browner on the outside.
He had brought her a peace offering though, and she had to take it, even though it only pointed out the vast differences between how he was now and how he had been.
The old Veiron wouldn’t have given her such an offering. He probably would have thrown her over his shoulder, walked into the shallows and tossed her in the sea to kill her sombre mood.
No. That wasn’t true. She frowned and stared down at the coconut. It began to swim in her vision as tears filled her eyes. Veiron had done something similar back in London. He had brought her fruit as an olive branch, and shortly afterwards, they had shared their first kiss.
Her Demonic Angel (Her Angel Romance Series Book 5) Page 34
