by Tanya Allan
Roger wanted to show off his new fiancée, so invited many of his friends and their wives to dinner. Some were army friends, whilst others were local. They were all utterly charming, and Roger told me that I performed the duties of hostess wonderfully. Maud was conspicuous by her absence, and even when I should see her about the town, she studiously ignored me.
When I told Roger, he became angry, and I urged him that it was of no account. I ordered my wedding-dress and one for Katie too, and supervised the fitting of my new shower system to my bathroom.
I had a back-boiler fitted to my fireplace, with a water tank in the attic. It still required manually filling, but I planned to place a hand pump next to it to draw water up and straight into the tank. The idea was simple. I would fill the boiler by turning a tap, and then using a handle, pump the hot water through a pipe and into my shower-head. It gave about ten gallons a time, so was just right for a decent shower.
The blacksmith was so taken with the idea, that he would spend many hours with me in the kitchen going over ideas for indoor plumbing. He wanted to use lead pipes, but I told him that the lead was dangerous to health, and he seemed surprised. I suggested copper pipes, and gave him ideas for indoor WCs and water systems.
I am sure he went off to become a leading light in the plumbing world, but I got my shower, and was happy with that. I didn’t have the Time Police knocking on my door, so I breathed a sigh of relief.
I spent every night with Roger, yet our lovemaking was as enthusiastic and energetic as that first night. We learned new levels of pleasure together, and I particularly enjoyed pleasing him with my mouth. I have no idea whether oral sex was an accepted part of normal sexual relations in this century, but I didn’t care, as it was such fun. I really enjoyed the sense of complete control I had over my lover as soon as I took a hold of his cock. He was a complete slave to my desires, and yet I was as much a slave to him too.
Christmas was a happy time. Nanny returned to her family, so I looked after the baby, who was not so much a baby any more. I promoted young Abigail to be my personal maid, and she took her duties seriously. Part of these were to stand in for Nanny, as William adored her too.
The household awoke with William at a little after six. The fires were all lit, and we dressed. The ladies’ fashions actually hid a multitude of layers, so regardless of the lack of central heating in most houses, it was nice to wrap up warm. Having a nice fire in each room was pleasant, but much of the house was arctic.
We went to church, so I took a careful look at the church in which I was due to get married in a few weeks. It was quite large, seating more than 500 people. I discovered that Roger’s family was a lot larger and widespread than I had realised.
He never told me that his cousin Richard de Lambert was the Marquess of Malmsbury, and that side of his family were actually very wealthy and titled. His own small branch may not have been as wealthy, but were equally proud of their long and very respectable heritage. Many knights and other titles were spattered down the ages, and Roger’s own father had been Sir William de Lambert, a General in the army.
Many people greeted us after the service, and the local people treated me with real warmth. Maud almost smiled at us, but Roger cut her dead. I could see that there would be problems from that quarter before too long.
We returned to the Manor. Roger invited several local friends for some mulled wine and to join us for luncheon. I only then realised that Christmas trees started in the Victorian age, and so I would have to wait for at least fifty years to enjoy decorating a tree.
We had a large roast goose and lots of wine. I became very merry indeed, and after lunch, we played games like charades. At teatime, our guests left, so Roger had us all put on our warmest coats. It had snowed and we walked to the stables through about five inches of fresh snow. I couldn’t resist it, and threw a snowball at Roger, knocking his fine new beaver skin hat off. He grabbed me, upended me into the snow, and we rolled about laughing in front of the bemused children.
We arrived at the stables, where Roger led out a small foal. He was exquisite, almost pure black but with a small white mark between his eyes.
“Katie, this little chap is yours. You must look after him, care for him, and you need to name him,” he said, and Katie burst into tears of joy.
“I am going to call him Snowflake, because his mark is just like one, and it will remind me of the day I got him,” she said.
I agreed that that was a super name, and Roger placed his arm around my shoulders as we watched the little girl get to know her foal. The little chap nuzzled her, and I handed her some carrots with which I had thoughtfully come equipped. She held them out and he took them and munched them eagerly.
He was too young to ride yet, but Katie was totally smitten. I knew that if ever we lost her, she would be with Snowflake.
Roger took him into his stall, and Katie wrapped a big blanket around him.
“May I stay here a while, Papa?”
“Yes, but we shall be opening presents in half an hour,” Roger replied.
I carried William as we walked slowly back to the house.
“It seems too good to be true,” he said, holding my hand.
“What does?”
“All this. I never dared hope to find such happiness. It is like a dream.”
I smiled as we went back into the warmth.
William was becoming impatient, so Roger brought out the fort that a local craftsman made him. Small lead soldiers, painted in bright colours, some infantrymen, and other Dragoons on horses, were in a small wooden box. I marvelled at the craftsmanship, and hoped that the small boy would look after them.
Roger handed me a small box, wrapped in gaily-coloured paper.
I opened it and saw a wonderful string of pearls. They were truly beautiful.
He took them from my and placed them around my neck. They looked lovely.
“Thank you. I will treasure them for ever,” I said, and he kissed me.
“How I would rather give you diamonds. But alas, I am but a poor soldier.”
I gave him my gift to him, in a small box.
He unwrapped it and gasped. It was a half hunter gold pocket watch. It had taken all my savings, and the leaf was inscribed.
To Roger, my one and only love,
from Jane,
His devoted wife.
To my surprise he started to cry.
“This must have cost you the earth,” he said.
“You are worth it, my love. After all without you, money is worthless.”
He then surprised me, as he started to laugh.
“I pawned my watch to buy you these pearls, and you buy me a finer watch with all the money you have in the world. How romantic can you get?”
We hugged each other, and Katie’s return interrupted us.
I gave her a doll, which I had purchased, and made a very pretty dress. She gave me a bottle of lavender water. For her father she produced a handkerchief on which she had embroidered his name.
We sat down to an early supper, the epitome of a happy family.
January saw chaos reign at our house. Roger asked nearly one hundred and fifty people to the wedding. I asked none. It became apparent just how alone I was in the world, and I’m sure it caused some talk amongst the worthies of Abingdon. However, such were the impact of the various campaigns; many families were decimated by the deaths of their men-folk.
We opened the large hall at the manor. It was so huge that it remained sealed for most of the winter, as it was a nightmare to keep warm.
Roger hired extra staff, and I helped supervise the preparations. I made many arrangements using dried flowers, which I had painted to give a wealth of colour. The night before the wedding, Roger and I remained apart, and I missed him dreadfully.
Time flew past, until suddenly I was standing at the door of the church, wearing a wonderful dress of white satin and lace, with a veil and train. Two of Roger’s nephews held the train, and with Katie by my side
, I was holding the arm of Colonel Reginald Percy, Roger’s commanding officer. There were uniforms everywhere, and women in their finest frocks, despite the snow on the ground, and sub-zero temperatures in the church.
Roger stood at the alter rail, looking resplendent in his Dragoon uniform. His friend, Captain Mark Hatcher, was his best man, and this was the first time I had set eyes on him. He had only returned from France a few days before.
It was so cold, I could see my breath, but the verger had lit charcoal braziers every few yards in the church, and with the two hundred people, it was soon warmer.
I remember very little about the service, except for the horrendous pause at the point the vicar asked if anyone knew of any reason we should not be wed.
Fortunately, no one came forward, so I made my vows, as did my husband. Roger placed the ring on my finger, and then kissed me. I was married.
We signed the register, I was so cold, that my hand shook, and the inkwell had to be held over a candle to melt the frozen ink.
We left the church and mounted an open carriage that took us the short distance to the Manor. By the time we arrived, I was blue and in the final stages of hypothermia. I hated to think what I should have been like if my body had not been able to withstand low temperatures.
Roger had to carry me into the house, as I pretended to be almost too frozen to walk.
Groves, bless him, had all the fires going, and he immediately handed me an enormous brandy, which I gulped down in a very unladylike fashion. The warmth from the brandy flowed like a fire in my belly, so I felt better already.
“Welcome home, my darling wife,” Roger said.
“I am so pleased to be here, my darling husband,” I said, and we kissed. I felt the passion behind the kiss, and knew that I wanted to take him to bed that moment. However, the guests started to arrive, so we had to curb our passion.
Katie came bounding over and flung her arms around me.
“Mama. There, I can call you that now! You are so beautiful. I want to be just like you when I grow up.”
I hugged the little girl, and wept inside for the children I knew I could never bear.
In the end, nearly two hundred people were squeezed into the hall, and fine food and wine flowed all day. Speeches were made, and toasts drunk. I was on cloud nine, as it was the most perfect day. Even my sister-in-law Maud was almost nice to me, and I know that took a lot of doing.
Finally, all the guests had departed, and the house was quiet. The servants had tidied up, and the children were in bed, fast asleep. They had gone beyond tired.
Roger carried me into his bedroom and undressed me on the bed. I lay there as he undressed, covered with a huge eiderdown. He then came to me and made me his wife in truth.
Our lovemaking was so tender, so slow and loving, that it hurt. We took each other to new heights of pleasure and love that night, and I wanted to bear him a child so much that I cried in anguish.
I held him all night, and we lost count of how often we made love. I rose at seven, leaving him asleep, and made him some breakfast, which I took to him in bed. We ate our breakfast, and made love amongst the crumbs.
“Jane, my love. I am so happy. I am so sorry that we cannot take a honeymoon yet.”
“I am happy wherever you are. I just want you to love me and hold me,” I said, and we snuggled under the covers together.
We made love all day, appearing at supper, and then going back to bed again. I hoped that if we fucked enough, one of his sperm might win though and I would conceive.
However, it was not to be, for a few days later, I bled again, and was depressed as a result.
Life became normal once more, and as Mrs Jane de Lambert, I was now a respectable married woman of some standing in the community. I began to be invited to other ladies’ homes for tea and the occasional luncheon. I still taught Katie, and started teaching William, but knew that Katie was ready for school. At this time, few schools existed for girls, so I knew that I would have to do the best I could.
Then, one Friday, Roger dropped his bombshell. He had been quiet all day, ever since receiving a letter, and I guessed that his regiment had recalled him.
I was right. Roger was to head for France, so would be gone by the end of the week.
Katie had seen it before, but the last time he had gone, her Mama had died, and her father had returned wounded. She became very quiet and tearful, while William was blissfully unaware of what was happening.
That week we spent most nights awake, talking and making love. He asked me if I wanted children, and I told him, truthfully, with all my heart.
He said that he would love more children, but didn’t know if we could afford them.
“I have William’s name down for Eton. It is not cheap.”
“We will manage,” I said.
Finally, he was gone, and I was alone. The house seemed empty, but I could smell him in our room. I would spend the evenings in his study, smelling his cologne and feeling his presence. I missed him awfully.
Money was tight, but sufficient for our limited needs. I began to take my task seriously, so actively started to seek out the unusual. I trolled the newspapers, listened to gossip and tried as hard as I could to find anything out of the ordinary; there was nothing that caught my eye.
By March, spring was on its way, and it was warming up. I was very grateful, as I never thought I would be warm again.
The only intelligence I had was the Royce Rooms. These were very old assembly rooms, which had been a school since the twelfth century. Thus, in the spring of 1814, the townsfolk frequently used them for classes and meetings. I took to going on walks around the town with Katie, passing the rooms at least once a day. On one such morning, it was lightly raining, so I wore a cloak and hood, as did my ward. As we made our way home, a man came round the corner, bumping into me. Now, I am fairly substantial, but such was his haste, he almost knocked me off my feet.
“Oh,” I exclaimed, and the man turned.
My first impression was that he was an actor, dressed like someone from this era, so all my hackles rose. He looked wholly out of place.
“Are you all right, Mama?” Katie asked.
The man looked at me, then at Katie and then at me again.
“I am sorry. I was in a hurry and didn’t see you,” he said shortly.
“I should ask that you take more care sir, for you almost knocked me off my feet.”
“I am sorry, madam. It was not intentional. I am late for a meeting.”
He then gave himself away, as no other action could. As he turned away from me, he looked at his wrist, and on seeing no watch there, cursed and took out a pocket watch.
I had moved off, leaving him cursing and walking on his way. My heart was racing, as this could only be someone used to wearing a timepiece on his wrist. The first wristwatches were worn by soldiers in the Boer War, which would not take place until the end of this century. He could only be a construct, so if that was the case - my enemy.
I walked quickly home, sending Katie to her room to read a book. I then went back out again, hastening to the Royce Rooms. I observed that the candelabras were all illuminated, but I wasn’t able to see in the windows, but I assumed there was a meeting taking place, so I waited. To pass the time I wandered round the market, buying a few things that I knew we needed, and several that we didn’t. An hour later, I saw the man again. He was in the company of another man, much smaller and plump, and they were engrossed in conversation as they walked up Stert Street.
I followed, believing that I must appear to them as many other hooded and caped women in the rain. They were oblivious to my presence, so I was able to get close enough to hear them.
The only words I heard chilled me to the bone.
The tall man said, “I’m off to France next month. It’s the only answer.” He spoke English with an accent.
“But the Duke, he’s Britain’s finest general,” replied his friend. Now this one was English, I’d swear, but his v
oice had an unpleasant whine to it.
“If we’re to succeed, then he must die. It’s the only way.”
The men crossed the road and separated. I followed the taller man to a house, and I noted the number.
I moved off and returned home.
They were planning to assassinate the Duke of Wellington. Of course, Waterloo was not for over a year, Napoleon was about to be defeated and exiled to Elba, only to return in 1815 and to be finally defeated at Waterloo by the Duke of Wellington. If they assassinated the latter now, then Waterloo may have a completely different result.
I had to get to France and prevent this from happening.
As I walked in the door, Groves was waiting for me.
“Madam, there is a letter for you from the master.”
He had placed the letter on a silver salver, and I grabbed it with glee.
Paris. May14th 1814
My Darling Wife,
I am missing you so much. The fighting is over, and I am still in one piece. I was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel last week, and have been given my own command of a regiment of Dragoons. Boney is finished, and there are rumours of surrender. The Duke is the hero of the hour, and the army is welcomed to a new Paris.
I have been given quarters near the Seine, and want you to join me. Bring the children, and catch the boat from Dover to Calais. I shall be waiting for you on the French side. I so want to show you and the children the city of Paris, it is an opportunity not to miss. It shall be our honeymoon.
Not a day goes past without me wanting to be with you, so please come. I have booked you on the packet on the 4th June. So I hope to see you on the 5th in France.
Your loving Husband
Roger
PS Kiss the children for me.
