The first administrator cut himself off, turning to glance out the window. When he turned back, absentmindedly, he quickly wiped what Cain was sure had been a grin off his face, pointing upward with one digit in a ‘just one more thing’ motion.
“As for the rumors of that alternative plan of theirs, the one you’ve been working to counter...” He examined the hand that was still up in the air, squinting as if he just noticed something out of place. Cain noticed a bit of dust there. Rois brushed it off on his shirt-front and dropped the limb to his side. “Right. I’ll need a full accounting of your activities on that front before you leave.”
Cain, still silent, nodded stiffly.
71.
Two Months Prior...
The spaciousness and intensity of the learning varied. It depended on the subject matter, depth of information covered, and the relative condition of the two conscious entities, one of whom required individualized power supplements and occasional respites. For the most part, the lessons involved the Mind. It taught them what it was aware of, in the form of curated snippets, a past to present tapestry that seamlessly melded historical and current events. Occasionally there were predictions on near, or more rarely distant, future likelihoods. It was in the midst of such lessons that Alixs became aware of the duplicitous nature of xeno governance. He saw their willingness to subjugate for their own purposes. He also saw the confused vastness of the free evolutionist movement and it’s various branches and splinter factions, all vying for control. He learned of recent events and the rise of Liam to a strong leadership position, and of the traitor in their midst who would do such damage, or perhaps already had.
“Stop him!” Alixs shouted into the middle of their session, like waking from a nightmare. The Ahmis jumped in surprise, spiking his remaining internals and setting off warnings of a potential systems failure. As he was no longer what he was, the alarms were more or less vestigial, but the Mind quickly adjusted his vital signs anyway, checked him over, and turned its attention to a distraught Alixs.
What you see is in the past. The Mind was addressing him directly, a sign that the matter was urgent enough to dispense with the usual, vague methods. There is no need for concern.
Are they safe? Alixs practically shouted the thought, wondering if there was any such a thing as volume in this medium. It seemed so, but as far as he could recall neither the Mind nor the Ahmis had ever raised a voice.
A difficult question. The situation remains fluid. But the internal matter you fear is no more.
Alixs didn’t feel reassured, but allowed the matter to drop. It was around this same time that the so-called Plan B came into the lesson. First as a historical footnote, and later as a working solution Liam was now grappling with. His intentions didn’t go nearly far enough according to the Mind, who had another, more in-depth solution to teach. Alixs became overwhelmed with the scope of it, so much so that the Mind discontinued the learning for the day.
Such problematic sessions were rare, though. Immersion with the Mind was usually a pleasant state, the approach to timeless bliss coming and going in waves that swept them along the journey into full awareness.
The Mind wasn’t always the teacher, either. Occasionally it would step back, into the role of apprentice, particularly when matters of the heart moved to the fore. Emotions were a mystery to the vast being. As much as it held in scope, it lacked anything similar in depth. It could serve as a guide into consciousness, but could never participate. Here the Ahmis gave guidance at times, as the Mind attempted to grasp what was beyond its farthest abilities. Sometimes it was even Alixs who taught, and the Ahmis who joined the Mind as learner. In this way, they all expanded themselves, until all of them approached the others in understanding, though they all still bore the limitations of their form.
LESSONS HAD BECOME taxing in duration, and the pair of Xenolights had taken to increasingly long meditation sessions in between. As the intensity increased, meditation was required for them to recover. The ability to depress their physical awarenesses had also become a practice, allowed them to enter into a sensory deprivation state. All this allowed them to move on to the next session, improving not only their focus and stamina, but their endurance as well.
It was Alixs who coined the ‘Xenolight’ phrase, a play on words not only due to the glowing nature of their beings within the Mind, but also because the sensations of clarity and luminosity had left him feeling weightless. At least that’s the way he described it, when physical sensation was available, and he wasn’t entirely immersed in the learnings.
The sound that pierced his meditation was easy to ignore at first, like morning light peeking through a mostly drawn shade. Or an insect that buzzed just inside the threshold of hearing, but not close enough to raise alarm. Then the sound came again, and again, the rhythm causing agitation and spoiling the mood. He twitched, awakening himself a little more, feeling pulled in an uncomfortable way toward an awareness he was not yet ready to face.
Again. And a touch, as well. Gentle, but still intrusive. He didn’t like it, but that also brought more of his awareness back into focus. He felt his breath resume and became aware of it’s rhythm. Now taste and smell awakened as well, and his sense of time, such as it was in here — that came back too. He felt his sense of balance, and he reoriented. And still that bothersome sensation of a distant sound continued, and the touch became a shake.
Allowing his optical senses to resume a natural focus, he saw the Ahmis standing there, his outstretched limb gently shaking his companion. Not the real Ahmis, of course. His physical self had long since disappeared. Then came the familiar voice. “Alixs. Alixs, wake up. Wake up, Alixs.” Alixs had no idea if it had been coming for a few seconds, or a few hours. It felt somewhere in between.
The younger Xenolight took a long, cleansing breath, shaking off any sense of annoyance as he looked at his friend. The agitation was replaced by a sleepy curiosity. Why do you wake me?
The Mind must speak with you. The words weren’t as clear as that, as usual when they communed this way, but the order was plain.
It can speak whenever it wants.
Not this way. The Mind must speak — directly.
An odd request. As far as he could recall over the months they’d been together (or had it been years?), they had never spoken directly to the mind, outside of emergency situations, such as his recent sense of panic. The normal method of discourse was essentially through them, whenever a question arose that they couldn’t answer themselves. It usually ‘spoke’ from inside one to the other, and sometimes the other way around. The more they’d progressed the more the Mind had integrated into their discussions. But this? Direct contact? He suddenly felt a sensation he’d not felt since the first moment he’d encountered the Mind. He was afraid.
72.
The Mind became aware of Alixs’ discomfort. It knew he was right to be concerned, that any reassurances the Mind might offer would be of little benefit. The best remedy was the truth.
Are you ready?
I am.
There is a high probability that you will have difficulty in accepting what I must convey. I ask that you process the data in its entirety. Is that acceptable?
Alixs almost answered yes right away, but then he felt himself shrink back. The Mind had never given him any choice about what was taught, nor when, so it was strange for it to be asking for his patience all of a sudden. But then again, the Mind didn’t usually convey anything to him alone, never mind directly mind-to-mind. The lessons were always side by side, with the Ahmis, and the teachings were never direct either. More like images and concepts floated into the ether for them to absorb. This was an entirely new situation, yet if felt somehow old-school. He knew he shouldn’t reject whatever it was without hearing all the details, and this was likely the best way in which to do it. Certainly the Mind had given the matter a great deal of thought.
Yes, Alixs answered. I’m ready.
THE AHMIS WAITED WITH increasing concern
as the hours and days passed, alone and isolated for the first time since the Mind had absorbed his consciousness. The Mind did check in from time to time, to comfort him, and apologize for leaving him in such a state. He understood, and wasn’t particularly worried for himself. He’d been alone before, quite literally so, and even back then he didn’t spend all his time poking around some old document or other. He was adept at quieting his own mind, finding peace in his center, and allowing the moment to exist without becoming bored.
What was worrying him was how Alixs was doing, and whether or not he would be able to handle what the Mind had in mind. He chuckled at his own irrational mind, with it’s quirky thought patterns. My deterioration’s more like an improvement, he told himself, though this time the thought was less amusing.
If I were stronger, I could help him. This thought made him even more worried, his level of concern pushing all else to the side. Perhaps that was what worry was, for organics as well. He couldn’t be sure, being an older model. And now, inside the Mind, he wasn’t even really a model at all. More like a subroutine. A stupid, old subroutine.
Enough of that, he chided himself. I’m fine as I am. And Alixs will be fine, too. He’s a strong boy. He wanted to convince himself it was true, but the worry remained.
AT SOME POINT DURING his communion with the Mind, time began to pass naturally for Alixs. Without understanding it conceptually, he simply knew that time was passing for him, and the Mind, just the same as it was beyond the walls, beyond the nondescript building (was he still even in that place?), and out into the world. A world where he was soon to return.
Soon to return. He knew that, too. He was leaving soon. Like it or not. But it wasn’t the Mind dismissing him, he realized with some surprise. He was the one making the decision to leave, and it was the Mind who disagreed.
Why?
The Mind didn’t answer immediately. Instead, it began a slow, painstaking contraction, pulling down chunks of mountings and circuitry and wrapping cables and bits of metal over and around itself. Even the ever present glow began to move and expand, light beams and lasers melding into their components and filling in gaps in its new form. But this was no trick of the eye, no hologram or anything of the like. Such a thing would be simple for a being as advanced as the Mind. This was the Mind, what formerly rigid components made up its physical self, coming to life through sheer force of will.
At the same time, the enveloping presence all around, that immersive field that had been the Mind in its former state, began to fade. No longer immersed in it, Alixs became separate from it, bringing on the twin, stark sensations of loneliness and cold. But at the same time, it was becoming easier to see the Mind, for the first time, as an actual entity. The transformation continued, the intensity of it striking Alixs as a kind of birth. To his astonishment, this reborn Mindform was beginning to look human! Or xeno. But still very much mechanical at the same time. Like the terminator, Alixs thought with an inward gasp — but not the iconic Schwarzenegger version. The one from the other movie, the liquid metal one. That’s what this looked like, now standing in front of him. Except that it wasn’t smooth and it wasn’t flowing, either. It was cobbled together, and the effort looked downright painful. Seemingly embarrassed with itself for such a childish effort, the Mind shrank back.
Don’t be shy, Alixs thought.
The being standing before him, this Mindform, opened its mouth and screeched, “Italraitdonworreee!” It sounded like long strips of metal scraping into one other, and Alixs ducked and shielded himself instinctively. Closing its ‘mouth’, the piercing vocalization cut off, but the echo continued bouncing around the chamber and deeper into Alixs’ audio receptors. His real audio receptors.
The Mindform shook its head and tried again. “It alrightdon...worry.” This time the voice was smoother, bordering on melodious, and with a hint of real personality underneath it. The tones made Alixs think, for the first time, about gender. Could the Mind be a female? He dismissed the ridiculous line of thought, but just then the contours of the Mindform shifted almost imperceptibly, becoming more curvy and a little bit...alluring? Alixs felt a sudden impulse to embrace her, just for a moment. Nothing romantic though, more like a nurturing impulse. She seemed so fragile.
“It’s alright,” she said, finally finding her true voice, “don’t worry.” She was a woman. Alixs had no idea whether it was simply a cue from his own mind, or some natural impulse deep within, but the voice was unmistakable. Alixs realized that the ‘old’ voice, the one in his head, had been his own construct. His own impression of the Mind, based on first impressions that were clearly off the mark. He smiled, feeling happy for her in her newfound form. She twisted her liquiface into an uncomfortable semblance of a grin, then made adjustments until a smile came across reasonably well. “You don’t need to think to me now,” the Mindform said, something akin to pride in her voice and posture. “We can speak openly, for a time.”
Alixs cleared his throat. His own voice was rusty from lack of use, and even the effort of clearing it felt scratchy and odd. Besides, he didn’t think he had anything to say, so overwhelmed by this supreme effort at personalization that Mind was making for him.
“You don’t have to leave,” said the Mindform, as if suddenly remembering the reason for this encounter. “If you do, you’ll be in grave danger.”
73.
The Ahmis awoke. In his solitude, he’d taken to resting more often, and longer, or so it seemed. Sometimes it was as if he slept for weeks, although he was perfectly aware of the taffy-like nature of time inside the Mind. Except that he was no longer inside the Mind, either. Not precisely. He’d not gone anywhere, in a physical sense. He was still in the same cocoon, somewhere deep under Tera-Prime, within the vast framework of the machine. At least that was the location of his physical form, though he could expand outward at will, usually. But now, he felt more isolated. There was an emptiness that indicated, far in the back of his perceptions, that the Mind had gone elsewhere. The Mind’s no longer minding the store. Funny archivist you are. Funny situation this is. Lost, are we?
He shook off the sinking feeling, preferring instead to begin looking after a few of the neglected functions the Mind normally minded. Ha! He checked on the vitals, realizing as he did so that the city was, as it should be, completely safe and secure. The Mind wouldn’t go away without switching on the autopilot, of course. So there was that, and less to bother himself with. That old Mind thinks of everything, he muttered to himself. Then he had another thought, and swiveled around to have a look at the outside world, the part the Mind normally kept an eye on. There he saw something that made him force himself up out of his slumber. He began to walk, then to run, ignoring the warning bells of his old, decrepit system. He pushed himself onward and downward, back to the place where he knew the Mind could be found, or at least reached. He wasn’t certain that his failing systems could get him there, but he had to try.
ALIXS FOUND THIS METHOD of communication with the Mindform even more enlightening, because it revealed far more of her personality than he’d ever been aware of. The intimacy wasn’t lost on him, either, and he felt drawn to her in a way he never realized might be possible. For all the awesome abilities of the great etherial presence he’d come to know, this face-to-face version was infinitely more appealing. He found himself appreciating the effort she had taken to make it happen, wondering just how difficult it had been. He noted the question for later, if there was time. But he realized, he knew, that she couldn’t stay like this for long. It was all too much for her. But they had much to discuss, and limited time in which to get it all out. He focused on her words and tried to take it all in, stopping only to ask for elaboration on key points.
As they’d already covered the history and political machinations of xeno society thus far, an in-depth review was unnecessary. The Mindform spoke mostly of the current situation, the probabilities of success, and an intriguing suggestion about why she’d become involved so late in the game.
“You were taking all this time, just to choose sides?” Alixs wasn’t entirely sure he’d understood her, or whether perhaps she’d been confused by his question.
“For most of xeno history, I sought to remain neutral. However, measures were taken to ensure success in the event of a schism.”
Her pseudo-shoulders slumped, making her look deflated. And sad. When she spoke again, her expression turned worried, her voice apprehensive. “You’re different, you know. Different from the others.”
“I am?” He felt cold, as though they were about to go somewhere very deep.
“You and many others, over the decades. Ahmis was one of my first interventions.”
“You mean you changed him?”
“No, I intervened in his creation. And yours.”
The cold feeling in Alixs began to increase, and he felt a strong shiver begin from his lower back, moving slowly up to his neck. His hair stood on end, and he felt like he was in quicksand. His breathing, too, was becoming improper and worrisome, and the Mindform produced a wrap that she placed around him, seemingly out of thin air.
The conjured blanket helped considerably, and when he recovered he asked her the most obvious, but difficult question. “Why me?”
She laughed. A lyrical, musical sound that brightened the room. Even in his shocked state Alixs couldn’t help but join her.
“Stupid question, I guess?”
“Not at all,” she answered, the remaining amusement slipping away with the words, “it’s a wonderful question. A question born of innocence, yet tinged with wisdom. The truth is, I can not answer, because I do not know. I chose you because there was no other. I chose you because you are you.”
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