Standing up, I took a deep breath and looked at the sky. Earth stared back at me and granted me the courage to continue. “Once again, Leslie has taken everything from us.” I let silence hang in the air for a few moments. “He’s taken part of our family. I’m so sorry for your losses. I understand, some of those bonds can never be replaced.” A tear ran down my face. I truly did understand. “And I don’t know about you, but I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want you to take it anymore. I don’t want anyone to take it anymore. I’ve had enough. We’ve given chances. We gave them the opt out, and they didn’t want it. I’m tired of giving chances. I'm tired of giving them the upper hand. I’m tired of playing by the rules! I say we act. Tonight. While it’s dark, and they least expect it. Without warning. Without regret. We go into their camp tonight, while they’re sleeping, and we end this. Once and for all. Who’s with me?” When I finished talking, I was out of breath. Huffing, now. I wasn’t sure if it was the panic from earlier, or the adrenaline coursing through my veins, but I knew I didn’t mind.
Facing the smaller crowd now in front of me, I didn’t see any reservations. All of them nodded slowly, until they all seemed completely on board. One raised his fist in the air, and the rest followed. Their symbols of unity, the imperfect three intertwined circles, on each of their arms, raised high. It was power. Unity.
There wasn’t much planning necessary for this attack. It was simple. Go in quietly, do the deed. Leave just as quietly if there was anyone left. To kill someone in their sleep felt animalistic, and somehow colder than fighting someone in hand-to-hand combat. They had no chance. There was no game to be played. They just lost without knowing it. And despite the lack of planning, there was still a lot of discussion.
People had moral difficulties with it, as did I. There were in-depth discussions about whether it was right or wrong. What circumstances made it right or wrong. Or whether we cared. Basically, everyone came to the same conclusion: no matter their moral obligation, it was necessary and we had no other choice. It weighed heavy on our thoughts, but it didn’t stop us.
We waited through the day for the time to go. We had to wait until curfew at Leslie’s camp, and then a little bit after to give people time to settle in and fall asleep. People shared whatever food they had and became a community once again. Runs to the lake to gather water were quick and efficient, and before we knew it, dark had settled over us. It was time.
“Everyone gather around,” I said. People stopped talking and left their groups to form a circle around me. Once everyone was ready and listening, I spoke again. “Everyone knows what we’re doing here. Right or wrong, we’re all in this together. This is for Circadia. This is for the hope of a better world. Like we said, we don’t need a plan this time around. We just have to get out there and do it. Everyone ready?”
People nodded in agreement. I grabbed my axe, turned, and began scaling the crater wall. Behind me, I heard people pick up their weapons and tools and then join the ascent. Everything jolted, and the sounds they made became inaudible due to the overwhelming noise of an explosion. I noticed a light glinting off the jewels, and looked into the sky to see a spacecraft enter our atmosphere. I shot a rapid glance toward the space team. “Are we expecting anyone right now?”
“Not us,” they answered.
I turned my attention back to the sky and watched as the parachute deployed, illuminated by the lights from the craft, and landed remotely near Leslie’s camp. It was apparent the craft was carrying cargo and not people by the sheer size and the lack of windows. It looked just like the cargo hull they had sent before we arrived, silver and almost falling apart because it was cheaply put together, but this one was bigger.
I stopped climbing and pivoted to look at Smith, who was having a lot of difficulty, and Jane just behind me. “This changes things.”
Chapter Thirteen
We were invisible as we crawled on the ground through the woods. The tall flower weed and brush covered us under a blanket of darkness. Smith, Jane, and I were the only ones that left the crater to investigate. Everyone else stayed behind so we didn’t attract too much attention. Although, we figured most of Leslie’s and the crew’s attention would be on their new hull.
We heard their cheers as we inched closer to the forest edge. The sound of their joy brought dread to my chest, and I knew we were in trouble. I didn’t know what that craft contained, but I knew it wasn’t going to be good for us or Circadia.
We watched as they hauled out a large wooden box that was as tall as most of the men next to it. Once it was removed, they all gathered around and began to pry it open. There were so many men that we were unable to see what was inside. As the whooping and hollering grew louder, we could only assume that they had got the box open. Visualization was unnecessary though, we realized, once we heard the engine roar. As the commotion grew louder, the crowd dispersed to show an ATV turn on its headlights and lurch forward.
We all jumped with surprise. “Oh, what the hell?” Smith muttered. “What are we supposed to do about those?”
“Nothing,” I replied. I had no more words than that.
They were mobile now. We had no idea how many there were, but we knew we had lost the fight. There wasn’t even a fight to be had. Watching as the army high-fived and shouted their victory cries, I knew we were done. We would be running and hiding from now on. I turned my head toward Smith and Jane. I watched their eyes dart around, scared. Sweat ran from their brows, and their clenched knuckles were white. They were my friends. Seeing the fear in their eyes made me want to melt.
I had been so consumed with seeking revenge for everyone we lost, especially Garrett, that I’d forgotten those around me. They were important to me, too. They deserved a fighting chance, and we weren’t going to find it here. Not now. I waved my hand at them to come with me. As we snuck back through the woods undetected, everything became clear.
Once we were out of earshot, I looked at Jane and Smith. “Everything just got a lot easier for them,” I said. “We need to move.”
“What’dya mean, move?” asked Jane.
“Yeah...” Smith said.
“I mean, the crater isn’t far enough away from them to stay safe. They’re going to find us. They’re not worried about being ambushed anymore. They’re not going to be tired anymore. They’re going to be relentless.”
“We don’t even know what lies beyond the crater, though. Right?” Smith asked.
“Nope,” Jane said.
“No... We don’t know. But we’re gonna have to find out. I know that’s scary, but I don’t see any other options. All we can do is use the softphone to continue to call for help from Earth and stay hidden for now. Until we can get the ship going to leave. I don’t want to, but what else are we supposed to do? We don’t have time or the manpower to fight this...” I said. The words burned coming out of my mouth. Maybe it was from talking so much lately, or the heavy breathing from running and sneaking, or maybe it just made me sick to speak the words.
“Sometimes knowing when to quit is half the battle,” Smith said. His eyes met mine. I knew he was trying to tell me it was okay to let go, but I still struggled. “Sometimes it’s the braver thing to do.”
Jane piped in, “You’re right.” Looking at Smith, she nodded, her blonde hair bobbing up and down. “We got your back, Aella.” She looked at me, and I knew she stood with me no matter what. The feeling was power, even in our weakest moment, and I knew then I was making the right choice. We were making the right choice. “But,” she said, “how are we going to fit everyone on that ship? They said it will only fit so many people.”
“We aren’t,” I answered.
Smith’s eyes went wide, panning to my face to gauge my reaction. Jane did the same, but I knew they knew just as well as I did, that was the only option. “How are we going to choose who goes, and who stays?”’ Smith asked.
“I would say that decision will probably already be made for us when we get there. I hate saying that, bu
t I don’t know how many of us will be left by that time. If there are too many of us at that point, I know I’ll stay behind to help people here. I’m sure there will be quite a few other volunteers to stay as well. I don’t know if you remember how rough the launch from Earth was, but people didn’t handle that well, and this ride is going to be a lot worse. Some people will refuse to go just for that reason. Either way, we will sort it out, and it will be fair,” I said.
“Sounds good to me. Better than Leslie’s version of picking the elite, for sure,” Jane said. “We better get outta here, though, or no one’s going to make it very far.”
“Let’s go back to the crater and tell everyone to pack up. We need to be gone by morning,” I said.
Back at the crater, not everyone was as supportive, but they followed orders and packed up. Just before leaving, I grabbed the softphone and called a local news crew from back home in Chicago. I was told that my phone call was not priority and that I could leave a voicemail. At first, I wanted to hang up out of anger, but instead, I waited for the tone to start my message. I thought for a moment, then spoke. “My name is Aella Toms. I was one of the first colonists on our neighboring planet, Circadia. My friends and I are here and we’re in trouble. Leslie Marshal has become a dictator here and has hired an army to eradicate us. We are holding on for as long as we can, but we are losing hope. We need help,” I said. “Please.”
I disconnected the softphone and looked around at my surroundings. I wondered briefly if that would be the last time someone from Earth would hear my voice and whether or not they would even care. Wondering what life was like on Earth at the moment was a distraction I wasn’t sure I needed or wanted. It could be one of two ways. One, they could be happy living their lives and blissfully ignorant of our efforts and hardships here on Circadia, or two, it could still be hell from the fallout of the nuclear war, with the world leaders aware of our turmoil without a care for our safety or the future of Circadia. It was difficult to think about the stark differences of the two situations and be completely oblivious to the truth, but regardless, I began the trek up the crater walls will my colleagues toward an unknown part of the new world. For better or worse.
When I reached the top, I looked up to see the entire group waiting for me. They parted to make a way to the front for me to lead. I stood and forged ahead. I waded through the darkness, the brush in front of us only illuminated by the faint light of the half moon and Earth’s lights. Every step was a struggle and walking quickly became exhausting. We were moving blindly, with no idea what lay ahead.
Sometime later, we stopped for a break. Everyone panted as they drank from canteens fashioned from the scrap metal created when our original transport pods broke apart. Barely able to see the faces of the people directly in front of me, I gave up and sat in the dark without talking, as did everyone else. We stayed like that for a good while, until we heard the engines again. They were far enough away to not worry, but close enough that we needed to get moving again. Trudging ahead, we were silent as we listened to the ATVs search the woods we once inhabited.
I imagined Leslie’s crew finding the crater and realizing that we were no longer there. The image of their growls and screams became vivid. The thought of them trying to figure out what our next move would have been plagued me, and I urged the group to move faster. “We need to move,” I said.
Smith gave me a sideways glance.
“What?” I asked.
“People are trying as hard as they can. They’re moving as fast as they can. It’s dark, the terrain is rough...” he said.
“Smith, do you not get it?” I asked. I was offended and upset. “If they find us, not only do we lose Circadia, but we’re probably dead. Do you get that?”
“Yes, I get it. Everyone here gets it. Everyone here is scared, just like you. Just know that they’re trying their best and keep encouraging them. If you’re gonna be their leader, you have to stay strong. Even when you’re scared. Do you get that?” he asked.
While what he said pissed me off, I got it. He was right. I just hated hearing it from him. I needed to stay calm and be an example. Moving to the front of the group, I whisper-yelled as close to them as possible, “Let’s go, guys! We got this, we just gotta keep moving and they can’t touch us! I know you’re scared but we’re fine. We just have to keep moving!” Everyone welcomed the encouragement and moved a little faster behind me. Throwing a glance toward my back, I caught a grin sliding across Smith’s face.
Walking for hours upon hours, the scenery of Circadia unveiled itself the best it possibly could in the days of darkness. The skitters scurried through the trees, their eyes glowing yellow in the few lights we shined to lead us. We walked past many lakes along their banks, and along the creeks, occasionally glimpsing movement in the water from an unknown source.
“Stay out of the water,” I said, “I’m not sure it’s safe.” No one answered or asked questions, they just nodded and kept moving.
Once the group groaned to a slow crawl, I finally caved. We were no longer making any progress, just grinding our bodies into the dust without reason. Smith caught up with me from the back of the pack the best he could, limping the entire way. “You think it’s time to stop?” he asked. His face was red and he was guarding his left hip with his hand. “My hip is killing me. Too much pressure on one leg all the time, I guess. Sucks.”
I stopped and looked him over. When I glanced over toward the rest of the group, many appeared worse than him. “Yeah,” I said. “We’d probably better stop for the time being.”
“All right everyone,” Smith called, pitching his voice just loud enough to be heard without sending it echoing through the land around us, “we’ll stop here and make camp.”
Groaning and moaning from the group commenced as they began to make themselves as comfortable as possible in the tall flower weed. Supervising as everyone laid down for a rest, it was pleasing to see that the flower weed concealed almost all signs of the entire group while they stayed low to the ground.
Creeping away from the rest, I scaled the slightly taller hill just beyond the trees to gain a vantage point while still being covered by the tall weeds. I wasn’t tired.
Chapter Fourteen
I looked up through the trees into the sky, and stared at the large globe that was Earth. It seemed so familiar, yet so distant. I thought about what life would be like there, now that things had changed. We had lived off of nothing, experienced the worst of human nature, and were about to ship off back toward an Earth that was overpopulated with assholes just like Leslie. For a moment, I felt terrible for thinking that. There were still good people in the world, and I knew it. Then I remembered that one person with evil intent could hold so much power over the many that were good, and I didn’t feel so bad anymore.
I knew it was something we could never change. It made me hesitant to go back, but we had no other choice. We had exhausted every other option. We had fought our fight, and we had lost. The only hope we had at redemption now, was telling everyone back on Earth what a terrible person Leslie Marshal was, and what he had done, and hope for some justice.
I longed for the chance already, to come back to Circadia and try again. As crazy as it sounded, I would do it all over again if given the opportunity. I would go into it knowing what I knew now, though. I briefly wondered how that would have changed my journey this go around. Looking back, I could pick out a few things I would have done differently: the first being to open up to people and make more friends. Even though there were bad people in the universe, people were what made everything worth it. Friendships, teams, and having a tribe to call your own couldn't even be described. The sense of belonging was huge. If I had a second chance, the friendships I made would be stronger, and the love I had would be more engrossing. I would let myself be more open to the idea and invest more time in it. Especially now, knowing that I would lose it.
Gazing into the sky once again, I made a vow to myself. I would come back here one day. I
would make Circadia a new world, full of people who wanted to be here for the right reasons, to create a new way of life. One where happiness was a given and self-sustainability was a requirement. Earth’s lights twinkled as if in approval. I looked at the ground and smiled to myself. It was time to start over.
Then, a flash of light from above illuminated the ground below me, and I quickly looked up. Just above the tree line, I saw a bright blast of light rising high into the night. I reached up to guard my eyes with my forearms until the light dimmed enough to see what was happening. It was our ship. Blasting off. What the hell? Who was on our ship? I heard the rest of the group panic as they tried to figure out who was on the ship. I ran down from the high ground to the commotion to quiet the group and figure out if anyone was missing. Quickly, we realized a few of our members were missing. After lots of arguing and questioning, the only people unaccounted for were two men from the space crew. They must have been scared to try and pack everyone onto the ship. It would have been risky, and they weren’t willing to take the risk. They were deserters. We were undoubtedly stuck here on Circadia now.
The noise from their blasters roared over the woods as they slowly rose toward the atmosphere. I heard muffled sobs and curses directed at them from the group, barely audible through the growl from above. I watched as they turned into a smaller and smaller object. They were rising away from us without difficulty.
Catching Smith’s eyes, I mouthed, “I’m sorry,” as a tear fell from my eye. He pursed his lips together and nodded. In return, he mouthed, “It’s okay. Doesn’t matter.” I knew he meant it, but I couldn’t bear it. That was our last hope. I sat on the crushed flower weed and watched as they slowly vanished. My heart broke. There were more evil people than I’d thought. Maybe they were just scared, but they had left all of us to die. That had to have been a thought that crossed their minds—but they didn’t care.
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