by Tanya Allan
I greeted Maud, and then looked at Katie, who was glaring suspiciously at me out of her big brown eyes. She took in my yellow dress.
“That’s my Mama’s dress,” she announced, and Roger laughed.
“Yes Katie, it is. I have given Jane some of your Mama’s old clothes, as she finds herself without clothes until her luggage can be sent for,” Roger said.
Katie did not take this news well, glaring at me, almost daring me to attempt to exert authority. I took the dare.
“Katie. You need to wash your hands before lunch, so I think it would be nice for us to have a little talk before lunch anyway. So, please come with me,” I said, opening the door for her.
“I don’t have to,” she said.
“Katie,” I said, very quietly, as I would speak to a Marine who needed words of advice, “You are sadly mistaken. You do have to, and believe me, I am the last person you ever want to make angry.” I met her stare, holding it unwaveringly.
My tone of voice contained such menace that she paled visibly, and her mouth opened. She looked at her father, who simply smiled and said, “Katie, you will do exactly what Jane says.”
I thought she would resist some more, but she lifted her chin and flounced out of the room. I smiled at Roger, nodded to his sister and followed the little spitfire out of the room, closing the door behind me.
Katie was standing in the hall, glaring at me, with her arms folded.
“Upstairs, if you please,” I said.
“Shan’t! You cannot make me.”
I smiled, lifting her off her feet and slinging her across my shoulder in a fireman’s lift. She screamed and kicked, but I had a very strong grip. I took her to the bathroom and plonked her onto the floor. She stood looking rather fearfully at me.
“Now Katie. It is time you understand some truths. I am your worst nightmare. I am stronger than you are, wiser than you are, and can scream far louder than you can. Your Papa pays me to teach you the things that he wants you to learn, and he chose me because I am very good at what I do. I will not bend to your temper or tantrums. If you become horrid, I will be twice as horrid to you. On the other hand, if you are nice, then I will be twice as nice. You never know, we may even begin to like each other.
“So, you can forget being a selfish little strumpet, it is time to learn those things that will make your life even better. You will be able to learn how to make people give you what you want, by just being a very nice person, and never by stamping your foot and screaming.”
She frowned.
“How?”
“By learning the special secret of life.”
“What is that?”
“I can’t tell you, as that’s cheating. You have to find it out for yourself. If you do as I say, you will find it out very quickly, but if you try to make my life difficult, you may die a miserable old woman and never know it.”
She glared at me, but I could see conflicting emotions struggle in her mind.
“Go and wash, now, if you please,” I said, pointing to the basin.
She opened her mouth to say something, but then thought better of it. She turned and washed her hands. I watched as she dried them, so I washed my own hands.
“Miss Jane?” she said.
“Yes Katie.”
“Are you very strong?”
“Very.”
“Are you stronger than my daddy?”
“Probably. But I would never let him know that.”
“My Mama never could carry me like that.”
“Well, I can, and if you ever make me angry, you will discover what else I am capable of.”
“Were you angry with me?”
“No, merely displeased.”
“Why?”
“Because you were an obstinate and rude little girl, and that displeases me.”
“My other governesses were not like you.”
“Oh?”
“They were ninnies.”
“Believe me child, I am not a ninny.”
“I know that. Can you ride?”
“Of course.”
“I want to learn to ride astride, but the groom says that ladies must learn side saddle.”
“Side saddle is for ninnies. I will teach you to ride astride, and to fence, fish and lots of other things that your Papa must never know about.”
“You can fence?”
“Of course. I can do lots of things that would cause your aunt Maud to have the vapours.”
“Will you teach me?”
“If you are good.”
“How good?”
“Very, very good. I want you to be a picture of politeness and delight. But when we are alone, you can be yourself,” I said.
Katie grinned.
“I think you will be fun,” she said.
“Be very careful, Katie. Remember, you do not want to make me angry,” I said, looking hard at her. She looked down, with a cheeky dimple in her cheeks.
“I will do everything that you tell me to. Is that all right?”
“If you manage to do that, then I will teach you to ride. If you manage a week, then I will show you how to fence, and a month, I will show you how to shoot.”
Her mouth dropped open, but then she grinned.
“I think it is time to join the others. When we are together, you may call me Jane, but with company, even just your father or the servants, you should call me Miss Jane. That way they will think that I am doing my job,” I said, and she grinned again.
We went and joined the others, and Katie behaved impeccably. Groves served a lamb stew and dumplings, which was about the nicest meal I ever remember tasting. I was famished, but had to eat slowly and ever so politely. It occurred to me that however my new body was enhanced, my taste buds must have also been enhanced. I was served a glass of Madeira wine, having to resist the urge to ask for a Budweiser.
At one point, her aunt asked Katie to stop kicking the table leg, and Katie looked at me, so I simply nodded and she immediately stopped, saying, “I am sorry Aunt Maud, I didn’t know I was doing it.”
Roger stared at her and then at me. I simply smiled and ate my food. There was sufficient for seconds and Roger had some. My plate was clean, so he offered me some more. I accepted, aware that in polite society nice girls should only eat a small amount. I wasn’t a nice girl - I was a starving Marine.
“Faith, Jane, I do like a girl with a good appetite. It is so refreshing,” he said.
“To eat too much is grossly unseemly and a sign of a rough upbringing,” offered Maud, in a prissy voice. I felt the anger rise in my breast.
“When you have had as little as I for so long, I am afraid you can take my upbringing and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine,” I said, but instantly regretted it.
Maud stared at me with an open mouth, while Roger paused with his fork on the way to his mouth. Katie simply dissolved into giggles.
Roger put his fork down and burst into laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks, as his daughter and sister stared at him. Finally, he controlled himself, wiping his eyes with his white linen table napkin.
“Daddy, I haven’t heard you laugh like that since before Mama died,” Katie said.
He looked at her and smiled. “No, I haven’t had too much to laugh about,” he said, and then looked at me, “Perhaps now I have.”
I looked down, aware that I was blushing.
Maud sniffed disapprovingly, so I stifled a giggle. Roger noted and smiled, which made me worse. I changed it into a cough, which fooled no one, except perhaps Maud.
Groves cleared the table, bringing a steaming apple pie and custard. Roger served it up, giving me an enormous slice, which I dispatched with alacrity.
Roger observed and smiled at me, saying nothing. The clock in the hall struck two, so Maud rose.
“Roger, I must go, I have an appointment at two thirty with my dressmaker,” she announced.
She turned to me and, through a superior sneer, said, “It was interesting to meet you, no dou
bt you will not last long, but I wish you well.”
“You underestimate me, Madam. One thing I am famed for is lasting,” I said, holding her glare and returning it so she broke off first. We did not like each other, she and I.
She kissed Katie on the cheek and the little girl made a face, wiping her cheek with her hand as soon as the woman turned away. She then kissed her brother, who went with her into the hall.
I could hear her voice, whining and unpleasant.
“Roger, I do think you ought to reconsider, I do not believe that that girl is the right sort at all.”
“And why is that, pray, Maud?” Roger’s voice had a guarded edge to it, but Maud went on, oblivious.
“Oh, she is rather too vulgar, and certainly forward. I believe she has her eyes on you as a husband.”
Roger laughed.
“For goodness sakes, Maud, I’m a penniless soldier, with two brats and little income. She is a striking beauty, who could have any wealthy man in the land if she so desired. Besides, have you not seen that already Katie does as she is bid?”
“Hmph. Trickery, if you ask me.”
“Goodbye Maud, please do not question my decisions in my house ever again,” Roger said, a note of anger creeping into his voice.
“Roger. I am only looking after your interests,” Maud replied, her voice whining awfully now.
“Rubbish. You are looking after yours. You will do me the service of minding your own business, and not interfering with mine. Mother is dead, you have no right to try to take her place,” he said, and the front door slammed.
He returned to the dining room, still a little flushed.
“I am sorry, sir. It was not my intention to cause discord between you and your sister,” I said.
He looked at me and smiled.
“Dear Jane, my sister and I have experienced discord ever since I can remember. I am sorry that she behaved like an unpleasant harridan towards you.”
“It is of no account. As I said, I am capable of looking after myself.”
“Of that, I have no doubt whatsoever,” he said.
After lunch, Katie and I went for a walk along the banks of the river Thames. We wrapped up warm, as there was a cold wind and it looked like rain. I found it amazing that only a few hours ago I was traipsing around with no clothes on at all.
It was fascinating seeing a period of history about which I knew very little. I had only studied American History after a fashion. I was aware that at this time the early colonists were still fighting for independence. Indeed, Napoleon had sold the whole of Louisiana to the Americans for the equivalent of 5 cents an acre. He was so desperate for funds to fight his battles in Europe.
However, even with Napoleon Bonaparte on continental Europe, life in England seemed very sedate and calm. That, having been said, we were on the eve of the industrial revolution, so the gulf between the rich and poor was immense. The emerging middle classes were only just beginning to wrest some of the ill-gotten gains from the aristocracy and landowners, but it was a hard battle.
The river traffic was prolific, as the Thames was the highway of this part of England. We watched the barges as the enormous horses tugged them along and the little boys threw bread at the ducks, as they have done for centuries. Once outside the cities and town, the roads were simple tracks that became mud in poor weather. Inside the towns, few of the streets were anything other than cobbled or crude gravel.
We walked home, as Katie began to talk to me about her mother. She missed her dreadfully, and she described a picture of a gentle loving woman, with patience and an artistic streak. Katie was almost in tears as she told me what they used to get up to, and my heart went out to the small girl.
“She was very pretty,” Katie said. “Daddy had her portrait done. It hangs in his study over his desk.”
“I should like to see it. I am sorry I never met her,” I said.
She looked at me. “You are pretty too, but in a different way.”
I smiled. “How different?”
“You are not as dainty as she was. You make some men frightened, I think.”
I laughed. “Why is that?” I asked.
“Because they don’t like clever women, who are as good at things as they are. They like girls to be sissy and silly. Like Aunt Maud.”
“Not all women are like your aunt,” I said.
“No, thank goodness. My last governesses were. I am glad you are not.”
“Good,” I said, as we headed back to the Manor.
Katie was a highly intelligent little girl, who had taken the birth of her brother and death of her mother rather badly. Her maternal grandparents, now having lost their daughter, doted on the child, spoiling her rotten. The Major saw a good deal of his beloved late-wife in Katie, so did not have it in his heart to scold her, as he should. However, recognising that a child needed discipline was more than happy for me to take on such a task.
When I told her that my (supposed) parents were both dead, and my sisters too, she was very quiet, taking my hand in hers.
“It is awful being alone. But I will always be your friend,” she said.
From that moment on, we became very close.
We took tea in my small sitting room, which was next to the small schoolroom. Katie’s tea included her supper, as her bedtime was six thirty.
“Tomorrow, we start some lessons,” I said.
Katie made a face.
“Must we?”
“Yes. But I promise that all our lessons will be fun.”
“Really, how will you manage that?”
“You will have to wait and see,” I said.
She obediently got ready for bed. Once changed, I took her down to say goodnight to her father, who was in his study writing letters. I stood by the door, but noticed the portrait of his late wife hanging above his desk.
She’d been a very pretty woman, but dark and petite, with enormous, rather sad brown eyes. Coincidentally, for the portrait, she had worn the dress I was now wearing, with a bonnet and a small parasol. Her eyes were gazing dreamily at some feature off in the distance to the left of the artist, and a small smile played around her lips. She seemed very pale, reminding me of a porcelain doll.
The Major hugged Katie, calling her his little poppet. She sat on his knee, hugging him tightly. Then she scampered back upstairs. I followed, watching as she snuggled into her bed.
“Would you like me to tell you a story?” I asked.
“Ooh. Yes please.”
“What would you like the story to be about?”
“I don’t know, how about a witch.”
I told her the story of Snow White and the seven dwarves, sketching some of the Disney characters as I went. She was asleep before I reached half way.
I kissed her on the cheek and tucked her in. Then, taking the candle, I turned to leave. I jumped, for standing in the doorway was the Major.
“You startled me,” I said, crossly.
We left the room and I shut the door, but then he took my arm.
“I am sorry, Jane, I didn’t mean to. But I was so taken with the story, that I wanted you to finish.”
“Then you shall have to listen tomorrow,” I said.
“I shall indeed,” he said, still holding my arm.
I looked at him, then at his hand, so he dropped his arm as if burned.
“Forgive me, I should not have touched you.”
“Why? Have I some dreadful disease?”
He laughed, shaking his head. “You never cease to amaze me; you have such a refreshing manner. It is as if you care not one jot for the rules our society embraces.”
“I don’t. Care a jot, I mean.”
“Neither do I, as they are an infernal bore. My sister is so tied up with them that she is smothered.”
“I must thank you, sir, for your kindness to me. You took me in with no references, and I could have been anyone.”
“Jane, I have watched you with my daughter, and you have succeeded in hours whe
re six women have failed over eighteen months. I consider myself a good judge of character, and you are unique.”
“I certainly am, sir. But I hope that your faith in me will be justified.”
“Will you dine with me, this evening?”
“If you would like me to.”
“I would, very much,” he said, and it was his turn to blush.
“Then I shall be honoured, sir.”
“Jane, please call me Roger. I would prefer to be a friend than an employer.”
“If you would like, Roger.”
“Thank you. Can I offer you some wine?”
“That would be nice, thank you,” I said. He took my arm again, and led me back to the drawing room.
The fire was going well, giving off a tremendous heat. I sat on the sofa quite close, as he handed me a glass of red wine. Then with his own glass, he stood with his back to the fire.
“Tell me, Roger, was the Peninsular War hard for you?”
“War is always hard. Conditions were awful at times, despite the enemy being without mercy, there was illness and hardship amongst the lines. I lost four good horses and many friends. My dear wife died before I returned, but then I was wounded. You can understand why I’m no longer flushed with excitement over such matters.”
“Does your wound still pain you?”
He pulled back his shirt, revealing to me the mark on his upper chest close to his right shoulder.
“An inch or two to the left, and it would have hit my heart.”
I stood and looked closely at the wound. It had healed crudely, as I knew that field hospitals in this time were crude in the extreme. I touched the scar, feeling the rough tissue. My mind went back to the wounds I had received, and I recalled the morphine and antibiotics they’d pumped into me. This new body of mine was without blemish, and I never experienced the merest twinge from my knees. This man had probably only had a stiff brandy and a lump of leather upon which to bite down.
He took my hand, holding it for a moment. I looked at him from under my lowered eyelids, finding that I was enjoying this game.
“Your hand is cold,” he said.
“My heart is warm,” I replied, making him smile again. He let go of my hand.
