by Thalia Lake
“Really? How so?”
“The way you kissed me, the way you held me. You needed comfort, reassurance.”
“I needed you. I missed you,” I replied.
“And I missed you too, but that kiss was very different from any other kiss we’ve shared Roman. The way you held me, I knew something was troubling you.”
Looking down at my hands I said, “I had no other choice.”
“I know you didn’t,” Sarah responded as she reached out and caressed my hand.
“It’s not just him that’s dead, Sarah. I took out his entire organization.”
I looked at her and watched for her reaction.
“Oh,” was all she said in return.
“I had to ensure that everyone close to him, everyone that could possibly keep his ring going was gone. I should have dealt with Carter back then, but I didn’t. At that point in my life, I was tired of the bloodshed and turf wars. I wanted out of the business and life. I wanted to do something better with my life versus die in the streets. Not long after that I cut ties with my family’s business and went into business for myself. I’ve been able to leave that world behind until now, and it’s eating me up that I got sucked back in because of Carter.”
“I’m glad you got out. I’m glad you’re the successful, respectable businessman that you are now, but I’ll never judge you because of your past. You did what you had to do, what you thought was right at the time,” Sarah replied reassuringly.
“It doesn’t stop the guilt, though, Sarah. I’ve hurt a lot of people...and killed. I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life.”
“I understand guilt more than you know. I’ve done things that I’ll never share with anyone Roman, not my family and not even you. That’s how ashamed I am. There are things that are best left between myself and God because, at the end of the day, He is the only one I will have to answer to. I can’t take your guilt away no more than you can take away mine, but what I can do is support you and be here for you. If you just need me to be a listening ear, I can do that too.”
I looked at Sarah in amazement. She doesn’t know what her words did for me just now. I came to her apartment carrying a heavy load of guilt that I had planned on keeping to myself, but the minute I saw Sarah I knew I had to tell her what I had done. She knew Carter and was as close to the situation as I was and, therefore, deserved to know. Within a matter of seconds, her lips uttered words that made me feel like I was ten feet tall. Nothing I told her phased her. I told her that I killed people, lots of people, and she didn’t blink. Most women would have been appalled, calling me everything but a child of God. Sarah didn’t bat an eye. I told her how eaten up with guilt I am about what I did, and she tells me she carries her own shame that she’ll never share with anyone. She offered me her support and listening ear, and to me that was worth more than all the money in the world. Where was this woman twenty years ago? I could do nothing but chuckle to myself.
“What’s so funny?”
“You. You’re an amazing woman, Sarah. I appreciate your support and kind words, I really do. This isn’t easy for me...opening up like this and sharing things with someone other than the people I trust. I trust you, and I think it’s because we have a lot in common.”
Sarah smiled at me and I smiled at her in return. I leaned in to kiss her when her doorbell rang. My eyes were still focused on her beautiful lips as I was just a breath away from claiming them before we were rudely interrupted.
“Are you expecting company?”
“No, not at all,” Sarah replied with a confused look on her face.
“I’m sorry, but I should go see who it is,” she whispered before she got up.
She walked over to the intercom next to her door and pressed the black button.
“Yes?” she said loudly.
“It’s Junior and Mikey. Let us up.” Came Junior’s loud voice.
“Shit. Ohhh shit! It’s my brothers.” Sarah said nervously.
“What’s the problem? I’d love to meet them.” I replied as I shrugged my shoulders.
“I want you to meet them too, but not like this!” Sarah shrieked. “I can’t believe this is happening,” she mumbled as she pushed another button to buzz them inside. She turned to me and quickly said, “I apologize for whatever offensive things that come out of their mouths and if they are rude to you. They are very protective of me.”
I simply sat back on the couch and smiled at how cute Sarah looked being all nervous because her brothers are about to see their grown big sister with a man in her place. I suppose if I had a sister I’d be very protective of her too.
Sarah opened her door to let her brothers in. They were some big dudes, I must admit. It was also easy to tell that they were all siblings. The resemblance was incredible. One had a big afro and his steely gaze saw me first when he stepped inside. He paused, causing his brother to bump into him. After burning a hole through me with a death stare he finally said in a disgusted voice: “I didn’t know you’d have company. Who is he?”
“Be nice Michael.” Sarah pinned her brother with a look that told him she meant business. Her other brother pushed his way inside and said, “What’s goin’ on?”
Once his eyes landed on me he gave me the same death stare as his brother did just moments before. “Oh…what’s up man? I’m Johnny but everyone calls me Junior. This is my brother Michael.”
I stood up and walked up to Sarah’s brothers and shook both of their hands. Michael didn’t like me, and he did nothing to hide it. I didn’t expect him to shake my hand, but he did, and his grip was definitely stronger than necessary.
“It’s nice to meet you both. I’m Roman Mancini and I’m your sister’s boyfriend.” I watched as shock came over Junior’s face and a snarl came over Michael’s.
“Roman!” Sarah screeched.
When I turned to look at her my eyes were dark and unwavering. I dared her to argue what we both knew we were. She stared at me in return but said nothing.
“So you got a new man huh? Where did you find this one Sarah? What is he a mobster? A step up from Carter?”
“Watch your mouth, Michael!” Sarah got in her brother’s face even though he towered over her.
His height and muscles meant nothing to Sarah as she stood in his personal space ready to punch him. Her spunk made me smile inwardly. She was the oldest of the siblings and she was quick to remind her brother of who he was speaking to.
“You will not disrespect me or my man in my house. Are we clear? That goes for you too, Junior,” she said as she pointed at him. Junior held his hands in the air as though he was an innocent bystander in all of this.
Did she just say “My man?” I think I just got a hard on. Damn, she’s sexy! I love a woman who claims what’s hers!
Michael stared angrily at his big sister for a moment before mumbling “Yeah, we clear.” He then walked up to me and got in my face. I had about three inches on Michael, but I knew he would be a formidable opponent if we ever got into a tussle.
“As long as you understand that you ain’t messin’ with just any chick off the street. This is my sister, our sister, and she’s been through enough shit in her life to last a lifetime, and I’ll be damned if some random dude comes along and fucks up her world all over again. I’ll kill for her and for all of my family, but especially my sisters. You feel me?”
While I understood and admired his protectiveness and love of Sarah, I don’t take well to threats. I glared at Michael in return and squared my shoulders.
“I’m no two-bit hustler off the street, I’m a businessman and I own my own developing company. I don’t drink and I don’t do drugs, and I’m not trying to scratch some itch with your sister. I care about her, she’s an amazing woman, and she’s told me about her past struggles. The last thing I’ll ever do is treat her like she’s been treated in the past. In my eyes, she’s a queen and I will always treat her as such.”
I then took a step closer to Michael. “And I guara
ntee you that I’m no punk like Carter Williams or any of the other low life’s she’s dealt with in the past.”
We stood face to face, almost nose to nose, staring at each other and sizing each other up before Sarah got in the middle and pushed us apart.
“Are y’all done with all this macho crap because I’m sick of it.”
“We cool. As long as Roman understands where I’m coming from sis.” Michael had a smirk on his lips that didn’t reach his eyes.
“I understand you, and I hope you both understand me as well. You don’t trust me – I get it. In time you will,” I said matter-of-factly with a smirk of my own on my lips.
“Look, man, just treat our sister right and we cool. Never mind Booker T over here. He’s always looking for a fight,” Junior said as he patted me on the shoulder and made his way to Sarah’s kitchen to get something to drink.
“Speaking of Carter, we came over here to see if you had heard that everybody in his camp was killed and Carter is nowhere to be found? Word on the street is it was a professional hit and Carter might be dead too.”
Not missing a beat Sarah replied, “No, I didn’t hear that. I’ve been busy with work and helping Sloane decorate her baby room. Carter had plenty of enemies so I can’t say I’m surprised by any of this.”
“Does he know about Carter?” Junior asked as he looked over at me.
“Yes, he knows all about Carter,” Sarah replied as she sat back down on her couch. I joined her and put my arm around her to Michael’s disgust. I couldn’t stop the chuckle that came out of me.
“I had the unfortunate displeasure of knowing Carter back in the day. I’m originally from New York, as is Carter. Before I changed my life around, I dabbled in some illegal things, drugs and the like and Carter was a small time dealer trying to come up. Let’s just say he messed with the wrong people.”
Junior and Michael looked at each other and then back at me.
“So I was right, you do have mob ties. I’ve heard the Mancini name before…” Michael paused for a moment as he squinted his eyes at me.
“Yes, my family has mob ties but I do not. I broke off ties with that life over twenty years ago.”
That’s the one thing I hated about my family name. You can try all you like to distance yourself, but people who know about your family ties will always associate you with that life no matter how far away you try to get from it.
Michael laughed. “Man, gone with that shit. Once in, always in. You can’t just walk away from the mob!”
My case in point. Unfortunately, to a degree, Michael was right.
“Well I’m telling you I did walk away, and whatever stuff you’ve heard past or present will never have my name attached to it.”
“The Mancini family is a powerful family. They carry a lot of clout here and in New York and Chicago too if I’m not mistaken,” Michael said as he nodded his head. Suddenly his look of distrust turned to respect. I wanted his respect, but not because of my families mob ties. That’s not something I’m proud of.
“Man, how do you know all of this stuff Mikey?” Junior asked with a puzzled look on his face.
“When I was in jail I was in with all kinds of people. Mafia dudes, their workers, people who knew people. They talked about the different families: who was strong, who was weak, who was beefin’ with who. I heard the Mancini name a few times. I heard they had these two cousins that wasn’t nothing to fuck with. One was a pro boxer and the other one was just a bruiser, the muscle for the family.”
I couldn’t help it, but I winked at Michael, in essence confirming what he heard. I’d rather them know the truth about me and my past now, than hear lies through the grapevine later and hate and distrust me more. Michael’s eyes got big as realization sat in with him.
Hitting his brother in the arm he said, “Shit! That’s him, bro!”
“Ouch man! That hurt!” Junior yelled.
“Junior, he’s the muscle everybody was scared of in jail. The boxer dude, your cousin, his name is Ace right?” Michael asked, the excitement showing all over his face.
With a small smile I said, “Yeah, that’s my cousin. He’s my business partner now. We both left that life behind.”
Sarah sat next to me not saying a word as she looked at me with surprise. I wasn’t sure why she was surprised because I had already told her about my past. Perhaps hearing it confirmed by her brother made everything real for her just now.
I gently rubbed her arm and met her gaze. I tried to reassure her with my eyes that everything would be ok, and finally she graced me with a beautiful smile.
***
Believe it or not, we spent the rest of the evening at Sarah’s apartment – me, her and her brothers. Michael and I realized that we have a lot in common, mainly our love of working out and mutual love of boxing. He owns two gyms and is looking to open a third. I already know the perfect place he can open his third gym: in my new business development. I didn’t bring it up yet, but I will soon. Junior is a whiz of an accountant and I was able to ask him a few questions. Later that evening Sloane and Luca came by and it became an even livelier impromptu get together. We ordered pizza and Chinese food and Luca and I volunteered to go get sparkling cider, bottled water, and more pop.
Luca drove his Porsche, and man was it nice. That was a beautiful piece of machinery that hugged the street perfectly and had magnificent power.
“So I heard Carter Williams and his camp was taken out.”
“You heard right. I took care of Carter myself because the crazy son of a bitch followed me to my cousin’s apartment to kill me. I shot him in the head.”
Luca looked at me with a surprised yet satisfied look on his face. “Shit, he was crazy wasn’t he?” he said with a shake of his head.
“Crazy doesn’t even begin to describe him. In any case, he’s handled and everyone is safe.
“Massimo is one of the best.”
I looked at Luca and he looked at me with a knowing small smile. Nothing more needed to be said. We’re cut from the same cloth and know many of the same people because of that fact. As we picked up the things, our women asked us to get I informed Luca of how I took care of the two aldermen who were trying to shake me down. Luca couldn’t stop laughing.
“Now me, I would have been so pissed that I would have gone into their homes and cracked their skulls in front of their wives, but what you did - that was much better,” Luca laughed as he put the grocery bags into his small storage compartment that is supposed to be a trunk.
“Trust me, I wanted to crack some skulls, but I can’t go back to that.”
“I understand more than you know. Luca started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot heading back to Sarah’s apartment.
I got the chance to spend some time with Sloane getting to know her. She is a very sweet, kind woman who is also very protective of Sarah. At least she didn’t threaten me like her brother Michael did, but her choice of words left me no doubt that she would hunt me down and kill me herself if I hurt her sister. Luca loved Sloane and doted on her non-stop. He always had his hands on her or on her bulging pregnant stomach. He was already in love with their baby who was due to come in just two more months. I envied Luca and Sloane and wish that was me and Sarah ten years ago when we were both still relatively young.
It was almost midnight before everyone started to leave. There were no handshakes given out when everyone said their goodbyes. All the men gave hugs to one another and they included me in on the one shoulder man hugs as well. “Welcome to the family, brother-in-law,” Luca whispered into my ear. We both smiled at each other as he headed towards the door with Sloane.
“Come down to the gym sometime, we can work out together,” Michael said before he left.
“Absolutely,” I said in return. “I’ll make that happen soon.”
“Ok then.”
“All right man, we gotta hang out sometime too. We should play some basketball sometime,” Junior said.
“It’s been
a while since I’ve played, but I can knock the rust off and show you what I got,” I smiled. That got a laugh from Junior and Michael.
“Being that tall I knew you had to have played at some point in your life,” Michael chimed in.
“High school, varsity team all four years.”
“All right, all right. Well let’s get together soon, bro,” Junior said before slapping my hand one more time.
When Sarah closed her door and locked it she turned to look at me. “What just happened tonight?”
“I got to meet your family, and I’m glad I did. They are really nice, and I can’t wait for you to meet mine.”
“Nice? After the way Michael treated you?” Sarah scoffed.
“He’s your brother, he loves you and wants what’s best for you. If I had a sister, I’d be the same way towards her boyfriend.”
“Speaking of boyfriend, I like the way you just put that out there to my brothers that we’re a couple.” Sarah had her hand on her hip with an eyebrow raised.
I slowly approached her and my eyes locked with hers.
“Was I lying?”
When I got to her I took her into my arms and held her close.
“No.”
“And you told Michael that I was your man. Did you mean that?”
“Absolutely. You’re all mine, and I’m all yours Roman Mancini.”
She then pulled my face down to hers and kissed me soundly and sensually to seal the deal.
“You keep talking like that and you’re gonna make me fall in love with you.”
“Well. I’ve already fallen in love with you. Hook, line and sinker.” Roman looked deeply into my eyes and caressed my cheek.
“Roman, you don’t have to say that. I wasn’t fishing…” I started to say, but Roman cut me off.
“I love you Sarah. More than anything in this world. I love you, and I don’t want anyone else but you. This isn’t a game to me, and I mean what I say.”
His eyes were full of emotion as they searched my own.
I began to blink rapidly as I tried to stop the floodgates of my tears, but it was to no avail. “I love you too,” was all I could choke out before I buried my face into his chest and hugged him tightly to me. I’ve never uttered those words to another man in my life other than my brothers, and it felt good to do so. It felt good to feel this way towards another human being who felt the same towards me in return.
