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Do those words truly please me? And if so, why can’t I just say them back to her?
Nothing comes to mind, so I just lean my head over and glide my lips along her forehead. Like I said, she won’t remember any of this tomorrow. “You’re something else, Mac. ”
She doesn’t respond to me but within just a minute or two, her breathing goes deep and I know she’s fallen asleep.
I lay awake for a long time, holding Mac… feeling her heartbeat against mine as we lay together. I can’t deny it… I’m absolutely warmed by her feelings for me. It’s been a long time since someone has cared for me like that, and while I’m convinced I never really missed it after Marissa, I can certainly admit it feels pretty f**king fantastic right now.
Seriously… what do I feel for Mac? Is this love? Is it lust? Is it both, or maybe neither? Maybe it’s just a passing fancy and will pale over time.
I hope the latter isn’t true, but I’m prepared if that’s the case.
I’m just not sure that I’m prepared if it’s the former.
Chapter 28
“Dad… when can we go to Coney Island?” Gabe asks as he walks into my home office and grabs ahold of my arm.
Pushing away from the desk, I grab him around the waist and put him on my lap. Leaning my face into his neck, I blow a wet raspberry there that has him shrieking in laughter and trying to propel himself away from me because it tickles.
“Stop it,” he cries through his laughter, lurching left and right as I add some tickling to his ribs.
I finally let him slither off my lap and swat him on his butt. “I told you we’re waiting for Mac to get here, and then we’ll go. ”
Gabe puts his index finger in his mouth and stares at me with a shy smile. I had just told him about Mac not long ago, when I got this wild hair up my butt to invite her along, and he looks a bit unsure as to who Mac really is.
I told him this morning, “Gabe… I have a lady friend I’d like to invite with us to go to Coney Island today. Is that okay?”
He stared at me with those golden-brown eyes and asked, “You mean a friend like Anthony?”
I cringed inside, because Mac was so not like Marissa’s young f**k toy. Well, maybe at first, she was… but she’s not now.
“No… my friend… Mac, she’s just a very good friend that I like spending time with and I’d like you to meet her. Is that cool?”
“Will she stay the night like Anthony does?”
“No,” I say quickly. “She’s not that type of friend. ”
God, it was so f**king confusing… explaining Mac to my son, because she was that “type of friend”. I just didn’t want him to know that yet.
“She’ll just go to Coney Island today with us, but then she’ll go home. But if you like her, we can invite her some other time to hang with us. How’s that sound?”
Gabe grinned and nodded. I prayed silently, Please let him like her. If he doesn’t like her, I don’t know what I’ll do. Well, yeah… I do. It means I’d have to cut Mac loose, but not before I wouldn’t try desperately to get Gabe to like her.
This was all so spur of the moment. I hoped to God I was doing the right thing by having her meet him this early on. This had so much potential to blow up in my face, but it just seemed like the right thing to do at this time.
Just yesterday, as the workweek was closing down, I walked into Mac’s office. We had plans to go out to dinner, but Marissa called me around four PM to tell me she wanted to take an impromptu trip out of town with Anthony. I guess the make-up sex must be really good at this point.
She asked if I’d mind taking Gabe for the weekend. Of course, I had to clarify with her what exactly she meant. “Do I still get my regular time with him next weekend?” I asked.
“Yes,” she snapped at me. “Will that make you happy?”
“Immeasurably,” I assured her, because… two weekends in a row with Gabe? Fucking major win in my book!
The only downside was that I would have to cancel plans with Mac for the weekend. So, I knocked on her office door, and she looked up at me with a smile.
“Hey. ”
“Hey,” I said softly and then walked up to her for a kiss.
“You about ready to get the weekend started?” she asked as she pulled her lips away, wearing that starry-eyed look I’ve come to recognize after I kiss her.
“Actually… I’m going to have to cancel,” I told her reluctantly. Because, yes… I was damn reluctant to do it, because although I love spending time with Gabe, and he would always come first, I was going to miss the hell out of Mac. “Marissa asked if I could take Gabe this weekend, so I’m going to have to go pick him up. ”
Mac… being Mac… which means understanding, wonderful, kind, f**king hot as hell, best b**w j*b giver ever, and just a generally perfect woman, said, “That’s awesome. I mean… that you get Gabe… not that we can’t go out this weekend, but we can do that any time. Your times with Gabe are too few and precious. ”
I know I just stared at her for a moment… blank and confused, because honestly, for a brief moment, I sort of expected her to throw a fit. Or at the least make me feel guilty. Because, that’s sure as shit something Marissa would do.
But not Mac.
Never Mac.
She gave me a hug, then a sweet kiss, and told me that she’d see me at work next Monday. Told me to have a great time with Gabe.
She didn’t even ask me to call her. Just told me, and I quote, “You spend every waking minute loving on that boy. ”
God, my f**king heart cramps in appreciation just now thinking of it, and I’m convinced I’m turning into a pu**y.
So, I went and picked Gabe up, we made pizza at my apartment that night, played with his Legos for a while, and then watched a movie. He was zonked out by ten PM, and I put him to bed.
I thought about going to bed myself, but before I knew it, I was calling Mac. We talked for two hours and then had some amazing f**king phone sex that caused me to come spectacularly all over my clean sheets and ensured I’d have more laundry to do in the morning.
And when morning rolled around, I woke up missing Mac like I’d miss a lung, feeling all oxygen deprived and shit, so I called her.
I didn’t weigh out the pros and cons… I didn’t spend too much time thinking of any psychological repercussions—I just did it.
I invited her to go to Coney Island with Gabe and me.
She had asked, “Are you sure, Matt? You want me to meet Gabe?”
I never thought twice about it. “Absolutely. ”
“Well, if you’re sure,” she said, still a bit hesitantly. “I’d really love to meet him. And I really miss you, so bonus!”
I laughed, hung up, and then I went to find Gabe to explain Mac to him.
The doorbell rings, jarring me out of my reflection. My pulse starts hammering because that would be Mac and I’m nervous about her meeting Gabe, but I’m f**king excited as hell to see her. I hope to God I don’t pop wood the minute I lay my eyes on her, which has been known to randomly happen when she’s in the immediate vicinity.
“Hey buddy… how about going to let Mac in so I can finish just one more thing? I’ll be out in a minute. ”
“Okay,” he says, turning to run out of my office.
“Gabe?” I call out, and he turns to look at me. “Be nice. ”
He flashes me another grin and then bolts down the hallway. I really don’t have anything to finish up, but I wanted to give Mac some alone time with Gabe. I imagine she’s got to be pretty nervous and doesn’t need me overlooking their introduction. Besides, Gabe is so outgoing, he’ll have no problem entertaining her all on his own.
I log off my computer and sit back in my chair, listening to their conversation.
It’s f**king awesome. Gabe immediately takes her into the living room and talks her into playing Wii bowling with him.
“I’m really
good,” I hear him brag to Mac. “I beat Dad all the time, and I’ll probably beat you. ”
I listen as Gabe chatters away at Mac, trying to explain the game to her. She talks to him like a natural, bringing it down to a seven-year-old level, but also understanding that he’s bright and mature for his age, so she doesn’t treat him like a baby.
I hear Gabe yell out, “In your face, Mac,” and I can’t help the laugh that pops out of my mouth. I can hear Mac laugh too, and it’s such a beautiful sound that my smile doesn’t melt away.
After about twenty minutes, I get up and walk into the living room, where I’m treated to a phenomenal view of Mac as she bends over slightly, aiming up her bowling shot. Luckily, I do not pop wood but f**k, she has an amazing ass that I cannot wait to tap one day.
“Poor form, Mac,” I tease her, trying to keep the huskiness out of my voice so Gabe doesn’t pick up on any vibes. “I think you need to bend over a little more. ”
She shoots me a smirk over her shoulder, and then turns back to the TV. “Behave yourself. ”
I hop over the back of the couch and sit down, one arm resting over the back, and cross my legs. I then watch as Gabe totally smokes Mac and then mocks her with a little victory dance. And yes, he actually learned that move from me when I beat him at Candy Land once… I got up and danced around the table, yelling, “In your face,” to him. But damn… the kid always beats me and I was not about to let that victory go to waste.
Mac hands the Wii controller to my son with a laugh. “You are just too good, Gabe. I’ll never be able to beat you. ”
Gabe looks pleased as punch from the compliment, and then turns to me. “Want to play?”
Reaching out, I ruffle his hair. “Maybe later, buddy. Let’s get ready to head out to Coney Island. Go get your shoes on. ”
Gabe leaps up and yells, “Hooray,” before he takes off running to his room.
I watch Gabe’s retreating form before turning to Mac, crooking my finger at her. “Get over here and give me a proper hello. ”
She gives me a sexy smile and then she’s in my lap, letting me kiss her. While I have a brief moment of privacy, I make the kiss scorching hot before I pull away.
“So, what do you think of Gabe?”
“He’s wonderful,” she says with genuine affection. Then she about kills me when she says, “He’s you. ”
Mac sees a lot of things, and I respect her because of her perception. But that she sees my son in the same vein she sees me… that she thinks my son is like me… well, in this moment, I think I may truly love Mac. Our eyes hold one another and something passes between us… an understanding maybe.
Gabe comes flying back into the room, and because kids have no concept of personal space, the moment is broken as he launches himself right at Mac and me
“I need you to tie my shoes, Dad,” he says after smacking hard into my ribs and landing an elbow against Mac’s shoulder.
“Nope. You know how to do it,” I tell him firmly.
“I forget how,” he pouts.
“Well… I heard that in order to get into Coney Island, you have to prove you can tie your shoes. If you can’t do it, we can’t go. ”
Gabe doesn’t pause long to see if maybe I’m bluffing before he pushes away from us and puts on his shoes, tying perfect bows.
Mac chuckles, and I shrug my shoulders. “All the negotiation skills I learned as a lawyer have been invaluable raising a child. ”
Gabe jumps up from the couch and grabs my hand. “Come on, Dad. Let’s go. ”
I stand up, easily bringing Mac’s body up with me, letting her slither down my front as I set her on the floor. Fuck, that felt good and I start to pop a little wood, so I set her away from me. This weekend is going to be torture not being able to f**k her.
Confessions of a Litigation God Page 38
