“Not get yourself killed you won’t,” Chasm snaps back, and I lift a glare up to his face.
“I offered myself to Justin in exchange for Parrish’s release.”
“You what?!” they both blurt at the same time, exchanging another frantic look between them. In a sudden, weird way, I feel like this could work. Like, all of us and Parrish. We could … this group of ours … God, what am I even saying here? Again, Dakota. Is this an anime? Is this a kick-ass reverse harem novel like, uh, that one with a mysterious cult that kills teenagers? “The Secret Girl”?
No. The answer is no. It is not.
“He would never want you to do something like that,” Chasm snarls, yanking on his hair. It’s mostly black still, but some of the temporary dye has been rubbed off his yellow lightning bolt from all the frantic tugging he’s doing. “Why would you even try a stunt like that? We’ll find him.”
“And then what?!” I shout, standing up and then cringing as I realize how loud I’m being. I wish we could play music, but that would mean bringing tech into my room, and that just won’t do. I crack my door, just to make sure there’s no one outside of it. Kinda hard to sneak down here, seeing as Parrish and I are the only people in the family with rooms at this end of the hallway. “Then what?” I whisper, turning and finding Chasm right next to me.
I want to kiss him so badly that it hurts.
My eyes drop to his lips, to the silicone-covered spots where his lip studs should be, and then back to his sharp gaze.
“Once we find Parrish, then what happens? Justin lets us go on our merry way? He just tells us all to keep quiet and voila, we all live happily ever after?” Chasm grits his teeth at me as Maxx steps toward us, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “There has to be an end somewhere. As I see it, there are only two options: I give myself up to him when we find Parrish. Or I kill Justin.”
Chasm purses his lips, glancing over at Maxx. They exchange their third glance of the night as I resist the urge to scream.
“He isn’t going to give us a chance to tell the cops anything,” I continue as they both look back at me. “You didn’t spend the day eating really good Mexican food and singing eighties pop songs with the guy.”
“Huh?” Chasm queries, but I just push past him, moving over to my dresser and yanking pajamas out of the top drawer. “You did what?”
I turn around, my pj’s clutched against my chest. Without realizing it, I’ve chosen the exact pajamas that I wore that night in the woods. With a shiver, I turn back and put them away, selecting a different outfit. I won’t throw them away in case there’s a clue to be found there, but I will never, ever wear them again.
Speaking of … I should ask Justin about the pj’s. Maybe, like with Francisca Cortez, he’ll tell me.
“Justin Prior is nice and personable and likable as hell. He’s also crazy. He told me all sorts of things today.”
“Like what?” Maxx prompts gently. There’s this … tenderness in his voice that I swear wasn’t there before last night. But then I think about it for a minute, and I realize he’s been talking to me like that for a while now.
“Let me change and deal with my period stuff.” I gesture randomly at myself and then flush as both boys’ eyes follow the movement of my hand. Maxx didn’t mention the cup the last night, and neither did I, but maybe he guessed? Either way, I’m not interested in bringing it up just now. “One second.”
I slip into the bathroom, making a show of removing the towel from the book bag. The camera is facing the wall, but I’m sure it has good audio built in. I turn the shower on, rinse off and deal with the blood situation, before I get out and dry off, dress myself, and pretend to simply chuck the towel right back over the bag.
When I head back into the room, I see that Maxx has taken the opportunity to change into loungewear—and oh my god. Oh my god. My mouth waters as I stare at him, shirtless and dressed in incredibly low-slung black shorts and nothing else. My eyes trace the hard shape of his shoulders, the curves of his biceps, the flat planes of his chest, the incredible valleys that make up his abs.
Ugh.
Feel me. Touch me. All of me.
Nope. No. Not gonna do that to myself.
I look over at Chasm, but he’s still dressed.
“I have to leave in a few minutes,” he says, grinding his teeth in frustration. “My dad is up your father’s ass, apparently. Like neck-deep in Justin Prior’s sphincter.”
“Please don’t say sphincter,” I say, giving a little crinkle of my face. I press my back to the bathroom door, the fan whirring loudly behind it. “Just say, like butt crack or something.”
“Okay, well, my dad is licking your dad’s butt crack. Better?” He gives me one of those signature saucy Chasm looks that I remember oh so fondly. Once upon a time, this prick sat on the bed when it was in the center of my room and bragged about how many girls he’d fucked on it.
And here he stands, having slept with exactly one.
“We suspected that, didn’t we?” I ask with a long sigh. “No wonder the clues linking Justin to Seamus were so easy to find; they never intended to hide their relationship.”
“My parents are in on whatever they’re up to,” Maxx adds with a hard frown. Frankly, I’m having trouble looking at his face. I must be tired. There’s no excuse for that. Maxine knows. She knows that I slept with her ex-boyfriend. Pain lances through my chest, but I push it back. One day, maybe, I’ll be able to explain it all to her and beg for her forgiveness. For now, I have one focus.
“How do you figure that?” I ask, moving over to sit on the bed with him. We make sure to keep careful distance between us, but there’s no denying that the chemistry between us is still there. Scratch that: it’s doubled. Tripled. I make myself look at Chasm, but that doesn’t help either. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to kiss or touch someone as much as I want to with him.
“They’re being sketch as fuck,” X tells me, glancing over. His eyes run down the black pullover sweater I’m wearing. It has a PlayStation controller on it, and it’s super comfy, but it does ride up a lot, baring my lower belly. That’s where his gaze comes to rest, right on my navel piercings. With great effort, he tears his gaze away and refocuses on my face.
Chasm makes a low, growly sort of sound, but Maxx ignores him.
I can’t bear to do that, glancing up at him only to find him glaring daggers at his friend.
“There’s something going on with them; I told you what I knew this morning. Well, guess what? They’re making me attend the launch party for Milk Carton, too. Also, they’re staying in Seamus’ cabin. And, as Chas so eloquently put it, Seamus is licking Justin’s butthole.” X exhales sharply, seemingly unaware that Chasm is glaring at him. That, or he just doesn’t care. That’s just as likely a possibility. “I didn’t think to mention this before, but when Maxine broke up with me, they pushed me to get back together with her.”
“What on earth would that serve?” Chas wonders, that hyper-intelligent mind of his ticking away. “That’s just plain weird.”
“I thought they were just, I don’t know, enamored with her or something. But after everything that’s happened? It seems fishy as hell.”
“So … all of our parents are in on this?” I ask, cringing slightly. “I mean, in some capacity. I’m guessing mine is the only one who kills people.”
We all go silent for a minute there, and I don’t much enjoy the implications of that silence.
“Tell us what happened today,” Chasm says finally, leaning his shoulder against the wooden post of my bed, arms crossed over his chest.
I nod, closing my eyes for a minute. I’m so damn tired. Like, bone-deep exhausted. Not only have I barely slept since Parrish went missing, but I’ve been through a lot. With Chasm. With my sister. With X. With Justin.
I could sleep for a century.
In as detailed a manner as I can handle, I relive every aspect of my day with Justin.
When I’m done, I open
my eyes to find both boys lost in their own contemplations.
“I still can’t believe that you offered to give up your entire life,” Chasm says, and the tone of his voice, it’s almost accusatory. My cheeks flush, and I feel myself getting angry all over again.
“I’m in love with Parrish; I’ll do anything for him.”
The words come out before I can stop them, and both Chasm and Maxx stiffen up. It gets real awkward in that room, real fast.
“Do we want to talk about the fact that Kota and I had sex last night?” X offers up, and I give him a horrified look. “We can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.” He pauses and closes his eyes for a moment, sliding his hand over his face. “Let me rephrase that: I am having trouble pretending that it didn’t happen.”
“You’re having trouble how?” Chasm asks, frowning hard. “What’s the problem? The Slayer has our friend hostage. Sex with another friend to save his life is a shitty thing to demand, but it could be a hell of a lot worse.”
Mm. I almost forgot about Justin’s parting shot.
I reach up to scratch the side of my nose.
“On my way out of the car, after he told me about Martina Cortez, he flat-out said that he’s planning on having me kill people. So, yeah. You guys were right about that.”
“You just now remembered that your dad told you to kill people?” Chasm hisses at me, and I glance away, toward the door. With a huff, he storms over to open it, checking the hall again. There’s nobody there. He slams it shut and turns around, crossing his arms with a huff. He mutters in Korean and Maxx sighs, responding in turn.
They then proceed to have an entire fucking conversation that I can’t understand.
“You guys better not be talking about me,” I snap, and Chas gives me a look.
“We are,” he admits, and I curl my lip at him.
“Then teach me,” I growl out, and his pretty mouth curves up a bit in a smile.
“I did teach you, naekkeo.” He moves over to me and squats down in front of me, putting a hand on my knee. “Saranghae.”
My cheeks—and yes, we know, my tits also—flush bright red.
Relief floods me in a relentless wave, and I end up throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing him so tightly that his resulting chuckle turns into a grunt.
“I don’t remember how to say it, so … good night?” I whisper, and Chasm laughs again, pulling back slightly. Then we’re just staring at each other and he’s lunging forward, pressing his hot mouth against mine and making my toes curl.
The bed creaks as Maxx rises to his feet, and Chas pulls back so that we can both look up at him.
“I’ll give you guys a minute,” he says, his emerald eyes focused on the floor, his right hand scratching absently at the back of his head.
“Don’t you dare leave,” Chasm snaps out, rising to his feet. “You’re right: we do have to talk about this.”
Maxx lifts his gaze to look at him, letting his attention slide over to me.
I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that Maxine knows. That I had to betray her to save Parrish’s life. I cannot stop thinking about it. Nor can I stop thinking about the implications involved in the entire situation.
As a person, you feel you know who you are. Or at the very least, have some vague idea. But you never truly understand yourself until your back is against a wall, and it’s put up or shut up. If you’d asked the old Dakota—the one from Catskills, NY who lived with her grandparents and her big sister—if she’d ever sleep with said sister’s boyfriend to save a guy she’d only known for three months, she might’ve said no. She might’ve claimed that she’d tell the authorities, tell her grandparents, shout the information to the world.
But when you’re faced with a heart bursting with love, a pair of gold-flecked brown eyes, and a pouty mouth … things change. Parrish has changed me. I knew it from the very first second I met him; I know it now. It’s not just because he’s some boy, and I’m some girl, and we had a fling or a teenage romance, it’s more than that.
He’s a person with beautiful dreams, with a family that loves him, an entire community of people around him whose lives would change if he were gone. Is he perfect? Of course he isn’t. Because who wants that? Perfect is an illusion that blinds us to the prettiest parts of the world. Flaws are what make us human. Perfection is for robots.
“Don’t feel obligated to say or do anything for me; I’m a big boy.” X hooks a smirk, and I can’t decide if he’s just trying to lighten the mood or if he’s actually making a joke about his extra-large dick. I shift a little, and that soreness between my thighs flickers like fire. Even as I’m hurting, I want a little bit more. “Just tell me the truth, and I’ll accept it.”
“You are such a martyr,” Chasm snorts, digging out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. He moves into the bathroom, grabs my book bag, and carries it into Parrish’s room with the towel still draped over the top. He drops it on the floor, closes the door, and heads back into my bathroom so that he can sit perched on the edge of the tub and smoke a cigarette. The only window in my room that actually opens for ventilation purposes is in the bathroom.
The bathroom … with its four-person sized shower.
“A foursome is not on the books, Dakota,” I murmur. Aloud. I murmur it aloud.
Maxx stares at me. Chasm nearly tumbles into the empty tub, cursing as he tries to catch his cigarette as it falls from his mouth.
“Totally out of context!” I explain, lifting my hands up, palms out. “Completely out of context.”
Maxx cocks a brow.
“In what context, exactly, does a foursome mean anything chaste?” The playful tone in his voice breaks my heart. I want to give into him the same way I fell into Chasm—with reckless abandon. I had no choice in that arena. Justin did not order me to simply ‘have sexual intercourse before sunrise’ with him. He said act on your feelings. He said to keep acting on my feelings.
But what’s my excuse with Maxx? Because there isn’t one, and I won’t betray Parrish, Chasm, or Maxine for it. No matter how much I like him.
“I wasn’t thinking about sex,” I breathe, shoving my hair back from my face. “I was thinking about the shower in my bathroom.”
Chasm snorts and nearly drops his cigarette all over again.
Maxx grins at me, propping an elbow against the wall and leaning his head against his fist.
“That makes it better somehow?” he queries innocently, and I narrow my eyes at him.
“I was just thinking about me and you and Chasm and Parrish.” I get choked up and close my eyes. When I open them, X is staring at me with a much more sober expression on his face. “You want the truth?” I ask, and he gives a slow, easy nod, dropping his arm from the wall and standing up straight.
Chasm runs the water in the tub to put out his cigarette, flushing it down the toilet before coming back over to stand in the bathroom doorway.
I make myself look between the two of them; I can’t hide from this any longer.
“I like you, Maxx,” I admit, wetting my lips. “A lot. As soon as I saw you in the coffee shop, I got that ‘love at first sight’ feeling, that crazy zing that makes your heart pound, that makes you sweat, that makes you hallucinate about all the beautiful things you could do with that person. You almost made me like hiking. I mean, walking for fun? I don’t even know how it’s possible, but you managed it.”
He keeps watching me, letting out a long exhale and shaking out his hands like he isn’t sure where I’m going with this. If I’m completely honest with myself, I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this either.
“The thing is, I’m in love with Parrish.” I let my gaze drift between him and Chasm. “And Chas and I … we’re getting really close. So what do I do? I like all three of you. A lot. More than I ever could’ve imagined even liking one person.”
“Last night changed a lot of things for me,” X admits, looking up at me with that determined glint i
n his eyes, the one that I started seeing when Parrish went missing. He came in here with a mission and goddamn it, he was going to complete it. That’s the same way he’s staring now. Like he isn’t willing to give up.
“Yeah, like the whole ‘not being a virgin anymore thing’?” Chasm says, making quotes with his fingers the way X often does. “Sort of a big life shift there.” The boys stare at each other again. “I’m not angry with you; Parrish won’t be angry with you.”
X lets out a small huffing laugh as he shakes his head.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do,” Chasm says firmly, looking back at me. “At least not for last night. I’m not sure what the two of you plan on doing from here on out.”
“We can’t do anything,” I say, and right away, I see X’s muscles get tense. I meet his eyes and I refuse to flinch. “It would be a betrayal to Parrish and to Maxine. I’m not saying we’re done. I just need you to push pause.” I swallow the lump of knotted feelings in my throat, saving them for later. “We find Parrish first. We deal with the Slayer. We talk to Maxine. Then we can work through this.”
“I don’t have much claim on Dakota either, you know,” Chasm adds. “Fortunately for me, I guess, we have no choice but to uh, keep acting on our feelings. But when Parrish gets back, I’m assuming the two of you will get back together?” He looks over at me, and even though he tries to play the slouchy bad boy, I see an emotional chasm—hah, a pun—opening up on Chas’ face. He’s devastated. I feel devastated at the thought. Yet I also feel devastated at forever allowing X to remain an impossibility.
I feel devastated about letting go of Parrish.
I won’t do it.
Once he’s back, he’s mine again—if he’ll have me. If he wants me after all this.
So what do I do? Date three guys? Will they let me do that? Could we try it out until … I mean surely, I’d decide on one eventually, right? That’s how these things work.
Can a person ever really love three people in equal measure?
I know I could never share these boys. Actually, the thought of it makes me feel physically ill.
Payback Princess (Lost Daughter of a Serial Killer Book 2) Page 37
