“What happened?” she asked, her voice wobbling.
“Nothing, Pippi. Just a bad dream. You’re okay.”
“Pippi? I haven’t heard that in a long time.”
“You haven’t been home…” As soon as I said it I regretted it. I didn’t want to make her feel bad about not coming home more often. The truth was there wasn’t a lot for her to come home to these days. After what had happened I sincerely doubted she’d ever come back again. “Zoe…I’m sorry. I didn’t…”
“Spence…don’t! Please don’t apologise to me. Not now.” Any trace of vulnerability had vanished and the strong, stubborn, fiercely independent Zoe was back. The feeling of relief that flooded me felt too good to ignore. “What time is it?”
Taking a quick glimpse at my watch, I answered her, “Just after four.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Yep. Plenty of time for me to have another nap before the party tonight,” Zoe explained.
I would have sworn my neighbours heard my jaw hit the floor. I couldn’t believe it. She was still planning on going. After everything that she’d been through, not even twenty-four hours ago, she was still planning on attending that dumb birthday party at the pub.
“You’re going?” I spluttered, unable to conceal my shock.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
“I just thought…you know what? Never mind.” If Zoe was up for going to the party, if she wanted to face it, then she was tougher than even I gave her credit for. There was no way in hell I was going to be the one to stand in her way.
“Will you…” her voice faltered.
“Anything, Zoe. You know that. Just ask.” I wouldn’t deny her. Not now. I never had before, why would I start now?
“Well, in that case, I have two requests.” She smiled, and it was beautiful. A genuine, wicked smile that reached her eyes and reminded me just how beautiful she really was.
“Demanding much?”
“Always. Anyway, first request…will you be my date to the party tonight?”
She dropped her eyes and wrung her hands together. When she bit her lip I knew I was done for. She was nervous. Zoe was never nervous. She was usually the confident, charismatic woman who walked with her head held high. I couldn’t handle seeing her like this. Something squeezed my heart. Hard.
“Thought you’d never ask.” I winked, putting her out of her misery. When her eyes met mine, I could read the relief there. “What was your second question, Pippi?”
“Stay here with me until I fall back asleep. I understand if you don’t…”
“Don’t even finish that sentence! Just scoot over.” I waved my hand and she wiggled across to the other side of my bed. Kicking off my shoes, I laid down beside her and was instantly engulfed by her scent. It was everywhere. It was on my pillow, on my sheets, and on the woman curled up beside me. I’ll be damned if it didn’t smell like heaven and hell combined.
I tried to make myself comfortable but I was being so careful to make sure I didn’t accidentally bump her. She didn’t need me getting too close. But fuck, if I didn’t want to. I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself around her and never let go.
Exhaling heavily, I sunk my head into the pillow and stuffed my hands under my head. Maybe if I restrained them they couldn’t unwittingly touch against a soft curve that they shouldn’t. Closing my eyes, I settled in for a long, tortuous nap.
My eyes had been closed barely five minutes when a skinny, soft arm wound its way around my waist and a head covered by an untamed mane of brown hair dropped onto my chest.
“Thank you, Spencer. For everything,” Zoe whispered into my ear. The warmth of her breath on my neck sent all of my blood rushing south. I could do nothing but groan.
I woke up because I was warm. Too warm. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the dark room I knew why. The lithe brunette was wrapped around me like a vine. Suddenly it didn’t matter how hot I was. At some point during our nap I’d managed to pull Zoe flush up against me and wrapped her in my arms.
Slowly I untangled us and stole a glance at my watch. It was just after six in the evening. I knew it was time to wake Zoe. If she still wanted to go to Katie’s party she’d have time to get ready. If she didn’t…well, I’d order some pizza and we could just slouch on the couch for the evening. I know which I’d prefer but I wasn’t about to take the choice away from her. That had already happened enough to her today.
“Hey Zoe,” I cooed softly in her ear as I brushed an untamed curl from her forehead. “Come on. Time to wake up, Pippi.”
“Don’t touch me!” she squealed, leaping from the bed, arms flailing about like a wet cat.
I watched her for a moment as she adjusted her eyesight, got her breathing under control. “Fuck, Spencer. You scared the shit out of me!” she panted, clutching her chest dramatically.
With a wide grin, I crawled from the bed, straightening the covers before turning my attention back to Zoe. She was a sight for sore eyes. Standing there wearing only my shirt, which hung down to just above her knees, she stole my breath. The black eye and split lip were an ugly reminder of what she’d been through. A realisation that iced the adult only thoughts running through my mind.
“Sorry, it was time for you to wake up.” I winked as I tossed a pillow back into place.
“Yeah, I suppose. Thanks, I guess.”
“So Zoe, about the party…”
“I’m not going to argue about this one, Spencer. I came home for Katie’s party and that’s what she’s counting on. I’m not going to let her down,” Zoe reaffirmed.
“I’m sure she’d understand, considering―”
“No, Spencer. Not considering. I’m here and I’m going. The only thing you need to decide is if you are coming with me.”
I remembered why stubborn Zoe drove me insane. When she wanted something she didn’t back down. Not for anything or anyone. It was a trait to be admired. Generally. Right now, she was being a pain in the ass. When she pouted though, she knew she won.
“Fine. You can use the bathroom first,” I conceded, heading towards my wardrobe. Gee, I hope I had something clean I could wear.
“Thanks, Spence.” Zoe smiled as she kissed my cheek and disappeared into the bathroom.
I waited until I heard the groan of the pipes as the shower came to life before I sunk down on the bed. How the fuck was I going to get through this night? There would be people everywhere. People who wanted to talk to Zoe. People who wanted to touch her. That thought alone made me queasy. “Fuck it!” I cursed, dragging my hands through my hair. It was going to be a bloody long night.
Reluctantly I searched the wardrobe and found some clean clothes. They needed ironing, that wouldn’t take long. I heard Zoe shut off the shower and was shocked when she walked into my bedroom wearing nothing but a towel and a sly smile. She looked amazing. Fresh. Young. Free. My Zoe was still in there and she was as sexy as hell.
“Mind if I get dressed in here? I figured you wanted to use the bathroom,” she cooed innocently.
I don’t know if she knew what she was doing to me and if she was playing it up or if she was just that good that she didn’t have to try to make my dick twitch in my pants. Groaning uncomfortably, I backed away and stepped into the hall.
“Good thinking,” I tossed out over my shoulder as I stepped into the bathroom into what I knew had to be a cold shower. An icy cold shower.
Chapter 13
ZOE
I was glad to have a few minutes to myself. I was standing in Spencer’s bedroom in nothing but a towel. My second shower in a few hours had helped wash away some of the grime that coated me but I still felt dirty. Part of me wondered if that feeling would ever go away. Spencer had been the perfect gentleman and the very best friend anyone could ask for. It had been completely overwhelming to awaken wrapped safely in his arms and the intense feeling that made me realise there was nowhere else I’d rather be.
I grabbed my bag and upended it on the be
d. I still had no idea what I was supposed to wear. My bag was filled with things to impress and make me feel good. Yet right now, all I wanted was to pull on my favourite well-worn flannelette pyjamas. They were at home. And probably not acceptable party attire. Unfortunately.
After grabbing the tamest set of panties I owned, I pulled on my jeans. Even though they hugged my body in all the right places and usually I was proud of how good they made my butt look, tonight I didn’t want anyone looking. And god forbid they touched. But they were the best I had. All I had. I pulled on a camisole and tucked it in. Then I looked through my tops. I never thought I’d dressed slutty before. I thought I was pretty tame with my clothing choices. The pile in front of me though, revealed something else. I’d only brought a choice of three tops. A green fitted knit dress that finished just below my butt and showed off every curve I had. A purple V necked long sleeve shirt with sequins along the collar. Or a white button down three quarter sleeve shirt that pulled across my chest. I didn’t want to wear any of them.
Defeated, I hobbled over to Spencer’s closet and browsed his collection. As messy as his house had been, his closet was overly tidy. On every hanger, the clothes were organised by colour shade. Shirts and sweaters, perfectly pressed. It didn’t take long for me to make a decision. I grabbed a shirt and slid it on. It was way too big. I didn’t care. I tucked it into the top of my jeans and then fastened the cuffs. Then I grabbed a charcoal woollen sweater and pulled it over my head. After adjusting the collar, I looked in the mirror. I didn’t look to bad, considering. I hoped makeup could cover the rest, and once I did something with my hair, I should at least look half decent. The best thing about Spencer’s clothes though, they covered everything I needed them to without looking like I was wearing a sack. It looked deliberate.
After pulling on my knee-high black boots over my jeans, I was dressed. And just in time too. Spencer appeared at the door and I had to look twice. He looked good. Too good. He too wore dark jeans and a button down shirt with a hint of a grey t-shirt peeping out from underneath, causing my breath to hitch.
“You look good in my clothes, Zoe,” he growled, his voice thick.
“Sorry I didn’t ask, Spencer. I just―”
“Zoe, it’s fine.”
“You sure?”
“Perfectly.”
“Okay, well, is the bathroom free? I need to do something with my face,” I admitted, grabbing my makeup bag.
“Yep. It’s all yours.”
“Thanks.” I smiled before shuffling quickly out the door and locking myself in the bathroom.
It took me a few moments to get my heart beat back under control before I started on my hair. I didn’t have a hair dryer and I assumed Spencer didn’t, either. I hadn’t thought to pack one since I was supposed to be staying in a hotel. After quickly running a towel through my hair, I knew it was as good as it was going to get. I combed my hair and twisted it up on top of my head, taking care to make sure enough stray pieces fell loose across my head to help hide the stitches.
I started putting my makeup on as normal, but you could still see every blemish. It was beyond frustrating. After doubling the layer of foundation, I applied everything thicker than I usually would. Maybe I could hide behind the mask. Maybe enough swipes of the mascara wand would hide the tears and disguise the bags below my eyes. It took barely twenty minutes before I gave up. I wasn’t exactly happy with how everything had turned out, but I just couldn’t find the energy to care.
Squaring my shoulders, I pulled opened the door and walked determinedly into the lounge room. Spencer sat on a bar stool at the kitchen bench, sipping a glass of water while flicking through a magazine. I allowed myself a brief second to appreciate his appearance before I walked up and stood beside him, nudging him with my shoulder.
“You ready?” I asked, my voice trembling.
As much as I was pretending I was okay the truth was I was freaking the fuck out.
Spencer rose gracefully. He towered over me but I wasn’t afraid. I never needed to be afraid of Spencer. He rested his hands deliberately on my shoulders, bent down, and lined up our faces so our eyes were level. “Zoe, you know you don’t have to do this, don’t you?”
“I know,” I squeaked.
“You still want to though, don’t you?”
“I have to.”
“I know. Well then, let’s get it over with,” he confirmed strongly.
I felt myself nod and Spencer’s warm fingers wrapped around mine as he led me out the door and down the driveway. When he opened my door I realised how much this must be hurting him as well. I’d been selfish. The whole time I’d been getting ready I kept reassuring myself that I’d be okay. That Spencer wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt me, but not once did I pause to consider how hard it would be for him. He’d always been a nice guy. A good guy. Opening car doors for women wasn’t something I’d ever seen him do before.
The drive was only ten minutes yet every moment felt like an eternity. Each breath felt like it was being wrenched from my chest. By the time we pulled into the car park in a shower of gravel and dust, I was sweating, my pulse was racing, and my chest was aching. I was regretting my stubbornness and wishing I’d accepted Spencer’s offer to stay home, but I’d never admit that now. I’d told him I could do this and now I had to follow through.
I should have known Spencer better than that.
As he put the car in park and killed the ignition, he grabbed my arm. “Zoe?”
“Yep,” I answered a little too quickly.
I could feel the bead of perspiration on my lip and as much as I wanted to wipe it away, I knew that would just draw attention to myself. I was hoping that in the dark, Spencer hadn’t noticed.
“What do you want to tell people?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, what story do you want to tell them? I just want to make sure we’re on the same page before we head inside.”
“Oh,” I spluttered. Inside, I was thanking God that Spencer was beside me right now because the reality was I’d hadn’t even thought about how to explain it. Any of it. No amount of makeup would cover the split lip and the stitches. Right now I had no lie on the tip of my tongue that I could roll out confidently. “Ummm…”
“I have an idea,” he offered.
“Yeah?”
“What if we just tell everyone you had an accident?”
I exhaled heavily. It was pure genius. It was simple. Easy to remember and it wasn’t that big of a stretch. Or at least it was a lie small enough that I was comfortable with it. “Sounds perfect,” I admitted, offering a small, simple smile.
When Spencer reached over, took hold of my hand, and silently started rubbing circles with his thumb, my whole body melted into the seat. We sat in silence in the front of the car, both staring out the window into the darkness, the music from inside muffled, and it was calming. More than I wanted to admit, Spencer eased everything. I don’t know if he was doing it to help me or himself. I guess it didn’t matter.
Chapter 14
SPENCER
I should have done a work out earlier. I should have gone for a run. I should have beat the crap out of the punching bag hanging in the garage. I should have burnt off some of this tension that was consuming me and boiling my blood. Instead I’d lain down and had a nap. Something I was now deeply regretting.
If I’d had my way I’d be sitting on the lounge in my sweat pants, beer in one hand, pizza in the other, Zoe curled up in my lap and the door locked. That way I’d know she was safe. Happy. Instead, here we were sitting in my car, I could feel the pulse in her wrist going absolutely ballistic beneath my fingers and I could see the sweat gathering on her lip, but I couldn’t say anything about it. She obviously wasn’t doing as well as she was pretending to and I didn’t want to be the asshole that made it worse for her.
“You ready?” I asked, surprised at how shaky my own voice sounded.
I didn’t think I was afraid, but the way the wor
ds came out I realised that maybe I was.
Zoe sucked in a deep breath and winced. I knew her ribs must be causing her pain and I kept waiting for her to complain, but she surprised me yet again and instead bit her lip. She looked at me and I wanted nothing more than to punch something. Her eyes were wide and wild. Filled with fear. Every thought in my head was wishing I could take that fear away for her.
“Okay. Let’s do this,” Zoe declared with a wide, fake smile. I knew it was fake. It didn’t light up her eyes.
“Let’s do it.”
I climbed from the car, my legs trembling underneath me. Shaking off the feeling of dread that had gathered in my stomach, I walked around the car, helped Zoe out, and led her inside. I felt her stiffen in my embrace and I wished I knew who the asswipe was who’d ruined the perfection that was my Zoe.
Stepping inside the pub, it was nothing other than what I expected. The familiar old men were sitting at the end of the bar, wearing moleskins, flannelette shirts and worn work boots sipping their beer. Standing around the battered old pool table were the group of mates that I’d known since we started playing junior football at under sixes. I waved a hello and guided Zoe towards the bar.
“Didn’t know if I’d see you tonight, Spencer,” the bartender said as she poured a beer.
“You know us,” I shrugged it off. Zoe squeezed my hand even tighter if that was at all possible. Her vise-like grip was cutting off the circulation in my fingers, but I wasn’t about to pry our hands apart.
“Yes, I do,” she smirked knowingly. “Hey Zoe, sweetheart.” I watched as Mum leant over the bar and placed a soft kiss on Zoe’s cheek, before trailing her fingers over Zoe’s scar.
I felt Zoe shift beside me and her warm breath on my neck. “I’m going to say happy birthday to Katie.”
“Want me to come?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I’m right here…” I left my promise hanging. I didn’t need to finish it. Zoe knew.
“Thanks,” she whispered before leaving a soft kiss behind my ear and disappearing across the room.
Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) Page 6
