“That’s not true,” I shot back, my lower back pressed against my desk.
Logan moved forward like a predator stalking its prey. “I make you feel like you’re losing control and you fucking hate it.”
He was closing in on me now and I was suddenly struggling to breathe. My pulse ratcheted up a few notches and, on an inhale, I caught a whiff of his shampoo. Musky and woodsy, it practically screamed Logan.
“You want to know a secret, J?”
“What?” I asked, breathless.
He suddenly turned very serious. “You make me feel like I’m losing control, too.”
“Logan-” I started and stopped when he cupped my cheek in one wide palm. He tilted my face up, his nose brushing mine. I could feel his breath on my lips and it was fucking intoxicating. “We can’t-”
“We can,” he interrupted me, his voice gravelly and dangerously low. “We’re going to, Juliette. I’m going to make you completely lose control. Trust me, you’ll love it.”
I was about to refuse, about to tell him that I absolutely would not lose control, but I barely had a chance to breathe before his mouth covered mine. And then he was kissing me and pressing his body against mine and I couldn’t think.
Logan slanted his mouth over mine, tucking my top lip between both of his. One hand cupped my cheek and the other slid down, gripping my denim clad hip. His movements were slow as he tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss, his tongue licking at the seam of my lips. I gasped and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth deep, so deep that I couldn’t help but moan against him, my breath mingling with his.
I could have stopped it if I really wanted to. I could have placed my hands on his hard chest and pushed him away. But I didn’t. Because I was spiraling out of control as our tongues tangled and I was losing my mind as I felt him grow hard against me. Logan was right, he was going to make me lose control, but he had no idea about the fire he was igniting within me. He had no idea how many nights I’d gone to sleep fantasizing about his lips on mine and his hands tearing my clothes from my body.
He had no fucking clue.
I stood up on tiptoe and pressed myself harder against him, my hands fisting in the soft material of his hoodie. Logan growled into my mouth, nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth hard enough to make me cry out. I felt him smirk against my lips before he was back at it again, sucking my tongue in a way that was so erotic it had my knees threatening to buckle.
A kiss. That was all it was and it had me on the verge of coming so hard I couldn’t see straight.
“You want to know what I’m going to do?” he asked me but continued to talk before I had the chance to give him a breathless answer. “I’m going to sit your pretty ass on this desk and eat you like I haven’t eaten in days.”
My hips involuntarily jerked against him and he gave a low, dangerous laugh, his hands sliding down to cup my buttocks. “Logan…”
“I think you can say my name louder than that, don’t you?” he whispered, lips trailing down my jaw to the slender column of my throat. “I can feel your pulse, you’re all worked up.”
It was true, I was all worked up and could barely bring enough oxygen into my lungs to take a breath. I felt as though I was vibrating against him and it would have been embarrassing if I wasn’t already so far gone. But I was too lost in the taste and feel of him to care.
“Juliette!” a voice that was way too feminine to be Logan’s called out.
I jerked back and pushed him at the same time, hearing footsteps come closer and closer to the closed door. Logan looked wild, untamed as his chest rose and feel with the deep breaths he was pulling in. I was sure that I had a similar, if not identical, look as Violet walked in without knocking.
“Hey, Rose just- uh,” she looked between me and Logan, eyes narrowed. “Everything okay here?”
“Perfect,” we responded in unison.
Chapter 8
W hy did I do that? I thought for the umpteenth time that night, sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in my lap. My cheeks flamed every time I thought about the way my mouth fit perfectly against Logan’s.
My mind had been scattered for the rest of the day. Logan left soon after, but not before telling me he would stop by tonight. Violet’s eyes were filled with unspoken questions and mirth as she looked between the both of us. I couldn’t believe I’d lost it like that. So wrapped up in another human being, an all consuming ache that I needed to have him under me, over me, wrapped around me and inside me. Logan had dominated those tantalizing few minutes. If Violet hadn’t walked in then I was positive I would have let him fulfil his dark promise of placing me on my desk and allowing his wicked tongue to have its way with me.
I shook my head, breathy as I once again got wrapped up in thoughts of him. My control was slipping and I felt like I was falling. This was uncharted territory and I was so out of my element.
“Why did I do that?” I asked Sadie as she slept on her bed that was next to the small couch I had.
She simply snorted and rested her head against her front paws.
A part of me wanted to shut things down with Logan. Fast. It would be a complication neither of us needed and I knew for a fact that he didn’t have any problem picking up women and taking them home. I was plain, I was content in my quiet life and I didn’t want to get wrapped up and catch a case of the feelings for someone who could and would eventually hurt me. Logan was fun, incandescent in a way that was almost scary, and loved adrenaline in a way that I certainly did not.
But there was another part of me, deep down and usually locked and deadbolted and chained away so that no one could get to it, that wanted all of that with Logan. The sense of adventure, of letting go. There was a part of me that craved him and wanted him. It scared me as I thought about throwing caution to the wind with a man who gave me such a rush. But it was oh so tempting to do it anyway. A part of me felt fiery and alive whenever I had an encounter with him. It didn’t matter if we were arguing or kissing or eating breakfast at his kitchen table. There was something there. So why not explore it?
I was so mixed up about it that at first I didn’t hear hushed, angry voices outside. I was staring off into space when someone spat out of river of expletives and then I was moving the thin, silver curtain aside.
Two silhouettes stood on the dock, one very familiar and one not. I watched as Logan stood with his back straight, visibly tense as he squared off against a man who was shorter and stockier. Their voices were hushed and I couldn’t hear what was being said, but based on the tight set of Logan’s perfect mouth it wasn’t a pleasant conversation.
What possessed me to get up and go to the door, I have no idea. But all of a sudden I was yanking on my beat up adidas and opening the front door, letting the chill from outside wrap around me.
It was dark out and the ocean looked black and dangerous as it slapped against the dock, an eerie soundtrack to whatever was unfolding with Logan. Even though it was past eight and the sky was dark I saw when his eyes met mine over the man’s shoulder. I opened my mouth to speak when he gave a subtle shake of his head.
Apparently, it wasn’t as subtle as either of us thought because soon enough the man was turning around and looking at me. He couldn’t have been older than thirty and he had a thick, tree trunk like neck. His skin was pockmarked, the angry look on his face making me wonder what I just stepped into.
He was one of Conlon’s buddies. I didn’t even have to ask, I just felt the tension in the air and knew.
“Why don’t you come over here, sweetheart? Let’s talk,” he said in a raspy, smoker’s voice.
“Jimmy, I’m not someone you want to fuck with. You should know that,” Logan said, his voice low and calm. Dangerous. “Juliette, go back inside. I’ll be over soon.”
He told me to go inside and I should have. But my feet felt cemented to my welcome mat and my eyes met his. I could see it, the barely controlled anger. He would be pissed if I didn’t liste
n to him, but I couldn’t risk him getting hurt. Not if there was something I could do to stop it.
“I’m fine here.” I held Logan’s gaze as I said it. “I’ll wait for you.”
“Juliette-” he tried again, jaw clenching in a silent warning.
“I said I’ll wait here, thank you.” I turned my attention to the other man. “Is there something you need? It’s rather late and this is obviously a quiet neighborhood.”
The man, Jimmy, was obviously caught off guard by my dismissive comment and then turned to face me fully, cocking his head to the side as if he heard me wrong. “What I need is for you to come down here.”
My hands were shaking so I crossed my arms, my nails biting into my skin as I rolled my eyes. “Listen, you can leave or I can call the police. It’s that simple and I’m sure you aren’t as dumb as you look, so what’s it gonna be?”
Logan was frozen where he was and his eyes widened just a fraction. I gave a triumphant smirk, proud of myself that not only had I thrown off the bad guy but I’d surprised the good guy too. Good, I thought wryly. I wasn’t going to let them underestimate me. I wasn’t going to go inside and hide, but I wasn’t going follow orders and commands that came from the mouth of a man I’d never met.
“You’ve got some nerve. Greg said you were a spitfire. Hm, I bet you’re just as much of a firecracker in bed, aren’t you, honey? You’re probably a nasty-”
“Watch your fucking mouth!” Logan snarled and gripped Jimmy by his jacket, dragging him back and shoving him. He moved so that he now stood between us with Jimmy stumbling and catching himself on the dock, straightening up and stabbing a finger in Logan’s direction, surely preparing to spew out threats.
“Threaten me or her and I fucking destroy you,” Logan said, his voice low and calm once again. It was as though as he had to talk himself down. Hold himself in check.
Dammit, a part of me wanted to see it. To see what would happen if Logan was the one who lost control. Would he be scary? Sexy? Both?
“He’s gonna fucking kill you, Ashford. I can’t wait to watch the way you beg for your pathetic fucking life. But you know what he’s gonna do first? He’s gonna take your girl, lock her up in a nice dark room and plow her until-”
Logan moved so quickly I barely saw it; he knocked Jimmy with a swift right hook, his fist slamming into the other man’s jaw with a sickening crack. Then he delivered a punch to Jimmy’s beefy gut and the man fell. His face was red as he gasped and put a hand to his stomach, kneeling on the dock. Logan moved down into a crouch, his pose relaxed and almost friendly. He put a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder and started speaking.
I took a step closer, not hearing what was being said. But after a beat, the man stood, shot me a glare, spit blood in front of Logan’s shoe and then turned around and walked away. He stood there until Jimmy was out of sight and then he turned. Slowly.
I walked down the dock until I was standing in front of him, the cold wind biting at my bare arms. Anger came off of him in uninviting waves and he glared down at me, arms crossed.
“Look,” I started and then stopped. “I know you’re mad and I don’t want to fight. But I was worried that he was going to-”
Logan held up a hand to stop me and I fought the urge to slap his palm down. “When I tell you to go inside, go inside.”
My temper rose just a fraction and I pressed my tongue against my cheek before responding. “I can make my own decisions, Logan. You can’t tell me what to do.” I inwardly grimaced, hating that juvenile statement.
“You don’t know these guys, Juliette. For fuck’s sake, do you know what he would have done if I wasn’t here?” his voice grew louder, deeper.
“Good thing you were here then.”
“Damn it, this isn’t a game.”
“Exactly. Which is why I’m calling the police.”
I turned and started walking down the dock towards my house. Logan’s sneakers slapped against the wood as he quickly caught up with me, wrapping his fingers around my elbow and yanking me back to him. “I’m handling it.”
I gave him a wild eyed look and made a sound between a growl and a frustrated cry. “You’re not doing anything!”
“Why are you screaming? Knock it off.”
“He showed up at my work! And now he has these… these thugs showing up at your house. What’s next? Huh?”
Logan rolled his eyes, fed up with my antics, and dragged me into the house. He kicked the door shut behind him and then turned the lock, not taking his eyes off me. “Why are you so stubborn? I told you that I’m handling this. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“I don’t care about that!” I burst out, my voice raising with each word. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Logan stared at me for a minute and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. His chest was heaving and he leaned back against the door. He studied me carefully, eyes filled with scrutiny as I pushed my hair behind my ear and shifted from one leg to the other. Okay, I said it, indirectly anyway. But I’d said that I cared about him and cared what happened next. Logan spent the last month pushing my buttons and driving me crazy in a way that no one else did and all it took was one threat for me to admit that I’d rather have him pushing those buttons than not have him near me at all.
I was losing my damn mind over someone who had no chance of settling down with someone like me, but there it was. Cards on the table, metaphorical gun to my head, I was developing feelings for Logan that revealed themselves long before the kiss.
This was such a bad idea.
“Listen, I called an old friend and let him know what’s going on. He’s a Boston cop and the only reason I trusted him enough with this is because I helped get his daughter away from the junkie she was dating and got her placed into a rehab out of state. He’s gonna be keeping an eye on Conlon for the time being and it won’t take long to get him on gun charges or possession.”
All I really got out of that was ‘Boston cop’ and ‘gun charges’. This was too much, way too much. I wanted to go back to my quiet life where I went to work and went straight home. No interactions with strange, handsome men in the middle of the night and no feelings. No real commitment, that was what I needed.
Logan moved forward quickly as I put a hand on my head, completely overwhelmed with all of it. It suddenly didn’t feel like real life. All of this had to be a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from because in reality I would never be involved with a situation that may or may not include a gunman.
“Hey,” he said softly and wrapped an arm around my waist, guiding me back so I was sitting down at the kitchen counter. I said nothing as he moved through the kitchen and got me a glass of water, cupping my shoulder and rubbing his hand in soothing circles.
“I don’t want to deal with this,” I said honestly and finally looked up at him, my eyes searching his face.
His silence was deafening and held an unspoken truth; I wasn’t getting out of it until it was said and done.
“So you’re gonna keep tabs on me or something?”
Logan made a face at the audacity in my tone and shook his head. “Don’t say it like I’m a babysitter or some other bullshit. It’ll take a week at most before this guy is back behind bars, but I’m not leaving you alone until then. Sorry.”
He apologized in a way that had me convinced he wasn’t sorry at all and it only added fuel to the fire. I stood from the seat I was in and put one hand on his chest. I was stuck knowing that I couldn’t get out of it. My feelings over the next week would inevitably grow because they were already hitting me hard and fast in a way that I’d never experienced. But I wasn’t getting out of it and that realization had me fuming.
“You can leave now. I’ll see you in the morning to bring me to work.”
Logan covered my hand with his, holding my palm over his heart. I could feel the steady thump and the heat seeping through his shirt. “I just said I’m not leaving you alone.”
“You don’t… y
ou don’t mean you can- you’re not staying here,” I stuttered.
“Okay, then you can spend the night at my place.” he quipped, continuing to talk over me when I tried to interrupt him. “That’s actually a better idea. My place is bigger and I have an alarm system.”
Spend the night at Logan’s house. All of the romance novels that I’d ever read were coming to mind. I was supposed to spend the night so he could keep me safe and then I’d end up on my back on the mattress with him on top of me and buried inside me.
Logan. Inside me. Sweat slicked skin and- I shook my head, not trusting myself or Logan to be strong willed enough to sleep under the same roof and not sleep together. “I can’t do that.”
He didn’t answer me for a minute, his fingers stroking over the back of my hand. He looked down at me with those dark molten eyes that left me breathless and it took everything in me not to lean against him, inhale his scent. Feel that hard body pressed against me and keeping me safe.
Safe. With Logan.
“I’ll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in my room.”
“I can’t kick you out of your bed.”
“It’s either you kick me out of my bed or we sleep in that bed together, but you need to know what you’re getting yourself into if that happens.”
He was talking so low, voice gravelly and dangerous. His close proximity made me feel like I was high and I couldn’t think properly. If we slept in the same bed then that meant we would be sleeping together. Fucking. Touching and exploring each other with such intimacy that it would make me feel like I was on fire. I’d be burning up for Logan.
I already was.
“Listen, J, I’ll never push you to do something you don’t want to do. I can be an asshole, but I’m not that kind of man. I just need you to trust me with this, okay? One week and then it’s all done. Maybe I can take you out on a proper date,” he said with a smile that was so sincere it had me weak.
Reckless and Wild: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Port James Series Book 1) Page 6
