The Man with the Golden Torc sh-1

by Simon R. Green

  The Blue Fairy took up his fishing rod, checked the hook was secure and the line was running smoothly, and then dropped his line into the glowing golden pool. The hook disappeared, followed by more and more line as the Blue Fairy kept feeding it in.

  "How far down does it go?" said Molly.

  "All the way," said the Blue Fairy.

  "Some questions, you just know you’re not going to get an answer that helps," said Molly.

  "Elf blood has many useful properties," the Blue Fairy said calmly.

  "Even diluted, degraded blood like mine. All elves have an built-in talent for travelling. They can walk sideways from the sun, access other planes of existence, enter dimensions you and even I couldn’t even conceive, let alone operate in. But the blood itself is enough to open doors and allow me to go fishing. Sometimes just for the fun of it, fishing at random for whatever’s there…sometimes to order, for a price. If I concentrate hard enough, I can find pretty much anything…and what you need, Eddie, is a Confusulum."

  "A what?" I said.

  "A Confusulum," the Blue Fairy said patiently. "Don’t ask me what it is is, because I’ve no idea. That’s the point. It doesn’t actually change anything, just confuses the hell out of everyone. It works on the uncertainty principle that nothing is necessarily what or where it seems to be. I found the first one years ago, quite by accident, and it scared the crap out of me. Everyone needs some certainties in their life. I threw it back in, but something about it stuck in my mind. The Droods’ family defences are based around certainties: friend or foe, permitted entry or not, that sort of thing. But the Confusulum will take all those certainties out of the equation. The Hall’s defences will be so confused they won’t know whether they’re operating or not, whether you’re permitted entry or not, even whether you’re actually there or not. They’ll be so confused you’ll be able to walk right through them while they’re still struggling to make up their minds. By the time anyone at the Hall notices that their defences have just had a major nervous breakdown, you’ll be in.

  "The Confusulum isn’t one hundred percent guaranteed; its uncertainty even applies to its own nature. So there’s no telling exactly what its effects will be or how long they’ll last. But since I’m the only one ever to encounter a Confusulum, you can be sure your family have no specific defences against it."

  He fished randomly for a while, just getting himself in the mood, and Molly and Jane and I sat more or less patiently around the golden pool, watching. I was having trouble getting used to the idea that I could be going home so soon, and that my family’s notorious protections could be brushed aside so easily. And all because of a little man nursing a grudge and just waiting to be asked.

  The first thing he pulled out of the pool was a seven-league boot with a hole in its soul, followed by a small black lacquered puzzle box, a stuffed moomintroll, and a statue of a black bird. The Blue Fairy threw them all back, and then stared into the pool with a look of fierce concentration on his face. His eyes bulged, and his lips drew back from his gritted teeth in a fixed snarl. Beads of sweat popped out all over his straining face. His line jerked suddenly, sending slow ripples across the surface of the glowing pool. The Blue Fairy let out a long breath and began to slowly reel his line back in. He took his time, keeping a light but constant pressure on the line, staring so intently he wasn’t even breathing anymore. And finally he brought something up out of the golden pool.

  I couldn’t tell you what it was, exactly. It clung to the hook, writhing and twisting like a living thing, even though I knew on some deep instinctive level that it wasn’t alive and never could be. It changed size and colour, shape and texture, from moment to moment, its dimensions snapping in and out and back and forth. It looked like all the things you see out of the corners of your eyes when you’ve just woken up and you’re still half asleep.

  "Quick!" said the Blue Fairy, his face contorted with concentration.

  "I brought it here for you, Eddie, so it’s up to you to give it a shape in this dimension. Impose a single nature on it, so it can survive here. The link you make will mean it will serve you and only you. But do it quickly, before it becomes something we can’t bear to see with only human eyes."

  I concentrated on the first image that came to me. It just popped into my mind: a simple circular badge I’d seen in an old head shop in Denmark Street years ago, a white badge bearing the legend Go Lemmings Go. And just like that, the twisting unnerving thing on the hook was gone and the badge was resting on the palm of my hand. It looked and felt perfectly normal, perfectly innocent. I pinned it carefully on the lapel of my jacket.

  "All the things you could have chosen," said Molly. "Everything from Excalibur to the Holy Hand Grenade of Saint Antioch, and you had to choose that. The workings of your mind remain a complete mystery to me, Eddie."

  "That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me," I said, and we both smiled.

  "By any chance, are the two of you an item?" Janissary Jane said suddenly.

  "We haven’t decided yet," I said.

  "We’re still working on it," said Molly.

  "We’re…partners, on this particular enterprise."

  "Partners in crime."

  "Or possibly a suicide pact."

  "You two deserve each other," said Janissary Jane, shaking her head.

  None of us had noticed that the Blue Fairy had inadvertently allowed his line to drop back into the glowing pool. He cried out abruptly as something below grabbed the hook and tugged hard on the line. The Blue Fairy was almost pulled forward, and the line whirred through the reel until it ran all the way. The Blue Fairy was jerked forward again but hung on grimly.

  "What have you got?" I said. "What were you concentrating on?"

  "I wasn’t thinking about anything! I didn’t catch this; it caught me!"

  I hit the button on my reverse watch, and nothing happened. I hit the button again, and still nothing. I shook my wrist vigorously.

  "Oh, shit," I said.

  "It sounds so much more helpless when he says it," said Janissary Jane.

  "He’s had a lot of practice recently," said Molly. "What’s wrong, Eddie?"

  "I appear to have broken the reverse watch," I said. "Or exhausted its batteries, or whatever the hell the damn thing runs on. I think I asked too much of it when I forced it to save you."

  "So it’s my fault?" said Molly.

  "Always," I said, smiling.

  We all looked on as the Blue Fairy wrestled with the fishing rod, the taut line jerking back and forth across the pool. It snapped abruptly, and the Blue Fairy stumbled back. And something huge and long and inhumanly strong burst up out of the golden pool, reaching for him. It was a single tentacle, dark purple in colour and lined with rows of suckers full of grinding teeth. More and more of it burst up out of the pool, snapping back and forth.

  "Get out of here!" yelled the Blue Fairy. "I’ll handle this!"

  "Don’t be a damned fool!" Janissary Jane yelled back at him. "You can’t handle this on your own!"

  "It came through my blood," the Blue Fairy said grimly. "So only I can put it back down. Go. You’ve got things to do. Things that matter. This…is my business. No damned thing from the vasty deeps is going to get the better of me in my own home! Will you all please get the hell out of here, so I can concentrate? And Eddie, make your family pay! For what they did to you, and what they did to me."

  More and more of the tentacle was forcing its way into the room, yards and yards of it, straining against the edges of the pool that contained it. The Blue Fairy threw his fishing rod aside and sketched ancient signs and sigils on the air with dancing hands, leaving bright incandescent trails on the air. He was chanting in Elvish in a form so old I couldn’t follow one word in ten. Magic spat and crackled all around him, and for the first time, he was smiling. A cold, inhuman smile.

  Molly and Janissary Jane and I left him there, standing on the edge of the golden pool, defying the monstrous thing that had come fishing f
or him. I left him there, because I had important things to do, and because…it was the only gift I could give him, for his help. A chance to stand alone against a fearsome foe and either win back his pride…or gain the good death he craved. I looked back at him, one last time, before I closed the door. He stood tall and proud and powerful in his magic; and for the first time it wasn’t difficult at all to see the elf in him.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  You Can Go Home Again (Provided You Carry a Really Big Stick)

  Molly and Janissary Jane and I stood in the street outside the liquor store, looking up at the Blue Fairy’s window. The vivid flashes of light had stopped, and it had all gone very quiet. People passed by, paying us no attention. Thinking this was just another day, no different than any other. They didn’t know there was another world, a more dangerous world, that they would see if they would only stop and look. Molly and Janissary Jane and I looked up at a silent, empty window and finally turned away.

  "Should we…?" said Molly.

  "No," said Janissary Jane. "Either way, it’s over. Finished."

  "It’s time to go home," I said. "For I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep."

  "I love it when you talk literary," said Molly.

  "Eddie…" Janissary Jane said. "I’m sorry, but I’m not going with you. I know my limitations. Fighting demons in Hell dimensions is one thing; taking on your family in the seat of their power…that’s way out of my league. I’d just get in your way. So…I think I’ll sit this one out, if that’s all right with you."

  "It’s all right, Jane," I said. "I understand. Trust me; if I didn’t have to do this, I wouldn’t be doing it either." I looked at Molly. "You don’t have to do this, Molly. My family probably doesn’t even know you’re involved. You could still walk away. I’d understand."

  "Hell with that," Molly said cheerfully. "I’ve been dreaming of sticking it to the Droods where they live for years. Besides, you wouldn’t last ten minutes without me to back you up, and you know it."

  "Thank you, Molly," I said. "That means a lot to me."

  "Just promise me one thing," she said. She held my gaze with hers, fierce and demanding. "Promise me that we’re going back to tear the place down. Promise me you won’t go soft and beg them to take you back."

  "Not a chance in hell," I said, meeting her gaze. "This isn’t about what my family did to me anymore. It’s about what they’ve done to everyone."

  "You’ve come a long way, Eddie," said Molly. "I wish…I could do something to help you. To save you from what’s inside you. All those years I spent trying to kill you, and now something else is beating me to it…I would save you if I could, Eddie. You do know that?"

  "I know," I said. "But…I’ve lived more these last few days with you than in all those years on my own."

  "Oh, get a room, you two," said Janissary Jane. "I’m out of here before you start comparing favourite poems."

  "We are not an item!" said Molly.

  "Definitely not," I said solemnly.

  "Yeah, right," said Janissary Jane. "I’ll take the black car, and visit my local union branch. See if I can organise some direct action against Manifest Destiny for allowing Archie Leech to use me as a weapon in their fight. The mercenaries’ guild looks after its own. And we’ve always come down very hard on unfair competition from amateurs. If secret societies want to build up their own private armies, they should come to us. And pay the going rate. So…Eddie, Molly. This is good-bye. Good luck, guys. You’re going to need it. And Eddie…thank you. For saving me from Leech. You could have just destroyed my body and got rid of him that way. It’s what most people would have done."

  "I’m not most people," I said.

  "Got that right," said Molly.

  We all laughed a little, and then Janissary Jane turned and walked away without looking back. She’s always been a sentimental sort, for a mercenary. Molly and I watched her drive away in the big black car, and then we stood together on the pavement outside the liquor store and looked at each other. I really didn’t know what to say to her. Were we an item? Were we…a couple? This was all new to me. Unfamiliar territory. I admired Molly. Liked her, respected her, enjoyed her company…and I risked my life to save hers without even thinking about it. Could this be love, come to me late in life, and unexpected? The family allows its agents to have friends, even lovers, but never loves. Marriages are decided by the family. It’s just another way of controlling us. Love is something that comes afterwards, if you’re lucky. Duty and family must always come first.

  Because we protect the world. I’d kill them all, for that lie.

  And because I of all people know my family aren’t fit to rule the world. They had to be stopped, brought down, and humbled. While I was still strong enough to do it. I might not be able to save myself, but I could still save the world. One last time.

  "I know what you’re thinking," said Molly.

  "Rather doubt that," I said.

  "Let’s just say I’m as much in the dark as you are," said Molly, her hand resting gently on my right arm. "You’re a good man, Eddie. I think I could become very fond of you…in time. But we don’t have much time, do we? So let’s just do what we have to and worry about other things afterwards. If there is an afterwards." She smiled suddenly. "Hell, your family will probably kill us both anyway. So let’s just concentrate on what we’re going to do next."

  "Yes," I said. "Let’s do that."

  "Starting with that thing on your lapel," said Molly, leaning in close for a better look at the badge. "The Confusulum. Any idea how you work it?"

  I frowned, peering down at the badge. "The Blue Fairy didn’t say. And there wasn’t exactly an opportunity to ask for an instruction manual." I tapped the badge with a fingertip. "Hello? Is there anyone in there?"

  And just like that, I made contact with something. Not with my mind; more like with my soul. I could feel something inside my head and inside my heart; not human, not in any way human, but large and laughing, playful and curious. The Confusulum found everything marvellously funny, from this fascinating new world it was in to its own form and nature. It was alive and not alive, more than alive…As much a force and a purpose as a person. This new world, and all the people in it, were just a fascinating novelty to the Confusulum, to be enjoyed and played with for a while. Until it got bored. The Confusulum would serve me for as long as it remained amused, and then it would go somewhere else and do something else. It tried to show me what, but I couldn’t understand or appreciate any of it. The Confusulum laughed again, like a child playing with a brand-new toy, and broke the contact. I looked at Molly.

  "Well?" she said.

  "I think it’ll do whatever we want," I said cautiously. "It’s…very strange. I don’t know if it’ll confuse our enemies, but it baffles the hell out of me."

  Molly sniffed. "Should have given it to me. I’d soon teach it to sit up and beg. I’m used to dealing with magical items with minds of their own. You have to show them who’s boss."

  "Oh, I’m pretty sure it knows who’s boss," I said.

  "Look, can it help us with our most urgent problem? Namely, how we’re supposed to get to the Hall? All the usual and unusual ways out of London are bound to be closely monitored now, either by your family or Manifest Destiny, and I don’t have nearly enough energy left in me to summon a spatial portal. If only I hadn’t had to smash the Manx Cat to save your life. I could have drawn a lot of power from that statue."

  "So this is all my fault, then?"

  "Everything is your fault, Drood, until proven otherwise."

  "All right," I said patiently. "Let’s start with that. Confusulum, can you help Molly get her power back?"

  Oh, sure! said a happy voice in my ear. Easy peasy!

  The badge on my lapel pulsed with an otherworldly light, and all around us the world became uncertain. The Confusulum exerted its unique nature and confused the issue so much that the universe itself wasn’t sure whether Molly had her power or not.
It was as though someone had nudged the universe in the ribs so that it skipped a beat, and just like that…the world was subtly different. Magic spat and crackled on the air all around Molly as power surged through her, and she laughed aloud with sheer exhilaration. She swept her hands back and forth, and shimmering trails of energy followed her hands. Molly’s face was flushed with an almost sexual excitement, and she looked incredibly alive, full to bursting with all the energies of the wild woods.

  I thought she’d never looked more beautiful.

  (There were side effects to the change. Posters in the shop windows were suddenly different colours, or had different names. Red roses bloomed in the gutters. And a sheep walked solemnly backwards down the street.)

  "Damn!" Molly said, grinning from ear to ear. "This is…amazing! I feel like I could take on the whole damned world and make it cry like a baby! You want a spatial portal, Eddie? I feel like I could transport this whole damned street from one end of the country to the other!"

  "Actually, I think that might be a bit conspicuous," I said in what I hoped was a calm, reasonable, and very soothing voice. "And anyway, we can’t risk using a spatial portal to get us to the Hall. My family’s defences would detect that. No, our only chance is to sneak in and take my family by surprise."

  "You said you wanted to bring your family down!"

  "I do, I do! But even with you back at your best, there’s still no way we can hope to go head-to-head with my family and survive. You know that, Molly."

  She scowled. "All right, maybe I do. So, how are we going to get to the Hall?"

  "We use the Confusulum," I said. "If it can confuse the whole universe about whether you have magic, it can confuse the world about where we really are. Right, badge?"