“I don’t really know. Things are kind of difficult right now and we’re playing it by ear. We haven’t done anything since then, but things have been such a shit show here and I’ve worked late the last two nights. He’s been busy with work.”
“Working on busting that creepy bastard that cornered you in your office?”
I nodded my head. “Yep. There’s been a small hitch in that plan, but he’s figuring it out.”
I kept on walking and when I didn’t hear the crunch of snow under boots I turned, seeing the two of them standing still and just watching me. “What?”
Violet took a step forward with trepidation in her eyes. “Juliette, we love you. So much. But… don’t you think you’re trusting him a little too much?”
My hackles instantly rose and I had to fight the urge to not lash out. I felt like I needed to protect Logan and what he stood for, even if Rose and Violet didn’t understand. I couldn’t very well tell them what he did for a living when his own family didn’t even know.
“No,” I finally said, my spine straight and my shoulders squared. “I don’t.”
Rose stepped forward, too. “Look, don’t get offended because we’re worried about you. We just don’t know this guy very well and we’re worried. We don’t want you to get wrapped up in him and then get yourself hurt. Or worse. I checked around and I haven’t heard great things about him.”
“Logan told you he’d never let anything happen to me.”
“I know that. But it doesn’t make me feel any better. I don’t know a fucking thing about this guy other than the fact that he dragged you into some sort of trouble and-”
“He didn’t drag me into anything. I could have walked away, but I didn’t. Look, I know you’re worried about me and I love having people that care about me as much as you. But you don’t know what’s going on.”
Violet rolled her eyes and piped in. “Yeah, we don’t know anything because you’ve virtually fallen off the face of the planet and started keeping secrets.”
I jerked back as though I’d been slapped. That was how they felt? I’d fallen off the face of the planet because, what? I’d gotten a social life? Granted, this wasn’t the kind of social life I’d imagined. But it was my life and I finally felt like it belonged to me. I wasn’t living to please everyone else. Everything that was going on with Conlon was scary and my feelings for Logan were confusing. But I’d finally taken ahold of my life and I wasn’t living for anyone else.
My adolescence was spent doing everything Gran wanted me to.
My college life was spent with my nose in a book.
Up until last month, my adult life was spent working and staying locked up in my house.
Not anymore. Not now that I’d gotten a taste of what it felt like to finally live. I appreciated my friends’ concern for me and I loved them for it, admired them for their ballsy behavior and their fearlessness when it came to saying what was on their minds. But I needed them to understand that this wasn’t about some mere crush. It was so much more than that. It was about caring for another human being and wanting to protect them, care for them. Outside of my grandmother, I never knew what it was like to care about someone like that. To want to put someone other than myself first.
But I understood it now, and I damn well wasn’t about to give it up.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been distant,” I finally said, speaking softly. “Just because I haven’t told you every little thing about what’s been going on in my life doesn’t make me a secret keeper, that’s a joke. I come to work every day, I do my damn job without any complaints. So don’t treat me like a pariah because I haven’t been spilling my guts about my personal life.”
Without waiting for a response, I turned on my heel and walked with my group of dogs back to the barn. I was angry, but more than that I was hurt. I felt like I’d been ganged up on by friends and it was a crappy feeling.
Looks like that storm showed up sooner than I thought, I mused silently as I trudged through the snow.
Chapter 12
M y bad mood bled into the next day as I waited for Logan to come get me. I was sitting on the couch, my knee bouncing with anxiety as I thought about what the day had in store for us.
Logan had finally gotten in contact with Nicole and she agreed to meet us in Boston. It took some convincing, but she’d finally relented after his reassurance that he wasn’t going to drag her to the airport and send her back to Florida.
I’d tossed and turned all night as I thought about what the Arden sisters had said to me. Their words kept flashing through my head as guilt seeped into my bones. Was I doing something wrong by continuing whatever this was with Logan? Was I wrong to want more than just to just work and die?
I didn’t have time to think about it because soon enough there were three short knocks on the door and then Logan was hobbling in with a cane in his right hand.
I arched a brow. “Kinky.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “My doctor gave it to me for when my RA is acting up really bad. It’s fuckin’ embarrassing, but my ankles are killing me today.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the heart as he admitted his pain. He was being so brutally honest with me, but I wasn’t ready to tell him what was bothering me.
“I don’t know,” I responded with a shrug and stood, walking over and pressing a soft kiss to his lips, lingering there for a moment. “I think it’s kinda cute.”
“Ah, yes. I hear the whole crippled thing is a turn on. I guess it’s true that redheads are real freaks.”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I grabbed my bag, locking the door as we headed out. We had to walk a little slower and I could see that each step was a struggle for Logan. His brow was furrowed and he looked down, gritting his teeth with every step he took. By the time we made it to his car, a sweat had broken out on his forehead and he looked exhausted with the exertion. His body was wearing him down, and as much as I wanted to ask if he wanted to wait and do this another day, I didn’t. Logan was stubborn, strong willed, and thick skulled in a way that was both admirable and annoying.
“Do you think she’ll ask if she can have Mac back?” I asked once we were en route to the city.
“She can ask, beg, whatever she wants. Mac is my dog and I sure as fuck won’t give him back to her and the guy that almost killed him.”
There was a determined look in his eyes and I almost felt bad for poor Nicole. She had no idea what she was getting herself into. Then again, I couldn’t feel too bad because she was the one who had gone ahead and screwed things up by coming back to town.
“Is she your ex?” I finally asked, feeling like I needed to know.
I hadn’t asked Logan much about Nicole, but I had to know if there was something between the two of them. If she was an ex girlfriend or an ex hook up. It wasn’t any of my business and I knew he wasn’t obligated to give me an answer, but I hoped he would. It was obvious that he cared about Nicole and they obviously had some sort of history that I knew nothing about.
“Why? You gonna be jealous if she is?”
My spine straightened. “No, of course not. It’s.. it’s-”
“Relax.” He laughed and turned down the radio. “Nicole and I are nothing more than friends. It’s always been that way. We would have clashed as a couple and if I’m being honest, Nic’s too needy. I wouldn’t have been able to handle that.”
Good thing I’m the least needy person in the world, I thought wryly. If anything I was overly independent and borderline standoffish. But still, there was some part of me that felt better knowing I wasn’t about to walk in on some ex girlfriend type of drama that I had a feeling Logan was very familiar with.
The rest of the ride was mostly silent and I had a feeling it was because he was so wrapped up in his thoughts about how today was going to go. It could either go one of two ways; with Nicole admitting that it was a mistake coming home and she wanted a way out again, or with her refusing Logan’s help and going back
to Conlon and telling him what happened. Unease settled in my gut as I had a feeling that today would end with the latter.
Boston was crowded and Faneuil Hall was even worse with tourists milling about and Boston natives shoving their way through the crowds. Located near the waterfront and Government Center, the shops were an attraction to teens and it looked beautiful in the winter with twinkling lights wound around tree branches and snow capped buildings lining the cobblestones that Logan and I walked along.
We were outside of Quincy Market and the smells that wafted out made my mouth water, but eating was the last thing on my mind. The sky was dark gray and the wind was biting as it hit the exposed skin of my hands and face. It looked and felt like it was going to snow any second.
Logan left his cane in the car, and I had a feeling it was because he was embarrassed that he needed it. We walked side by side, moving slowly as he looked around for Nicole. She promised to meet us by one and it was nearly one thirty. His frustration was palpable as he scanned the crowd. I wished I could have been more help, but I had no idea what Nicole looked like, so I didn’t know where to start looking.
“Do you think she bailed?” I finally asked.
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” he finally responded as he scanned the crowd again. It was loud and a group of teens passed in front of us, hooting and hollering about nothing in particular.
“Logan?” a feminine, raspy voice came up behind us, startling me as I reached to grip him by the sleeve of his jacket.
His back was straight as he turned to face the woman that was, presumably, Nicole. The first thing that I noticed was how small she was. I was petite and had always been called as much, but Nicole was tiny. Rail thin and pale with stringy blonde hair and thick eyeliner around her eyes that made her resemble a raccoon. Her pale blue eyes were bloodshot and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was high or if it was from crying. Ronald had said she looked good, which made me think that something had changed in the last forty eight hours, because the girl I was staring at now looked strung out and on edge, looking over her shoulder like she was a junkie on the lookout for cops.
Maybe in her eyes, Logan was the equivalent to a cop.
“Sorry I’m late.” She sounded breathless as though she’d been running.
When he said nothing, I looked up at him. There was mean look in his eyes and his jaw was clenched hard as the wind picked up and ruffled his hair. Everything about the situation felt tense, itchy. I wanted it to stop.
“It’s fine,” I finally blurted out, feeling like I was drowning in the silence. “We understand.”
Nicole’s eyes shot to me and she looked me up and down, sizing me up. I shifted from one foot to the other, hating the way she was silently scrutinizing me. “Who the hell are you?”
“She’s the one who saved your dog’s fucking life.” Logan finally spoke up.
I watched as Nicole shrank back, guilt sliding over her features. “Is Butch okay?” she finally asked, twisting the rings on her small, cold fingers.
“His name’s Mac and yes, he’s fine. Thanks to Juliette.”
“Thank you,” she finally said, not meeting my eye. “But I still don’t understand why she’s here.”
“I don’t know, Nic. Maybe she’s here to keep me in check so I don’t lose my fucking cool in the middle of Quincy fucking Market.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” Nicole finally burst out, her eyes watering. She looked mousey and scared, and I couldn’t help but feel bad that she had to deal with the wrath of an Ashford. I had a feeling that all of them were filled with bad tempers.
“No. Not okay. Not even close to okay. Do you know what strings I had to pull to get you out of town? Do you know what the fuck I’ve had to deal with since then? Nicole, he almost killed you, or did you happen to forget that little fact on your flight back to Hell?”
I put a hand on his arm to signal that he needed to calm down. He was drawing attention with his raised, angry voice, and I didn’t want to risk something going south in the middle of a crowded place. Logan looked down at me, his features softening just a bit as his nostrils flared, and he inhaled softly.
“Maybe we should take this somewhere with a little more privacy?” I suggested and looked around, spotting a small alcove that looked almost empty. We congregated there, the three of grouped close together with Nicole taking a step back when she saw the fiery look in his eyes.
“You know he sent someone to my house, right? And you know he showed up at her work?” Logan jerked his chin toward me.
“He was just worried about me, Logan. I fell off the face of the planet and disappeared. He was scared, he didn’t know what to do without me. I’m the love of his life, you know? I shouldn’t have left the way I did.”
Nicole was showing classic signs of emotional abuse and it hurt to watch. When I was in college and reading everything I could get my hands on, I read a book about abusers and read that they always try to act like they’re right and you’re wrong. They chastise your behavior. They’re intolerant of any seeming lack of respect. They try to play the victim and deflect blame on anyone else, and here was Nicole, blaming herself for leaving. For not giving him another chance. She was holding herself accountable for his shortcomings as a man and it broke my heart. I couldn’t imagine the emotional manipulation Conlon must have been putting her through since she returned.
“I honestly can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not. Do you forget what he did to you? The way he hurt you? Nic, he broke your ribs. He nearly broke your nose.”
“It’s not like that anymore! He’s different. When I came home he started crying because he was so happy to see me. He’s never cried to me like that before. He even helped me clean the house and ordered from my favorite place for dinner. He’s making good money at his new… job. I don’t even have to work anymore.”
I noticed her slight hesitation at the mention of the word job and I had a feeling Logan did, too. But neither one of us would say anything because we needed more out of her. I could tell that he didn’t want to manipulate Nicole and the more time I spent with him the more I realized force and manipulation weren’t his MO.
“Nic,” he spoke much softer now, fis features not as hard as before. “I need you to listen to me. You know that Greg Conlon isn’t a good person. He’s a violent, abusive drug dealer who likes to spend his time playing the victim so that girls like you feel sorry for him. It’s how he lures you in.”
“Girls like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Whoa, hey, I didn’t mean-”
“Weak girls? Poor girls who come from a shitty part of town? Girls who grow up with no daddy and a drunk for a mom? Well, sorry, Logan. I’m so sorry that we all couldn’t be born with a silver spoon up our asses like you.”
“Listen, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean it like that. People like him target girls they think are easily manipulated, and that is exactly what he’s doing to you. You can’t honestly stand here, look me in the fucking eye and say that you believe he’s never going to hurt you again. Nicole, I can help you. I did before and I’ll do it again, but I can only help if you’re serious about leaving. You can’t come home every time you miss him.”
When Nicole looked up from the ground, I hated the emptiness I found in her eyes. It was as though she completely shut down and tuned him out. She wasn’t listening, wasn’t willing to. Conlon had clearly done a number on her and there was no way she was going to leave with us today. She was stuck in her ways, or maybe stuck in his manipulation and, in her eyes, the bad guy wasn’t Greg Conlon.
It was Logan.
“I am home,” she said finally, her voice small. She sounded like a smoker. “I’m not leaving again. I just… I came to ask you for a favor.”
I couldn’t exactly say how I knew, but I did. I knew exactly what she was going to ask and wanted to get Logan away from her as fast as humanly possible. I put a hand on his arm and took a step back. “Lo, maybe we should-”
>
“I want Butch back.”
Logan jerked back as though she’d slapped him and maybe, in a way, it had been a verbal slap across the face. He was the reason the dog was alive, living a happy life filled with toys and affection, and Nicole wanted to drag Mac back to the hell that he’d been put through when she abandoned him the first time.
“Are you kidding me?”
Logan looked down at me while Nicole glared, and that was when I realized the words had come from my mouth. My heart pounded in my chest as my blood pressure rose, but I was just. So. Angry. If Nicole wanted to go back to her abuser then so be it, no one could stop her. But I’d be damned if she wanted to bring an innocent animal with her.
“Was I fucking talking to you?”
“No, but I really don’t care. His name is Mac and you aren’t getting him back. Dogs don’t ask for a shitty life, they don’t ask for anything other than love and affection. They’re completely innocent and you have the gall to ask if you can bring him back to the place where he almost died? Yes, he almost died, Nicole. Because your boyfriend beat him bloody and left him on Logan’s doorstep just to prove a point. He was left alone in the cold when he was practically a newborn. You aren’t getting him back.”
Color appeared in her cheeks and her eyes narrowed, skinny arms crossing over her chest. “I don’t know who you think you are, Doc. But I’ll take you to court and-”
“Good!” I shot back, fuming. “Take me to court. Let me show a judge photographic evidence of what your boyfriend did to Mac. I would love to tell an entire court what the hell Conlon’s been up to for the last month. Harassment, abuse, I could probably get him on stalking charges, too.”
I probably couldn’t, but whatever. I also didn’t have photographic evidence of Mac’s abuse. But it didn’t matter because she was bluffing. Nicole wouldn’t bring me to court because she wouldn’t risk Conlon’s freedom for a dog, even if the dog was an adorable, clumsy, loving beast who barked at the tv and ate like a pig.
She was silent as she stared me down and I squared my shoulders, silently daring her to say something else. Logan was silent, watching me with narrowed brown eyes and a smile tugging at his lips. But still, he didn’t scold me, didn’t tell me that he didn’t need my help.
Reckless and Wild: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Port James Series Book 1) Page 10
