by R. C. Ryan
Even now, just thinking about him, had her so hot she pressed her hands to her cheeks in an effort to cool them.
She began pacing the length of the room and back, her mind awhirl with erotic images and thoughts of what she’d just done.
And then her mind took a turn and she thought of what she’d wanted to do. She’d wanted, more than anything, to make mad, passionate love with Ash. To erase all the years that had slipped away. To forget the man to whom she’d pledged her future. She’d wanted desperately to lose herself in the dark, mindless passion Ash had been offering.
What had she been thinking?
She hadn’t been thinking. That was the problem. She’d allowed herself to get caught up in the moment, losing herself in the dark, compelling world of passion.
Chris would be here soon. He would expect her to be the warm, affectionate woman he thought he knew. But now there was a third person in their relationship. A person who had shattered her young heart in the past, and now had come back to test her once again.
It shocked her to think that she would ever trust Ash again. Even more shocking was the thought that she might allow him to come between her and a good man who had just given her a ring to seal their engagement.
What kind of woman would even think twice about a choice between a practical, sensible man who had already pledged his love, and a loose cannon whose temper had once taken him far away from all that he’d known and loved?
Ash had kissed her. Nothing more. And he certainly hadn’t declared any feelings for her.
Her throat was suddenly so raw, it felt as though she’d shed a million tears. But her eyes were dry as she peered out the window and watched the approach of Chris’s new car gliding slowly up the lane toward her house.
Ash drove the entire distance to his ranch without even being aware of the road. His thoughts were as dark as the night sky spread out like a canopy over all the countryside, leaving the buttes, the hills dotted with cattle, in shadow.
He’d known, from the first moment he’d decided to return to Montana, that he would have to deal with his feelings toward Brenna. He’d half expected to find her married. The thought had struck terror in his soul. But that might have made things easier. It would have demanded a clean break. He knew in his heart that he would never violate a marriage vow. No matter what feelings were resurrected when they met again, he would have been able to keep his distance if Brenna were someone’s wife.
She was engaged. Practically married. And though he thought of himself as an honorable man, he’d nearly crossed a line tonight. Hell, he would have, if she hadn’t cried out just in time.
But had she called his name to stop him? Or to encourage him to do more?
She hadn’t held him at arm’s length. If she had, he would have respected her wishes and walked away sooner. But she’d been as much a partner in that kiss as he.
Kiss? He swore under his breath. That was just a kiss the way a Montana blizzard was just snow flurries. They’d practically taken each other right there on the cold, hard floor.
And didn’t he wish they had? Didn’t he wish they were together, acting on all their desires, right this minute?
She’d felt so good in his arms again. So right.
But it was all wrong. And he needed to face up to the fact that his little Sunshine was now in love with another guy.
He had no future with her, and no right to ever cross that line again.
But, though it would be easier for all involved if he just didn’t see her again, that wasn’t possible. Even if he took pains to avoid her, the town of Copper Creek was too small for him to avoid running into her.
Besides, there was Raleigh Crane.
He intended to impress on Brenna, first thing in the morning, how important it was for her to talk to Chief Pettigrew about that letter. If her father was pulling a con, she needed to be protected, even if she didn’t agree. The man had been a mean drunk, and he wouldn’t be above using his own daughter if he had something to gain.
And then there was his promise to lend a hand to Vern. He’d keep that promise, not because he was some noble hero, but because it would give him a chance to see Brenna, if only from a distance.
And there it was. The bare, unvarnished, shameful truth.
Even knowing she loved someone else, he was willing to settle for just seeing her.
How pathetic.
By the time he’d reached his ranch, he was in such a foul mood, he saddled one of the horses and, tucking Brenna’s book into his pocket, headed into the hills.
He patted his pocket with a grim smile. Nautical Knots. There were other kinds of knots. Some of them pretty tricky to unravel.
A solitary, midnight ride would be just the thing to help him work out some of the knots in his crazy, twisted life.
Chapter Thirteen
Seeing Chris step out of his car, Brenna opened the door wide before returning to the kitchen.
As he climbed the steps, she called over her shoulder, “I’ve got carrot cake. I’ll start a fresh pot of coffee.”
Ordinarily she would greet him with a kiss. Not tonight. Her heart was pumping a little too fast, and she told herself it was best if she didn’t let him close until she had her feelings under control.
Was her face a little too flushed? Her eyes a little too bright? Would he know, just by looking at her, that she’d been with Ash?
She didn’t need to wonder. He was apparently dealing with issues of his own. He flung his car keys on the kitchen table the minute he stepped into the room. Brenna spun around and saw the look of thunder on his face.
“The buzz going around town is that once again you nearly got run down by a crazed truck driver. And once again, you were with Ash MacKenzie when it happened. Looks to me like bad things started happening the minute the prodigal son came back to Copper Creek.”
“You make it sound as though Ash is somehow to blame.”
“The way I heard it, the police chief wondered if you have enemies. Is he blind? Or just stupid?”
“Chris…”
He cut off her words with a raised hand. “I heard the reason MacKenzie left town all those years ago was because of a hair-trigger temper. I saw the proof of it at that drunken brawl at Wylie’s. If he’s anything like his old man, he has as many enemies in this town as he has friends. There are probably a hundred people gunning for MacKenzie, and Ira Pettigrew suspects that these incidents might be about you?”
In his anger he grasped her by the shoulders and started to shake her. “Wake up, woman. You hang with a badass like that long enough, your future won’t be any brighter than his. I give MacKenzie another month in this town before he’s either dead like his father or back on the road looking for another place to pick a fight.”
Her voice was pure ice. “Take your hands off me. Don’t you ever touch me in anger.”
At her curt command, he released her and backed away. “Sorry. You told me about your father. I know how you feel about…I didn’t mean…” He lifted both hands in the air, in a symbol of surrender. “But you can’t deny that all of this drama started when MacKenzie came back.”
“Drama? Are you suggesting that this has all been orchestrated by Ash to draw attention to himself?”
Chris shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past him. This is a guy who walked out on his family and never looked back. If that isn’t drama, I don’t know what is.”
“You don’t know anything about Ash except what you’ve heard at Wylie’s. When he left, he was young, and he believed that he’d taken enough bullying from his own father. Some folks may have blamed him for leaving, but there were plenty of others who not only understood but approved his courage. As for those dangerous incidents with a runaway truck, I was there. I saw Ash’s reaction. He was as shocked as I was. Does that mean I was in on it, too?”
“I’m saying that it seems very convenient that both incidents”—he emphasized the word with growing sarcasm—“occurred when MacKenzie was with you
, giving him a chance to look like a hero in your eyes.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I? Listen to yourself, Brenna. You’ve suddenly become his fierce defender.” He moved in closer, his face inches from hers. “Tell me the truth, Brenna. Is MacKenzie’s strategy working? Have you started to think that maybe you should forget about past hurts and start to trust him again?”
Seeing her stunned reaction to his words, his eyes narrowed on her. “Uh-huh. I thought as much. And are you wondering what your life might have been like if only you’d waited all this time for your white knight to come riding back to rescue you?”
“Rescue me? From what?”
“From a backwater town like Copper Creek. And from this.” He waved a hand. “This miserable, failing piece of land that’s draining all your money and energy, just the way it did your mother’s.”
“Don’t talk about my mother—”
“You mark my words, Brenna. You stay in this mess long enough, it’ll take you down.”
“There’s no need to put down my ranch or my town. I’m happy here. I’m happy with the way my life is going.”
“Really? Well, if this is all it takes to make you happy, I’ve got some news that will make you ecstatic.”
At his sudden change of direction, she paused. “What news?”
“I’ve been offered that hot promotion I’ve been working for.”
Caught off guard, she waited, feeling suddenly wary.
“They want to send me to Helena first.”
“First?”
“I requested the opportunity to work at the headquarters in Washington, D.C. That’s where the real power is within the bureau. My connection in Helena thinks there’s every chance I’ll get my wish.”
“You’re leaving?”
“We’re leaving. You and I. As soon as the transfer documents are completed.”
She could feel him watching her reaction. Carefully schooling her features, she said, “And what am I supposed to do about my life here? My ranch? My career as a sculptor?”
“The ranch is a no-brainer. Sell it. Take whatever you can get for it and put it in the bank. With my promotion, we won’t need your money. Before I’m through, I intend to be a director of the bureau. As for your hobby, there’s no reason why you can’t pursue it wherever we settle.”
“My…hobby?”
“Oh yes. I forgot. Your…career. I noticed you like to call yourself a sculptor.”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
He gave a snort of disgust. “Face it, Brenna. If you had to live on what you earn as a sculptor, you’d starve. I don’t think you can justify calling it a career.”
“You mean, the way you call your job a career?”
“I have a future. And it’s not some pie-in-the-sky future. I’m already on my way. I can actually see where I’m heading. And I won’t stop until I’ve reached the top of the heap.”
“So I should just walk away from everything I love here in Copper Creek and follow you as you climb your career ladder?”
“That’s what a partner does.” He narrowed his gaze. “Unless you’re having second thoughts.”
She lifted her chin like a prizefighter, a sure sign of the temper brewing.
Before she could say a word, he gave a wry laugh. “Oh. I get it. Now that the old boyfriend’s back in town, you were hoping to string us both along until you made up your mind.”
He fixed her with a look. “Understand this. I won’t play second fiddle. It’s me or MacKenzie.”
“Chris…”
He reached out and caught her hand, staring meaningfully at the diamond that caught and reflected the lamplight. “When I gave you this ring, I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I thought you felt the same way. If you have any doubts at all, I deserve to know. Do you love me enough to sever ties with this place and move on, or am I going to Helena alone?”
She snatched her hand away. “You’re not being fair. This is too sudden. You can’t expect me to agree to sell my ranch and leave everything I love, without time to think about what I’m doing.”
“You knew, from the time we met, that I considered this a temporary assignment. I never lied to you about my intentions to move on.”
“But not this soon.”
“Now, or a year from now. What’s the difference?” He looked into her eyes before taking a step back.
She held her silence.
His tone was resigned. “Don’t lie, Brenna. Not to me. Not to yourself. It’s MacKenzie. That’s the real difference, isn’t it?”
When she said nothing in her defense, he held out his hand. “Truth-or-dare time, Brenna. Choose to be with me, and leave this backwoods town behind for the big city, or give me back the ring. And don’t tell me you need more time to figure things out. If you really love me, you don’t need another minute.”
She continued looking at him as she removed the ring from her finger and placed it in his palm. “I’m sorry, Chris. I never meant for this to happen.”
He closed his hand over the ring and studied her face, his eyes going from angry to resigned before he turned away.
Snatching up his car keys he yanked open the door. “Maybe you didn’t mean to do this, but I’m betting MacKenzie did. He knew exactly how to play you, Brenna.”
He paused. “I’ll be driving to Helena in the morning for meetings the rest of the week. I’d intended to invite you along so you could do some shopping before the big move.”
He gave a long, deep sigh. “I’ll be back on the weekend to settle my affairs before moving on. You know where to reach me if you change your mind. I can’t say I wish you luck with MacKenzie. I just hope you don’t get your heart broken again. But if you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you. He’s bad news, Brenna. You hang with a loser long enough, he’ll take you down.”
The door slammed behind him.
Brenna stood perfectly still, listening to his footsteps as he descended the porch steps and made his way to the car. She heard the crunch of gravel, and the opening and closing of the car door, and then the purr of his engine and the flash of headlights across the walls and ceiling as he turned his car and drove away.
And then the silence of the night closed in around her as she methodically unplugged the coffeemaker. Sammy lifted his head and crawled from his wicker basket to hurry over and whine.
She carried him to the door and let him out. Within a minute he was back inside and wriggling around, hoping to be picked up.
She lifted him into her arms and switched off the lights before climbing the stairs to her bedroom.
Once there, she deposited the puppy on her bed before walking to the window to stare at the distant hills, layered in darkness.
She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly chilled to the bone.
Though some of the words Chris had hurled at her had been hurtful, others had hit too close to home.
It was true that she’d carried the image of her youthful hero in her mind for a long time. But he’d been gone for almost a decade. A lot could happen in those years to change a man.
She didn’t really know Ash now. He’d been forced to experience a lot of things in order to survive on his own. Things he couldn’t share with her. There were rough edges to him now that hadn’t been there before.
Had he acquired a list of enemies? Men who would go to extremes to see him hurt or even dead?
Had he brought danger here to their town? To her very doorstep?
So many questions. So many doubts and fears.
As for Chris, she’d hurt him deeply. Hurt a good man who, though angry and frustrated, had declared his love for her.
When he’d asked her to marry him, he’d been forthright about his desire to move on. At the time, she’d convinced herself that it would be good for her to go with him, to see the world, to test her wings and fly as far away as she could from all the old memories. But she never allowed herself to think too
deeply about it, because it had all seemed to be something she would do in the distant future. A future filled with so many possibilities.
All that had changed when she’d seen Ash. She’d known, in that very instant, that the last thing she wanted was to leave her ranch, her friends, her studio.
Her old best friend.
Sadly, Chris had known the truth even before she had.
She’d burned a bridge tonight. One that could never be rebuilt.
She crawled into bed and lay in the darkness, her eyes dry, her throat tight with unshed tears.
As if sensing her discomfort, Sammy moved close and snuggled against her
She wouldn’t cry over what she’d done. Her future was now as uncertain as it had been when she’d been that scared little girl. But she’d survived her father’s drunken episodes, the beatings, the angry, hate-filled words hurled behind closed doors in her parents’ room. More, she had survived the terrible knowledge that Ash had left town without a word to her. She had survived all the years that followed, without a single word from him.
She buried her face in the puppy’s fur.
She would survive this, as well.
Besides, it was far too late for tears.
Brenna forked wet straw and dung into a wagon before heading toward the next stall. She’d been up before dawn, after a long and restless night. Always, when her mind was troubled, she found solace in hard, demanding work. Today was no different. While she bent to her chores, her mind kept returning to the angry words she’d exchanged with Chris.
Angry was too mild a term
But there was no point in dwelling on something she couldn’t undo. All she could do now was keep moving and hope she hadn’t made too big a mess of things.
Sammy’s barking alerted her that she wasn’t alone.
“Hey. You’re up early.”
At the sound of Ash’s voice, her head came up sharply. “What are you doing here?”
“I brought Vern that starter switch.”
“He’s up in the hills, checking in on Noah Perkins and the herd. He should be back in an hour or so.”
