Damn it.
Maybe I shouldn’t make light of what I’d done. How was I going to pay for my sins? Was that even possible?
I hated myself.
I missed thinking that I was badass and loving myself all the time.
“I don’t think I’ll look for Amber,” I said, talking partly to myself, partly to the bear cubs. “He’s not really my problem. I should head straight to the Sanctuary.” But what did he remember? A side of me knew that Amber contained a wealth of information, and I needed to know what exactly he’d recalled.
My brain hurt from everything I was going through. I nestled my butt on the log and glanced at the bear cubs. The moment I’d decided to rest, they’d decided to play, and they were wresting with each other in the dirt. “You two enjoy your break. We’re flying back to the Sanctuary in five.”
The female rolled on its belly, shook its ears, then yawned. It obviously didn’t understand my words. I sighed, then kneaded the bridge of my nose.
A breeze whipped by, giving me the chills.
It wasn’t cold, but it felt eerie. Like a thin sound whistling through sharp-edged leaves.
Everything around me felt off. Did that have something to do with the missing chiasma? The forest sounded quieter than usual. The blue of the sky edged on green, and should there really be so many fallen leaves on the forest floor? Too many of the branches that surrounded us looked barren. Did Haven experience winter? Was it coming soon? That would explain why the landscape seemed to be dying.
Dying.
How did I come to that conclusion? I shouldn’t be so pessimistic, but that was my gut feeling about my environment. A dreary bleakness cloaked the whole of Haven. I thought I’d seen a band of travelers, dressed in drab clothing, when I was flying to the forest. I wasn’t sure what they were moving for, but some of them were weeping.
I blew out a sigh through my nose and craned my neck up to the sky. Did the goddesses have the answers to the strangeness I felt around me? I wondered how they might greet me when I returned to them.
Squeak.
I snapped my head to my left. The female cub had wandered and fallen off a nearby cliff edge. My heart leapt to my throat. I stood and swept the male cub into my arms, not wanting to lose it too. “Hey!” I scampered toward the edge and looked over. Relief swept through me. The cliff wasn’t that high up, and the cub wasn’t injured at all. It got to its feet, shook, and recovered—
Flash.
A sharp, blinding light encompassed my vision. I had to shut my eyes.
Once I regained my vision, which didn’t take very long, because this body was overpowered, I looked ahead, wondering where the light had come from.
Amber was kneeling before me.
Amber?
I’d thought I was done with him.
He was turned away from me. The female cub eagerly ran up to him. The bears had always preferred him over me.
The cub I held wriggled excitedly, impatiently wanting to return to Amber. I held it close despite that.
Amber wasn’t alone.
A familiar figure hovered in front of him. The first time I’d seen her, she’d been made from a river’s water, her form translucent. This time, however, she was a feminine entity, created from a swirl of dirt and leaves and pebbles from the forest floor. The force of her presence caused the dust from the ground to billow upward, and the scent of dirt and earth filled my nostrils. The wind around me picked up in speed, and I had to pull my hair out of my eyes.
“My goddess,” Amber said. He placed one hand over his chest and lowered himself in supplication. I’d never seen him this serious before.
“You don’t have to kneel before me, Apollo,” Mother Nyx said. “We are equals. Always have been.”
Apollo? Was that his real name?
Had I been walking around with the god of sun all this time? That explained the intense heat that followed him incessantly.
The bear cub ran up to Apollo and clawed at his leg, but the sun god ignored the creature. His attention was wholly focused on the goddess before him. Despite my new goddess form, the scene before me made me feel mortal. These two beings… they weren’t like Hera, Agness, or even Clotho. They were something else.
Something greater.
The well of power that I sensed pulsing from them was unimaginably large.
“I’ve been preparing the world for our coming.”
Preparing? Did she mean destruction? Nyx bent down. Her dirt hands cupped Apollo’s cheeks. Gently, with her ethereal form, she placed a kiss on the sun god’s forehead.
“The others are slumbering, but I’m excited to see them again.”
“It’s been a long time.”
“It has.”
“The world has grown. Changed. Expanded ever since we decided to give it another chance.”
“Thanks to you.”
I kept quiet as I watched the two omnipotent entities. Apollo craned his neck up. His lips were so close to Nyx that I thought they might kiss. Instead, he continued in a breathy voice, “Don’t you think it is a waste, however? They have come so far.”
Nyx chuckled. She pulled back, and in a large, sweeping gesture that rustled the leaves around her, moved away from Apollo to laugh. “A waste? Perhaps you’ve invested too much of yourself in them.”
“I’ve been keeping the balance while you all slumbered. I was trapped as that ball for far too long. Even as one of the original gods, I fear that my mind couldn’t withstand all that pressure. I found myself getting attached.”
“Do you not want to see us again, Apollo?”
A pause.
“I do.”
“And we want to reunite with you.”
I thought I’d heard something like that before. Aphrodite had made similar promises. But no, she merely wanted to use me to escape the Otherside. Was Nyx doing the same thing to Apollo?
Nyx kneeled again. “The time has come, dear friend. The world is changing. It’s becoming ours again. Your sacrifice has meaning now. It’s coming to fruition, and isn’t that wonderful?”
“Wonderful…”
Apollo’s back was to me, so his expression was unreadable, but he sounded unconvinced.
“Don’t worry yourself over this,” Nyx said. She ran her hand down Apollo’s arm. “It’s a time for celebration. Your work is done and your time for sacrifice has ended. You should be happy. Aren’t you?”
Softly, almost in a monotone, Apollo said, “I am.”
“Good. Then I will see you when our plans are done. We’ll be back as we once were before you were the chiasma. It’ll be like nothing has changed at all.”
Apollo stilled. “But so much has changed.”
“We can go back to the way we once were…”
A whooshing noise stirred the forest. The leaves and dirt that had formed Nyx collapsed to the ground, and the wind left us just as the goddess did. Once Nyx disappeared, Apollo could return his attention to the cub. The creature no longer pawed at the sun god, however. All that noise the wind made must have taken it by surprise. It shrank away from Apollo when the sun god tried to pick it up.
“Hm,” Apollo said. If he was hurt by the bear’s rejection, he didn’t show it. He took a step away from the cub before training his orblike eyes on me. “Hello, Cara.”
I made a swirling motion with my index finger. “What was that?”
Apollo cocked his head. “The goddess, you mean?”
“Nyx?”
“How do you know her name?”
“I’d heard it before. From someone.”
“Who?”
I shuddered just thinking about the angry entity. “Nobody important. And I don’t just mean the goddess. I’m talking about that whole conversation. You as Apollo, the others. Who is Nyx referring to?” I gestured to the trees around us. “And why is the forest, the world, dying? What does she mean by ‘fruition’?”
“So many questions.”
“Why the fuck did you kiss me?”
“How do you know that?”
“I know many things.”
I gaped at him. “You were clueless when I first met you. That was less than twenty-four hours ago.”
“Yes.”
“And?” I wanted to shake the answers out of Apollo. What had just happened confused the fuck out of me, and so, like any other ignorant twat, I got angry. That was how people demanded answers, right?
“I got my memory back. Simple.” Apollo cocked his head. “It was that kiss I needed. You were once part of the chiasma, and I think that kiss was the missing piece that helped jog my memory. Thank you for that.”
Say what?
I narrowed my eyes at him. It was good that Apollo treated me this coldly. Then I didn’t need to worry about my stupid, straying heart. “All right. So, you’re aware of things now. You can answer my questions and clear my doubts.”
“That depends on whether I want to clear them at all.”
“After leading me on this much?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You need to give me some explanations. Stat. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Apollo lifted a brow.
I focused on the most glaring question, even though there was a bucketload I wanted to dump on him. “Where is the chiasma?”
Apollo smiled. The grin had none of the innocence of when I first met him. The gleaming expression on his face angered me. Was my cluelessness supposed to be a source of amusement for him? I swallowed down my anger and awaited his response.
“The chiasma? You’re looking at him,” he said. He pushed himself to his feet with cocky arrogance. He had the same body, still with his bright orange hair and taut, tan form, but he was a completely different person. Amber had seemed kind, innocent, and gentle. Apollo, however, carried himself with a completely different demeanor, a bearing that was as sharp as a knife. I felt like a speck of dust next to him. His presence was immense.
Just like the chiasma itself.
The chiasma…
I let the information sink in. It surrounded me, just like the sounds of the leaves rustling around us. Like the heat of the punishing sun that intruded even past the canopy of the forest.
I blinked, not believing my eyes. “You’re kidding.”
“And why would I?”
“The chiasma has been a dude all this time?”
“One with a temper. Pissed me off when people were taking parts of me and spreading it across the realms. That version of me inside you, when awakened, wanted to piece me back together. Some remnants of myself were still stuck in you at the end of the process, however. That’s why I needed to kiss you. To get back what I’d lost. That was how I got my memory back.”
“So, it was nothing… sexual.” Did I really have to say that so awkwardly? Didn’t matter if I’d committed two massacres; I was still a weird turtle inside.
Apollo’s smile widened. “Does that bother you? Would you like me to touch you more?”
Touch? I sensed my cheeks warming. I huffed, puffing them out. “Not the least bit.”
“And explain the thing about the world being—”
A force snapped across the clearing. I hugged the bear that I’d been holding more tightly. I wasn’t sure if the other cub would survive the blow. It had knocked me back, and I crashed against a tree. I was sturdier than I thought, and the impact uprooted the tree. It toppled, crashing into the dirt. I groaned and lifted myself up. I sensed the brushing of feathers against my calf. In my panic, I’d summoned my red wings.
“You okay?” I asked the cub, clutching it tightly.
It whimpered, its fur raised. The animal shook so much that I worried for its sanity. I searched the clearing. It didn’t look like it had a minute ago. Broken branches decorated the forest floor, and the fallen leaves had been blown away, revealing the red dirt underneath.
“Apollo?” I called. My eyes fell upon him a second later. He looked unfazed, his hair in perfect condition, with his single orange braid falling neatly down his shoulder. “Watch out!”
My warning proved unnecessary. With lightning speed, Apollo slapped away the light arrows that targeted him. My eyes couldn’t track him, and he vanished in an instant. I looked around for him, but instead, my eyes landed upon Devon. He was clad in a battle vest, both his weapons strapped to his waist.
“Cara! The goddesses are—”
Before he could finish his sentence, another force snapped him backward.
I should be relieved to see him, but the suddenness of the situation caused my stomach to cinch. What was Devon doing here? Was he hurt? My other vassals emerged from the trees soon after, but they weren’t alone. Swaths of goddesses had joined them, and none of them looked like they were ready for chitchat.
Just like my vassals, they were clad in battle gear. I gaped at them like a deer in headlights, with no battle-readiness of my own. It was the angry entity in me—Apollo—who had been the warrior. Me? I still saw myself as the high school dropout that had somehow ended up in the body of a goddess. The goddesses wielded magic. They lifted their hands, directing their powers at me.
“Cara!” Theo shouted.
Yep.
I was about to be fried.
So much for getting answers. Seemed like I wasn’t going to have enough time for Apollo to give them.
I lifted my wings, wanting to fly away, but knew I was too slow. I had no time to decide how to feel about dying. This whole goddesses-are-attacking-me-for-no-reason thing had come out of nowhere.
Something yanked me, throwing me backward. As I opened my eyes, I noticed new surroundings. I’d been torn away from the goddesses and transported to a new battle scene. I looked up, and my gaze met a chiseled jaw. Moon-like eyes searched mine. “Are you all right?” Apollo asked.
I was breathing heavily.
And if Apollo hadn’t saved me, I’d have gotten toasted right there and then. “I’m… breathing.”
The two cubs levitated around Apollo, shrieking and screaming for their lives. I wanted to tell them that everything was going to be okay, but I doubted they’d understand me anyway. They’d be fine. Apollo would make sure of that.
Apollo’s expression hardened. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Wait.” I wrapped my hand around Apollo’s forearm. “My vassals.”
“What about them?”
“We have to fetch them.”
Apollo shook his head. “They’re with the goddesses.”
“Surely you can—”
“We’re getting out of here.”
“I want my vassals with me.”
“They’re not my problem.”
“Well, fuck you.”
“Are you seriously cursing me after I just saved you?”
I scrunched my nose up. “Yeah. So, what about it? Give me my vassals back.”
“They’re in the middle of a swarm of goddesses. You don’t even know if you can trust them. What if they’re siding with the council? They might be luring you into a deathtrap.”
“My vassals wouldn’t do that. I can trust them.”
“Reason?”
“I just do.”
“And why should I trust them?” Apollo asked.
“You can trust me.”
Apollo frowned at me. My logic had obviously confused him. I didn’t blame him. This conversation was difficult to follow, and I was getting lost in it myself.
“Take me to my vassals.”
“We’re going,” Apollo said. “We don’t want to get caught—”
A snapping noise sounded through the forest. The leaves rustled, and birds fluttered through the sky soon after. The palm of my hand hurt. I winced at the sharp sting.
Apollo looked just as shocked as I did. “Did you just slap me?”
I gritted my teeth. “Are you going to save them or not?”
Apollo sighed and brushed his h
and through his orange hair. I sensed the temperature around me going up, heatwaves shimmering off the ground. “I hate myself for admitting this, Cara, but I’m concerned about your wellbeing.”
I raised a brow.
“I’ll help. But don’t take my kindness for granted.”
Eight
Theo
Theo knelt before the goddesses. His knees were pressed against the dirt ground, together with his dignity. He had been a strong warrior, belonging to Cara, but the goddesses now treated him and his vassal companions like dogs. They had collars tied around their necks, attached to vine-like leashes that the goddesses took turns to hold. They’d found Cara, and when the goddesses tried to kill her, Theo and his comrades jumped in to warn and save her, going against their agreement to help the goddesses capture Cara.
Fenrir bared his fangs at the goddesses, but similarly to Theo and his companions, they kept the wolf on a collar, and he was just as helpless as the rest of them.
How could Theo have allowed Cara to die? He loved her too much. Even more so than his many siblings who awaited him back home.
“I told you not to spare them,” Hera said. The leader of the goddesses circled her hand around her leather arm brace. Her battle gear was the most resplendent of all, decorated with elaborate gold embellishments and diamonds. She wore her hair in an intricate style. She looked too poised to be going into war. Then again, goddesses did everything in style.
Hera straightened, pushed her chest out to seem fiercer, then turned to squint at Agness. “Now look what you’ve done.”
Agness pressed her lips together. “Maxwell thinks his son—”
“I don’t care what Maxwell thinks. He is your vassal. Just a vassal, even though he might be a decorated one. We can’t let the desires of lowly men affect Haven’s safety. We bear the burden of keeping this realm safe.”
“I was only trying to respect my vassal’s wishes,” Agness said.
“I don’t. Not if his wishes are going to cause us all to die.”
“Surely you listen to your subjects?”
“Within reason. In such an instance, I will have to ignore their requests.”
Agness shook her head and sighed. “What’s done is done. All that’s left is to look for Cara.”
Reign of the Goddess Page 5
