Her Rebellious Heart: A Scottish Historical Romance

by McBride, Marian

  “Aye, lassie, there's something in the air tonight, and if a storm does come, it will be a bad one.”

  He put his arm about her shoulders. “Why don't you go lie down for a little while? If you can get some sleep, it will do you a world of good.”

  “All right, Robert, I'll try it. I don't seem to be much good for anything else at the moment.”

  She went upstairs to her room. A fire was burning in the small grate, giving the area a cozy atmosphere. Upon removing her dress and shoes, she lay down on top of the bed, pulling a blanket robe over her to ward off a slight chill in the air.

  She quickly drifted off to sleep but was just as quickly roused when the storm broke. Listening to the fury of the elements all around her, she snuggled deeper into the covers as lightning, followed by bursts of thunder, flashed across the room. Hearing the pelting rain on the windows, she breathed a prayer of thankfulness for the safety and comfort of her home.

  Then, suddenly in the midst of the tumult, she heard another sound: the crack of rockets. She bolted upright, knowing the sound could mean only one thing: a ship was in distress or already grounded on the rocks offshore.

  “God, help those poor men out there,” she murmured to herself, then something flashed across her mind, and her thoughts flew to Aidan.

  She heard or felt something telling her he was in great danger. She wasn't sure what it was, but the certainty that he was at risk was so strong. The sound of bursting rockets came again. She sprang from the bed and hurriedly donned the dress and shoes. She raced downstairs with one thought in mind, to reach Aidan wherever he was.

  “I've got to tell him now.” The words slipped out of her mouth. “He's got to know how I feel about him.”

  Besse was at one of the windows peering out into the gloom. “Besse, Besse, where are the men? I've got to talk to Aidan.”

  “Now, now, lassie, calm yourself down. They have both gone to the shore to see if they can be of any help. There is a cargo boat ashore on the rocks. The lifeboat has gone out to try and get the crew off her.”

  “I know, Besse, I know, but there's something I have to tell Aidan before anything happens to him. I feel he is in grave danger, and I must see him. Oh, Besse if he should never come back...!”

  Tears streamed down her cheeks as she headed for the east door.

  “No no,” remonstrated Besse, “you can't go out in this foul weather and would only be in the way down there. They are doing men's work.”

  She caught hold of Bridget's arm as she spoke, but there was no holding her. Bridget charged toward the door. Besse followed her, saying, “All right, Bridget but here put on this oilskin coat and hat.” She jammed the sou’wester down on top of Bridget's red curls before she dashed out the door as if the devil himself was after her.

  Bridger was met by a violent gust of wind that almost took her breath away, but it was not enough to make her change her mind. No matter what, she was determined to find Aidan.

  Buffeted unmercifully by the storm, she slowly reached the white fence that ran nearly all the way to the shore. She held onto it as she made her way forward against the wind, her progress now a little faster thanks to the support of the fence. When she heard the shouting of many voices and saw lanterns swinging in the dark, Bridget knew she was near her destination.

  She picked up her pace and headed towards a group of men near the rock on the cove where she and Robert had walked so often. As she came closer, she realized her grandfather was one of the men. She staggered over to him and caught hold of his arm. He turned around, disbelief in his eyes when he saw who it was.

  “Bridget! What in heaven's name are you doing down here? You shouldn't be out of the house in a storm like this.”

  “Robert, Robert,” she cried, “where is Aidan? I had a premonition he is in some kind of danger. I must talk to him.”

  Seeing how distraught she was, Robert put one arm across her shoulders and led her a little closer to the rock where a makeshift shelter had been erected. Bridget observed two men holding the ends of a cover over someone lying prone on the sand.

  Robert pointed at the figure saying sadly, “There's Aidan, Bridget. James is desperately trying to bring him round. Our laddie almost drowned tonight.”

  She tried to break away from her grandfather and go to Aidan, but he held her fast. “No, lass, not now, you would just be in the way. Leave the men free to do all they can for him.”

  Tears and rain streamed down her face as she watched James Tosh give Aidan first aid. His huge hands rhythmically pressed on the lad's back just under his ribs, forcing the air in and out of his lungs. As they watched, fear clutched at her heart. Finally, Aidan groaned and tried to move.

  “Oh, God,” she breathed fervently, “give him back to us.”

  Robert's voice broke in on her prayer, “Look now, lass, he's coming around. I will tell you later what happened, but now you run back to the house and get a big fire going in the parlor. Have Besse put the warming bottles in Aidan's bed. We'll be bringing him home shortly.”

  “Oh, Robert are you sure?” she asked, anxiety consuming her. “You are not just trying to pacify me, are you?”

  “No, lass, see for yourself he's starting to move on his own. Off you go now and do what I said.”

  He smiled at her, nodding his head, and with a last longing look at Aidan, she hurried off to do Robert's bidding.

  The winds now at her back propelled her toward the castle. Her head was in turmoil with all the different noises around her, winds howling, men shouting one to the other, and angry waves crashing on the shore, but Bridget was deliriously happy. Aidan was safe, and soon he would be home where she could tend to him.

  With the support of a man on either side of him, Aidan was half carried, half dragged back to the castle. When his wet clothes had been removed by Robert, Bridget helped Besse hang them up near the parlor and kitchen fires after they had been run through the mangle to get some of the water out.

  She could hear James Tosh and Robert talking encouragingly to Aidan and longed to be in the bedroom with them herself, so she too could do something to help the lad. But she knew her grandfather would not allow it at this point. She could almost hear him tell her that it wouldn't be proper for a young lady to do such a thing.

  Rather viciously she poked the fire, heaping more coals upon it. Anything to keep busy, she thought. Then, she heard the sound of retching coming from the water closet. Apparently the seawater Aidan had swallowed and the brandy that had been forced upon him had not been a good combination.

  Besse came through from the kitchen and said, “Poor laddie, he sounds awfu' sick.”

  “Besse, I wish I knew what's going on in there. Do you think we can go in now and see?”

  “Here comes, James,” Besse answered,“let's see what he says. Is the laddie awright, James?”

  “He's been through a bad experience, lassies, but I think he'll be fine when he gets good and warmed up.”

  Bridget asked, “Is it all right for us to go in and see him now, James?”

  “I think so, but let him sleep if he has a mind ta. Rest is the thing he needs the now.”

  He smiled at them and added, “I'm going home to get into some dry clothes maself.”

  “Aye James ye better, afore ye catch yer death,” said Besse.

  Bridget walked to the door with him thinking that the huge man looked utterly indestructible.

  “Thank you, James, for all you've done this night,” she said in a quavering voice, “and haste ye back to see him.”

  “Aye, lassie, I will that. I'm greatly concerned about the lad. Goodnight now and dinna worry.” He smiled as he bent down to kiss her on the cheek.

  Locking the heavy door after he had gone, she came back into the parlor and found Besse was not there. Hearing excited voices from the direction of Aidan's bedroom, she hurried in there to see what was going on.

  Consternation was on the faces of both Robert and Besse. Bridget saw that Aidan was tremblin
g violently as if he were chilled to the bone. Besse had piled a mount of covers over him, but he still shivered from the cold.

  “What can we do now, sir?” Besse asked. “We can't put any more covers on him, he could suffocate if we do.”

  Bridget looked at the two scared faces. A plan was forming in her mind and she felt she knew exactly what Aidan needed. I'll probably shock the two of them out of their minds, but I've got to try and help my laddie.

  She straightened her spine and brusquely, “I have an idea that might work, but don't get shocked when you see what I have in mind. I do believe it's the only thing that will help him right now.”

  Quickly kicking off her shoes, she lifted the covers on the bed and slid underneath them, close to Aidan. Enveloping him in her arms as much as she possibly could, she drew his face against her bosom. She rested her face on his black hair. Holding him tightly, she whispered softly to him and caressed his hair. Robert and Besse were forgotten for the moment, her only thought being to help Aidan at all costs.

  Utterly exhausted, Aiden raised his head slightly and looked at Bridget through half closed, disbelieving eyes. He whispered questioningly, “Bridget?”

  “Yes, love, it's Bridget, but relax now and sleep. Tomorrow we shall talk.”

  He tried to speak to her again, but she put her finger on his lips, saying, “Hush, my love, and sleep.”

  With a deep sigh, he relaxed and snuggled closer. The trembling of his body continued for a while longer. She continued murmuring softly to him and gradually a change came. Still, she held him close until he fell asleep.

  As gently as possible, she slipped out from beneath the covers. Removing some of them she said to Besse,“He won't need all of these now. He'll be warm enough without so many.” She tucked the remaining blankets closely around him and bent over to kiss him gently before turning to leave the room.

  Besse turned the lamp down low and the three of them slipped quietly from the room, leaving the door slightly ajar so that they could hear if he should wake up again.

  When they were seated by the fire, Robert was the first one to speak, “Lassie, it worked, but where in the world did you get such an idea?”

  Smiling, she answered simply, “From my mum.”

  “But—but,” stammered Robert.

  Still smiling, she said,“Whenever any of us girls were hurt or feeling unwell at night in our bed, Mum would always hear us cry out in pain. She would ask Father to go lie on the settee in the company room, and then she would take whichever one of us who needed her into my parents' bed. The moment we were cradled in her arms and felt the close comfort of her body, our pains miraculously disappeared. After a good night's sleep, we were much better in the morning. I thought that was what Aidan needed, love and comforting.”

  “Well, I never,” said Robert, rubbing the back of his head, “but it gave me quite a start to see you get into bed with him. I almost tried to stop you.”

  She smiled and shook her head, “You couldn't have, Grandfather. My desire to help Aidan was too strong, but I'm sorry if I shocked you.”

  She laughed impishly. “Besides, I intend to marry the lad if he still wants me.”

  In spite of his recent ordeal, Robert smiled happily upon hearing her words.

  Bridget continued, “He seems to be completely worn out and will probably sleep the night through. Now, I want to hear just what happened to him tonight.”

  Before Robert could answer, Besse said, “I'll keep both our doors open tonight, so I can hear him if he should wake up and need anything, but now I'm going to make some tea for us.”

  “That will be fine, Besse,” said Robert, “and thank you for your help and concern.”

  Seating himself in his favorite armchair, he heaved a big sigh. Bridget seated herself on the floor beside him.

  She looked up into his face, her thoughts serious. “Tell me what happened tonight. I knew somehow that Aidan was in grave danger, and I think the awful fear I experienced on his account has made that feeling in my head disappear. I remember many things now.”

  He reached out his hand to stroke her hair as a tear dropped from his eyes. With his voice full of emotion, he said, “Let's thank God for that, lassie, although it almost took a double tragedy to do it.” His eyes were bright with tears as he gazed into the fire. He didn't speak for a few moments, but then taking Bridget's hand tightly in his own, he said, “When the rockets went off tonight, lass, the lifeboat was launched and quickly filled with a volunteer crew. As you know ,the fleet is away and most of our able bodied seamen with it. One of the crew tonight was a young, inexperienced lad. We don't exactly know what happened, but when they came around the head near where the stranded ship was, with the heavy seas rolling the lifeboat, we think this lad must have panicked, stood up, and got washed overboard. We were watching from the shore and saw him floundering in the water. Without hesitation, Aidan pulled off jacket and shoes, and plunged into the sea to help the unfortunate boy. He reached him and brought him ashore, but it was too late for the young man. Aidan almost lost his own life from the beating he took from the waves. Fortunately, James Tosh was there, and with his great strength and will power, was able to revive our laddie.”

  The story evoked another wave of fear in Bridget. She rose to her feet, saying, “I'll be back in a moment, Robert.” She went into Aidan's room and peeked in to see if he was still asleep. Going to the bed, she leaned over him and lovingly touching a stray wisp of black hair that was almost covered one eye. She whispered, “Oh, Aidan, what an unmitigated fool I have been. I pray to God I will have the chance to make it up to you.”

  Returning to the fire side, she smiled to Robert. “He's sleeping peacefully.”

  Reaching out to her, Robert said, “Lassie, it's grand that you have come back to us again. I have been blaming myself ever since your accident, thinking that I might have been the cause of some permanent damage to you. Do you remember what happened that day?”

  “Aye, Robert, I remember it very well but don't want to think about it. Grandfather, you must never blame yourself for what happened. It was just something that had to be, and I am very grateful to you for letting me come and share your beautiful home with you. Otherwise, I would never have gotten to know and love Aidan as I do. And as I said before, if he still wants me, I would like to be his wife.”

  “He is a fine man, Bridget, and I know he adores you. The two of you should be very happy together.”

  They sat quietly for a few moments, Bridget dreamily watching the flames in the fireplace. Her thoughts turned to her cousin Margaret. She spoke softly, “Grandfather, what of Margaret? I didn't realize she was so jealous of me. It was she who tried to smother me in bed that night, wasn't it?”

  “Yes, my child, it was, and to think we all laughed at you.” He swallowed hard.

  Bridget didn't speak for a while, but then asked again, “What of Margaret?”

  He sighed deeply, looking at her sadly. “She has been put in a sanatorium for observation. Dr. Thompson thinks her mind has gone completely. She will never bother you again.”

  “Poor Margaret,” said Bridget, more to herself than her grandfather. “I always felt so sorry for her somehow, and more so now than ever.”

  “You must put her out of your mind, child. That episode of your life is over, but oh, lassie, the terrible things that are contrived through jealousy.”

  Besse came through from the kitchen at that moment carrying a tea tray. The three companions enjoyed a cup before going to their respective rooms for a much needed night's rest.

  Bridget was restless and excited. She slept fitfully and could hardly wait for morning to come. She wondered if Aidan would remember what happened just before he dropped off to sleep. Would he realize how much she really loved him? Twice, she got out of bed in the night and went to the open door of her room to listen for any sound coming from downstairs, but there was none. It was evident everyone but herself was asleep.

  Her thoughts raced. Aidan h
ad said if she ever changed her mind about him, she would have to come and tell him so, but how would he react now when she did tell him how she felt? Her longing for him was unbearable. How would she stand it if he should reject her as she had done him when he had asked her to marry him. Finally, tired mentally and physically, she dropped into a restless slumber.

  As the first light of day streaked across the sky, Bridget tiredly got out of bed, feeling not the least bit rested after a night of tossing and turning. Her concern for Aidan, as well as Robert who had also been out in the storm for so long, knew no bounds.

  Dressing quietly, she stole downstairs without a sound and made her way to the kitchen. I'll have a cup of tea with Besse, she thought. She's sure to be awake. And indeed she was. Bridget found the housekeeper bustling around the kitchen.

  Besse gave her a large smile when she noticed Bridget had come in. “Well, lass, you're up early today.” She gave her a knowing smile.

  She threw herself onto a stool. “Oh, Besse, I couldn't sleep after everything that happened last night. How are they this morning?”

  Besse smiled. “Still sound asleep, lassie. I'll just let them alone till they have a mind to get up themselves. Rest is what they are both needing now.”

  Tears filled Bridget's eyes. “We almost lost Aidan last night.” She looked down at her hands. “I was so afraid,” she said softly.

  Now they were both in tears. Bridget put her arms around the older woman for a moment, but Besse, always the practical one, wiped her eyes saying, “Oh fash, this will never do. Wash yer bonny face, lassie, and we'll have our tea.”

  Besse took a step back. She grabbed a slice of bread and toasted it in front of the open fire. Bridget got up and went to wash her face. When she sat back down, she saw Besse butter the toast and put jelly on it before putting it on a plate for Bridget.

  She smiled her thanks and said, “All right, Besse, you are a dear. I don't know what I would do without you now.” Smiling warmly, she continued, “My memory has practically all come back and after what happened last night, I feel the need to have some time alone. I'm going down to the cove. Tell Robert where I have gone if he asks about me.”