We walked on together, back through the many rooms and passageways of the Hall, past magnificent works of art that we all just took for granted. Rembrandts. Goyas. Schalckens. The Hall is stuffed with priceless paintings and sculptures and precious items, donated by princes and powers and governments down the centuries. They’ve always been very grateful for everything the family does for them. And then there were the displays of weapons and all the other spoils of war we’ve accumulated. The family might not be very sentimental about its past, but it never throws away anything useful.
"Someone is testing us," said James after a while. "Testing their traitor’s information, seeing how far they can get before we stop them. But who? The Stalking Shrouds? The Loathly Ones? The Cold Eidolon? The Mandrake Recorporation?" He shook his head slowly. "There’s so many of them, and so few of us." And then he smiled at me, his old damn-them-all-to-hell smile, and clapped me on the shoulder again. "Let them come. Let them all come. We’re Droods, and we were born to kick supernatural arse. Right?"
"Damn right," I said.
CHAPTER FIVE
Remote Viewing
When the Sarjeant-at-Arms finally came looking for me, Uncle James and I were standing before an old caricature by Boz of good old Jacob in his prime, sharing a conversation with Gladstone and Disraeli, outside Parliament. (One of those revered prime ministers was actually a Drood, on his mother’s side, but I can never remember which.) God alone knows what the three of them were discussing, but given the expressions on Disraeli’s and Gladstone’s faces, Jacob was almost certainly telling them one of his famously filthy jokes. Jacob could shock the knickers off a nun at forty paces. Both James and I heard the Sarjeant approaching, but we deliberately kept our attention fixed on the piece of art until the Sarjeant was obliged to announce his presence with a somewhat undignified cough. James and I turned unhurriedly and looked down our noses at him.
"Well?" James drawled in that infuriatingly snotty polite voice of his. He’d been known to start bar fights with less. He even threw in a raised eyebrow. "Do you have any information yet as to how such an appalling assault was able to get past all of our legendary security systems to attack the Heart?"
Give the man his due; the Sarjeant just stared impassively back. "An investigation into the security breach is ongoing, sir."
"That’ll be a No, then. Anything else?"
The Sarjeant-at-Arms gave James a meaningful look, and James nodded, knowing he’d pushed the situation as far as he could. He turned his back on the Sarjeant and smiled warmly at me. "It’s time I was on my way, Eddie. The ungodly await, and there shall be beatings. Another exciting adventure lies ahead in the scurrilous backstreets and bars of fabulous Shanghai."
"I could spit," I said feelingly. "I never get missions like that. I suppose it’s going to be all good booze, bad women, and lots of gratuitous violence?"
"Ah, yes," said James. "The same old, same old…"
We laughed, he crushed my hand in his, and off he went, striding grandly down the gallery in search of danger and diversion like the accomplished adventurer he was. The Gray Fox always was the best of us. The Sarjeant-at-Arms reminded me of his presence with another of his weighty coughs, and reluctantly I allowed him to lead me back through the Hall to meet with the family Matriarch.
It turned out she was down in the War Room, deciding the fate of the world again, so we had to tramp through most of the north wing to reach the heavily reinforced steel door at the back of what used to be the old ballroom. It took us three passWords, a retina scan, and a not entirely unfriendly frisking before the Sarjeant and I were even allowed to approach the door, but eventually it opened and we descended a very basic stairway cut into the stone wall itself, with no railing and a frankly intimidating open drop on the other side. The electric lighting was almost painfully bright, and extra security measures were already in place, so that glowing force fields and shimmering mystical screens opened before us as they acknowledged our torcs, and then sealed firmly behind us. The usual guard goblins were in place, sitting in their stone recesses; squat and ugly things with a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp. They weren’t much bigger than a football, with long spindly arms and legs, but they could be quite spectacularly vicious when roused. I’d once seen a goblin run down a werewolf and eat it alive, and you don’t forget things like that in a hurry.
While waiting for a chance to express their utterly vile and nasty natures, the goblins whiled away the time by working on crossword puzzles from the Times. Goblins love word games. One of them stopped me to ask for a seventeen-letter word for bad government beginning with an m and got really quite upset when I came straight back with maladministration. The poor thing didn’t realise he was doing yesterday’s crossword.
At the bottom of the stairs, we both had to place our hands on an electronic scanner before we were allowed into the great vault that held the family War Room. The Sarjeant led me inside and then insisted I stay put by the door while he went to inform the Matriarch that I’d arrived. I folded my arms stiffly across my chest and sneered after him, but I didn’t push the point. There was a gorgon squatting next to the door, head down, wrapped in leathery wings like an enveloping cloak. She looked like she was sleeping, but I knew she wasn’t, even though several of the snakes were making a game attempt at snoring. Entering the War Room without following exact rules of procedure would lead to the gorgon opening her eyes and looking at you, and then the family would have another surprised-looking statue for the back gardens.
The War Room was a vast auditorium carved from solid stone. In here we saw everything, or at least everything that mattered. All four walls were covered with state-of-the-art display screens showing every country of the world, with little lights blinking to indicate cities and other places where members of the family were at work. Green lights for a successfully completed mission, blue for certain individuals currently on the family hit list, and the occasional purple signifying a major cock-up and its equally large cover-up operation. Potential trouble spots were marked with amber lights, current threats with red. There was a hell of a lot of amber and red showing all across the world, and a lot more red than amber, compared to ten years ago. Hell, even Lithuania had a red light.
The family sat in long rows, concentrating on their workstations despite the hustle and bustle all around them. Dozens of farcasters caressed crystal balls or peered into scrying pools, studying the world’s problems from afar, while softly murmuring their findings into hands-free headsets. Technicians worked their computers, worrying out useful data, fingers darting across keyboards with dazzling speed. Agents may operate alone in the field, but each and every one of us is backed up by a staff of hundreds. And not just in the War Room. Information retrieval experts are constantly at work in the newsroom (usually referred to by those who work their eight-hour shifts in that windowless hole as the Pit), sifting through all the world’s media and cross-referencing the official version with the mountain of information that comes in every day from our worldwide web of spies and informers. The family relies on these dedicated researchers to spot trouble forming before it gets out of hand, as well as keep track of certain individuals who like to think they can pass through the world without leaving a trace. These researchers could tell you exactly where to find a needle in a haystack, and make a pretty good guess about which way it would be pointing. They knew everything there was to know about the world, except what it was like to live in it. They were far too valuable to ever be allowed to leave the Hall.
At any given moment, hundreds of Droods are operating in hot spots all across the world. And they work alone, because agents in the field can’t be viewed from afar. Their torcs hide them from us, as well as our enemies. That’s why only the most trusted in the family are ever allowed to become field agents. And why I’m always kept on such a short leash. The War Room has to wait for field agents to report in by traditional means, often on the run, and then provide them with as much information and backup as p
ossible. Every agent is supported by thousands of researchers, advisors, experts in the more arcane areas of science and magic, and an around-the-clock communications staff.
Field agents gather information, defuse pressure points, and take direct action when necessary. (We prefer to work with a quiet word and a subtle threat, but the family’s never been afraid to get its hands dirty.) But every one of us knows that it’s the backup people at the Hall who make our job possible.
The family has raised remote viewing, in all its forms, to something of an art. And since we’ve always seen both science and magic as just two sides of the same useful coin, we work hard to stay in the forefront of all the latest advances. In fact, our research labs work every hour there is to make damned sure we’re always one step ahead. We’ve turned out weapons, and answers to weapons, that most of the world doesn’t even dream exist yet. We use whatever we have to, to keep the world safe.
I was surprised, and just a little alarmed, to see how many red alerts were showing; warnings of major threats not as yet narrowed down to any particular country or group or individual. And when I say major threat, I mean a clear and present danger to the world. I’d never known the War Room to seem so busy, with people crowded around every display, every computer, every paper-strewn table. There was a general susurrus of combined murmured voices, almost like being in a church. (Raised voices are discouraged; they breed agitation.) Messengers were constantly hurrying in and out, bearing notes and reports and vital updates. And fresh pots of tea. The family runs on tea. And Jaffa Cakes.
No one even glanced in my direction.
The Matriarch was sitting at the main mission table, stiff-backed and coldly attentive as always, studying an endless series of urgent reports as they were handed to her. Some she initialed, approving an action; others she sent back for more detail. Messengers waited in line for a chance to push a paper in front of her, or murmur confidentially in her ear, before hurrying off with new instructions. The Matriarch never allowed herself to seem hurried or worried, and she never raised her voice. If some especially harried messenger did overstep the mark, by questioning a detail or insisting on the importance of his message, one look from the Matriarch’s cold gray eyes was all it took, and the messenger would practically break his back bowing and scraping as he hurried away from her.
The Sarjeant-at-Arms advised the Matriarch of my arrival, and she turned immediately to look at me. I stared calmly back, not even bothering to unfold my arms. She beckoned imperiously, and I ambled across the War Room to join her, deliberately not hurrying. The Matriarch gestured sharply for everyone to withdraw, and they all fell back a decent distance so she and I could talk in private. The Sarjeant looked actually outraged at being lumped in with everyone else, but he went. One didn’t argue with the Matriarch. She stood up to greet me, wearing her usual cold and disapproving expression.
The family Matriarch. Martha Drood. Tall, elegant, and more royal than any queen. In her mid-sixties now, she dressed like country aristocracy, all twinset tweeds and pearls and understated makeup. She wore her long gray hair piled up in a sculpture on top of her head. She’d been beautiful in her day, and her strong bone structure ensured she was striking even now. Like the Ice Queen of fable, who drives a splinter of her ice into your heart while you’re young and helpless, so you have no choice but to love her forever. She didn’t offer me a hand to shake, and I didn’t offer to kiss her on the cheek. Honours even. I nodded to her.
"Hello, Grandmother."
The family has always been led by a Matriarch; it’s a holdover from our Druidic heritage. Martha is descended from a long line of warrior queens, and it shows. Her word is law. When I was a child, in family history class, I pointed out to the teacher that if she was our queen, the rest of us were just her drones. I got shouted at a lot for that. Technically, the Matriarch has absolute power over the family. In practice, she is very firmly advised by a council of twelve drawn from the foremost members of the family. You have to achieve something really quite remarkable for the family even to make the short list. Matriarchs who don’t or won’t listen to their councils don’t tend to last long. In extreme cases, accidents have been known to happen, and a new Matriarch takes over. The family can be extremely ruthless, when it has to.
Martha’s second husband, Alistair, stood diffidently at her side, as always, ready for whatever she might need him to do. Tall and sturdy, he dressed like a gentleman farmer; the kind that never ever gets his expensive boots dirty. He was ten years younger than Martha and handsome enough, I suppose, in a weak and unfinished sort of way, like the investment broker who assures you that the deal he’s proposing is absolutely guaranteed to make you rich. I nodded briefly to him.
"Hello, Alistair."
He was Principal Consort of the family, by long tradition, but I was damned if I’d call him Grandfather. My real grandfather, Martha’s first husband, Arthur, died fighting the Kiev Conspiracy in 1957. I never even knew him.
Alistair and I never did get along. Officially, his function in the family was as personal advisor to the Matriarch, but that was just something to keep him busy, so he wouldn’t realise he was just a glorified gopher. He’d never been on a field mission in his life, to his and everyone else’s relief. Before he married Martha he was something in the City, but only because he inherited it. Word was, the City was glad to be rid of him. The whole family knew he was useless, but Grandmother loved him, so out of respect for her no one ever said anything. While making very sure Alistair was never allowed near anything important. Or breakable. There’s one like Alistair in every family.
Martha studied me coldly. "It’s been quite a while since you graced us with your presence, Edwin."
I shrugged. "I like to keep busy. And it’s not as if there’s anything here I miss."
"After all this time, you still blame the family for the deaths of your mother and your father," said Martha. "You should be proud of their sacrifice."
"I am," I said. "But no one’s ever going to send me to my death on an operation that wasn’t planned properly. I run my own missions."
"You serve the family," Alistair said, trying for Martha’s frosty tone and not bringing it off.
"I serve the family," I said. "In my own way."
"The people responsible for the inadequate planning of that mission were punished long ago," said Martha. "You have to let it go, Edwin. She was my daughter too." She made a deliberate effort to change the subject, looking me up and down. "What is that you’re wearing, Edwin? Is this really the best you could do on your first visit to the Hall in ten years?"
"Sorry," I said. "But I’ve been recently diagnosed as fashion intolerant. I can’t wear anything good, in case I develop style."
She looked at me. "You know I don’t find humour funny, Edwin. And stand up straight. Do you want to develop round shoulders? And when are you going to get married and give the family children? Like everyone else, you have a duty to provide the family with fresh blood, to keep us strong and vital. We have presented you with several lists of perfectly respectable candidates from suitable families. Any one of whom would make you a good match. You’re getting a little too old to be so choosy."
"That is something else I’ll decide for myself," I said firmly.
"What was wrong with dear Stephanie Mainwearing?" said Martha.
"Delightful creature, I thought."
"Oh, come on, Grandmother. If she was any more inbred, she’d be her own sister."
"Alice Little?"
"Lives in a world of her own and only comes out for mealtimes. Lots of mealtimes."
"Penelope Creighton?"
"You have got to be kidding! She’s slept with more women than I have! Don’t your people do even basic research anymore?"
"Well…are you at least seeing anyone at the moment, Edwin?"
I considered telling her about Silicon Lily but rose above the temptation. "No one special, Grandmother," I said.
"I hope you’re being…careful,
Edwin," said Alistair in an even more snotty voice than usual. "You know how the family feels about bastards."
I looked at him for a moment, and then said, "I’m always careful, Alistair."
"After all," said Alistair, "whoever you eventually settle on, she has to be acceptable to the family."
"Like you, Alistair?" I said.
Martha decided to change the subject again. "You have been summoned back to the Hall, Edwin, because I have a very important and very urgent mission for you."
"I had sort of gathered that," I said. "Can I just ask what could be so important that I had to be dragged all the way back here just to discuss it? What was wrong with the usual channels?"
"It’s a matter of security," said Martha. "It has to be you, because everyone else is busy. Busier than ever before. You can see the boards; the whole family is stretched to its limits. And you saw what just happened in the Sanctity. Once, such an attack would have been unthinkable, but now the whole family is under threat. All our best efforts have to go into defending the family and identifying our attackers. The mission I have for you now, Edwin, is your chance to prove your worth at last and come back to the bosom of the family. Carry out this mission successfully, and you will have earned a seat on the council." She paused, considering her words carefully. "Some of us have come to believe that there is a traitor, perhaps at the very heart of the family. I am no longer sure whom I can trust. Even my own council has become…divided, and quarrelsome, of late. As an outsider, you might see things the rest of us cannot. Prove yourself with this mission, Edwin. I would value your voice in my council."
I just stood there and looked at her. I really hadn’t expected that. The council was where family policy was decided. Where all the decisions that mattered were made. It had honestly never even occurred to me that I might end up on it some day. I wasn’t even sure I wanted such an honour, or such responsibility, but I had to admit I was tempted. If only so I could use my new exalted position to identify and help others like myself in the family.
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