Case of the Great Danish

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Case of the Great Danish Page 7

by Erik Schubach


  I had to snort not more than five minutes later when I got a text from Ker, '911 – what do you think I should wear tonight? She said semi-formal.'

  I smirked at my screen as I thought a moment and texted with absolute surety, 'Wear your uniform. Not only is it class incarnate showing her parents you respect them, but it would make MJ into a drooling Ker-bear groupie.'

  Jess gave an inquisitive look, and I just shrugged and supplied, “Client verifying a grooming appointment for Hercules next week.” Lies I tell you!

  Then I had an epiphany and asked her, “You still have that little black Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffany's dress in the back of your closet?” She looked horrified for a moment but then got a wicked gleam in her eyes. I added, “I can put your hair up, and I have the wide-brimmed hat.”

  She snorted. “You really aren't little Miss Sweet and Innocent, now are you? You're going to Fin me like I'm drawn in black and white.”

  I noted the absence of any sort of refusal on her part. Ker wasn't going to know what hit her. I was sooo glad Jane wasn't here, she'd be all warning me about meddling, but these dense women needed a clue to flatten them from above. Enter Finnegan May, meddler extraordinaire. Let the flattening commence.

  I dragged her off to her room. “Let's get this show on the road.” I was curious to see my bestie in a dress as it was. She only had two of them hiding in the back of her closet, and one looked suspiciously like an old prom dress.

  She's not butch or anything, I mean she's more like an advertisement for feminine badassery, since she, like Jane, couldn't hide her curves if she wanted to, even with that awesome leather trench coat she wears now. We were about to take full advantage of her assets now.

  My cell buzzed, and I glanced at the text from Jane. 'Staking out the Paris Hotel Suites at five, so won't be home until six or seven. Sorry.' I understood, they were way understaffed today, so she was going to wait for the dognapper herself. The hotel is pretty bland to look at, with the small Eiffel Tower on its roof being the only thing to give character to the grey stone structure.

  I just knew she was probably at her desk right now eating junk food. I'd start a roast in the slow cooker when I was done with Jessie. Then it wouldn't matter how late Jane was. I found myself mentally crossing my fingers that she could find the person and save Tinkerbell.

  “Go take a shower, leave your hair wet, I'll see what I can work with in here.”

  I moved to her closet as she passed through the door into the connected bathroom, already peeling out of her clothes to tease me. I teased as I looked away, “Skank!”

  She parried with, “Puritan,” as she slid the door shut.

  Heh, that was a new one. I swear she has a book of comebacks she studies.

  I looked at Calvin and prompted, “Ok boy, shall we brave the depth of her closet?” He, apparently, was bored with whatever we were doing. He just cocked his head, tongue lolling out to the side before he just trotted out and into the main room. What the fuzzy heck? That's so just like a man. I called after him, “Fine, I'll do it myself. Traitor.”

  I absently wondered what the elegant black dress had been for as I pulled it out from the murky depths and unzipped the garment bag to run my fingers along its silky fabric. This was no knockoff. I knew a Sylvia Bordeaux when I saw one. It was close to a two thousand dollar dress.

  Jessie always dresses nice and edgy, but this garment was at a whole new level for her. The most expensive thing in her wardrobe had to be that coat she was so proud of, and even that she got at a huge discount from the shop she manages, the City Kitty alternative attire boutique. It was a tenth of the price of this dress.

  I saw a box from Isabelle's on the shelf above the clothing rods and moved the folding chair she used at her makeup table over to stand on. I pulled the box down and peeked inside, just to fall in love with the black Manolo Blahnik kitten heels it contained. They were a perfect compliment to the calf length dress.

  Hmm, they really were perfect. I looked back and forth between the dress and the shoes. She had this outfit which was so out of character for her. Was it for some sort of special occasion?

  I placed the box beside the garment bag then walked out and upstairs, thinking of what Audrey had worn in that movie. She, to me, was grace personified. My eyes widened in excitement as I dashed to my jewelry box. I didn't really wear much jewelry except earrings unless I was feeling sassy, but I had the perfect thing.

  I pulled out the wide, flat box, from the bottom drawer and hugged it to my chest, then snagged my wide-brimmed, black and white bonnet, and some black satin gloves and made my way back downstairs. I paused in the door, Jess was wearing only a camisole and her panties. I blinked. Her figure made me feel like I had the body of a pre-pubescent teenaged boy.

  I smiled at the guile on her face. She knew she was gorgeous, and she liked this reaction from people, she was so bad. I set my things down and moved the chair back to her makeup station and patted it. “Sit.”

  She rolled her eyes as she complied. “Stay? Roll over?”

  I harrumphed, then smirked. Then she looked almost terrified as I descended upon her with a hair dryer and a brush.

  Chapter 7 – Gulliver's Gate

  We finished not a moment too soon. She had just received a text from Ker, that she was on her way. She couldn't drive her bike in this winter storm, so she had to be taking a taxi.

  I looked at Jess, just standing in front of her old-fashioned, full-length mirror which her mother had bought for her last month at a yard sale Upstate. She was all curves and grace, her striking red locks put up in a bun, with some strands strategically loose to drape along her cheeks.

  She was getting impatient while I plucked her brows and did her makeup. She rarely wore anything but a little gloss to bring your attention to her lips. She didn't need more than that as she was naturally pretty. But we went elegant with shocking red satin lipstick, the same shade as her hair.

  She had been close to six feet tall before the heels, now she stood at least six foot two. She was a nineteen fifties pinup fantasy come to life, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't drooling a bit, then feeling terrible about it, like I was cheating on Jane for seeing just how sexy her ex truly was. But, dayum.

  She tried on the hat. I had kept her bun low on purpose, so it was visible with the hat in place. She snickered and put on some huge white framed sunglasses she had, and it almost completed the look.

  I said to her as I offered the box I brought down with me, “You're stunning MJ.”

  She actually blushed and almost demurely accepted the box I handed her. Then she took the glasses off quickly and stared, wide-eyed at the contents.

  I reached out and took the necklace and moved around her. “My grandmother's pearls. My mom gave them to me when I moved to the city. These will be the perfect accessory.”

  She ran a finger across the matching bracelet and antique clip-on earrings. “They're gorgeous, Fin.”

  I nodded as she lowered her head a little as I stretched up to clasp the necklace on her. Then she put on the earrings, and I clasped the loose bracelet on her wrist.

  I stood back to see the overall effect. Perfect. I said with authority, “Damn, I do good work. Kerry is doomed.”

  She growled at me, still trying to pretend she wasn't doing this for Ker, but the little-satisfied smile tugging at the corners of her painted lips told a different story.

  I asked as I admired my work, “It really is a pretty dress, was it for something special?”

  My heart sank for the woman as she shrugged and tried to play it off as no big deal. “It was the dress I was going to wear at my wedding to Jane if she ever popped the question. I'm not a white wedding sort of gal.”

  What do you say to that? I felt awkward like I had stolen her girlfriend from her, even though they had broken up. Jess had been the one to do the actual breaking up. She had been thinking marriage? I absently twisted the ring on my finger. />
  I inhaled, then started stuffing her essentials into a little black satin clutch for her when we heard a knock at the door. Cal was whining. I said, “Your girl's here. I'll get her.”

  She didn't protest. Instead, she looked suddenly nervous, down at herself. I grabbed her hand and assured her with a little squeeze, “She is going to love this.” She nodded, and I dashed off to get the door before Cal turned himself inside out.

  I called out, “Coming.”

  Kerry said from the other side, “Hurry up, shrimp, this hallway is frigid.”

  I chuckled as I unlocked the door and swung it open. My breath caught. I've seen Ker in her uniform before, many times down at the Box, where she recruited young men and women to serve in the Air Force and reserve. But that was the casual, everyday uniform. This...

  She looked at me in question then she slowly smiled in that crooked way she had when she was truly amused. She stepped past me, stopping just long enough to lift a hand to close my mouth. She seemed smugly satisfied as she stepped inside. “Hey, Cal.”

  I shut and locked the door, getting my wits about me before turning to look at her again. She moved her arms to her sides, her uniform cap in one like she was inviting comment.

  I pride my self on my vocabulary and ability to clearly articulate. What came out was, “Ker... you... wow.” I absently wondered if I could talk Jane into wearing her old uniform from when she was a beat cop, because, I have to tell you, I apparently had something for women in uniform.

  Her dress uniform was crisp and professional, and that wide belt on her waist and white gloves... I wanted to salute. She smirked at me. “Good. That's the reaction I'm shooting for. Think she'll like?”

  We both turned to an almost shy, “She'll like.”

  Ker actually gasped and stood up straight, tucking her cap under her arm when she saw the red-headed vision. The cartoon version of myself in my head, which had doggy ears and a tail, was bounding around with little hearts bursting everywhere when I saw the amazed and hungry looks the women shared.

  Anything standing in between the two would have been incinerated by the heat arcing between them. I smiled smugly and said as I first gave Kerry a kiss on the cheek, then Jess. “My work here is done. Have fun at the parents' kids.”

  Kerry was fumbling around not knowing exactly what to do and settled on offering an elbow to the elegant woman she couldn't tear her eyes from. Jessie blushed and looked at her hands then placed a hand on Ker's arm.

  They had eyes only for each other as Ker led her to the door. “You look beautiful, Jessie.”

  Jess finally got her wits about her and said, “You clean up nice yourself, Fly Girl.”

  I smiled at them as I shut the door behind them and was already locking and unlocking it a few times as they both called out, “Lock the door, Fin.” They were all always looking out for me, and that made me feel... happy.

  I heard Jess teasing, “I'm taller than you for once. I feel like Gulliver in these shoes.”

  I smiled at their receding banter then paled. Gulliver? That's what had been nagging at me all afternoon! I think Jane is going to the wrong place. There's another Eiffel Tower in town!

  I ran to the little office area by the staircase and pulled up a web browser on my iPad. I typed in Gulliver's Gate. As it pulled up, I shook my head at myself. I should have thought of this when I saw a commercial for Gulliver's Gate on the TV earlier.

  It was a new attraction in Times Square that was built by dozens of artisans around the world. It itself was a world of its own. Some of the most prominent cities and attractions in the world had been reduced to Lilliputian scale so that people could walk through the exhibit and see wonders most would never be able to see in their lifetimes. Of course one of the cities which was reproduced in miniature was Paris. And the centerpiece of that display is an Eiffel Tower which appears to be around ten feet tall or more by the commercial.

  It all looked so familiar because I remember the flyers and playbills that were in the window of Havermail's Baked Goods. They had a flyer for the Christmas showing at Gulliver's Gate, and it stated proudly that Havermail's was one of the main sponsors and donors for the project. I should have remembered earlier, but I had been a little stressed out, what with there being another body and all.

  And since the bakery had been a sponsor, I'm sure Mrs. Havermail was well aware of the tower in the display.

  I'm probably wrong, there are such things as coincidences in this world you know, Fin. I looked at the time. Jane would already be in place at the Paris Hotel Suites, and I know if I called her, she'd be upset with me and explain to me the seventeen ways I was wrong and to leave the police work to the police. She would be right.

  But.

  I looked back toward the door. Cal had to go out for a walk anyway. It wouldn't hurt just to go take a look. I'm sure I'm wrong anyway. Besides, I want to see a tiny world too. And if I happened to see anything out of the ordinary... then I could call Jane.

  I looked out the french doors in the living room to the snow storm beyond. It was already getting dark, even though the sun was still on the horizon somewhere, preparing to set. I needed battle mode if I was going out there.

  Ten minutes later, I was in jeans again, the only other pair I had, with leg warmers, fuzzy boots, and my heavy winter jacket. Cal, who would be mostly fine out there as dogs have higher body temperatures than us delicate humans, not to mention his fur coat, still had an insulating blanket under his service dog bib. I had little-insulated booties for him in my bag if his little tootsies got chilly.

  I wrapped my scarf around my neck, snapped my fuzzy earmuffs over my ears and pulled up the jacket's fuzzy rimmed hat, then struck a silly pose for Calvin. “So?”

  He barked once, I'm sure he thought I was a goof, but he was gentleman enough not to voice it. I beamed down at him, and we went out. I had chosen a blue pastel motif for our walk slash info gathering outing. Well, I sort of had to since my heavy winter jacket is pastel blue and white, I wouldn't want to clash.

  Why are you looking at me like that? Shut up. So what if I'm fashion conscious?

  When we stepped outside, I could barely see the street lamps which were trying to shine their cold light through the falling and blowing snow. It was like it was night already, the sky blotted out by the storm clouds. I knew there should have been the orange glow of the sun setting, but not in this storm.

  I surprised my fuzzy sidekick by walking south, away from Central Park and toward Times Square. His tail started working as he realized where we were heading. I informed him, “Sorry boy, Ker isn't working today, so she can't sneak you some of the beef jerky she has in her desk drawer there.” I knew all the covert ways the ladies tried to spoil my boy, thinking they were sneaky.

  They didn't realize that I was likely the worst offender. But who can blame me? I mean, he's just so cute.

  I started humming the Mission Impossible theme song as we made our way down the sidewalk in the rapidly deepening snow. We didn't see many people rushing around outside, and traffic was virtually nonexistent, this storm was putting the city in a deep freeze. Yellow strobing beacons cut through the blizzard from time to time, followed by the low throaty rumble of the snow plows that fought to keep the streets open in one of the busiest metropolises in the world.

  Snow didn't usually last long in Manhattan unless we had an unusually long cold snap like now. When it got this way, there were only so many places they could move the snow. If it got much worse, the huge dump trucks and front-end loaders would be out, shipping the snow out of the city or dumping it in the East River.

  To keep my mind off of finding a poor woman, dead on the floor of her bakery, I imagined Cal and myself as intrepid explorers, in search of the legendary Yeti. Feeling silly I said as we marched on, “Day twelve, and still, no signs of the shaggy beast the locals have described to us. But I hold out hope that we can once and for all, prove to the world that yes, the Yeti and Bigf
oot are just the same man who has been wandering the world, still a little disconcerted after eating some 'special' brownies at Woodstock decades ago.”

  My furry companion was amused, I could tell.

  A gust of wind and blowing snow swirled around us, reminding me why Mother Nature was the queen of the world. Brr. I shivered, even cocooned in my, what had Jane called it the other day? My marshmallow suit? The jerk cop can suck it, it was cold out.

  I absently thought of all the times, Garrett, Wiz, and the other guys would go sledding at the local golf course. Some of the rolling hills between the twelfth and sixteenth hole were legendary. I followed Gar around all the time. He was so sure and confident and popular, and I always wanted to be those things, so he was sort of my hero.

  And where I went, Kerry was there, she had my back. I would never have taken a chance on those red plastic toboggans of death if not for her prodding. She was fearless even back then. And I'm so glad she had prodded me into taking a chance. It was exhilarating and terrifying and more fun than I had had in like forever. It made me feel sort of free of the little bubble of anxiety I kept myself in, by not having any control as the sled tore down the hills.

  Sometimes taking a chance can show you something amazing and life changing which you would have missed otherwise. I still believe that lesson, of taking a chance, is why I was able to do the most terrifying thing of my life, when I said goodbye to my old life to embrace the big city, and I've never looked back.

  It is so odd how it is always after the fact like this when you can put the thing in perspective, that you can objectively see the seemingly innocuous little building blocks like that which have shaped your life in profound ways. I wonder just who Finnegan Temperance May would have been if she hadn't taken that chance as a little kid.

  Actually, I'm pretty sure I know. I'd be at home with mom, in my own bubble I felt safe in. Never doing anything I could feel proud of, never meeting Calvin, or Jessie, or Jane. I kind of like who I have become, and I'm glad that little girl made that decision to sled down that hill. The bigger the chance, the greater the reward.

 

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